Oh My Kichigai!
by Uchiha Xairylle
Summary: IchiRuki To Ichigo, being the head of his family was just that. Madness. Kichigai. The Sequel to Oh My White Butterfly! R&R! The last part of the Oh My...! Bleach Fanfic Trilogy
1. Ohayou!

Before anything else, please let me inform you that this is a sequel. Although I am trying hard to let this fic be able to stand on its own — understandable even without the prequel — I would still advise you to read it's prequel, "Oh My White Butterfly!"

Thank you!

Kichigai means madness.

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**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter One : Ohayou!**

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Shinigami literally meant "death god" and is the Japanese personification of death. Representative was synonymous to "envoy" or "agent" or "officer". So from this, one could say that a "Shinigami Representative" was a "Death God Officer". Wonderful. Now that that made sense…

Ichigo looked at the papers on his desk.

What were these papers doing in front of him?

It had been nearly ten years ago when Ichigo became Shinigami and in that same year, he rescued Rukia and became Shinigami Representative. Ten years ago, he did not have paper work but ever since "Shinigami Representative" officially became a "rank" that was equal to a Captain's, Ichigo had tons of paperwork. He did not see why he had to put up with this. He didn't even have an official squad. Chad, Inoue and Ishida comprised a _trio_ and not a squad… And they don't work for Sereitei!

They had been lightly nicknamed the "Fifteenth Squad" because his name was Ichigo — Ichi meaning "one" and Go meaning "five". Their main role? They represent and speak for the "living" people in the court of Sereitei. Ichigo did not know if he were to be flattered or embarrassed or both.

Promotion promised lots of things both positive and negative. Although this Shinigami Representative thing of his actually earned him _real_ money, it also reaped him tons of paperwork. Ichigo still shivered whenever he remembered Shinigami Representative days plus college days. Those were not very attractive. Even if he belonged to the same class as Ishida Uryuu, things were not easy. A Hollow would attack once in a while and it was nowhere close to High School where he could just shoot out like a bullet out of class.

Ichigo had to take up a medicine course to take after his father and it was understandable that Ishida did the same. Neither of them had inherited the family business but both of them were expected to.

In the middle of his thoughts, the Spirit Phone beside him beeped. Ichigo looked. The closest Hollow had been eliminated. He shrugged. Aside from having a Spirit Phone, he now also learned how to listen to Hell Butterflies. Was he a freak of nature or what?

"Whoops!" a female voice chirped and two feet landed on his window sill. Ichigo looked at the short haired girl in black haori and hakama coming in through his window. He leaned back and watched her close the window before she turned and smiled innocently at him.

"Back so fast?" Ichigo's head tilted, "Didn't I tell you to stay put and let that afro Shinigami take care of that low-level Hollow?"  
"I got bored?" Rukia smiled and spoke in that innocent high school girl's voice that always gave Ichigo the creeps.

They had a house of their own now and it was built beside his father's house. Isshin had cried when they moved out and Ichigo did not see the whole point of "I'm going to miss you" when their house was beside each other's.

Ichigo had considerably aged and Rukia's gigai was one that looked like it aged as well. She had to change her gigai so that she'd look like she was actually aging like her husband. However, whenever they kicked into their Shinigami forms, time flew back and Ichigo would once again look like the sixteen year-old high school punk from before. There were times that Ichigo didn't want to change back for the heck but, since he had a son to return to, he always had to change back.

"What if Ken'ichi sees you?" Ichigo crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow at his wife.  
"No, he won't. He's at school." Rukia pouted and she put her hands on her waist, "And don't you give me that look."  
"What look?"  
"_That_ look!"

_Logical_ as ever. Ichigo opened his mouth to say something but dropped whatever it was that was in his mind. He shook his head with a grin as he resorted to return to his paperwork.

Rukia looked at her husband who was doused in Shinigami work. Her eyes glanced at the papers stacked beside him and she walked behind him, putting her hands on his shoulders as he continued to swish the brush that he was now accustomed to. He had cursed the brush from the very beginning and argued about just using a ballpoint pen to make things less complicated. But Sereitei was Sereitei and Ichigo was denied his ballpoint pen. But now that he had been using the brush and ink quite often, Ichigo was able to use it like a ballpoint pen — like a sword.

"Ichigo." Rukia said thoughtfully as she looked at the moving end of his brush.  
"Hm?" Ichigo replied simply, a third of his thoughts leaving the paper his brush was meeting.

"Ichigo, Ken'ichi will eventually find out." Rukia said and her eyes moved to look at him but she could only his orange strands. Ichigo stopped and lifted the brush from the paper but he did not say anything. Rukia waited as he leaned back and put the brush on the table.

"Ichigo…"

"Rukia, it's not yet time." Ichigo replied.  
"Then when is the right time for my little Kii?" Rukia asked.

Ichigo did not answer.

"Ichigo…" Rukia bent and her arms moved to embrace him from behind. Ichigo held her arms and tilted his head so that he could feel her. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, "What are you so afraid about?"

"You're a Shinigami. I'm a Shinigami. We know very well that Ken'ichi is one, too." Rukia murmured as she poked her nose against his cheek, "Wouldn't it be more dangerous if he didn't know?"

"Rukia, he's not ready."  
"He's not ready or _you're_ not ready?"

Ichigo sighed.

Ten years.

Ken'ichi was now ten years old and Ichigo and Rukia had kept Sereitei a secret from him. His child could see souls. His child could see the Hollows. They have explained a lot to him but never did they reveal that they were Shinigami. Ichigo had been careful of himself, careful not to be hurt so badly, careful not to be injured and suddenly, he had a strange fear for death. If he died, it would complicate things between him and his family and the last thing he wanted was for things to reach that point. Ichigo could risk his self, his life, his entirety but he did not want to risk his son. What was he going to do when he found out his son had an Inner Hollow? And what if his son got eaten by the Hollow even before he knew about it? Was Ichigo to go and toss his son among the Vaizards and watch him turn into a Hollow as he battled his inner self? And what if his son did not have a resolve firm enough to beat his Inner Hollow? Ichigo did not want to take any chances.

"Rukia, we can't just let him change into a Shinigami." Ichigo sighed absently.

"We're not going to change him into a Shinigami." Rukia replied and rested her chin on his head as she breathed in his scent, "We're just going to tell him _we're_ Shinigami and that you're not an analyst doing paperwork."

Ichigo did not say anything. Rukia shifted and her cheek was on his head as she murmured his name.

It was enough that his son could see the Hollows. It was enough that he could see souls. Everything that was right now was enough.

"Rukia… Please return to your gigai. Ken'ichi might be on his way home." Ichigo said and leaned forward towards the table. Rukia's arms around him loosened and she straightened, watching him return to his work and hearing the brush whistle strokes against the parchment. She sighed lightly and took silent steps away from him. She stopped at the door and looked back to see him but he still had his back to her.

Kurosaki Ichigo — her husband, father of their son.

With a deep breath she turned and started towards their room.

---

"Hey, you."

A spiky-haired boy was stopped by three young men in the middle of the street. One hand was in his pocket and the other was holding his bag over his shoulder. He stood firmly as his violet eyes stared with temperament at the taller middle schoolers who were looking at him like he was some prey. The boy raised an eyebrow as the three snickered. If it would help then he should probably say that he was not as patient as his mother.

"If you're just going to show me your teeth, you're wasting my time." He grunted and smirked as he looked away.  
"You're an elementary student, aren't you?" The tallest guy with multi-colored hair nodded at him.

"So what if I am?" he still was looking away and scratched his ear out of boredom. If they were going to beat each other senseless then they should just get on with it already. There were still things he'd want to do and one of those were to go home and eat. His _ojisama_ might pay a visit that day and he really didn't want to miss it for the hell. After all, his Byakuya-ojisama gave him lots of cool things. Come to think of it, this guy's multi-colored hair reminded him much of Abarai-san… and his weird eyebrows. That man needed some fashion sense and pronto!

_Where did Otousan and Byakuya-ojisama meet that man?_

His father had orange hair but orange was orange and red was red. And his father had wonderful hair not like Abarai-san who had one heck of a hair line!

Or was it hair _lines_?

Bangs perhaps?

How does one call those things!

"You see…" a male voice cut through his thoughts and he snapped to attention.

"We'd like to be friends with you." said the fat one as he looked at his other two companions who were smiling as he winked. The boy with jet black hair didn't even bother to answer or look at them but he removed his hand from his ear and sighed heavily.

Friends? Hurray for pep talking then…

"But right now, friend…" said the third middle schooler who walked beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. He looked at said hand and then at the person who owned it. The older male was smiling like a horrible clown at him as he said, "We're kind of financially short so…"

"So get your hands off me and find yourselves a bank." He growled, gripping the older male's hand at the same time and twisting his arm before pushing him away. The middle schooler fumbled forward but caught his balance and the younger boy earned glares from three pairs of eyes.

He was short on allowance this week because he and his father accidentally burned his mother's stuffed bunny's left ear. He could still remember how she cried and he really would have pitied her all the way through if she had not beat them up with freaking dust pan. Dust pans never seemed so scary! How could she turn something like that into a _murder weapon_!

"I don't think you understand, boy." The multi-colored guy said as he cracked his knuckles, "This isn't a request."  
"Ah, sou?" the boy raised an eyebrow and smirked.  
"Yes." Said the fat one, "Now you pull out that cash or…"

The boy glared and a quick foot landed on the fat middle schooler's midsection and his back hit the wall. The two other bullies gasped and the younger boy had not moved from his after-kick pose. He was standing on one foot and one leg was still in the air as he looked casually at the older boy he just kicked. He seemed to have done it with ease. His hand was still in his pocket and he was still holding his bag over his shoulder.

"You little prick!"

A fist was flying towards him but he did not dodge. His cheek met the blow and his body fell on the street. The multi-colored hair guy laughed and straightened as he watched the spiky haired boy get up and rub his cheek.

"You think you're so tough. Who taught you how to dodge? Your _mother_?"  
"Then we should fight his mother, then!"  
"Aww, you gonna run and tell mommy we beat you up so we could kick her ass as well?"

"Tsch, right. And who taught you how to punch? Your dog?" came the sharp reply as the boy tossed his bag aside, "I only had one foot on the ground and you only managed to make me _fall_? I was expecting my body to _fly_! And you call yourselves middle schoolers? Shame on you!"

"Well, why d—"  
"Look, bimbo, I don't really want to talk so if you want to _try_ and beat me up then get on with it already."  
"You asked for it!"

Three older males charged towards him. The boy sighed.

"Too slow." He grunted. He could see the moves before it happened.

He leapt back and kicked off before he kneed one on the face. Still in mid-air, his other leg swung and sent a foot right at the other guy's face. With one to go, he spun and sent a bicycle kick against the third guy's side of the head. He landed with ease and dusted his pants, picked up his bag and said, "I like I said: Too slow."

"Make me use my hands next time and make sure you can stay awake before my feet touch the ground." He eyed the bodies on the street.

"You little prick…" one grunted.

"Stop calling me a prick. I have a name, you know." and he pointed with his thumb at himself and said, "It's Kurosaki Ken'ichi."

"Kuro… sa…"

"Ku-ro-sa-ki Ken-i-chi."

Ken'ichi felt the gentle wind against his raven hair before walking away. Upon remembering something, he stopped and looked back, "I just kicked your asses and my mom kicks mine so imagine what she could do to you."

Ken'ichi shrugged and turned to go as he muttered, "Don't even let me get started talking about my father."

- End of Chapter 1 -

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Author: Kichigai means madness. Yay! Here's the third part of the "Oh My…!" Bleach fan fiction series by yours truly! I have to update something again! Whee! Once again, I look forward to your help! Please help me with your reviews! BANKAI TO US ALL! 


	2. One Hit Each

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Two : One Hit Each**

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Ken'ichi had entered the house as silent as possible. He was careful not to see and be seen by anyone as he searched for his prey. His prey was probably in his lair — thinking, contemplating or perhaps even waiting. Not once had he succeeded to make his fist land where he had wanted to but this time, this time he was not failing. Ken'ichi could still feel the slight throbbing pain on his cheek as he crawled on all fours on the second floor of their house. He triumphantly found the door he was looking for and was surprised to see it open. Had it been left open accidentally or purposely? What did it matter? He was going to get revenge now.

Ken'ichi sprung and sent a kick flying towards the back of an orange-haired person sitting on a chair. He was expecting to feel impact against his feet when all of a sudden, strong and slender fingers grabbed his leg and held him upside down.

"AAH!" Ken'ichi exclaimed in surprise as his father got up, still holding him by the leg as his arms dangled from his body.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Ichigo looked at his son who was desperately trying to bend towards him. The boy realized his hands would not work and his free leg swung to hit again. His father was_still_ faster (and damn it, too) and blocked with an arm.

"OWWW!" Ken'ichi groaned. Was his father's arm made of _steel_? His orange-haired dad just _blocked_ the kick and Ken'ichi did not even see him counter! So why did his leg hurt?

When Ichigo was still just a son, he had his father running across the house and trying to hit him out of random. Now that he was a father, his own _son_ was now trying to hit him out of random! Was Ichigo bound to have one member of the household after him? If Ken'ichi hadn't been his son, Ichigo would've retaliated at all times but he had resorted himself to just blocking and counter attacking since his boy was still full of loop holes. Ken'ichi could not even defend properly so how the heck did he think he could attack?

The best offense is a good defense!

Was it the other way around?

Whatever, something like that.

"Didn't I tell you not to spring at me like that when I'm doing paperwork?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow. The last time his son hit his papers, Yamamoto wanted to burn Ichigo to death upon losing the documents that were due.

Stupid old man was having too much vitamins and maybe even steroids! Somebody should really start giving him tranquilizers or something.

"I wasn't going to hit your stuff!" Ken'ichi reasoned, still trying to arch towards his father.

"You mean you weren't going to hit my things _if_ I didn't dodge!" Ichigo exclaimed, lifting his son higher, "You thought I wouldn't dodge because I'd think you'd hit my things but you didn't even realize I might _catch_ your attack!"

"How did you know I was coming anyway?" Ken'ichi gave up retaliation and spoke flatly as his arms dangled from his body and his hair towards the ground.  
"I have spy cameras around the house."  
"No way." Ken'ichi's eyes widened.

Ichigo didn't answer.

"We have spy cameras?" Ken'ichi blinked as he slightly swiveled from his upside down position.  
"No, you idiot." Ichigo replied, "Why the hell would I buy spy cameras just to watch you slither around the house?"  
"Tsch. I was supposed to have hit you pointblank." Ken'ichi had crossed his arms now.  
"Pointblank?" Ichigo exclaimed at his son and slightly swung him, "You call that pointblank? I'll show you pointblank…!"

Ken'ichi opened his mouth to yell as his father motioned to throw him.

Oh, dear lord, his father was going to—

"ICHIGO!"

Ichigo's face turned to the door but instead of seeing his angry wife, his face met a basin spinning towards him. It hit him with a bang and Ichigo fell on his bottom, releasing his son who fell back first. Ken'ichi blinked.

So_that_ was pointblank!

Ichigo could hear the basin rolling on the floor as he tried to stabilize his senses. A hand flew to his head and he groaned. His son got up immediately and kicked off to pounce at him but Ichigo merely lifted his hand and grabbed the boy's head even before any limbs could touch him. With a quick move, Ichigo sat up and shifted his son into what looked like a head lock.

"AAAAH!" Ken'ichi was trying to retaliate in vain, "LET ME GO!"  
"If you don't want to feel this then make sure next time…"

"ICHIGO!" Rukia glared again and the basin hit the back of Ichigo's head this time. The orange-haired Shinigami Representative yelped, his arms loosening against his son who immediately scampered away from his father. Ichigo rubbed the back of his head and looked at Rukia.

"What is _wrong_ with you, woman!"  
"Didn't I tell you not to be so violent!" Rukia was holding the basin and Ichigo could see his son sit and rub his neck.  
"_I'm_ violent?" Ichigo's eyebrows shot up, "Your son _kicked_ me!"

Ken'ichi's eyes lit up and Ichigo wanted to strangle his son who was now wearing a puppy dog face as he looked up at his mother and said, "I wasn't able to hit him, Oka—"

BAM!

"OW!" Ken'ichi rubbed the back of his head that met his mother's basin. Ken'ichi looked at his father who was snickering at him. Apparently, acting skills did not work on his mother who was a sinister actress herself.

"What did I tell you about causing a ruckus in the house?" Rukia was still threateningly holding the basin and both males scooted away from her. She was frowning at them since she was probably reminded by the incident of her precious Chappy's ears. Rukia glared at Ichigo and then at Ken'ichi but she suddenly stopped upon seeing a bruise on her son's face.

"Ken'ichi, what happened to that?" Rukia pointed and the son blinked, the throbbing feeling on his face returning. Ichigo looked and saw the bruise as well.  
"Have you gotten into a fight?" Ichigo asked without moving from the floor. Rukia released the basin much to Ichigo and Ken'ichi's relief and she sat beside her son to look at the bruise and said, "Your father is asking you something."

"Well…" Ken'ichi was looking mindfully at his mother's fingers across his face, "Kinda."  
"With who?" Ichigo asked again.  
"Dunno. Middle school guys." Ken'ichi shrugged, "They wanted my money and I hate bullies."  
"And why'd you let yourself get hit by middle schoolers?" Ichigo was raising an eyebrow at his son who shrugged again.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia glared at her husband and looked at her son, "How many were they?"  
"Three." Ken'ichi replied.  
"There were only three of them and you got hit!" Rukia exclaimed, "What were you doing? Standing like a log in the middle of the road?"

"When I was your age, I was able to vanquish adults!" Rukia sat down and crossed her arms. Her son blinked. Ichigo rolled his eyes away. Vanquish, eh? She made it sound like she was against monsters.

"Really?"  
"Of course!"

"Yes, yes, of course, with her wonderful childhood friend Abarai Renji." Ichigo lazily yawned, "She holds him up in the air like a torch and lets his sheer red tresses scare the hell out of…"

Ichigo stopped. Rukia was now looking at him… Scarily, in fact.

"And what were _you_ when you were ten?" Rukia raised an eyebrow.  
"Well, I…"  
"Ah, never mind…!" Rukia waved him off and Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. Rukia looked at her son and poked his bruise.  
"Ow, it hurts, Okasan!" the boy complained.

"Aww, my little baby Kii-chan…!" Rukia squealed and threw her hands around her son who gasped at his mother's sudden mushy actions. The boy turned to his father for help but Ichigo was too busy scooting farther away from Rukia before she had any ideas to let them all wear bunny ears and take family pictures… again.

"Okaaaasan, don't call me that anymore!" Ken'ichi complained as he pouted and looked away from his father.  
"And why not? I _am_ your mother, you know."  
"I sound as disgusting as Chappy th…"

Ken'ichi's eyes widened towards his father who mouthed "Wrong move". Ichigo slapped his forehead as Rukia rammed her palm against the bruise on Ken'ichi's face. The boy yelped in pain as his mother tweaked his ear, "What did you say?"

"Okasaaaaaaaan, it hurts!"  
"Very good since it's _supposed_ to hurt!"  
"Rukia…" Ichigo said as he got up, "Isn't Byakuya coming over today?"

"Ara!" Rukia's fingers left the boy's ear and Ken'ichi crawled away from his mother who ran out saying something about food. Ken'ichi wore his eyes wide as he looked at his father who now stooped and looked at him.

"What did I tell you?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.  
"Respect the bunny." Ken'ichi said as he remained on the floor.  
"Because?" Ichigo tilted his head.  
"Because one day bunnies will rule the world."

Ken'ichi pouted.

"When bunnies rule the world, I'm going to kill myself." The boy said thoughtfully.

Ichigo laughed and offered a hand to his son. The boy immediately accepted and the father helped his son up. Ken'ichi winced upon feeling the pain on his cheek and Ichigo neared him to look at it. It wasn't so bad. It was a normal bruise but somehow, Ichigo hated seeing it on his son's face and he wished there had been bruise erasers. Every time he looked at his son, he could see himself.

"You got back at those guys, didn't you?" Ichigo asked without straightening and he shoved his son's hair off his forehead to see if there had been any other damage.  
"Of course." The boy said proudly and allowed his father to probe his face, "Only one of them got one hit and all he did was make me fall."  
"And what about you?" Ichigo took back his hand.  
"Well, I only gave them one hit each…" the boy shrugged and Ichigo straightened as if waiting for him to continue. Ken'ichi looked at his father and said, "They couldn't get up after that."

"That's my boy." Ichigo put a hand on his son's head as he nodded. The boy smiled triumphantly at his father and Ichigo felt like he was seeing his old childish self. He would smile upon seeing his mother. No matter what kind of pain he was feeling, all it took was his mother's image to make him smile again. Ichigo wanted to hug his son for showing him that face because for some reason, Ichigo felt loved. Silly but true. His Ken'ichi must love his mother the same way because Ichigo loved _his_ mother so much.

"Otousan…" Ken'ichi was saying now as they walked out, "Where did you get that saying about the bunnies anyway?"

"It's pretty horrific, actually." Ichigo began as Ken'ichi stepped outside the room and Ichigo pulled the door closed behind them, "Your mother was pregnant for around four to five months and I made the mistake of telling her about how disturbing Chappy the Bunny was. So what she did was she locked herself up in _my_ closet and refused to come out until I appeased her with a bunny."

"Where's the horrific part?" Ken'ichi asked as they started going down the stairs.  
"Well…" Ichigo replied thoughtfully, "Right after I said that thing about Chappy, she slapped me with the first thing she got her hands on."  
"What was that?"  
"I didn't really see because all I heard was her teensy voice screaming." Ichigo shrugged, "Respect the bunny because one day bunnies will rule the world!"

"What are you telling my nephew?"

Ken'ichi's eyes lit up and the boy ran down the stairs and towards his Byakuya-ojisama who had just came in. Rukia was beside her brother and Ichigo continued walking down the stairs.

Lights! Camera! Action!

"Ojisama!" Ken'ichi flashed his world-class smile and bowed.

"How have you been doing?" Byakuya asked as they started towards the living room but then he stopped, seeing the bruise on his nephew's face. Byakuya grabbed the boy's chin and looked at Rukia and then at Ichigo before saying, "What happened to this?"

"I got into a fight, Ojisama." The boy replied as he blinked upon the feeling of his uncle's fingers lifting his face up by the chin.  
"What fight?"  
"He got bullied and he fought back." Ichigo sat down on the couch.  
"And he got hit?" Byakuya raised an eyebrow, "He's your son and he got _hit_? What are you teaching my nephew?"

Byakuya had to stop himself from saying "_You're_ the orange-haired brat fast enough to dodge Senbozakura and your son got _hit_?"

Ichigo looked at Byakuya and immediately imagined that he was only a talking log wearing kenseikan. He did _not_ know what he was talking about. He was just a stuck-up log with no opinion whatsoever. Just a log… He was just a log… A log… A log…

"There were three of them, Ojisama." Ken'ichi said as he blinked, "But I was able to beat them all up."  
"Really?" Byakuya released the boy, "In how many hits?"  
"One each."  
"Very good."

And Ichigo grinned at Byakuya as if to say, "See?"

"Ken'ichi." Rukia was saying now and her voice came from the kitchen, "Come help me carry these for a while."  
"Hai, Okasan!" Ken'ichi replied cheerfully, excused himself and ran off.

Byakuya quietly walked towards the couch and sat on it. The Kuchiki clan leader made it a point to visit his nephew at least once every other week and sometimes even once a week.Ichigo taught Ken'ichi open hand combat. Byakuya, on the other hand, taught Ken'ichi kendo. If anything, Rukia would like to teach her son kidou.

But, no.

Ichigo had always wanted to teach his son shunpo but the circumstances did not allow him to. He would love to see his son in a black haori and hakama. He would love to feel the first wave of reiatsu his son would release. He would love to see and hear his son release his Zanpakutou or, heck, even say Bankai. There were many things about being Shinigami that Ichigo wanted to teach and show and tell his son but there were also many things about it that made Ichigo worry.

Ichigo yawned and was about to say something when Byakuya beat him to it, "Aren't you going to tell him?"

Here we go again.

"No." Ichigo said, "At least not yet."

"He will find out sooner or later." Byakuya continued and both men were not looking at each other, "Several Hollows might find him and try to eat him. If he does not know how to defend himself…"

"The Hollows will not touch him." Ichigo said seriously without looking at the man beside him, "I promised that to myself."

"What if he finds the Hollow?" Byakuya began and Ichigo opened his mouth to say something when the Kuchiki clan leader continued, "The Hollow that is inside?"

Ichigo paused and closed his mouth. It was only then that he took a move to look at Byakuya but the older man was not looking at him. Ichigo felt something sting him.

"That will not happen." Ichigo said as he sat up properly and took his gaze away from Byakuya, "For as long as I keep his powers in check…"  
"You must tell the boy."  
"Not now."  
"He has the right to know who he is."  
"He is my son. That's that."

"Your son with a Shinigami side and perhaps even a Hollow side." It was Byakuya's turn to look at Ichigo who now took out a magazine from under the center table.

"Ichigo, what if his Inner Hollow gets strength before he does?" Byakuya asked, "Have you helped him find resolve? Does he have resolve? Or are you willing to let him fight against his Hollow form just like that?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"On the contrary, it will." Byakuya's voice lowered some more upon hearing Ken'ichi and Rukia approaching, "And when that happens, you have no one but yourself to blame."

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Author: Second chapter! Well… Not much to say. Love you guys! Please read and review! 


	3. Dance of the Swords

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Three : Dance of the Swords**

* * *

"OUCH!" Ken'ichi fell forward and landed chest first. The wooden sword he had been holding flew from his hand and onto the grass. The boy grunted and shook his head to steady himself before getting up as he rubbed his chest.

"See? You're not holding the sword properly." The voice of his ojisama was coming a few paces behind him, "No matter what you do, do not drop the sword."

"Now get up."

Ken'ichi grunted again and picked up his wooden sword. He was trained using bamboo swords when he was five before eventually being taught how to fight using a wooden sword.

"Wooden swords are heavy, Ojisama." Ken'ichi reasoned as he dusted himself. Byakuya frowned and in an instant, he was in front of his nephew who gulped upon feeling the wooden sword on his neck as he dropped his own.

"Real swords are heavier." Byakuya said lowly and coldly, "Now didn't I tell you _not_ to drop the sword?"

"H-hai…" Ken'ichi immediately replied and picked up his sword before Byakuya could resort to hitting him. One more mistake and he was going to get it. Ken'ichi knew his Ojisama would not hesitate to give him a good blow if he didn't pay attention. In fact, even his father would give him hits whenever he didn't pay attention.

Ichigo was watching with Rukia by his side as they sat under a tree in their backyard. Rukia would often climb this tree for the heck but right now, they were sitting under it as they watched Byakuya hone their son's swordsmanship skills.

"Wouldn't you want to teach him that?" Rukia asked Ichigo.

"I never got any formal training." Ichigo replied as he pulled up one knee and put an arm around his wife's shoulders. She moved closer and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his bent leg and placing her chin on his knee.

"Besides, his Zanpakutou is nowhere close to Zangetsu."

Ichigo could clearly remember that blade. Who wouldn't? It was a totally crimson blade from end to end. It was as tall as his son but reverted to a manageable size when sealed. His son had a Shikai. Or was that a Bankai? Whatever it was, Ichigo was sure it was his son's and he was still sure that that Zanpakutou, whatever its name was, was what Ken'ichi will be using in the future… if ever.

Rukia had heard him rattle off about Ken'ichi's Zanpakutou — how it was really long and slender, how it was so red, how it was so cool, how it looked so sharp and how his son pierced Ichigo's Inner Hollow with it. Rukia rarely heard him speak with rush and excitement and she felt like Ichigo _would_ want his son to be Shinigami but was too afraid of losing him. She could not blame him. After all, how many times did they come close to losing her "little baby Kii-chan" when he was just a little butterfly? A few days after Ken'ichi was born, Ichigo would sometimes cry, trying not to let her hear it and she pretended not to. She knew he remembered the times he nearly lost his son to foreign things that weren't exactly normal. Rukia would wrap her arms around him when they slept at night and she would tell him that she loved him and that she was glad that she was the mother of his child. His responses varied and he sometimes smiled and kissed her. Other times, he would just hug her back. But whatever action he took, he would always end up saying, "I love you and Ken'ichi. You don't know how much."

"When the time comes, may I teach him kidou?" Rukia asked as she watched her son swing his sword against his uncle who was effortlessly stepping away.

"You mean you _better_ teach him kidou and make sure he doesn't suck like Renji." Ichigo pouted thoughtfully, "I mean, seriously, we were in the middle of the darkness and we really needed light and Renji goes like 'leave it to me' and does his stupid kidou."

Rukia laughed.

"Yes, I remember that…" Rukia rubbed her cheek against Ichigo's knee as she giggled, "Renji sucks at kidou."  
"If it had been me, I would've died on the spot after Uryuu's little witty comment." Ichigo said.

"_Wow. What an immensely tiny glow._" They chorused and for a while they paused before breaking in soft laughter.

"OW!" Ken'ichi had now fallen back, releasing his weapon. Byakuya frowned and inched forward before hitting Ken'ichi's side. The boy yelped and looked at his arm before rubbing it. Rukia had gasped upon this action from her brother but she did not say anything.

"Pick up your sword." Byakuya ordered. Ken'ichi frowned at his uncle but didn't say anything. Byakuya noticed the glint in his eyes. He had seen those eyes before.

"I said pick up your sword." Byakuya said again.

Ken'ichi grabbed his sword and heavily got up but at the same time kicked off and lunged with his sword at Byakuya. The Captain did not even blink as he simply stepped away and tapped Ken'ichi with his sword.

"Too reckless."

"Urgh." Ken'ichi grunted again before twisting to give another swing at Byakuya. His Ojisama simply blocked his attack and with his unchanging facial expression, he muttered, "I said you're too reckless."

"Aw, come on!" Ken'ichi roared and threw his sword in frustration, "Why do I have to do this! It's not like I'm going to have to live in the Edo period to begin with!"

Ichigo fidgeted and Rukia noticed but he did not seem to care.

"Pick up your sword." Byakuya ordered in his usual tone.  
"Why?" Ken'ichi sat on the grass.

"Because I said so." Byakuya's face was not changing but the boy insisted on pouting. His uncle was still looking at him with an ice-cold stare that forced him to get up. Ken'ichi started towards his wooden sword and looked at it but did not pick it up. Byakuya waited but did not say anything. Ken'ichi stood looking at the sword before looking at his uncle. Seeing that dear Byakuya-Ojisama was not going to change his mind, Ken'ichi sighed heavily and picked up his sword before loosely returning to his stance.

"Do not treat your sword with reckless abandon." Byakuya said.  
"It's not like it's alive."

"Ken'ichi!" Ichigo called and the boy looked at his frowning father, "Don't talk like that."  
"But Otousan…"  
"Ken'ichi!"

It was a glare. A real glare. And Ken'ichi knew better than to make his father glare.

"G-gomen…" the boy said silently.

Ichigo was still frowning and got up and started towards his son. Rukia watched with her eyes as Ichigo stood before his son. He grabbed the wooden sword off Ken'ichi's fingers before shoving him to the side and facing Byakuya. The noble raised an eyebrow at him and Ichigo told his son, "Make sure you watch _everything_, Ken'ichi."

"Ichigo…" Rukia murmured to herself as her son stepped back and nodded.

Byakuya's head tilted and Ichigo nodded at him. In one go, the two charged towards each other. Byakuya came from below and Ichigo swung from above. The two swords met in a clacking sound and the boy gasped. Both men withdrew. Ichigo thrust his sword at Byakuya who sidestepped and motioned to strike from behind. For a moment, Ichigo looked like he was open and Ken'ichi gulped as he saw the wooden sword coming at his father. But all he did was blink and the next thing he knew, Ichigo had swung up in retaliation and both men pivoted with one foot and then there was another clack.

Swords met.

And then silence.

Both men were looking at each other in the eye and neither had budged from their stances. Rukia was watching silently and Ken'ichi was in awe. They were almost breathing in tune with every swing of their swords. Everything was replaying in the boy's head. There had been no battle cries, only the sound of the clashing swords and their feet against the ground.

Ichigo and Byakuya straightened and bowed at each other. Ichigo then looked at his son who was wearing his eyes wide and his mouth open. Huffing a little, Ichigo handed the sword to his son but the boy did not take it.

"Otousan, I never knew you were so good in using a sword!" the boy exclaimed. Ichigo gasped but the boy did not stop talking, "Why won't you be the one to teach me, Otousan?"

"I'm already teaching you open hand." Ichigo insisted the sword on Ken'ichi but still the boy did not take it.

"But Otousan, I want to learn the sword from you, too!" Ken'ichi's violet eyes were shining in excitement as he gripped his father's hand instead of the sword, "Wouldn't it be cool if you taught me the sword!"

"Ne, Okasan?" Ken'ichi was asking his mother but was still looking at his father's alarmed face, "You were wonderful, Otousan! You and Ojisama… You looked like you were… you were… dancing, Otousan! Dancing! Yes, that's what it is!"

"And the wooden swords seemed to talk!" Ken'ichi continued, "As if the swords were a part of your body!"

Zanpakutou.

Ichigo looked at the excited face of his son. Had he made a mistake? Rukia got up and walked towards the father and son. Ichigo was not speaking and his mouth was partly open, slightly moving as if wanting to say something but couldn't.

"Ken'ichi…" Rukia began and the boy spun with a skip towards her.  
"Did you see him, Okasan!" His face was beaming, his eyes were lively and his smile... Rukia had never seen him smile like this before and she was unable to say anything.

"Otousan was… Otousan was…" Ken'ichi began and grabbed the sword from Ichigo and began imitating every move he saw. Ichigo stared at his son. Ken'ichi moved surely but not perfectly.

Lower your hips. Shift your weight. Hold your sword like this.

So many things Ichigo wanted to say. But he remained standing, watching his Ken'ichi swing his sword. His son was saying something but Ichigo did not seem to hear. The boy ran to his uncle and pulled him towards the center before running back to his father and handing him the sword and saying, "Do it again, Otousan!"

"W-what?" Ichigo snapped to attention and blinked at Ken'ichi who was holding the handle towards him. Ken'ichi was grinning at him but Ichigo could not bring himself to move at all.

"Please, Otousan, do it again!" Ken'ichi took Ichigo's hand and wrapped his fingers around the sword, "I want to see you do it again!"

Ichigo's gaze shifted faultily from his son and then to Rukia and then to Byakuya who was still holding the wooden sword. His mouth was still partly open as he turned again to Rukia who bit her lip.

"Ken'ichi, Otousan's tired." Rukia began.  
"What? No!" Ken'ichi shook his head and took his father by the hand, "Otousan's too cool to be tired!"

Ichigo gasped again and Rukia slowly lifted her eyes towards her husband. He was trying not to shake. He felt Ken'ichi's fingers around his hand. The feeling was warm and the boy squeezed once in a while.

"You look tired yourself, Ken'ichi." Byakuya was saying now as he walked towards Ichigo, "That's enough for today."

Ken'ichi sported Rukia's pout. Ichigo wanted to smile but couldn't.

"Otooouuuusaaaaaannn…" Ken'ichi pleaded, tugging Ichigo's hand, "Just one last time. I know you're not tired yet."

Ichigo wasn't budging. Ken'ichi grunted and stomped towards Byakuya and took the wooden sword in his hand. Ichigo gasped when all of a sudden, his son swung at him. In his dazed state, Ichigo's instinct kicked in and he blocked with more effort than required. Ken'ichi's eyes widened with impact as he balanced himself from the recoil. But with as little delay as possible, Ken'ichi swung again and Ichigo dodged. The boy fumbled forward and fell chest first, the sword hitting his face.

"Ken'ichi!" Ichigo gasped. The boy groaned and sat up, rubbing his face. Ichigo dropped the sword and crouched beside his son.

"Ke—OW!"

To Ichigo's surprise, Ken'ichi whacked him with a sword. Ichigo blinked and registered the events. Ken'ichi whacked him again… and again… and again…

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Ichigo grabbed the wooden weapon away from the boy's hands.  
"Why won't you fight back!" Ken'ichi pointed at his father, "And didn't you know that you're not supposed to treat your sword with reckless abandon!"

Byakuya allowed himself a short smile. At least the boy was learning something from him.

"And why didn't you ever tell me you could use a sword!" Ken'ichi lunged at his father and Ichigo caught him and fell on his back.  
"Why would I? Did you ask?"

The boy pulled on his father's cheeks and Ichigo pulled on the sides of his son's mouth. They were still talking but nobody could understand what they were saying and Rukia doubted that the father understood the son and vice-versa. She could hear them say something like "Chappy the Bunny" but the words were too ribbed for her to understand what they were actually saying about her precious bunny. But knowing them, it was probably something not pleasing.

Ken'ichi was now pinned to the ground as he lay on his stomach and his father pushing against him. Ken'ichi growled and desperately kicked and he cursed at his father's strength. Someday he was growing up but today wasn't it yet.

"Who do you think you are whacking me with a sword like that!" Ichigo yelled.  
"I'm your son, who the heck else do you think!" Ken'ichi yelled back and Ichigo twisted his arm. The boy yelped and wriggled but the more he struggled to free himself, the more painful it was.  
"Yeah, and I'm your father, no less!" Ichigo shouted back.  
"Okaaaassaaaaaan!" the boy wailed for his mother who's eyebrows shot up, "Is _this_ what I get for wanting to learn kendo from Otousan!"

The boy was half-wailing but Ichigo knew it was sure as hell it was faked. He twisted some more and the boy cried out for his mother again. Ichigo grunted and pushed against his son. The boy's cries were getting louder.

"Is it a _crime_ to want to spend time with your father!" Ken'ichi wailed in his innocent young boy's voice that was about to be on equal to Rukia's innocent high school girl's voice. That was going to pierce Rukia somehow and he could feel her moving.

"Why does my name have the word 'sword' in it when my own father detests teaching me the way of the—"  
"Stop screaming or I'm going to go Bankai on your—"

Ichigo stopped. Rukia gasped. Byakuya, in the rare times he did, was smiling ever so devilishly.

The boy stopped wriggling and acting and his body relaxed. Ichigo could swear his heart had stopped as he looked at his son's head slowly turned towards him. There was a gleam in his eyes both full of question and excitement. The boy opened his mouth to ask something. Ichigo knew very well what it was.

"What's Bankai?"

WAP!

Ichigo slapped the back of his son's head in surprise. The boy's face met the ground and he held onto his head. What was with his father and his sudden surge of energy?

"What did I _say_!" the boy was raising an eyebrow as he groaned, his chin on the ground and not daring to struggle lest his father would hit him somewhere again.  
"I said 'banzai', fool!" Ichigo shot back.  
"Call me a fool but I'm not deaf!" the boy reasoned as he ducked his head between his shoulders, "You said Bankai!"  
"No, I didn't!"  
"Yes, you did!"  
"I said I didn't!"

"BANKAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIII!" Ken'ichi screamed louder.  
"Come on, Otousan, it wouldn't make sense if you threatened to go 'hurray' on my ass!"

Byakuya was shaking his head as he watched the argument between the father and son. Ichigo was red in full embarrassment now and Rukia was giggling.

"BANKAI! BANKAI! BANKAI! BANKAI! BANKAI! BANKAI!"  
"Shut up!"

"I'm going to keep saying it until you tell me what it is!" Ken'ichi insisted but all of a sudden, he stopped. Ichigo blinked and so did Ken'ichi. The raven-haired little Ichigo replica then gasped and looked at his father and said, "Otousan, is it one of your porn terms?"

Oh, the gods forgive him but Kurosaki Ichigo's name was never associated with porn or perversion.

Unless you ask Rukia, of course but that's another story.

With a grunt, Ichigo got up and pulled his son to his feet. Ichigo picked up the wooden swords that were lying on the ground. After tossing one to Ken'ichi, Ichigo walked towards his son and said, "You want to know what a Bankai is? I'll show you what a Bankai is."

"Really?" the boy's face lit up.  
"Yes and it means run or I'm going to beat you senseless!" Ichigo shouted back.

"What?" Ken'ichi blinked and his eyes widened as he saw his father come at him. The boy gasped and began to run away. Rukia shook her head and was surprised to find her Niisama beside her with his arms over his chest and saying, "At least he's not letting go of the sword."

"What did I tell you about god damn porn, you idiot!"  
"Kyaaaa! OTOUSAN! I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!"

Ken'ichi immediately headed for his mother and grabbed her before hiding behind her small body as he held onto her waist. Rukia looked at her son and then at an upcoming Ichigo. Her husband stepped to the right and her son shifted her between them. The boy's nails were going to dig into her flesh from all the chasing they were doing and if Ichigo hit her with that kendo stick, she did not know what she'd do to him.

"Stop hiding behind your mother!"

Human shield.

"I said I take back about the porn already!"

Wonderful.

"If I get damaged in the middle of your warfare, so help me, I'm going to stitch Chappy the Bunny prints on all of your clothes!"

That was as good as "Drop dead now" and Ken'ichi immediately released his mother and Ichigo lowered the sword. The last time she said this, they thought she didn't mean it but imagine their horror to find their god damn underwear stitched with a freaky smiling bunny on it!

"But still…" Ken'ichi smiled, "I'm going to find out what Bankai is."

The son threw a fist in the air and shouted, "BELIEVE IT!"

BAM!

Ichigo's elbow buried itself in Ken'ichi's head.

"Darn it, Ken'ichi, you're reading too much manga!"

* * *

Author: Again, I am sincerely shocked to have seen 67 reviews in two chapters. You flatter me, people. I'm glad you read and review. Thanks a lot. This was supposed to be up earlier today but my computer's throwing a fit and it took several seconds before an entire sentence could appear so imagine how long it took me to save. But my compy's fine now that I'm writing the freaking author's notes. Yarg. Thanks for all the reviews! I love you all and Bankai to us all! Woot! 


	4. When A Spoon Meets A Fork

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Four : When A Spoon Meets A Fork**

* * *

Rukia was on the verge of releasing her Zanpakutou and freezing the hell out of the three men in her house. Byakuya had already gone home and dear uncle was replaced with dear old grandpa who was now trying to strangle her husband in the living room. She could hear Ken'ichi joining them and she was really being ticked off by how these men were trying to kill each other inside her house. Rukia did not know what or how to feel about her father-in-law's "affectionate" ways. He had gotten ten years older and it was understandable for him to have his hair dyed from the silvery strands that were coming out. And yet, Rukia could not bring herself to understand how a normal human being could still kick around like he hadn't aged at all. If one day she found out Isshin was Shinigami, she did not know if she would be surprised.

"Sorry you have to put up with my father, Rukia-oneesan." A 20-year old Yuzu was standing beside Rukia who was busily chopping vegetables. She had grown into a fine, innocent (or was it oblivious) lady with long honey blonde hair.

"Men don't grow up, do they?" Karin complained as she frowned on the kitchen table. The girl was still tough as ever and wore her long black tresses up in a ponytail. Rukia nodded and Karin looked at her, "Should I clam them up, Rukia-oneesan?"

"Let them be." Rukia waved as she spoke in her normal voice. Karin had built a sense of respect for Rukia ever since she realized that the girl was not a pink and frilly one. In ten years, they had spent some time talking to each other and Rukia had told her how much she had been around males and how sometimes, they could be such airheads. But in ten years, Ichigo and Rukia never told Ichigo's family that they were both Shinigami. Karin was somehow grateful that her brother and his wife cared enough not to get them into trouble. But, woohoo! The woman her brother married was a Shinigami with a white sword! And she kicks his ass! How cool could that be!

"Oh, we're out of soy sauce." Yuzu was saying now, "I should go to Urahara-san's and…"

"No, I'll go." Karin pushed herself up. She knew better than to have her twin sister be seen by that stupid red-haired Jinta. The boy had grown up and who the hell knows if his hormones had been bugging him to do something to Yuzu.

"No, no." Rukia wiped her hands on her apron, "You're the guests. Let's ask Ken'ichi to go."

Karin shrugged. That would lessen the noise to an extent.

"Kii-chan…!" Yuzu called and her nephew groaned about his nickname. Heavy feet padded towards the kitchen and a frowning Ken'ichi with messed up hair looked at the three females.

"Would you please be a good boy and buy soy sauce from Urahara-san?" Yuzu smiled. The boy was looking flatly at her.  
"Obasan, please stop calling me Kii-chan." The boy complained as his mother handed him some money.  
"But Kii is such a cute name."  
"I'm not cute, obasan." Ken'ichi pouted.  
"Oh, yes you are…!" Yuzu was now pinching his cheek, "You look just like Oniichan even when you frown!"  
"Ichi-nii was never cute." Karin yawned and Rukia giggled.

Of course not because Ichigo was damn _sexy_!

Wait, not the right place. Erase. Erase.

The boy shrugged and turned to go saying, "You stay put, Otousan! When I come back, ojiisan and I will beat you to a pulp!"  
"Or die trying." Karin commented again.  
"Right on, grandson!"  
"Shut up and stay _away_ from me!"

Ken'ichi took off in his bike. His aunt did tell him to go to Urahara's but the boy was too lazy to pedal that far. Instead, he opted to go to Hirohyaku Supermarket, which was just a bridge away. After all, the items in Urahara's store were cheap only if certain circumstances are met and that being Yuzu buying from Jinta. Clearly, Ichigo and Karin did not like how the redhead was acting towards his very feminine aunt. Ken'ichi couldn't care less… or so. How could he understand? He was an only child and he didn't have cousins to interact with. Aside from the other kids in school or the neighborhood, Ken'ichi did not have any mutual blood connection between any other children of his age bracket.

Maybe if he had a younger brother or sister, he'd understand.

DING!

Light bulb of idea lit up for the raven-haired Kurosaki boy!

His father was twenty-six and his aunts were both twenty. It meant his Otousan had two little sisters when he was _six_! And here he was, ten years of age, with not even a pet to be with! If he had a brother or a sister then at least he'd have a tag team partner whenever he had to pounce on dear orange-head daddy. And he'd have someone to talk to and he'd have someone to spar with and… and… and… The list went on. Ken'ichi wanted to feel mortified!

After a few minutes of walking down the aisles in search of the soy sauce and another few minutes of waiting for his turn just to pay for a single stupid soy sauce bottle (the woman before him seemed to have bought every item in the store), Ken'ichi pedaled home. He was rattling off names in his head. His aunts could call his sibling Kii-chan and the hell would he be relieved to be rid of a cutesy name! After all, he was a _man_…

But that didn't mean he wasn't his mother's baby.

And so, armed with confidence, theories, facts and hopes and dreams, Ken'ichi swallowed up his food and at dinner, he broadly announced, "I want a baby brother!"

There was a sound of falling utensils across the room and Ichigo choked and literally fell out of his seat as Rukia's mouth flung open. She had been pouring a glass of water for Ichigo but now that it was overflowing, she didn't seem to notice. Isshin was smiling and Karin rolled her eyes away upon seeing the enthusiastic reaction of her father.

"What?" Yuzu was the first to speak. Rukia gasped upon noticing the water spill and proceeded to wipe it off as Ichigo got back teary-eyed to his seat.

"I said…" Ken'ichi began.

"Where did you get this idea?" Ichigo asked and cleared his throat as his eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.

"Why are you asking, Ichigo? It's a _brilliant_ idea!" Isshin clapped and slithered the way he used to towards Ichigo who was inching away as his father's nose flared, "Besides, you're going to like it, too and you know it."  
"Leave that spot in the next three seconds or I will scalp you." Ichigo glared and held up a fork, "I will scalp you with _this_, old man so get moving!"

Isshin snickered and hurried to his daughter-in-law's side, holding her by the shoulders as he ushered her beside Ichigo.

"What about you, Rukia-chan, what do you think?"  
"Ara?" Rukia smiled faintly and looked at Ichigo for back up but found him busy with spaghetti.

"Okasan, I want a baby brother." Ken'ichi was pouting with his spaghetti sauce infested face and he proceeded to stick a fork worth of spaghetti in his mouth. Rukia took a table napkin and walked up to her son who was now busily puckering up to draw in the noodle down his mouth.

"Ken'ichi, it's not that easy, you know." Rukia said as he dabbed the table napkin onto the stray sauce on her son's face, "A baby is a big responsibility."  
"Why? Did you have such a hard time bringing me into this world?" Ken'ichi was asking innocently and Ichigo immediately gobbled up the water beside him to prevent him from choking.

Was that actually a question?

Ichigo immediately reminisced the days Rukia would hit him and bully him and order him around for her urges, which were too random. He remembered walking down the road at freaking 3:00 AM just to find a tree tall enough to scale only to sit on a branch that was going to break in the next few minutes! And that didn't include the rain of Adjuchas and lots of angsting! And here was his oblivious son, wanting his parents to undergo one hell of another torture!

Where is the mercy!

"Not really." Rukia replied.

Not really? Ichigo was raising an eyebrow at her. Or did he have to remind her how the 24-hour convenience store crew had _familiarized_ with him thanks to his out-of-the-blue trips? Besides, since when had been child birth easy for women? Not unless Urahara did something to the gigai.

"It's quite complicated." Ichigo began.  
"How complicated?" Ken'ichi blinked as his mother finished wiping the mess on his face.

"Well, you see…" Ichigo scratched his head, groping for words to say as he smirked. His son continued to blink at him. Seeing that his father could not bring himself to say anything helpful to his ideals, Ken'ichi spoke, "It's relatively easy, isn't it? I leave you alone for a couple of hours, days or nights and the next thing I know, I'm going to be a big bro. Isn't that right, grandpa?"

All heads turned to Isshin who was proudly giving a thumbs-up "hell yeah" sign to his grandson. Ichigo wanted to claw his father's eyes out or pluck his teeth out with pliers. What horrors did this man feed his son's innocent mind? Ichigo had been exposing his son to Byakuya to earn some graceful etiquette to say the least! Had all his efforts been in vain?

"That's not actually how it goes." Ichigo scratched his head again and sent a glare towards his father so as not to encourage the little boy.  
"Just how much do you know about making babies, Ken'ichi?" Karin asked and Ichigo felt like he had to pick up his jaw from the floor.  
"Well…" Ken'ichi rubbed his chin and fidgeted as if looking for something.  
"What are you looking for?" Rukia blinked.  
"I need a board and markers." Ken'ichi smiled at his mother who proudly smiled back. Ichigo groaned. Why wasn't the hurting stopping yet?

"Can't you just explain without drawing?" Ichigo frowned.

"It's like this. This is a… a… a… a boy." Ken'ichi held up a fork. Ichigo wanted to smack himself. Who had been teaching his son these things!

"And this is a… girl!" Ken'ichi lifted up a spoon. Rukia was watching with wide eyes and Karin was dumbstruck. Yuzu was watching intently as Isshin nodded in approval. Ichigo still wanted to smack the nightmare that was "visual aids a la Ken'ichi".

"So we put them together." Ken'ichi put the spoon and fork side by side on the table and covered it with a table napkin, "And then we leave them alone and undisturbed in a dark and closed area for a certain period of time."

"And when you open the door, there's a baby?" Karin was raising an eyebrow.

"Actually, no, you don't see results until several weeks or months later." Ken'ichi crossed his arms, "So that really makes things quite confusing because I really don't know much about the part where the sperm cell meets the egg cell."

Rukia wanted to faint and Ichigo smacked his forehead on the table as his hands gripped his hair. What kind of people was his son exposed to! His son had turned into something like _this_ and he didn't know it.

"Where did you learn that?" Ichigo said lowly without moving from his position.  
"I combined what I heard from ojisama and ojiisan." Ken'ichi replied. The boy did not seem to know the confusion he had stirred up.

Byakuya and Isshin… Ichigo did not want to imagine the "happy humping bunnies" scene from ten years ago in the corridor where stupid rabbits made him shout shamelessly like a pervert.

"So just tell me how long I have to leave you and Okasan so that you can make me a baby brother."  
"My grandson is so bright!" Isshin cried and pulled out a picture from his wallet and pointed, "Masaki, did you hear how our grandson discussed the wonderful art of baby making?"

Wonderful art of what?

Karin was choking on steak now.

"Otousan!" Ken'ichi implored and Ichigo slowly lifted his head off the table to look at his very eager son.  
"Ken'ichi, you don't have to leave the house for you to get a baby brother." Yuzu said with pink on her cheeks. She was fumbling with her fingers, unsure of what she should say.  
"Really?"  
"Yes, you just have… to… not… disturb them… when they're… suspiciously alone…"

Yuzu faintly smiled and Karin raised an eyebrow at her. Isshin nodded and patted his daughter proudly for being able to express herself. Ichigo groaned and Rukia had sunken back to her chair.

"Suapiciously alone…" Ken'ichi rubbed his chin, "I wonder why they have to be so alone? What is it that they can't do out in the open."

No one was answering.

"Did it have anything to do with the so-called positioning?"

Rukia gasped and Karin had lost interest in spaghetti.

"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING MY SON!" Ichigo got up from his seat and sent his father a right hook.

"W-w-w-what… positions… exactly…?" Rukia gulped.  
"The stars." Ken'ichi blinked innocently and Ichigo looked at his supposedly innocent Ken'ichi.

"The…" Yuzu began.  
"The stars?" Karin was not sure if she was supposed to feel relief or pity.

"Yes, Abarai-san said it had something to do with the positioning of the stars to get a boy or a girl."

_God, damn it, Renji. If I get my hands on you, I'm going to knot you with your Bankai!_

"So are you going to grant me a baby brother or not?" Ken'ichi asked in a tone full of Kuchiki Byakuya. Ichigo was looking at his son and Rukia had obviously changed color as she bit her handkerchief and pulled on its ends.

"You had little twin sisters when you were six. It's unfair since I'm ten and I'm still an only child."

Ichigo knew Byakuya was rubbing off on his son somehow. Although he should be amazed with how his son was able to deduce things and connect different information from different sources (and that is without exposure to Mayuri), Ichigo could not help but feel awkward.

"Why should you have a little brother?" Ichigo asked as he straightened, "I was responsible when I was ten and…"  
"You were?" Isshin blinked. Ichigo kicked him in the face.  
"I was taken to a dojo to learn karate when I was four." Ichigo began.  
"But Tasuki-chan always—" Isshin was supposed to say something until Ichigo glowered menacingly at him. Surprisingly, he piped down.

"I want you to learn as much as you can from your ojisama and me." Ichigo continued, "And when you're able to defend yourself, I'll get you a baby brother."  
"Why?" Ken'ichi frowned, "I doubt grandpa gave you such a deal before you had little sisters."  
"Exactly!" Isshin popped out.

"Listen, you're not in the position to make demands." Ichigo explained as he leaned forward, "_I_ call the shots and you're going to have a baby brother when _I_ see fit."  
"Oh,_you_?" Rukia was raising an eyebrow at him, "So _now_ you can make a baby on your own? What are you? Some kind of asexual Hol—thing?"  
"What?" Ichigo straightened, "Like you could do it alone, too."  
"No, but I never said I could decide alone _when_ I want to do it." She frowned, "If I don't want to, you can't do anything about it."  
"Ah, sou?"  
"Sou."

"I like where this conversation is going!" Isshin was spinning around the dining room and Karin leaned back. Why couldn't family dinners just be _normal_ once in a while? Oh, wait. This is the Kurosaki family. This _is_ how they define normal.

Why don't they just skip the freaking explanation part and give the freaking kid a sibling or a dog?

"You should start with a dog." Karin said.  
"Dogs don't talk." Ken'ichi reasoned.

Yoruichi crossed Ichigo's mind.

"I want a baby brother… or a baby sister... Doesn't matter. Just give me a baby."  
"Meet my standards and you will have one." Ichigo told his son.  
"_Your_ standards? What about _my_ standards?"  
"You_have_ no standards."  
"WHAT!"

Karin rolled her eyes away. Why did her nephew have to learn open hand combat and swordsmanship to begin with? It's not like…

Wait a second.

Could her nephew be a Shinigami?

"Come on, I even thought about naming my little bro or sis Kii already!" Ken'ichi groaned, "Why are you making life so hard for me! I just want a baby!"  
"Unless your father learns how to talk to me properly, cancel out the baby or the baby making process for that matter." Rukia was glaring at Ichigo.  
"You midget." Ichigo glared back.

Karin sighed deeply.

A Shinigami spouse for her?

Crossed out.

- End of Chapter 4 -

* * *

Author: I was so eager to type this down that I had forgotten to each breakfast and lunch… So _that's_ why were fingers were shaking! I wrote a dinner scene (or so) over an empty stomach! Thank you for continuously reading and I'm glad to see those reviews coming! I love you guys! Read and Review! Bankai to us all!

Now excuse me as I get myself something to munch on. SUGAR RUSH!


	5. Where Art Thou, My RomeWOAH!

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Five : Where Art Thou, My RomeWOAH!**

* * *

Not here.

Not here.

Not here.

Where is it!

Ichigo scratched his head heavily after rummaging drawer after drawer in search for the ever so wonderful red bracelet Matsumoto had given him and Rukia on their wedding day. He did not see why she was giving him the cold shoulder after tucking Ken'ichi to bed. The boy had promised not to disturb them in their bedroom until he gets his baby brother or sister — whichever the stars chose (damn Renji for that). After that, Rukia had refused to talk to him or even _look_ at him. He was not a patient man and who knows if he ever will be but receiving the cold shoulder from his wife was really uncalled for.

Now where's that darn bracelet!

Ichigo heard someone coming towards their room and immediately, he lay on the bed, pretending to read Shakespeare. The door opened and in came his wife in her Chappy the Bunny bathrobe. She walked in and he peeked from under the book. She had done nothing to acknowledge his_existence_ in the room and he was getting annoyed from being ignored. Ichigo had never cared about being popular but when your wife ignores you without you knowing why the hell, that was an entirely different story!

Rukia was looking at the mess Ichigo had made out of the drawers. He had intentionally left it like that so that she might talk to him about it but, no. She did not even look at him. Instead, she walked up to the clutter and began to arrange it. Ichigo wanted to groan. Women were so hard to understand. Why was she so _angry_!

"Oh, Romeo, my Romeo, where art thou my Romeo…" Ichigo was reading aloud lines… Oh, holy shit! He wasn't holding Romeo and Juliet! It was damn Macbeth! No reason to fret. She barely knew anything about Shakespeare and Ichigo pushed himself up, pulling up his knees and resting the book on his legs.

"Deny thy father or refuse thy name…"

Ichigo looked. She was still ignoring him.

"…Or, if thou will not…"

Rukia still fixing the drawers.

"…Be but sworn by my love…"

This_must_ work.

"…And I shall no longer be Kuchiki."

Ichigo's eyes quickly lifted from the book he was pretending to read. Rukia was not reacting at all. What? Had she plugged her ears with corks or cotton balls? That or Shakespeare was not appealing to her at all. Curse the Kuchiki way of "you-can't-guess-what-I'm-thinking"! Wasn't there a law against that or something! What did God create your facial muscles for if you weren't going to use it to begin with!

"Shall I hear more…?" Ichigo rattled on as he looked at Rukia from the corner of his eye, "…Or shall I speak at this?"

_Speak, Rukia! You should freaking speak!_

"I love Shakespeare." Ichigo sighed out as his arms fell and he closed his eyes, "But not as much as I love my wife."

If Ichigo hadn't closed his eyes, he could've seen a calculator coming towards him.

"OW!" Ichigo yelped as the calculator bounced off his forehead. He sat up and looked at Rukia who was looking at him. She still wore that Kuchiki woodblock face but at least she was looking at him now.

"What was that for!" Ichigo complained as he rubbed her forehead.

Rukia did not answer.

"Why the hell are you ignoring me!" Ichigo glared. She glared back.

"Don't you have _rules_ about respecting your husband!" Ichigo complained as he set "Romeo and Juliet" (which was "Macbeth") to one side.

"We do. But we also have rules about respecting the _wife_." That was a semi-glare she released back there.  
"What are you talking about?"

"This evening, what you showed everyone at dinner was clearly disrespectful." Rukia said in her Kuchiki posture. Ichigo's mouth had slightly fallen open. So that was it? The "you don't have a say in baby making" issue?

"Okay, about that…" Ichigo sighed and scratched his head, "Let me exp—"

"There is nothing to explain. I have heard enough." Rukia said in her serious Shinigami voice. Ichigo groaned her name but she just got up and walked away as she undid the knot on her bathrobe before removing it, revealing a spaghetti strapped top and small shorts that he could've sworn were not reaching her thigh! He had already summed up what he was going to do when she got to bed when, to his surprise, Rukia opened the closet door and began fixing it.

Ichigo's eyes widened. He could be wrong but…

"What are you doing?" he blinked at her.  
"What does it look like?" she said again, "I'm preparing to go to bed."

Rukia had lined up something on the bottom of their closet and Ichigo wanted to swear a hundred times as she climbed up.

"Rukia!" Ichigo jumped out of bed and his hand stopped the door before Rukia could slide it shut. For all he knew, she might have put _locks_ in it just like how she had done with his previous bedroom closet!

Rukia opened her mouth to say something when she gasped upon finding him climbing into the closet with her! He had pushed her in before she could complain and Rukia wanted to hit him for squeezing her between his body and the walls. But it was too late. Ichigo had slid the door closed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Rukia was struggling for some space.  
"Going to bed. What does it look like, you midget?" Ichigo lay on his side facing her, "Budge, woman, you're taking up space!"  
"I'm wha—" Rukia's words were cut when Ichigo flipped her so that she was on her side and facing him as well.

"Okay, let's go to sleep." Ichigo yawned.

Rukia felt a vein pop on her head. She would have punched Ichigo in the gut but their cramped position did not allow her to do so. What was he thinking? It was pretty dark so Rukia could barely see what Ichigo looked like.

"Get out of the closet, Ichigo!" Rukia demanded as she pushed against him.  
"Hey, this is my closet, too, you know!" Ichigo replied as he scratched his head, "Don't move too much already!"  
"The space in here is not enough for the both of us!" Rukia was pushing his face. Ichigo growled and bit her finger.

"OW!" Rukia pulled away and unintentionally elbowed Ichigo in the process. The orange-haired husband grunted as he rubbed his nose.

"You_bit_ me, you fool!"  
"Where?"

"HERE!" Rukia held her finger in front of his face. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw him open his mouth. She drew in air so she could scream but was even more surprised when his lips gently puckered around her finger and started licking it as his hand came up to touch hers. Rukia stifled a gasp upon feeling his tongue gently moving against her skin.

Not good.

"Feel better now?" She could see his eyes looking at her but she insisted on maintaining the frown on her face as she pulled her hand back. Rukia mumbled and motioned to flip to her other side so that her back was facing him but Ichigo wrapped his limbs around her and held her against him.

"Ichigo...!" Rukia complained.  
"What? Don't ask me to get a damn pillow outside since it's just going to take up much needed space in here!"

Rukia grunted. Ichigo smiled to himself. This was good. He could feel her skin against his and her smoothness was always a good thing to him and he occupied himself with smelling her hair. Rukia always smelled as good as ever even when she was just out of the kitchen. Ichigo did not know why. He was always keen with nearly everything that had something to do with his wife and he had convinced himself that even if she tried going in disguise, he'd still distinguish her in one way or another. Even when she wore perfume, he could still catch a whiff of her natural scent, which smelled better than perfume and was one of the best aphrodisiacs on earth… at least for him.

Being in such a small space with her made him reminisce the days they had ten years ago. He had never experienced pulling her in a dark alley or a dark corner of somewhere to make out with her simply because he had respected her enough not to. But now that she was his wife, getting naughty in a closet was not actually bad or wrong or perverse, yes?

"ICHIGO!" she suddenly exclaimed at him as she pushed against his leg.  
"What?" Ichigo looked at her.  
"YOU HORNY PERVERT!" Rukia was holding herself back from screeching but even in the dimness of the area, Ichigo could somehow see her blush.  
"What did I do to you?" He asked.

"What are _you_ thinking about _me_!" She was glaring. He couldn't see it properly but she was glaring at him. Ichigo blinked. Was she able to hear him _think_? And when Ichigo did not answer, Rukia gestured for him to look down between his legs but he didn't. He immediately understood and blood rushed up to his cheeks. But Ichigo said nothing to cover up his embarrassment. Wait, why was he supposed to be embarrassed about feeling horny regarding his wife? He tightened around her waist and pulled her closer. Rukia gasped as Ichigo's breath came across her cheek while he whispered, "At least you know it's about you."

"I just _assumed_ that." Rukia motioned to push him but he pulled her closer.  
"Then I'm telling you, it's you." He said huskily in her ear, "After all, why wouldn't I be so… _naughty_… having you this close to me? Hm?"

Rukia swallowed. He was getting to her and he knew it.

"Ichigo, let go of me." Rukia said firmly but Ichigo pulled her closer as if hurting if he didn't feel her skin against him.  
"Ken'ichi did say he wanted a baby brother."  
"We_can't_."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I'm on the pill."

"Ah, sou?" Ichigo purred in her ear and by the tinge in his voice, he was grinning. Great, now he was even _more_ turned on. "That doesn't mean we _can't do anything_, does it?"

Rukia wanted to speak but only a gasp came out when she opened her mouth. Ichigo was kissing her neck as he traced patterns on her shoulder. This wasn't good. His erection was rubbing against her inner thigh and she had to stop herself from moaning. Ichigo lifted her face towards him and he kissed her. Her lips were trembling. He loved it when she showed signs of what was supposed to be innocence. Rukia was rather submissive when he touched her. She would sometimes have her way with him if he let her but to him since she enjoyed seeing him writhe in ecstasy because of her. Whenever he moaned her name, she would usually moan back upon seeing him eroticized by her touch.

Rukia's tongue flicked against his lower lip. Ichigo smiled and pulled her closer, making sure their lips were locked as he deepened the kiss. She released a moan when his tongue entered her mouth. She responded accordingly as her hands felt his arms. Moments later she was tugging at his shirt and was lifting its ends later on. Rukia had no intention of removing his shirt because she just wanted to feel his chest and his abs but Ichigo pulled it off his head anyway. Rukia tucked her head onto the crook of his neck and began kissing him, working her way downwards.

Ichigo moaned as his palm felt Rukia's back to check if she had worn anything under it and he shivered in desire upon feeling nothing but her back. His hand immediately slithered back and felt her nipples against the soft material of her clothes. Rukia whimpered as Ichigo traced around with his fingers. He loved teasing her and he was sure she loved being teased. After all, Ichigo loved being teased by her as well. And only Rukia could tease him to the verge of insanity.

Surprisingly, she was not complaining about how the space was not enough for the both of them or how they couldn't do it in there. Either she didn't care or she was too occupied by her hormones to care.

"Rukia, I want you." Ichigo murmured in her ear. She moaned in response.

"Don't you want me?" he asked with a grin and she moaned louder when a hand cupped her breast, "Say you want me."  
"I… I want you…" she panted.  
"My name… Say my name…" Ichigo insisted and his tongue grazed her neck.  
"I want… you…" she said again as she clutched onto his shoulder, "…Ichigo."

Ichigo loved it whenever his name escaped her lips while she was rapturous from him and their hormones and he couldn't help but smile.

"Shall we?" he asked. She nodded.

But just as when Ichigo shifted to another position, the things on the upper half of the closet fell on them. The couple cursed and groaned and cursed again with every bit that hit them.

That was it.

Sayonaraaaaaaaa, hormones.

"Ow." Ichigo rubbed his head as he tried eyeing what had fallen on them, "What are these?"

"Well, I had to make space for my bed in the closet while you were in the bath." Rukia reasoned, "So what used to be down here, I placed up there."

"What?" Ichigo sighed as he felt his neck and he looked up. There was a large piece of cloth pinned on either side of the closet walls and now it had a large hole in the middle.

"Okay, out." Ichigo slid the door open and Rukia hopped out of the closet. After making sure the whole mess would stay in the closet, Ichigo stepped out and closed the door.

"Araaaa, that was fun!" Rukia skipped towards the bed and her disappointed husband followed her. The small girl climbed on the bed and pulled the blanket over her body. Ichigo sat on the edge of his side of the bed as he grumpily put his head on his hand.

"Oh, Ichigo, my Ichigo, where art thou my Ichigo!" Rukia said loudly from under the blanket and Ichigo turned with a raised eyebrow at her, "Deny thy father and refuse thy strawberry name or, if thou will not, Chappy the Bunny will plague thy dreams!"

Rukia broke into laughter. Ichigo grunted and crawled towards her before pulling the blanket off her body. She gasped and curled into a ball, covering her head as she continued to laugh.

"Why are you making fun of Shakespeare?" Ichigo asked, "Didn't you know that Shakespeare…"  
"Okay, okay… Let me try again." Rukia broke into laughter again, "Deny thy father and refuse thy name or, if thou will not…. B-b-b-Bunnies…"

Ichigo turned red and grabbed Rukia by the shoulders and forcefully straightened her so that she was lying on her back.

"That's not how it goes!" Ichigo frowned.  
"I can't remember it all!" a teary-eyed giggling Rukia replied, "So I had to substitute."  
"Oh, really now?" Ichigo's head tilted and he pulled her up. Rukia's eyes widened and Ichigo's hands grabbed the front of her spaghetti strapped blouse.

"What are you doing?" she blinked a bit horrified at him.  
"You recite Shakespeare's famous lines properly or I'm going to tear off your clothing piece by piece for every mistake!"  
"What!"  
"You_know_ I can do it!" Ichigo snickered, "Now start!"  
"Um… um…" Rukia began. Ichigo grinned.  
"There is no line starting with 'um'."  
"Ah! What? No fair! Wait! Ichigo!"

SHRIIIIP!

"ICHIGO!"  
"There's no line starting with 'Ichigo'!"  
"AAAAAH, YOU BASTARD!"

Respect the bunny for one day bunnies will rule the world.

Respect Shakespeare or Ichigo will rule you, Rukia!

- End of Chapter 5 -

* * *

Author: I ate a donut for lunch. Help meee… -crawls- I don't know why but even though my fingers are trembling and I feel weird, I can't think of anything good to eat… I forced that donut down my throat. Ah, well.

Anyway, whee for IchiRuki lime… -dances- Yay! So thanks for reading and I hope you review. Thanks for all those who take time to read my silly notes. Thanks to those who review and to those who will review as well…! Hope you stick around! I won't say anything but…………….. –flees-


	6. New Arrival

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Six : New Arrival**

* * *

"Kuchosaki!"

Ken'ichi's right eye twitched. That better _not_ be him. And since his surname was pronounced the wrong way, he did not budge from sitting on the thick branch of a large tree in the school grounds. Ken'ichi preferred to stay in a quiet place like this during lunch since he did need some time of meditation from time to time. Meditation was important and that he had learned from his Byakuya-ojisama. Ken'ichi had been wondering if his parents had been busy making a baby the night before since he had been hearing weird noises from their room.

"Oi, Kuchosaki!"

Ken'ichi gripped his juice box as he sipped. That really wasn't him. He was Ku-ro-sa-ki. Now where was he? Right. The baby. He was hoping that…

"Hey, Kuchosaki!"

"Ken'ichi…" A blonde-haired boy sitting on the branch to his right called him, "I think those guys are calling you.  
"No, they're not." Ken'ichi replied as he kicked his legs.  
"Are you sure? They've probably just gotten your name wrong." Said a brown-haired boy sitting on another branch, "They're looking this way so I guess they're really calling you."  
"I don't give my name wrong so why would they get it wrong?" Ken'ichi sipped from the juice box and blinked, "Besides…"

"KU-CHO-SA-KI!"

The boy grunted and slowly looked at the ground behind him. Three middle schoolers were standing as they looked up on him. Where had he seen these people? Fat guy, multi-colored hair guy and normal built guy… Hmm…

"Come down here, Kuchosaki!" the fat guy raised a fist.  
"Are you talking to me?" Ken'ichi pointed to his nose.  
"Well, I don't see any other Kuchosaki kid around here!" the fat guy replied.  
"Oh, wow! I don't see any Kuchosaki around here either!" Ken'ichi said in an innocent mocking voice as he looked around.  
"We're talking to _you_, you prick!" The multi-colored haired guy pointed at him.  
"For the nth time, I have a name." Ken'ichi was not making an effort to fully face them, "It's Ku-ro-sa-ki Ken-i-chi…! Now say it with me! Ku-ro—"  
"Damn you, Kurosaki brat, just get down here."

_Well, for pea brains, remembering my surname would be a good start._

Ken'ichi shrugged and climbed down the tree with ease as he continued sipping on the straw from his juice box. His two other companions muttered for him to take care and he strictly told them _not_ to climb down the tree if they loved their limbs. He casually walked towards the three men he had mentally labeled as Fatso, Rainbow and Bully. The trio walked towards him to meet him and Ken'ichi could feel the wave of self-confidence they had.

"You gut lucky last time, Kurosaki." Rainbow said smugly but the boy was busily counting his hair colors and checking if they were in ROY G. BIV format.  
"This time, we're really going to beat you up." Bully said as he cracked his knuckles.

"Uh-hum…" Ken'ichi said mindlessly as he bit on the straw. Rainbow got angry and slapped the juice box off and away from Ken'ichi's hand. The Kurosaki boy stopped as he felt the straw that was left on his mouth. His eyes moved and looked at them each before he spit the straw out. The three looked at each other as they snickered. Hoping to catch him off guard, Bully kicked Ken'ichi but the boy simply jumped back as he blinked.

"Shouldn't I be the one getting angry since it's you who can't remember my name?"  
"Pweh, your name's not worth remembering." Fatso snarled.  
"Sorry, didn't think my name would take too much space in your head." Ken'ichi shrugged, "So shall we?"

The three young men grunted and Rainbow nodded at the two. Bully and Fatso then picked him up and held him up by the arms. Ken'ichi looked at his bound limbs and blinked. Hmm… He did remember his father tying him up somewhere and poking him like hell when he spilled ink on his paperwork while he screamed, "Yamamoto's gonna wipe my face on the floor!"

"Okay, now we sha—"

Ken'ichi's foot firmly landed on Rainbow's face.

"You talk too much." Ken'ichi said flatly.  
"Hey!" Fatso began and twisted his arm.

"Stop that!" Ken'ichi glared and kicked Fatso on the knee. The fat guy's fingers released Ken'ichi's arm and with this free hand, Ken'ichi sent a fist towards Bully's face. The older boy stumbled backwards and Ken'ichi leapt back.

_Darn it, they made me use my hand._

"Kurosaki!" Rainbow gritted his teeth and began to assault the smaller boy with an array of hard punches. Since he drew his fist so heavily in an aim to land a solid fist, Rainbow had sacrificed much of his speed and it didn't take much for Ken'ichi to follow his movements. The Kurosaki boy side-stepped to his right and lifted his leg to bestow an axe kick from behind. His attack landed on Rainbow's back when Fatso suddenly grabbed him and pinned him on the ground.

_How could I let myself be open at a time like this!_

"Hold him down!" Bully said and Fatso nodded.

Great. Where was he going to get supernatural strength to push up this large mass of gluttony?

"Ken'ichi!" his two friends shouted from the tree.  
"Shut up!" Rainbow glared, "If you're so brave then why don't you come down here and help your friend out!"  
"They don't have to." Ken'ichi grunted and kneed Fatso but the older boy did not move as much as Ken'ichi hoped he would.

Damn.

In a quick move, they shifted Ken'ichi so that he was lying on his stomach. One guy was holding his hands behind him while a knee was pinning his back. Ken'ichi could also feel someone holding down his legs.

Just how helpless was he now?

Ken'ichi groaned and pushed him self up only to be forcefully pinned down. He grunted the grass brushed against his face and it was then that he realized that whenever his father pinned him down, he was actually going easy on him. The weight he was feeling now was similar to what his father used on him and Ken'ichi was sure that Kurosaki Ichigo did not have the strength of a middle schooler.

"Let go of me!" Ken'ichi struggled against their hold.  
"Shut up!" A hand hit his head and his face met the ground.  
"Ken'ichi!"

The raven-haired Kurosaki lifted his head partly and saw his two friends motioning to climb down the tree. Those bastards.

"You stay put, you morons!" Ken'ichi bellowed.  
"I said shut up!"

Ken'ichi's face met the ground again. He was getting sick of this. He had to break their hold but how? His arms were behind him. His legs were behind him. If his father were here, what'd he do? If only he had an arm that felt like steel then…

That's it.

If his father were here, he'd gather up his guts and endure.

Or so Ken'ichi hoped.

"Ken'ichi!" two voices from the tree again.

"Run back to class, you fools, or you're going to be late!" Ken'ichi bellowed as he tried lifting his head.

"I think you better do as he says!" that was probably Rainbow speaking now and Ken'ichi could see two feet before his face. It wasn't long before one of those feet landed on his head and messed up his hair.

"Let me go!" Ken'ichi struggled some more, "There's only one of me and you still need to—"  
"SHUT UP!"

The older male kicked Ken'ichi's face and the boy felt a strain on his neck muscles. The Kurosaki boy groaned as his vision shook. He had not yet stabilized when there came another kick from the other side.

Endure. Endure. Endure.

"As I was saying…" Ken'ichi continued, "It takes three middle schoolers for one—"

BAM!

That was a fist to his cheek.

And it hurt.

_Damn, that's going to leave yet another nasty bruise._

Enduring was easier said than done.

"If you don't want to get hurt _too much_ then you should stop talking." That was Bully holding down his legs.  
"Ken'ichi, we're coming!"

"No, you're not! You're going _back to class_!" Ken'ichi insisted and he gritted his teeth. The last thing he'd like is to get his friends involved. It would've been easier if he had just told them to run away for their own sake but he really didn't like to sound like a weakling who was going to die.

"But Ken'ichi…!"  
"I like doing fights alone, okay!" Ken'ichi shouted.

"Oh, really?" That was Rainbow who was now walking towards his friends who had climbed down the tree. Ken'ichi's eyes widened. Those two were going to get it if they didn't high tail now!

"Get out of there!" Ken'ichi shouted and once again, he pushed himself up to struggle against the older boys, "Let me go! I said let me go!"  
"Like we'd do that." Fatso was laughing.

Ken'ichi could now see the multi-colored head of the middle school bully. He reached out for one of the younger boys and lifted his small body before kicking his companion away. Ken'ichi gritted his teeth again as he saw a fist coming for his other friend.

"LET ME GO!"  
"Scram, you pricks!" the older male was now kicking his friends who were scampering away.  
"Hey, leave them alone!" Ken'ichi yelled after him, "And you two, get the hell out of here or _I'll_ beat the crap out of you!"  
"But we can't leave y— OW!"

Elbow in the face!

"LET ME GO!" Ken'ichi's shouts were growing louder, "I SAID LET ME GO OR I'LL GO BANKAI ON YOUR ASS!"

There was silence and Ken'ichi could feel three pairs of eyes looking at him. His two friends were now scared to the brink of peeing their pants and they apologized to Ken'ichi before running off. Rainbow watched and chuckled and put his hands in his pockets before walking towards the ten year-old boy who was pinned helplessly on the ground. His violet eyes had sharpened into a glare that would've made Kurosaki Ichigo proud.

"What'd you say?"

Actually, Ken'ichi did not know what he was talking about exactly but saying "Bankai" made him feel some energy spark from within him. There was something about that word that his father did not want to tell him but if it could be used to threaten someone then it was probably something strong.

However, judging by the below sea level intelligence these three creatures had been showing him, Ken'ichi highly doubted that they'd knew shit about Bankai.

Or if they could even spell it, at least.

"He said banzai." Fatso said flatly.  
"I said ban-kai!" Ken'ichi was still glaring, "Or are you deaf?"  
"That's funny." Rainbow crouched as he grabbed Ken'ichi by the hair and lifted his face at an uncomfortable angle, "And what may a bampai be?"

_I clearly said "Bankai". No wonder they had such a hard time remembering "Kurosaki"._

"_Bankai_ means run or I'm gonna beat you senseless."

Rainbow's eyebrows shot up and he smiled before looking at his two companions. For several moments they exchanged grins before breaking into laughter.

"And how do you plan on—"

THWACK!

Ken'ichi blinked upon seeing a rock bounce off Rainbow's head. The bully's eyes widened and looked at the foreign object that had been thrown at him. He rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully before looking at Ken'ichi then at the rock and then at Ken'ichi.

"What!" Ken'ichi shouted, "Do I look like clairvoyant to you!"

Rainbow grunted and looked at Fatso and Bully.

"Who threw that?" Rainbow asked.  
"I didn't see."  
"Me, too."  
"You_morons_!"

Ken'ichi sighed.

_My point exactly_.

The four male students' eyes darted for the direction from where the rock came from. Ken'ichi prayed that better not be any of his two companions. Across them was a building but there wasn't anyone who was standing there. Whoever threw that rock should really run for it now.

"Who's the—"

THWACK!

Stone right at Rainbow's face! Ken'ichi saw a hand and a head that popped out from behind the building!

"What the—"

THWACK!

Fatso was down at least enough for Ken'ichi propped himself up.

"He—"

THWACK!

That was Bully. Ken'ichi kicked himself free.

Whoever this stone-throwing guy was, he had tremendous accuracy! But right now, he had to grab his rescuer and run for it! Ken'ichi sped for the direction of the building and the head with honey blonde hair peeked. Ken'ichi grunted as he neared the person who gasped and hid back into the building.

"AFTER HIM!"

Ken'ichi did not have to look back to know who was going after who. With his leg pivoting and kicking at the same time, Ken'ichi's hand darted out and grabbed his rescuer who was too flabbergasted to even shout.

"Where are we going!" said the boy Ken'ichi was dragging. Ken'ichi looked back. The three guys were hot on their trail. The honey blonde-haired boy looked back as well and gasped.

"We should get back to class!" the stranger said.  
"Easier said than done…!" Ken'ichi replied as he released the other boy and continued to run.  
"Waaaah, don't tell me we're going to cut classes!"  
"If we run fast enough then, no."  
"Waaaaah, why are they after me!"  
"What kind of question is that! You threw _rocks_ on their faces!"  
"I did that to save you!" the boy was now pouting, "Ingrate!"  
"Not that I'm complaining but let's just run the heck off unless you'd like to be beaten to a pulp."

"GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE BRATS!"

---

"Lunch break is over. Where is Kurosaki?" the teacher was saying now as she eyed the class.  
"S-s-sensei… He got into a fight." Ken'ichi's brown-haired friend raised his hand, "He was bullied by middle schoolers from the other building, Sensei."  
"What?" the woman sighed and shook her head, fixing her glasses as she looked at her record, "Well, anyway, even if it's the middle of the day, I would like to introduce to you two transfer students."

There was a rise of murmurs from the class. And the teacher cleared her throat to silence them. The whispering died down and all heads turned to the door from which stepped in a beautiful girl in brown locks tied in two pigtails on the side of her head.

"Where is your brother?" the teacher asked the girl with a calm but serious face.  
"Something important has come up but he will be back. Please excuse him, sensei." She said lowly. The woman with the record nodded and waved at her to continue. The girl then turned to the class.

"Good afternoon. My name is Ishida Yui."

And with a dignified face, bowed.

"Yoroshiku Onegai Shimasu!"

- End of Chapter 6 -

* * *

Author: Gasp! I didn't misspell that. Yesh, her surname _is_ Ishida. Whatever relation she has to Uryuu Ishida, I will have to tell you in the near future. Hope you stick around for it. Thanks for reading and I hope you review! And thank you for the reviews! I love you guys! You all rock! Bankai to us all! 


	7. One, Two, Three!

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Seven : One, Two, Three!**

* * *

Ken'ichi leaned on the wall as his honey blonde-haired companion sunk on the floor. Both of them were huffing and missed consecutive periods trying to outrun middle school bullies. Ken'ichi wiped the sweat off his forehead and looked down on the other boy who looked like he was going to have an asthma attack.

"We are… _so_ dead." The stranger said, "Especially… me…"  
"Thanks for… the rocks back there…" Ken'ichi bent and put his hands on his knees as he watched his sweat trickle from his forehead.  
"No biggie."

"By the way…" Ken'ichi looked at the boy beside him and offered his hand, "I'm Kurosaki Ken'ichi."  
"I'm…" the boy continued to huff as his trembling hand shook with Ken'ichi's, "…Ishida Ryu."

Ken'ichi sat down on the floor with Ryu as they bought caught their breaths. Their huffing slightly echoed along the empty corridor and they could slightly hear sounds coming from the classrooms nearby. Ryu looked at Ken'ichi and said, "Should we go back to class?"

"And then what? Waste the remainder of our afternoon?" Ken'ichi replied, "There are only fifteen minutes before dismissal."  
"You've got a point."

Ken'ichi did not know what his mother and father would do to him when they see his bruises. He was going back to being called "my little baby Kii-chan" again. Three stupid older boys ganged up on him and he let them. Not that his father would scold him but he just felt so silly being worked up from running from three airheads who just happened to be larger and older. Well, you can't always have things your way.

"Oh my god, I thought I was going to die…" Ryu threw his head back slowly, "Never thought it'd feel different when it's not my father trying to kill me."

Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.

"Your father?"  
"Y-ye—Never mind."  
"No, my father tries to kill me, too." Ken'ichi shrugged, "With his bare hands. Now that you've said that, it makes me wonder if all fathers are like that."  
"The normal ones aren't, I guess." Ryu chuckled and Ken'ichi grinned before both of them started laughing.

But all revelries were cut short.

"THERE THEY ARE!"

Ken'ichi's eyes widened and Ryu gasped as he saw three middle schoolers running their way. Ken'ichi, having better reflexes, immediately stood up and grabbed Ryu by the collar. The boy had a bit of trouble getting up but eventually ran with Ken'ichi.

"We are sooooooo dead!" Ryu complained.  
"Double dead if they catch us! Keep running!"

Ken'ichi would've faced these three guys again if he had to but not with someone he had just met. He did not like getting other people involved in his fights since he did not want other people getting hurt because of him. It was one of the things his father taught him.

"RYU!" A female voice shot through the air as a girl stepped into the corridor.

"Y-YUI-CHAN!" Ryu gasped but had no time to stop. The girl's eyebrows furrowed and then her eyes grew wide upon seeing three other students hot on her brother's trail. She opened her mouth to say something but Ryu and Ken'ichi immediately grabbed her and dragged her away. The girl released a small shriek before she could get her feet to coordinate properly. As soon as she was sure she was not going to stumble stupidly in front of her brother and his new found chase buddy, the girl turned to Ryu and glared, "What is the meaning of this!"

"Why are you out early?" Ryu asked instead of answering.  
"We were dismissed early now answer my question!"  
"News flash! Head for the stairs!" Ken'ichi pointed.  
"Okay!" Ryu nodded.

"Wha— HEY!" Yui exclaimed as Ken'ichi grabbed her by the waist and flung her on his shoulder as he leaped down the steps with Ryu, "What do you think you're doing! Unhand me this instant!"

"I'm not watching a girl slip down the steps!" Ken'ichi replied.  
"I can manage, thank you!" she complained as she pushed herself up, "Now let me go!"  
"As soon as—"  
"I said unhand me, you pervert!" she shrieked and pulled on his hair.  
"OW! Stop that!" Ken'ichi squirmed in between steps, "You're not light, you know so sorry for being a young gentleman! OW! It hurts already! Stop that!"  
"Yui-chan…!"

"Who do you think you are? Let me go!" she was kicking now and she looked up. The three middle schoolers were still after them. With a pout, she blew the stray wisp of hair that was dangling on her face and said, "Why the hell are we running!"

"You sure ask a lot of questions, don't you?" Ken'ichi commented as he grunted, "Aside from that and being bossy, what else can you do?"  
"Shut up! I don't remember talking to you!" She said shrilly and hit Ken'ichi on the head, "There's three of us and three of them so why are we running!"  
"Yui-chan, they're middle schoolers!"

_Yes, and they have more air in their head than brains!_

"Well, they look like airheads to me!" Yui pouted, "Three of us, three of them! We shouldn't be running!"  
"That's two and a half!" Ken'ichi corrected.  
"Oh, sorry. Didn't know you didn't have it in you."  
"I don't get girls into fights so _you're_ the _half_."  
"Excuse me!" she began pulling on his hair again, "Unhand me thi—"

Yui looked up and saw the fat guy holding up a trash can he picked up and aiming at them.

"DOWN!" she shrieked.  
"What?" the two boys chorused and looked back.  
"I said _down_, you morons!"

Flying trash can right at them!

"GAH!"  
"WAAAH!"

Ken'ichi and Ryu kicked off towards opposite directions and the large aluminum object whizzed between them as both of them hit the wall. Ken'ichi was fast enough to have shifted Yui so that she'd hit his body instead. With a thud, they fell on the floor and Ryu got up. Yui was the next to sit up and Ken'ichi would've sat up as well if the girl had not been sitting on his stomach.

"Here they come." She said, "Ryu, get up."  
"B-b-but Yui-chan…!"  
"What about _you_ get off me!" Ken'ichi complained.

"Heads up!" Yui kicked off the ground and Ken'ichi groaned as her weight left him in a bad way.  
"Y-Yui-chan!"

The three middle schoolers caught up with them and the fat one aimed for the girl. She ducked just in time and sent a jab to his midsection. The older student winced but did not fall back. The girl gasped and then the normal built guy took her by the head.

"Bitchy little—"  
"Hold it!" Ken'ichi kicked Bully in the face and the boy threw to the wall. The Kurosaki boy landed and shoved Yui to one side.

"I can take care of myself!"  
"You're too open when you attack!" Ken'ichi glared and she smirked. The girl looked beside her.

Janitor's closet!

Yui's hand grabbed the door and opened it. Her feet kicked up a bucket before throwing it straight at Bully's face. The middle schooler arched back from the impact and he fell on the floor. His two companions watched in shock. Before they could return to the current situation, Ken'ichi had already grabbed a broom and began hitting them with it in swings and in thrusts.

It would've looked cool if he wasn't holding a broom but other than that, for a ten year-old kid, he was doing it with elegance and strength at the same time. Yui's eyes widened.

_This boy's footwork is insanely synchronized!_

The girl was too absorbed with watching Ken'ichi that she didn't realize the giant hand that was coming to grab her.

"Yui-chan…!" Ryu exclaimed and rammed a mop towards the fat guy's gut. The middle schooler groaned as he fell and Yui gasped a short "Arigatou" as Ken'ichi finished up, handling the broom as if sheathing a sword. And Ken'ichi slowly breathed out.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" an adult male voice hollered and all three children gasped. Ken'ichi straightened from his stance as he and Ryu dropped whatever it was that they were holding. The male bearded teacher was eyeing them all as well as the three half-wasted bodies of middle schoolers on the floor.

"A-a-ano…" Yui was now pale and Ken'ichi scratched his head. Ken'ichi groaned and Ryu hung his head on his neck, "I told you we were dead."

"Get in the office! NOW!"

The three filed in towards the door as they sported various looks on their faces. Heavy footsteps prodded into the room and it felt like doomsday when the teacher closed the door.

"What do you think you were doing?"  
"Sensei, we can explain." Yui began.

Ken'ichi sighed. Who should he think of being now? His father was no diplomat. His ojisama was a superior. His ojisan was nowhere close to normal. Great. Now, if his mother were here, what'd she do?

Lights! Camera! And in three, two, one…

"Sensei." Ken'ichi said lowly.

Action!

"I admit. I was violent." The boy began as the siblings beside him looked on, "No matter what reason I may have, it was not right for me to behave in such a reckless manner not fit for a young boy like me."

"You bet you have no right." The teacher nodded, his eyebrows still meeting each other.

Ken'ichi looked down and bit his lip, his hands clutching into fists and he sighed before looking at the man who was behind the table. The adult blinked and the boy spoke again, "But sensei, would it be fitting for me to leave a girl being disrespected right before my eyes?"

"Wha—" Yui was about to say something when her brother tugged at her sleeve, "Ssh!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Tell me, sensei…" Ken'ichi's voice was shaky, "If you were in a situation that both questioned your manhood, a situation that called for you to make a choice, what would you do? Would uphold the rules and leave the girl or save the girl no matter what the rules say?"

The teacher wasn't speaking and Yui was raising an eyebrow.

"Tell me, sensei!" Ken'ichi slammed his palms on the table, "Tell me!"

Yui was blinking and Ryu was in awe. Was this an act or was he serious? This boy was sincerely insane. She was not getting associated with him after this. She would not even learn his name. There was no way in earth, heaven or hell that what he was saying now would pass up as an excuse. He was worsening the situation and he was getting themselves into a bigger trouble than they were already in. Perhaps she should speak up and tell him she did not know this man and sorts? She could say that she and her brother were unwittingly dragged into his mess so this boy should suffer the consequences of his actions alone. She could do that, right? After all, this acting was going to get them nowhere, right?

Right.

So how the hell did they out of the office unharmed without any disciplinary sanctions again?

"Phew, that was a close one, Kurosaki!" Ryu sighed as they walked out of the school building, "It's a good thing you were a good at speech."

It was not genius. It was totally ludicrous! How could that male teacher give in to that lame acting of his! Now she owed him one or maybe two since he saved her brother as well.

"Like you said… No biggie." Ken'ichi shrugged.  
"This is the first and last time I'll be getting into such a big mess with you… you… you…" Yui was looking at Ken'ichi, unsure what to call him.  
"If it helps, my name is Kurosaki Ken'ichi." He blinked at her and she pouted as she said, "Ishida Yui."

"But since you're the first guy I've met properly on my first day of school here where I got into my first fight ever…" Ryu rattled on, "You can just call me Ryu!"  
"WHAT!" Yui blasted, "You can't do that!"  
"Yui-chan, he helped us out and you have to admit that." Ryu reasoned, "Besides, we've already decided that when one person calls me by name, he calls you by name as well."

"Well that's…!"  
"Yui-chan!"  
"Hmph. Fine."

"I won't call you by name if you don't want me to." Ken'ichi said.  
"Shut up. It's an agreement between twins so stay out of it." She glared at him, "So just go with the flow and call us by name…!"  
"O-okay but you will have to call me by name, too…" Ken'ichi shrugged, "…Ryu, Yui."

Yui felt goosebumps all over her body. The only males to call her by name were those who were part of her family so to hear her name being said by another male's voice was really, really weird! Plus, he was staring at her as he blinked dumbly.

"Stop looking at me!" she glared.  
"Why the hell are you so edgy?" Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.

The Ishida girl's glare intensified as she bit her lip, drew a deep breath and stormed off. Ken'ichi's head tilted in apparent curiosity as he looked at her brother who was chuckling.

"What's so funny?"  
"Well, you see, Yui-chan doesn't really talk to other people so much." Ryu was smiling, "So it's really weird to see her interacting with a new person this early."  
"Really?" Ken'ichi blinked, "Gee, it would've been fun if I had a twin, too… Or a brother or a sister."  
"You're an only child?"  
"Yes…" Ken'ichi hung his head in dismay, "And it really sucks… most of the time."  
"Well, sometimes I want to be an only child."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah."

"Ryu, what are you standing there for! Let's go home!" Yui screeched and Ryu pointed at her with his head as he raised his eyebrows at Ken'ichi as if saying, "See?" And the Kurosaki boy smiled and nodded before watching the Ishida boy walk towards his short-tempered oddball of a sister.

"Yui-chan, you didn't have to be so prickly." Ryu muttered when he caught up with her.  
"And you must learn how to analyze people before trusting them."  
"Ken'ichi doesn't look like he's a bad guy."  
"Well, he's totally freaky."  
"And_you're_ edgy."  
"Whose side are _you_ on!" she put her hands on his waist.

"I could've at least used the Rikka to cure the bruise on his face." Ryu shrugged and looked at a green six-petal flower on his finger. His sister looked at him and shook her head, "Moron."

- End of Chapter 7 -

* * *

Author: Yay! I finished Chapter 7 today! Wootness! –silly dance- I have a twist in mind but it's not really final so I won't say much at this point except please review!! Lurfsh you all! Ah, and thanks for the e-given ramen. It's raining cats and dogs here. –slurps- 


	8. Familia

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Eight : Familia**

* * *

"Tadaima!" Ryu hopped in as Yui removed her shoes in the genkan. The boy ran into the house and straight into the kitchen where his mother was preparing something for dinner. There was a weird, unrecognizable whiff of something being cooked. Yui stepped in and looked at a raven-haired man with glasses who was coming down the stairs. The girl walked towards him, "Tadaima."

"Okaeri nasai."  
"Okaeri nasai!" a ginger-haired woman stepped in with Ryu behind her as he chews on a carrot.  
"Ryu, is that a raw carrot?" Yui raised an eyebrow as she pointed at the food her brother was gnawing on.  
"Actually…" Ryu swallowed, "Okasan marinated this in something."  
"She… Marinated…" Yui's eyebrow was still raised as she looked at her father who was sporting the same face, "… A carrot?"

"Yes. It's really good. You want some?" Ryu started towards her but the girl backed, finding sanctuary behind her father who sighed and said, "So how was school?"

The twins looked at each other and gasped. First day of school was not really boring. The father raised an eyebrow as the mother blinked. Yui, reading her father's next question, immediately popped out, "I didn't miss school, Otousan!"

"What! Are you saying _I_ missed school!" Ryu exclaimed with carrot bits around his mouth.  
"Did you?" his father was looking seriously at him.

"Uryuu!" his wife glared at him or at least tried to as she took Ryu and wiped the carrot bits off his lips. The husband stopped himself from sighing. His wife really did not want him giving his serious stare at their children. He fixed his glasses casually as the ginger-haired woman of the house murmured things to her nodding son.

Ishida Uryuu, twenty-six years old, was married to his wife who was formerly known as the innocent Inoue Orihime but was never known to be Ishida Orihime. Ten years ago, six months after the birth of Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia's son, Orihime realized there was also life inside her. Ishida would've blamed hormones if he didn't feel so happy when he sorted out the symptoms. It felt really funny when she walked up to him and said, "My baby has a daddy" and then he broke into laughter. It took someone with another sense of understanding or overexposure to her and her nature to understand what she wanted to say. She had frowned at him when he began laughing like the idiot he never was and she stormed off with angry puffed cheeks.

"Did something come up?" Uryuu was asking Ryu. Yui opened her mouth to answer but her father shushed her with his hand. The girl clamped her lips and looked at her brother. Uryuu tilted his head as if repeating his question in a gesture.

"Well, I…" Ryu was looking at his carrot and looked up at his mother who reached for the orange vegetable. The boy sighed and handed it to his mother before looking at his waiting father.

"Well, I got into a fight."

"What?" Orihime and Uryuu chorused.

Ryu had always been the one under his sister's wing. He was never interested in getting into fights unless it involved his sister but Yui was not looking like she started anything. Had Ryu stirred up something?

"Why?" Uryuu asked.  
"With who?" Orihime seconded, crouching to look at her son, "Did you get hurt?"  
"I didn't but, um, it started when I saw guys beating up this boy and he looked really… well… I couldn't stand it so I threw rocks at the bullies in the end."  
"You what?" Uryuu raised an eyebrow, "What did I tell you about getting involved with another person's fight?"  
"I… I know, Otousan but… but…" Ryu was clutching on his mother's skirt, "But it was three against one and I threw rocks and they chased us."

"So you got involved all the way?" Uryuu walked as Orihime ushered them to the living room. The mother slightly pushed her son towards his father and nodded at her daughter to come to her. Uryuu sat down on what Orihime called "The Father's Chair", which was a large black leather seat that she forced Uryuu to buy when she was pregnant.

"I got involved but we both ran away." Ryu continued as he climbed on his father's lap. Uryuu's head drew back a little to avoid being accidentally elbowed by his son. Orihime sat down on the couch and Yui sat beside her.

"You ran away?"  
"Yes…"  
"And…?"

Ryu didn't answer and looked at Yui.

"He missed school, Otousan." Yui continued, "But that was because the bullies chased after him and his friend the whole afternoon."  
"Araaa! My baby has made a friend already!" Orihime clapped and looked at Uryuu, "Isn't that nice, Uryuu?"  
"If he's a bad influence then, no." Uryuu lifted his glasses and cleaned them using the end of his shirt, "I don't want you hanging around this friend of yours any longer."  
"He's not so bad, Otousan." Ryu reasoned and looked at his twin sister, "Tell them, Yui. Tell them he was gentleman enough to carry you down the stairs when we were being chased by middle school bullies."  
"Yui, you got involved, too?" Orihime asked her daughter as she brought down Yui's hair.  
"Hai…" she said formally, "But that was because they came across me as they were running and Ryu and his friend dragged me before the three middle school guys could take me hostage or something."  
"See?" Ryu smiled.  
"And then that stupid spiky head carried me over his shoulder and ran down the stairs and insulted me by saving me and… and…"  
"He was being a gentleman, Yui." Ryu pouted at his sister.  
"He was _groping_ me!" she glared at her brother who gave her a weird look that was like his father's as he said, "Yui-chan, you're _ten_. What's there to grope?"

The two females in the room gasped and Yui jumped off the couch. Half of her hair was down and the other was still untidily tied up. Yui glared at Ryu and the boy screamed as he jumped off from his father's lap and ran up to their room. Uryuu groaned upon the boy's feet kicking off his thigh and the angry red daughter chased after her twin as she shrilly shrieked after him. Uryuu sighed back into the chair as Orihime laughed amidst the banging sounds on the second floor.

"Our house is turning into a mine field." Uryuu said as Orihime walked towards him and sounds of bickering and pleading ensue from the floor above them. His wife giggled and sat on his leg and stroked his hair gently.  
"You have to tell them that if that floor caves in while we're down here, they're going to live with their grandpa." Uryuu told her sternly.  
"Don't you mean put up for adoption?" Orihime blinked.  
"You mean they'd _wish_ they had been for adoption instead." Uryuu put his hand thoughtfully around her waist, "You know how my father is."  
"Uryuu, you don't have to hate him." She said as she leaned against him.

Ishida Uryuu did not answer.

What's not to hate?

Uryuu was eager about the baby but Ryuken was not so excited about being a grandfather. While Isshin had built a large bonfire in their backyard and brought Masaki's giant picture out so that he could revel and bask in his so-called "pre-grand daddy glory", Ryuken decided to hide Orihime and her pregnancy. It was a shame. The whole thing was a shame. They were not married. They had not even finished high school yet. Uryuu had opposite thoughts as usual. Wouldn't it be more shameful if he didn't reveal her as his official wife to the public? But Orihime did not want Uryuu to argue with his father.

"_Uryuu, let's just do as he says."_

And he didn't argue with her.

Perhaps that was Uryuu's mistake. He _didn't argue_. He always argued back when he wanted to. He always interpolated. He always scrutinized. Why didn't he gather up his guts and _speak_ when he had to?

What did it matter now? Ryuken had taken Orihime to Tokyo. Uryuu felt like he had killed himself. Why was he allowed to visit Orihime only on a certain schedule? Why wasn't he allowed to tell anyone else he had a baby with her? Why was she supposed to be a secret?

Inoue, no, _Ishida_ Orihime was not sick with some sort of disease.

That baby was _not_ shame. That baby was _his_. That baby was _love_.

He could have said it. He should have said it. But, no. Ishida Uryuu held on with being contented with visiting her every so often upon his father's promise of education and financial support. That was probably why he was going with everything. Uryuu had no means of earning money, which meant he did not have any way of providing for his family.

_What are you going to feed your wife, Uryuu? LOVE?_

If there was something Uryuu hated aside from weakness and defeat, it would be being in a situation wherein his father was in charge, his father was prevailing and most of all, his father was right. Ishida Ryuken, the man who had ignored the way of the Quincy, which Uryuu had loved, was depriving him of his wife, Inoue — no — _Ishida_ Orihime, the woman he had come to love.

Ishida Orihime.

Was she actually Ishida? In such a situation, could she be called Ishida?

Uryuu looked at his wife whose head was on his as he breathed out. She was humming something but he could not figure out the song. He was too plunged in his thoughts to process any outside information.

Nine months passed heavily for Uryuu but those nine months bore him twins.

But Uryuu was not done with college yet and that was another thing his father held to control him.

"_No, Uryuu. Finish college and there will be no need for you to hide your family."_

Why? Was his family had been some short of shameful thing? He would've drawn a Quincy arrow to shoot at his father and rave about justice and respect but what did he do?

Something really unlikely.

Nothing.

Ishida Uryuu did nothing… again. So much for not making the same mistake twice.

Ten years of being tucked away in Tokyo. Uryuu must admit he wasn't able to spend as much time as he wanted to with his twins. It was hard keeping things from Ichigo since they were in the same class. How many times did one or both of his children get sick and he did not know what to do…? He missed his son's games, his daughters school programs, their parties… Many things. The kids needed a father not only by name and image but an _actual_ father. He was a lame-ass father. Even lamer than his own father, in fact. And to be lower than what you hate is really aggravating.

But his children were special.

When Orihime gave birth, he was by her side and he could never forget when the Rikka on her hair seemed to cry light. Every time Orihime screamed, a faint tear-shaped light would fall and accumulate until it eventually turned out to be a green version of her Rikka. Shun Shun Rikka were said to have been created to protect Orihime and that its strength increases as her will increases. Orihime wanted to protect her children and so perhaps, the Rikka wanted to protect what_she_ wanted to protect.

But then again, his children were special. They weren't twins for nothing, perhaps. And just like how his children were special, the Rikka for them was also special.

A Quincy Rikka — A Rikka that fired Quincy Arrows.

There was only one Rikka but both children could use it in their own way.

Yui, the older of the two, was the only one who could fire a Quincy arrow and from a Quincy bow. She could fire as many arrows as her reiatsu allowed her to but she could only use the tri-link shield three times a day. It was easy teaching her since she was pretty accurate but she had a weakness of her own. No matter what she did, she was always too open whenever launching an attack.

What good was an offense without defense?

That was probably why Ryu was an opposite. He could not fire Quincy arrows from a Quincy bow but he could use the tri-link shield for as long as his reiatsu allowed him to. For Ryu to fire an arrow, he would have to activate the Rikka — six petals, six arrows per day.

But still, his father did not see Yui and Ryu as heirs.

"Uryuu…" Orihime was saying as she wiped the tears from Uryuu's eyes. He gasped upon seeing her worried face and he straightened from his inadvertent slouching. She was looking at him as if to ask him what was wrong and he just sighed and kissed her cheek.

"SANTEN KESSHUN! I REJECT!" A boy's voice hollered from above and Ishida and Orihime gasped. There was another shriek from Yui saying something about crowbars and livers.

"OKASAAAAAAAAAAN, RYU USED THE RIKKA!!"  
"OKASAAAAAAAAAAN, YUI HIT ME WITH MY TOY TRUCK!!"  
"YOU MEAN BULLDOZER!"  
"THAT'S A TRUCK!"

Ishida sighed.

"I wonder how Ichigo and Rukia's kid is doing…" Orihime said thoughtfully.  
"You mean you wonder how they're putting up with it." Ishida sighed again.

How?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Rukia's ear-piercing shriek startled Ichigo from his paper work and he immediately darted out the door, Shinigami badge in hand as he painstakingly tried with his already occupied and worried mind to figure out who could've attacked at this time. The orange-haired head of the house leaped off the stairs and winced as the impact jarred his legs only to find Rukia standing at the door.

"Rukia!" Ichigo called.  
"ICHIGO!" Rukia looked at her husband, "Look what happened to my little baby Kii-chan!"

"Ken'ichi?" Ichigo ran towards Rukia and saw his son in front of her. The boy was looking flatly at his wailing mother who was pointing at her son's beaten up face. Ichigo gasped, wondering what kind of gang war his son had gotten himself into.

"What happened to you?' Ichigo asked as Rukia hugged her "little baby Kii-chan".  
"I got beat up, Otousan." The boy pouted, disappointed at himself, "They got back at me and caught me when I was open and… well… this."  
"Who did this to you?" Rukia frowned as she looked at her son, "Those three middle school bullies?"  
"Hai."  
"Why those…"

"Rukia, you are _not_ going to beat the crap out of those kids." Ichigo told her as he crossed his arms over his chest. Rukia pouted and took her son by the hand to lead him inside. Ichigo sat on the couch and Ken'ichi sat beside him while Rukia went off to get some medicine. Ichigo watched as his son settled on the space beside him and eyed the bruises on his face.

If those three bullies happened to be from High School, they would've gotten it pretty bad from this beaten-up boy's father.

"You were open?" Ichigo asked without moving his eyes away from Ken'ichi.  
"Hai." Ken'ichi nodded, "I was open and two held me down. The other hit me."  
"Well, if it helps, be flattered that they needed two middle schoolers to pin you down." Ichigo patted his son on the head, "You're just ten. Don't take it so hard."  
"But they're idiots." Ken'ichi pouted a la Ichigo, "And I hate losing to idiots."  
"There is the so-called power difference." Ichigo said with a smile, "I told you, you're only ten."  
"How did you get away, Kii-chan?" Rukia asked and Ken'ichi let his worried mother call him by nickname.

"A boy threw rocks at them and we both ran a— OW!" Ken'ichi jerked as Rukia placed an icepack on his cheek. The boy shuddered in the sudden painful contact and Rukia looked pitifully at her son as she sniffled upon seeing him. The boy looked at his mother and straightened before saying, "I'm all right, Okasan. Please don't look at me like that. I don't want to make you worry like that."

Rukia's lips trembled before hugging her son and squealing, "AWW! MY LITTLE BABY!!" Ichigo leaned back and watched his son let his mother hug him.

"He's fine, Rukia. After all, he _is_ my son."

- End of Chapter 8 -

* * *

Author: Okay, this was supposed to be up _right after_ Chapter 7 but I got BUSY, okay? I got BUSY… THE HELL BUSY TILL 1:00 AM AND PLAGUED WITH FREAKING THOUGHTS ONWARDS!!! 

Something is happening to me. I don't know what the hell is but I don't want it to stop. At least not yet.

Aside from that, the computer corrupted half of this chapter and it took me quite sometime before I could retrieve it properly. Plus blame my cousins who dragged me around town as I bit my nails in yearning. So, yeah, I'm late. Sorry.

Well, now that I have ranted… Read and Review. Please. Excuse me as I scamper back to wishful thinking.

So I'm not sure if I'll be able to add another chap today since I'm_highly_ distracted. Sorry. Blame someone, not me.


	9. Conspiracy

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Nine : Conspiracy**

* * *

Ken'ichi walked down the corridors to his class the next morning. His mother plastered a weird bandage on his face and if his father did not come in to try and save his dignity and the Kurosaki name, the boy would have been wearing something with a bunny on it. It was a bit hard trying to smile at girls greeting him "Ohayou, Kurosaki-kun!" with the bandage on his face and the pain on his cheek. Ken'ichi was not even sure why these girls were greeting him and who the hell were they. Ken'ichi sighed as he felt the sting from his cheek, digging into his pockets thoughtfully about the night before.

---

"_Rukia, stop crying like Orihime." Ichigo was lying lazily on the couch as he flipped channels while Rukia was sitting on the space by his stomach. She was blowing her nose with a Chappy the Bunny tissue paper as Ken'ichi sat on her lap._

"_You don't understand since you weren't the one carrying him for nine months." _

_Ichigo groaned._

"_Okasan, I'm okay."_  
"_I know but…" Rukia sobbed._  
"_Hoo boy, if you're fretting over your son like that, I wonder how Orihime will handle it once she became Ishida."_

---

Ishida.

Ryu and Yui were also Ishida. Could his parents possibly know those two?

"Ken'ichi!" the boy looked up upon arriving in his classroom and saw his two friends coming towards him as he stood at the door.  
"Ohayou!" Ken'ichi waved.

"So you really got beaten up, eh?" the blonde said with a blink.  
"Not 'cause I have this means I was beaten up so badly, Genki." Ken'ichi pointed at the gauze on his face.  
"Wow." Genki blinked at the white cloth, "Hachirou and I thought you were clinic material."  
"What!" Ken'ichi blasted as he motioned to hit either of the two, "You didn't believe in me and you call yourselves my friends!"

_But if Ryu hadn't shown up, I might have been clinic and probation material._

"Well…" brown-haired Hachirou grinned as he backed away, "At least we didn't assume you were going to die."  
"Why you…!"  
"How did you get out of that mess?" Genki said before Hachirou could say or do anything stupid, "They were three middle schoolers."  
"Well…" Ken'ichi said thoughtfully, "I had help."

Ken'ichi shrugged as he stood at the doorway, remembering his two friends from the day before. Especially since the girl — what was her name? — gave a jab. It was a stupid jab but it was still a girl trying to hit a middle schooler. She had quite a stance, as well. He was surprised at how Ryu was able to keep up running with him even as Ken'ichi sped up little by little to see if both of them could go faster. He was starting to theorize that either Ryu was undergoing training like he was or Kurosaki Ichigo had not been teaching his son well enough to go just above average.

"Ohayou, Ken'ichi!" said a familiar male voice and the Kurosaki boy looked behind him, seeing his new-found friend Ryu smiling at him. Ken'ichi smiled back and nodded while greeting back.

"Off to class?" Ken'ichi blinked.  
"This_is_ our class." Ryu said simply and Ken'ichi's eyebrows shot up.

Did he just say "our"?

"You're in my way."

Ken'ichi whipped beside him and saw a brown-haired girl looking flatly at him and he gasped. There was a sudden hush from Ken'ichi's two male friends as the Ishida girl continued to apathetically stare at him.

"You're in the same class?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"Yes. What does it look like?" she said with no change of tone. Was this girl related to his Byakuya-ojisama?

"Well, then, ohayou, Yui." Ken'ichi leaned on the door post and stretched out his arm towards the room. Ryu chuckled and his sister glared at him but he did not stop. The girl smirked and looked at Ken'ichi before stepping into the room.

"Please excuse my sister. She's not really the socio type." Ryu scratched his head as he bowed, "I am Ishida Ryu. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu."

There was a gasp from the two other boys. Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.

"He said—" Genki began.  
"—Ishida." Hachirou continued.

Ryu was about to nod and Ken'ichi was about to ask what the matter was when all of a sudden, Genki and Hachirou began hugging and shaking Ryu at the same time introducing themselves. A surprised Ryu blinked at the sudden "We're-close-friends-call-us-by-name" situation the two were giving him. He sent Ken'ichi a "wtf-is-going-on" look and Ken'ichi shrugged before asking, "What the hell are you doing? Stop that. You're freaking him out."

"Ahh, Ken'ichi! You're so selfish!" Hachirou pouted at Ken'ichi, "Why do you always have the girls?"  
"Ryu is not a girl." Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.  
"That's not what I meant!" Hachirou yelled and stopped, "Wait, did you just… call him by name just like that?"  
"Uh… Yeah?"  
"Hey, he called Yui-san by name, too a while ago, didn't he?" Genki said with an arm around Ryu's shoulders as if being friends with him ever since.  
"You're not being fair!" Hachirou complained and nodded as Genki released Ryu who opted to step beside Ken'ichi.

If this was a joke, Ken'ichi sincerely wasn't getting it. What was he not fair about?

"Yui-san doesn't talk to people so much." Genki explained, "So for her to talk to you like you know each other…"  
"We do know each other… sort of."

It was a weird meeting and calling the twins by name wasn't his choice. And he didn't want to, to begin with. He was just being polite. But it didn't matter since Genki and Hachirou had now backed away from Ken'ichi as if he was some sort of traitor as tears streamed down their eyes. Ryu raised an eyebrow at the weird actions he was picking up from the two.

"What is wrong with you?" Ken'ichi put his hands on his waist.  
"You met a beauty and never told us?"

A beauty?

Ryu then burst into laughter that Ken'ichi fidgeted in surprise. The Ishida boy did not know what was so beautiful about his sister. She was Medusa housed in Aphrodite's body and face. She was a butterfly that stung like a bee _colony_. His sister was not a ten year-old student. She was a ten year-old Quincy.

Yui, who had been reading, lifted her eyes from her book and looked at her brother. He was holding onto Ken'ichi while clutching onto his own midsection at the same time. He was red from the laughing and tears were forming from his eyes. What was so funny? Yui raised an eyebrow at Ken'ichi as if blaming him immediately and the boy got the expression on her face. His eyes widened and took a deep breath before immediately saying, "Hey, I'm not doing anything, girl!"

Yui held the raised eyebrow as she tilted her head before sighing and closing her book. With grace that made the other boys swoon (since Ken'ichi was glaring at Yui and Ryu was busily laughing his sanity off), she walked up to him. She was going to do something. He could feel it in his veins. The girl's arm moved to slap him with her book but the boy was faster and caught her wrist, causing her to drop whatever it was she was holding. Yui's eyes widened and he grinned at her surprised expression.

"Nice try but try again." He muttered. Yui smirked and grabbed her arm back but he held firm and murmured, "I don't get hit by books let alone books held by girls."

"He's holding her arm!" Hachirou gasped, "Ken'ichi always gets the girl."

Upon hearing the comment, the Quincy girl grunted and stepped on Ken'ichi's foot. The boy winced and his fingers loosened intentionally as Yui grabbed her arm back before walking away. He looked at her and gasped upon realizing where she was headed to.

"_That's_ your seat?" Ken'ichi stormed after her and she glared an answer at him. Ken'ichi gritted his teeth as she casually pulled out the chair and sat on it.

Great. Now he had a snobbish girl for a seatmate.

His father better get him that baby brother to quiet him down.

---

"Rukia…" Ichigo complained but she ignored him as he slouched back on the chair, his legs stretched and his arms dangling. He was looking at her from the kitchen table as she busied herself with her Chappy-shaped cookies, which were currently Ichigo's number one enemy. Although he had managed to tear off her clothes the night before, it wasn't like anything productive happened and it was really not good to leave a man tortured from his chanting hormones. She had told him that she was no longer in the mood that night and that she was not interested but perhaps she would be some other time.

… Which he was hoping would be now.

"Rukia…" Ichigo again.

"Ichigo, broad daylight!" Rukia replied and opened the oven to slide the tray in, "You're not being reasonable."

Reasonable? And since when did "loving" have a timetable to follow? He had been groaning at her for two hours now. He did not know why he was feeling such and if someone told him that his wife used an aphrodisiac on him, he would not doubt it at all. What did she want him to do? Get down on his knees and beg like a sissy? He was _not_ doing that. He was man of the house. He was Kurosaki Ichigo. And no one could make Kurosaki Ichigo beg.

"Rukia, please…!"

So much for not begging.

Perhaps he should get an aphrodisiac from Urahara? Or maybe he should just take matters into his own hands? Option two was his nature after all. Ichigo got up and locked his arms around her waist as she removed the washed her hands. Rukia grunted and shoved off his arms but Ichigo insisted on. He pulled closer as he breathed into her hair and she fidgeted a bit from the long moan that danced towards her ears. Rukia gulped.

No.

"Ichigo." She pulled away but he held on fast and started laying random kisses on her.

"Ichigo."

Rukia turned off the faucet. He still wasn't listening.

"Ichigo!" she turned and pushed against him. Her disappointed husband's hands landed on the counter top to cage her as he looked at her. His eyebrows were furrowed and she took a deep breath. She was never going to hear the end of it all.

"Fine but—"

That was all he needed to hear.

Ichigo mashed his lips hungrily against hers that Rukia's eyes widened in surprise. His arms grabbed her towards him, wanting to feel every contour of her body against his so badly. Rukia released small gasps between his kisses but Ichigo was too horny to even care. He was too absorbed with having his way with his wife to even remember that the neighbors might see them outside.

"Ichigo, don't you even care about what we look like!" she told him when he began nibbling on her neck. Ichigo groaned and Rukia assumed it meant "Shut up. Don't care." Rukia grumbled and pushed against him, cursing that he was heavier than he used to be as she continued to try to free herself from his arms. And why would Ichigo care about what they looked like? They were in their house. They could do anything. Seeing that he would refuse to release her, Rukia pulled out her arm and reached for the string and pulled down the roller blinds of the window next to them.

The orange-haired husband groaned at her divided attention and grabbed her hand, bringing her fingers through his hair. He had never told her but it drove him mad whenever she pulled his hair from her desire. With one arm, he lifted her by the waist and with his other arm, he cleared the kitchen table. Rukia gasped at the mess her husband had created but was not able to say anything when he laid her there. She had not yet registered how he had looked like when all of a sudden, he was all over her.

"Ichigo…" Rukia's breath was rasping from all the kissing they had been doing, "The table might collapse."  
"We'll buy another one."

Buy another one? Her husband was insane. That or his hormones were now even stronger than the Hollow that was in him. A kitchen table was not something like manga on a bookstand. But Rukia had no time to process some more especially now that he was flicking his tongue against her neck. She released a prolonged moan when he began to turn his attention to her collarbone. Rukia tugged at his collar, her fingers running against the material of his shirt to find the buttons as she moaned some more. Ichigo got the hint and with one tug, he opened up his button-up shirt and buttons were flying off. Rukia gasped. She was going to have _him_ stitch the buttons back _again_. But that could come later as she was provided a very good view of his body and she lifted her head to satisfy herself when he pushed her head back. She frowned at him and he snickered, "Stay put."

One hand slid down her body and Ichigo rubbed against the material of her dress on her thigh. Rukia moaned and tensed against him as desire slowly filled her head. Ichigo's fingers crawled towards the space between her legs and she whimpered in anticipation when he felt the fabric on her entrance. He snickered upon feeling her and she groaned when he drew his hand back. Ichigo's fingers reached for the button of his trousers to undo them. There was no way he could hold back any longer.

"OH! I AM SO SORRY!"

The female voice that shot through the kitchen made Rukia push her husband clear off her. She could feel herself turn red as she fixed her hair with her hands while looking at one of the open windows where Isane used to be. Ichigo groaned inwardly, not even bothering to care about the mess on the floor or the unkemptness of his shirt. He could hear Isane say something as well as several female voices. Ichigo groaned. Those were the Shinigami Women's Association members.

"Where?" Matsumoto squealed as her head popped from the window. Rukia was sitting on the table and Ichigo was standing with his back facing the window as he crossed his arms.

"Sheesh, Isane, you didn't have to scream!" Matsumoto continued as if Ichigo and Rukia weren't there, "You didn't have to disturb them and the whole show."  
"Aah! How… rude… Matsumoto-san!" Hinamori's small voice piped, "That is a very intimate moment between husband and wife so it's not nice if someone watches."  
"Chigau." Nemu's icy voice said, "Sex is something that occurs when two people of the opposite sex are driven by their hormones to copulate in order to repro—"  
"Enough, okay?" Matsumoto groaned, "Doing it on a kitchen table is not what I'd call intimate."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANYWAY!" Ichigo glared and yelled at the women whose heads could be seen from his kitchen window. If it had lasted a moment longer, Ichigo would have gone Bankai on these Shinigami women and drive them back to Soul Society. So _what_ if he and Rukia were at it on a kitchen table? It's not like it'd affect them or the world or anyone for that matter.

"Weren't you taught how to knock, god damn it!" Ichigo still had his arms crossed over his chest.  
"Oh, but we did!" Matsumoto replied rather innocently, "But no one was answering so we got worried and tried the window instead."

"You mean you got _nosey_!" Ichigo pointed at her accusingly and Isane and Hinamori released an 'eep' as they backed. Rukia, thinking that they were seeing _too much_ of her husband's chest, hopped down the table and told the girls to meet her at the front door as she ushered Ichigo out and away from the kitchen.

"Rukia… Tell them to go away." Ichigo complained.  
"Ichigo, they were already scheduled to visit me today, remember?" Rukia walked with him towards the stairs.  
"Which is more important? This meeting of yours or my hormones in Bankai?"

Rukia sent him a weird stare and the next thing he knew was that he had a new shirt on as he sat in front of his table and doing paperwork. The swishing of the brush did not reach his ears. All he could hear was her moans. The brush didn't seem to be in his hand. All he could feel was the smoothness of her skin. The weird bulge on his trousers wouldn't go. He had tried to satisfy himself alone in the past two hours since the Shinigami Nosey Women's Association had arrived but he was not able to fulfill himself. Perhaps it was her he needed. It was her touch, her body, her skin, her scent — Rukia.

"AGH!" Ichigo grunted at the ink blot on the paper and frustratingly slammed the brush on the table. He leaned back on the chair and angrily scratched his head as he tried to figure out how he was going to make those women leave.

Meanwhile, Rukia was busily entertaining her guests in the living room and Matsumoto had commented randomly on her cookies. Aside from that, she had also been inquiring about Ichigo and if he was ever a kinky husband. Rukia just grinned but did not say anything because, well, she had no idea what "kinky" meant. And if it was about the kitchen scene, she had resigned her self _not_ to talk about it at all. Hinamori had fainted twice from all the sex education she had been receiving from Matsumoto and Nemu and Isane had to revive her each time. Nemu was now talking about cross breeding when Rukia's phone started to ring.

Was it an order?

Rukia reached for her phone and flipped it open.

No.

After politely excusing herself from the group, Rukia then walked away and answered the call.

"Ichigo, what is it!" Rukia whispered annoyingly.

"Help…" Ichigo groaned and hung up. The wife gasped. Was there something wrong with her husband? Perhaps Ichigo suddenly became ill? He did not sound like he was feeling well. To relieve her of her nagging anxiety, Rukia resolved to walk up the stairs and check on Ichigo.

"Ichigo?" Rukia knocked on the room of his study, "Ichigo…?"

He wasn't answering. Rukia held the knob and was surprised to find it unlocked. With curiosity, she slowly pushed the door open but she did not see any orange-haired Ichigo.

"Ichigo?" Rukia blinked as she stepped in. Maybe he was in their room? Rukia was about to turn back when all of a sudden, the door closed. She whipped around in surprise but was pinned to the wall by her husband as she gasped.

"Ichi—"  
"I_need_ to do this with you. _Please_."

Ichigo hated begging but it was the only resort he had.

"Can't you wait or distract yourself or do it yourself or…"  
"You don't think I've tried?" He was glowering in impatience, "Weren't you listening? I told you I need to do this _with_ you. _You're_ the missing factor."

Rukia, although somewhat flattered that Ichigo needed her touch, was still worried about her guests. If they ever heard or saw that she was getting at it with her husband, news will definitely break in Sereitei. From there, one could deduce a very familiar and scary scenery.

_Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi._

"But…"

"This'll take just a moment. Fifteen minutes. Please, Rukia." He implored. She looked down. This wasn't good. The deformation on his trousers had not left and yet, it was appealing. Rukia swallowed and looked away from her husband who was now sniffing her neck as he moaned her name.

"Ichigo, I don't think—"  
"Do you want me to tear your clothes off?" He threatened as he gripped her shoulders and she glared at him. He glared back.

Holy hell, he was serious.

"Okay, but—"

Ichigo heard the response he wanted and in a jiffy, he lifted his wife. His excited fingers undid his trousers as he nibbled on her shoulder when all of a sudden, Matsumoto shouted, "Kuchiki-saaan, we have to leave now!"

"Ara?" Rukia blinked when Ichigo released her and ushered her out the door, mouthing at her to hurry up and go to their room. Rukia's eyebrow was raised as she left and Ichigo hurried off to their bedroom. He could even hear his inner self cheer "Yatta!"

Upon entering their room, he looked around to see if everything was in place so as not to ruin her mood. The bed was full of folded clothes. He grunted and removed it pile by pile while making sure that it was out of the way. Ichigo cleared out anything that could cause them to trip or anything and proceeded to remove his shirt. He was unbuttoning his trousers when the door opened. Like a predator, he smelled her scent and that was enough to make him turn towards the door and slam it closed to pull her towards him. Ichigo picked her up and laid her on the bed.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Rukia asked but he did not answer. She did not press any further since seeing him in his boxers was more than enough to turn her on. Ichigo joined her in the bed and pulled her dress off her body. Rukia gasped at the sudden movement and was surprised that he could even do something like that but was thankful that he had not resorted to tearing off her clothes instead. And if there had been a type of shunpo for undressing, Rukia was not going to be surprised since she could've sworn that both of them were naked before she knew it.

"Ichigo...!"  
"I've had more than enough foreplay." Ichigo muttered in her ear as he settled above her. That was it and he released a sigh of relief as he entered her and Rukia moaned.

But then there was a beep.

Rukia sat up and grabbed the phone nearby as Ichigo pulled out with a heavy groan.

"It's a Hollow." Rukia said.  
"I _know_!" Ichigo complained, "But _please_, let's…"

"We're the only ones near it."

Fate, life, Hueco Mundo and Soul Society were damn conspiring against him! Ichigo just _knew__it_!

- End of Chapter 9 -

* * *

Author: I'M LATE! HOW MANY DAYS LATE! I'm so sorry it took me days to do this but even so-called "Update Goddess" needs a break since I am human and prone to random distractions from time-to-time. –whines- But, hey, Chapter 9 is here and this is a request from someone I will not name. But to you, hey, here's that chap you've been waiting for so I hope you like it, girl! YAY!

I'm excited about the next chapter. I have it in my head and if things go well, it'll be up tomorrow. Woot! Anyway, hope you guys stick around and I hope you still like the story. Thank you so much for reading and sorry for the delay! Love you all!


	10. Am I Dead Or Am I Dreaming?

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Ten : Am I Dead Or Am I Dreaming?**

* * *

Ken'ichi did not know why he was walking home with the twins. Genki and Hachirou had plagued him to invite Ryu to hang out with them at the arcade after school. He knew they were after Yui and they were using Ryu to get to her. Well, Ryu was cool since they shared weird experiences from their parents at least when they talk about it. Besides, he spent one hell of a time playing King of Fighters with him and eye-hand coordination was never so challenging until then. As for Yui, Ken'ichi did not understand what it was with this girl that his friends liked so much. She was edgy and she was bossy. She hated him. She hated boys. She hated weaklings. She hated stuck-ups. She hated the world for all he cared. What's to be interested about? Ken'ichi was in no way interested in her hobbies, her quirks, her foibles or her next attempt to slam something against any part of his body. She had tried to hit him twice this day and him being able to dodge and block did not please her. He had made an enemy out of this witch and he just might forget she was a girl and let his fists do the talking.

"Otousan will not be happy knowing that you blew your allowance." Yui was telling Ryu and the boy pouted at her as he fixed his honey blonde locks from being slightly blown by the gentle breeze from the afternoon.

The raven-haired Kurosaki boy thoughtfully checked his pocket with his hand and sighed. Goodbye, allowance. Byakuya-ojisama would have to pay another visit if he wanted some extra cash. But Ken'ichi would trade a whole month of allowance for a baby brother or sister — whichever the stars provide.

"IYAAAAA!" a shirll female voice shrieked and Ken'ichi looked up to see a girl probably aged five who was running for her life towards them. He gasped. This was not a person. It was a spirit. Ken'ichi gasped as the girl ran past him and he looked towards the direction she had come from. There was a monster after that girl — the monster that ate spirits, what was it called?

"A Hollow." Ryu said with a blink and Ken'ichi could see him touch something on his hand.  
"Ken'ichi, please run home now." Yui said as she straightened and flicked her wrist, "Something came up."

"I'm not leaving the both of you." He said, "I'm not going to run away when that monster tries to eat you up like what he was supposed to do with that girl."

The twins gasped and looked at each other before looking at Ken'ichi and asking, "You saw her?"

"Aa." Ken'ichi nodded.  
"But you don't have any means to—"

A roar and a shaking sound cut whatever Yui was going to say. The strong gust swept over the area and Ken'ichi could feel something humid against his dry skin as the hairs on his skin stood up in a tinge of weirdness. Not once had he encountered something like this and while other people would have their knees shaking in fright, Ken'ichi was more bewildered about how this monster looked like.

"Ken'ichi, go home!" Yui wanted to glare at him but was busy minding her surroundings.  
"I don't need you to tell me what to do!"

Yui gasped and looked at him. He was still standing? That strong gust was reiatsu and even she, with the training she had received, wavered a bit upon feeling it. But this… this… this _Kurosaki_ kid was able to hold his ground with less effort than she thought. But she was not able to sense anything from him at this time.

Kurosaki Ken'ichi. He was definitely something if not someone.

But right now, Ken'ichi was too busy trying to feel where the hell the monster was to even realize that Yui was staring at him — staring as she tried deducing who this person was. And that was her weakness.

She was as open as a scarecrow in a field.

"Yui!" Ryu yelled and in a flash, his arm had swung, "Santen Kesshun! I reject!"  
"What! NO!" Yui shouted.

To Ken'ichi's surprise, from Ryu's hand shot three light beams and formed a triangular shield in front of them, effectively blocking the large mass of fist that was going to ram her body. Ken'ichi would've expected a normal girl to scream but judging from what Ryu did, Ryu was not a normal boy and he should expect that Yui was not a normal girl either.

"He saw it!" Yui told Ryu but was looking at the four-legged Hollow with three eyes and two arms protruding from its back.  
"I had no choice!" Ryu answered back.  
"Go home now, you idiot!" Yui was telling Ken'ichi, "I can't assure you won't get hurt in the crossfire!"  
"Crossfire my ass!" Ken'ichi said sternly, "Your god damn muscles are tensing! I can feel it from here!"

How did he figure that out?

"Here it comes!" Ken'ichi shouted and Yui looked back, extending an arm and immediately drawing an arrow out of thin air. At the same time, six lights from Ryu's hand shot towards Yui. Yui was now holding a bow with a fitted arrow and six more arrows of light were hovering steadily beside her as if waiting for release. Ken'ichi could've sworn he was watching a movie but he did not blink.

The Hollow then charged and Yui released and seven arrows shot towards the monstrosity which hollered more in irritation than in pain. Yui cursed and proceeded to draw another arrow. Six arrows appeared from Ryu's hand and steadied beside the girl again. She released. They shot. Another roar.

"Ryu, can you control those arrows?" Ken'ichi was looking at Yui who drew and attacked consecutively with seven arrows. It prevented the Hollow from stepping too close but at this rate, they were not going to be able to kill it.

"No." Ryu replied, "Although I can release my own arrows at will, the ones coming out now are simply responding to Yui's reaction. Their hers and not mine but she can't control them. It just happens that whenever she draws an arrow while I'm around, the Rikka reacts on its own."

"Not good. Seven arrows released like that won't do much." Ken'ichi grunted as he looked around for anything to use to hit the Hollow.  
"Well, I don't see _you_ doing anything!" Yui growled while continuing to release arrows.

Ken'ichi would've argued if he wasn't feeling a weird sensation. All this energy around him felt so weird and he could feel a spark of warmth from his stomach. It was like something wanted to be released, to be called, to be used. Whatever it was, Ken'ichi was sure it was inside him and that it could help — it would help. But how to access it? He had no clue.

"I'll divert its attention." Ken'ichi said now, "Look for the weak spot. It must have a weak spot."  
"We're not involving—"  
"Are you fast enough?" Yui cut Ryu's words as she continued firing arrows.  
"Yui, we can't—"  
"Was that a question? Of course, I'm fast enough." Ken'ichi grinned, "You watch out for an opening."  
"Okay." Yui nodded and released yet another seven arrows, "Ryu, keep an eye out for Ken'ichi's back."  
"But, Yui…!"  
"What is it with you?" Ken'ichi growled at the other male, "I'm not incompetent. I may not be able to fire anything at will or what but…"

"Stop jabbering and get to work." Yui smirked with another release. Ryu looked at his sister. She was not at her limit but she had consumed half of her reiatsu trying to protect him and Ken'ichi. Yui never really wanted to involve other people when fighting with Hollows so for her to agree to a diversion by Ken'ichi, then there was probably something special about him. Whatever it was, he should ask later.

"Here I go!" Ken'ichi announced and kicked off the ground.

Yui grunted.

"About time."

Ken'ichi darted like a bullet and the Hollow was alert enough to see a young boy full of reiatsu speeding towards him. It roared in what was supposed to be laughter as its arms lifted to crush him. But the boy was fast and he dived and rolled away, grabbing a metal pipe that was conveniently lying around. His fingers wrapped against it. It was a bit heavier than a wooden sword but considering his adrenaline, it was negligible. Especially now that one of its paws was coming at him!

What he learned from training kicked in and Ken'ichi rolled away. As soon as he was able to, the boy swung at the monster's leg. It roared in pain and annoyance. Ryu gasped. That was a reiatsu-influenced attack! He was sure of it because an ordinary metal pipe would've dented if it wasn't influenced with reiatsu. Ryu looked at Yui. She had felt it if not seen it but she was busily keeping an eye out for a good opening to say anything.

Ryu swallowed.

Who was this _Kurosaki Ken'ichi_?

Ken'ichi was side-stepping as if it were normal for him to dodge limb after limb coming at him. There was no way this boy did not receive training! The Hollow roared. Ken'ichi gasped upon feeling something surge from the monster's body.

It was going to blast him with something!

"SANTEN KESSHUN!" Ryu was quick enough to say the incantation as the large ball of light and power formed and shot out from the Hollow's mouth.

"I REJECT!"

Ken'ichi felt the strong force bounce off the triangular shield. Wherever that projectile went, Ken'ichi did not know. What he knew was that he was open as hell! He had a shield in front of him but not at his sides.

The Hollow knew that.

Giant paw at three o'clock!

"KEN'ICHI!"

If it were Yui or Ryu or both who screamed, he could not decipher. Ken'ichi could've sworn his senses were more than jarred and ragged and torn from all different places. He bounced off something, hit something but he was unable to do anything. Something was weird. Something was not right. He felt the street against his back but the pain was not like he had expected him to. Good grief. He felt like he skidded light years away from the spot he had been.

"Oh no!" Yui gasped. Ken'ichi forced his eyes to snap open. Had something happened? He sat up but his knees were too wobbly to immediately get up. He tried steadying his vision to find his companions but what he found was something more confusing.

Why was there a chain on his chest?

By instinct, he followed the chain with his eyes.

"What the hell…?" Ken'ichi spat out upon seeing his body lying unconscious on the street. He looked at himself and then at his body then at himself and back to his body.

What was going on?

Even before he could do anything, the chain broke. Ken'ichi did not know what the hell that chain was but its breakage didn't look like it was something good. But it brought something new to the table.

What used to be a chain turned into a red silky length of what seemed to be cloth — scarlet cloth!

Instinctively, he reached for his chest as the red cloth disappeared. He felt horribly weird upon seeing this but he could not describe what he felt when he saw himself. Why was he wearing a black haori and hakama!

Like a predator smelling blood, the Hollow charged for him. Ken'ichi was too dazed and torn between the two situations before him to figure out what to do. He could see the large monstrosity coming at him at the same time his body was lying on the freaking street like road kill!

Shit, he could already be dead to say the least!

"Shinigami…" Ryu muttered as he eyed Ken'ichi. Yui wanted to curse so badly but she had been taught to concentrate properly even in a situation as intense as this one. But the facts that were unraveling were a great distraction especially to her brother who was too taken aback to even figure out what to do. The Hollow was stepping towards a Shinigami sitting duck and its large foot was going to step on Ken'ichi's body.

No choice.

"SANTEN KESSHUN!" Yui announced in her shrill ten-year old voice and the six arrows around her disappeared, "I REJECT!"

A three-pointed shield formed beneath Ken'ichi's body and the Hollow's limb. The Hollow roared upon realizing this and Ken'ichi snapped to attention.

"Not good!" Yui released a single arrow. The Hollow roared at the girl and turned its attention towards her.

"I'm sorry! I was too slow!" Ryu said as he watched his sister wince. She had been firing arrows consecutively in the past few minutes and it was taking its toll on her. Ryu grabbed his sister by the wrist and led her away as swiftly as he could so as not to get hit by the large monster that was coming at them.

"Ken'ichi, you idiot!" Yui was the one dragging Ryu all of a sudden as they darted for Ken'ichi who was now trying to get up. Ken'ichi wanted to glare at her as she came closer, gripped him by the arm and forcefully pulled him up to his feet. His knees wobbled a bit but he forced his body to support his weight.

"Draw!" she said as she drew out another arrow and six more formed around her. The Hollow was coming at them.  
"What?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"Ken'ichi, you have a sword. Use it." Ryu told him and the young Shinigami looked at his hip.

A katana!

Ken'ichi wanted to ask why the hell there was a katana ready for use but since the situation called for it, he was now just thankful. He quickly posed into the stance he knew. It was weird upon feeling his fingers around the handle but it was even more astounding when he drew. It was a real sword.

His Ojisama was right. A real sword _was_ heavier!

No time to ponder.

Ken'ichi kicked off and swung. He could see an attack coming.

Dodge to the right!

The large limb crashed on the street. Ken'ich could feel the fragments flying around but it was too trivial compared to the matter at hand. Somehow he felt lighter and it was good. Yui was still aiming, waiting, watching… The opening was coming at any minute now but she was afraid their reiatsu would not be enough.

"Ryu, ready up your arrows."  
"What?"  
"I said ready up your arrows and fire with me!"  
"But…"  
"Don't make me say it again!"

Ryu swallowed and nodded. And with a deep breath, he began to mutter something. For some reason, he found it easier using the Rikka than to tap into his Quincy powers. In an instant, his ring dispersed and six arrows were hovering around him in a fashion identical to Yui's.

Ken'ichi yelled as he kicked off from the wall. The Hollow twisted to meet him. Yui's eyes widened. There it is!

"Aim for the open eye!" Yui told Ryu.  
"Okay."

Ken'ichi raised his sword and brought it down from the Hollow's head. It roared as the blade tore through its mask and seconds later, thirteen Quincy arrows shot through the open crack. There was a howl of pain from the Hollow and it backed unbalanced as Ken'ichi landed. It fell with a loud and strong resonance before dispersing before the children's eyes.

"We… we did it!" Ryu blinked, "But I'm out of arrows for today."  
"Ken'ichi." Yui said as she and her brother walked towards the Shinigami boy, "Why didn't you—"

Another roar cut whatever it was the girl was going to say. Another Hollow appeared before them. Ken'ichi cursed. They had not done anything yet when another fell. Yui shrieked. It was the first time Ken'ichi ever heard her shriek.

"Not good." Ryu was looking at the Hollows before them as he backed.  
"What?" Ken'ichi asked and followed suit.  
"Ryu…?" Yui was backing as well.  
"Menos grande. Adjuchas." Ryu gulped and wiped the sweat on his chin, "But I could be wrong."  
"What does that mean?" Ken'ichi blinked.  
"It means let's not take chances." Yui bit her lip, "And make a run for it."

"Aa." Ken'ichi nodded. They would've sprinted off if Yui did not pull Ken'ichi back and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID! Get back into your body!"

Ken'ichi glanced back at his body on the street.

"You mean I'm not dead?"  
"No, you idiot! Get into your body!"

"I don't know how!" Ken'ichi complained and the girl groaned but even before she could insult him, Ken'ichi rushed to his body and picked it up. Yui wanted to raise an eyebrow but decided she could do it while running.

"I feel so stupid carrying myself on my back!" Ken'ichi complained as he dashed with the two. Surprisingly, they were able to keep up.

"Yui-chan, they're going to blast us! This is going to be big!"  
"We better do this together."  
"I doubt it'll do much, though."  
"It won't do anything if you don't have will power, you…"

Ken'ichi wasn't looking but there was a strong energy that was forming behind them.

"NOT GOOD!" Ken'ichi shouted, still feeling horrible for carrying his weight on his back.

"SANTEN KESSHUN!" they chorused but were not able to finish. Yui's body gave out and she stumbled forward. Ryu caught his sister and the three stopped as the girl groaned. Ken'ichi cursed loudly when one of the Adjuchas landed on their other side. Sandwiched by two monstrous things! How wonderful!

Ken'ichi gulped. Goodbye, world. They said your life was supposed to flash before you before you died. Right now, either he was too petrified to see the images or the images were too scared to flash in his head.

"I REJECT!" A definitely older female announced and in an instant, two triangular shields covered them from either side. Ken'ichi gasped. It was the same technique! But Yui and Ryu had not done anything yet! So who…

A blue light shot one of the Adjuchas and it bellowed in retaliation but dropped dead and dispersed. Yet, again, that was Yui's arrow except this one was a hell lot stronger. Who could it be?

"Yui…! Ryu…!"

Ken'ichi saw a ginger-haired woman approach them and he noted that the hairpins on her head were similar to the ring that Ryu wore.

"Okasan!" Ryu exclaimed.

Their mother? That explained it.

"Orihime!"

Ken'ichi looked up and his eyes widened upon seeing a glasses-wearing raven-haired man who was standing with a kick-ass webbed bow with a fitted arrow. It was the same technique! This man was their father! Ken'ichi swallowed as he waited for him to release but the attack never commenced.

"First Dance."

Ken'ichi's ears perked up. He knew that voice.

"White Moon."

A circle of white light formed under the Hollow and from there shot up a white light that froze the monstrosity. Ken'ichi's mouth was open as the light died down. This was a familiar feeling. Somehow, he remembered seeing such a thing before. When was it? Where? Why can't he remember properly? Thoughts probed his head as he looked at the Hollow encased in an icy prison.

But that was it. The sight would not last long because a giant sword was brought down from the air, slicing the ice and the Hollow in it. The ground shook with a roar equal to the battle cry…

… from a man with orange hair, a black haori and hakama.

What? There was only one man in Karakura with orange hair and that was…

"Ichigo?" Uryuu's bow dispersed and Ichigo looked back and his eyes widened. Ken'ichi could see his mother in the same outfit walking towards them.

"Ichigo?" Uryuu blinked as his bow dispersed.  
"Uryuu?" Ichigo blinked.  
"Rukia?" That was Orihime.  
"Orihime?" Rukia's eyes widened.

Ken'ichi grunted and looked at his own face on his own head that was resting on his own shoulder that he was carrying on his own damn back.

It was aggravating!

"Riiiiight! And I'm Ken'ichi. Ryu. Yui." He pointed sarcastically, "Now that we're done introducing ourselves, can someone tell me what the hell is going on!"

- End of Chapter 10 -

* * *

Author: Yay, chapter 10! I hope I'm not late and I hope I didn't disappoint you with how Ken'ichi discovered he was Shinigami. Of course, it doesn't end here and the whole situation will get complicated. If you followed my trilogy, I guess I didn't have to tell you. –glomps you- Thank you for reading! Please review! The twist is yet to be revealed! Bankai to us all! –does a silly dance- And thank you for the e-given things especially those who added me on Friendster and DA. I have seen several quoting from my stories and I am really happy and flattered. I hope you post a link to my trilogy or my page if possible. Thank you and I love you all! –glomps and smooches- 


	11. The Day My Son Became A Shinigami

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Eleven : The Day My Son Became A Shinigami**

* * *

Black haori.

Black hakama.

Katana, no, Zanpakutou.

Everything about Ken'ichi right now was nothing more and nothing less but Shinigami material. It had finally happened. Ichigo's greatest fear had come to life.

Rukia's mouth was wide open and if Ichigo's hair could change color with his face, it would've driven Toushiro Hitsugaya's hair to shame. Ken'ichi was standing carrying an exact replica of himself. Did he have twins? Last time he recalled, well, no. So why were there two Ken'ichi's before him and why was one was carrying the unconscious other? Ichigo wished this better be a "do-a-mannequin" of yourself project and that the black kimono was only coincidence.

Damn. There wasn't much in the world that consisted of coincidence for Ichigo.

"I…" Rukia slowly walked towards her son who was pouting at her. She lifted the boy's Shinigami face towards her and looked at the body he was carrying. She didn't give birth to identical twins, did she? No.

"This is you." She pointed at the body and looked at her pouting Shinigami son, "But you're you, too."

"Okasan, why are we wearing the same clothes?" Ken'ichi blinked and looked at his father, "And why is Otousan looking like an anemic teenager?"

Ken'ichi gasped.

"AND BOTH OF YOU LOOK A HELL LOT YOUNGER! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON!"

The skull badge tied onto Ichigo's right arm caught the boy's attention. That was the thing he was told never to touch. That was a so-called "heirloom".

Heirloom.

It wasn't just an heirloom. Why was his father wearing it? It looked like a badge, an insignia, a symbol. What was it? It had a skull on it. What did skulls mean? Evil? Death? Kurosaki Ichigo the Grim Reaper? No.

"You didn't tell him?" Uryuu was looking at Ichigo who was too occupied considering his options to even tell the Quincy to shut up.  
"Tell me what?" Ken'ichi blinked.

"Otousan, what is it that I should know?" Ken'ichi was seriously staring at his father, "Why are you and Okasan wearing black kimonos like me? And why do you have such a huge sword with you? I've never seen that before. Is there something I don't know?"

"Well…" Ichigo scratched his head.  
"And why am I out of my body and not dead?" Ken'ichi asked his mother, "Does this mean you're out of your bodies, too?"

Ichigo was forcing his mind to shunpo-think. His son was deducing things pretty rapidly and Uryuu over here just might spill whatever he was hiding. Wait a minute. Hide? Was Ichigo supposed to tell his son that having an out of body experience was a normal family thing? Or should he use the memory eraser? It wouldn't work. His son was Shinigami. The thing didn't work on Shinigami.

"Before anything, are you hurt?" Rukia asked as she knelt beside Ken'ichi, "What happened? Did the Hollow hit you?"  
"It hit me. That's why my soul flew out of my body, right?" Ken'ichi blinked.

Wait. That wasn't right. If his "soul" flew out of his body because he got hit then would that mean that his parents got hit, too? No. His father was definitely better than that. And why the sudden change in physical appearance? His parents looked like a high school student. Ken'ichi looked at himself. He was still him. Ichigo did not say anything but lifted his son's body and held it up before Ken'ichi and said, "Get back in."

There was hesitation in the boy's eyes — hesitation, anxiety and question. But the boy did not move an inch. He did not even nod. Ken'ichi was in thought, trying to make something sensible out of the situation but it seemed that his position called for more information than he currently had. He had more theories than facts. A black haori, black hakama, swords, the heirloom, the teenage look and his body… Were those even facts or evidence?

Ken'ichi had to know.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." Ken'ichi's eyebrows were furrowing.

Persistent just like his father. Rukia held her hands to herself as she looked at her son.

"Get inside your body." Ichigo said again as if ignoring what his son had been asking.

"What is this!" Ken'ichi drew out his sword and showed it to his father. Ichigo wanted to say something. His heart skipped beats as he looked at his son holding up his own Zanpakuktou.

What could be its name? What could it do? What does it look like when it's released?

Many questions.

But not to be answered yet.

"Why do I have this! Souls don't have this!" Ken'ichi insisted.  
"Ken'ichi…" Rukia began.  
"I've seen a lot of spirits with broken chains but none with swords!" Ken'ichi gripped the handle in his small fingers, "You're out of your body and yet you're not a spirit! You have a sword! What is this about!"  
"Ken'ichi." Ichigo was trying to be stern but inwardly, his whole self was running in random and countless circles.  
"I'm not doing anything unless I get answers!" Ken'ichi insisted as he gripped harder. The blade was shaking as he growled at his father who was not changing expression.

If there was one fact Ken'ichi had right now, it was that his father was trying to hide something from him.

"What are you! What am I!" Ken'ichi had been telling himself he wouldn't cry but his young mind was not able to deduce anything more. He hated it when there was something he didn't handle or didn't understand.

"Black haori, black hakama, swords and spirits…" Ken'ichi's voice was breaking, "What is going on? Is this why you were insisting on me learning? Byakuya-ojisama, is he like this, too? What about—"

"Get back inside your body." Ichigo's fingers were tightening on his son's body's shoulders, "Now."

"Tell me why I have a sword!" Ken'ichi insisted on stretching out his hand and pointed his sword at his own body, "I don't even know if that body is me! Who is that!"

"This is you."  
"No,_I'm_ me and I don't know what I am."  
"You are my son."  
"I know that already! At least tell me why I have a sword, Otousan!"

"That is a Zanpakutou." Rukia said lowly and Ichigo gasped as father and son turned to the shaking mother beside her son. Rukia's voice resonated even only in their heads. Ichigo could hear his heart beat rapidly as if trying to break out from his chest.

"Zan… pakutou?" Ken'ichi repeated thoughtfully as he looked at his mother. Her answer soothed him somehow. So she knew? So they knew? For how long? Why? When? He needed more. He needed answers. Ken'ichi had to find out.

"A Zanpakutou… A soul slayer. You are…" Rukia began.  
"Rukia!" Ichigo interrupted.

_No, Ichigo. You're not stopping me._

"You are a Shinigami!" Rukia continued amidst Ichigo's voice and she closed her eyes tightly, tears falling from her eyes as if being pained about keeping the truth. Ken'ichi's eyes widened and his arm lowered the sword as his mouth slightly opened. His mother was shaking in tears as he looked at her.

Shinigami.

Death god.

Do those things even exist? Ken'ichi looked at himself. Well, he existed and his mother told him he was a Shinigami.

Shinigami.

Just how outrageous is that?

Outrageous? What about Ryu and Yui? Were they Shinigami, too? Why did they have weird skills like the shield and the arrows? They had knowledge about Hollows. Menos Grande. Adjuchas. Crap, Ken'ichi did not even know what those were and yet Ryu did. So it meant their parents had been teaching them. Were their parents Shinigami? Why wasn't he told he was a Shinigami? Was it so bad to be one? Should he be mad? Should he be happy?

Black haori, black hakama, Zanpakutou, Shinigami… What would come after the train of words? The answers were not enough — at least not at this point.

"Shinigami…" Ken'ichi repeated to himself thoughtfully, "Shini—"

THWUG!

A hit. Pain. Orange hair. His father's scent.

"For your own good."

The dropping of a sword.

"O… tousan…"

Darkness.

Ken'ichi fell unconscious and Ichigo caught him. Rukia gasped and blinked disbelievingly as Ichigo returned Ken'ichi back to his body. The mother gripped her hakama as she shuddered, waiting for her husband to look at her as he carried his son but he did not. Rukia knew that he knew he was wrong. He wanted to escape. Why would he want to escape? Escaping was never his style.

"Why?" she asked as she got up wobbly, "You hit him because he…"  
"He's not ready." Was the solid answer but Rukia wasn't taking it at all.  
"He already knows."  
"He knows nothing."  
"Ken'ichi has transformed into a Shinigami already! There is _nothing_ you can do anymore!"

"Shut up, Rukia!" Ichigo glared and she gasped, backing away from his angry eyes. Ichigo softened upon seeing his wife look at him as if he was a stranger. He was trying hard not to grip so hard against the body of his son.

Uryuu cleared his throat.

"If you want to fight, do it some place else where my children won't see you."

Rukia and Ichigo gasped. What was that?

Children?

Ichigo looked at the little girl who was now sitting up as Soten Kisshun finished the healing process. The honey blonde haired boy was looking up at him and Ichigo blinked. The boy gasped and inched towards his sister.

"Uryuu, you had children?" Ichigo asked the raven-haired Quincy who was looking at anything but the people around him.

Uryuu did not answer and Ichigo assumed it was a yes.

"With who?" Ichigo asked again.

Still no answer. Was it something that's already understood?

Ichigo looked at Orihime who was busy stroking the little girl's brown hair. Yui was frowning and Ryu was looking disturbed.

"With Orihime?" Ichigo said thoughtlessly and Orihime nodded. Ichigo looked up at Uryuu in disbelief, "You got married? Since when? Why didn't you tell us?"

Yui grunted and got up. With much gravity, she looked at Ichigo who immediately recognized Ishida's trademark Quincy stare. She was his daughter. The way she glared, the way she stood, the reiatsu around her — Uryuu Ishida. He could not be mistaken. But then, as Ichigo was in the middle of looking thoughtfully at Yui, she turned and grabbed Ryu, lifting him up to his feet.

"Y-Yui-chan…?" Ryu stuttered at his sister but was looking at Ichigo. Yui glanced at her mother. Orihime looked away. She glanced at her father. Ishida was not looking as well. She sighed heavily to manifest disappointment and without looking at any of them, she stormed off with only her brother's name escaping her lips. The boy opened his mouth to call her but didn't. Ryu looked at his mother who nodded and he faced Ichigo and Rukia. He bowed at them, excused himself properly and ran after his sister.

"Those children…" Rukia began as she looked at Orihime.  
"Mine and Uryuu's…" the girl continued with a soft smile as she looked up at Rukia, "Both about ten years old…"

Ten years old? Both? They had twins? It meant that Orihime and Uryuu had children the same year as she bore Ken'ichi. But it wouldn't make sense. Uryuu studied and finished college with Ichigo. Orihime was in Tokyo for a long time. They got married? When? How? Why? The children… How were they able to hide the children? And for a decade even? Why?

"I can't believe you hit your own son." Uryuu looked at the sleeping boy in Ichigo's arms, "It's not his fault he's Shinigami, you know."  
"And I can't believe you didn't tell us _you_ had a son and daughter." Ichigo looked at Uryuu, "But what happened to you, man? I mean… Well, I mean just that. What the hell happened to you?"

"It's quite a long story."

Yes, ten long years is indeed a long time.

---

_Ken'ichi…_

Someone's there.

_Do you hear me?_

Ken'ichi fidgeted but his eyes were still closed. Somehow he could not open them and he couldn't move so much. He registered the events. Nothing was coming into his head. Had he lost his memory? He was Kurosaki Ken'ichi, son of Kurosaki Ichigo and—

"Augh."

Headache.

_Do not think while you are here._

Where the hell was he to begin with? Ken'ichi struggled to open his eyes but couldn't. Perhaps he should figure out to whom the voice belonged to?

_Listen to me._

"Crap. Who are you?"

Ken'ichi was speaking. He could hear his own voice but he did not feel his mouth open. What was going on?

_Do you want to be strong?_

"Strong?"

_I will lend you my power if you want to be stronger._

"Lend me what?"

_I will make you understand._

"Understand…"

Yes, there was something Ken'ichi wanted to know about but at that point, he couldn't remember properly. Oh… His eyes were getting wet. Why?

_But you have to promise me something…_

"Promise you what?"

_We have to make a pact._

"This is ridiculous."

_You will use my power alone_.

"You're talking as if I have no choice."

_You HAVE no choice._

"Who are you?"

_My name…? I am…_

The darkness deepened like an unending abyss where Ken'ichi felt himself plunge.

"What? I didn't hear you! Wait!"

Ken'ichi felt his body hit the ground.

And then nothingness.

- End of Chapter 11 -

* * *

Author: Could this be classified as a cliffie? Don't hate me? At least I have chapter 11 up now, eh? –innocent smile- Whee! This was supposed to be on for like four hours earlier. Me ish working on an FAQ. Don't know if ever it'll be up. Haha. Weird me. Okay, I feel strange. Let's hope I'm fine to finish up chapter 12 today. I would if I were normal. –is frowning- I'm not making sense.

Thanks for reading and hope you review! I love you guys!


	12. After Ten Damn Years

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twelve : After Ten Damn Years**

* * *

"Yui-chan, it's nice seeing you worried for someone like Ken'ichi."  
"Shut up, I'm not worried. He's a Shinigami and we have to keep an eye on him."  
"Your name… I didn't catch your name…"

---

"Are you sure your children are fine?" Jinta frowned as he watched Ichigo, Rukia, Uryuu and Orihime share alcoholic drinks with Urahara and Yoruichi while their children were in one room. They arrived with a pouting girl, a cheerful boy and an unconscious boy and Urahara broke into what Jinta called "over reacting" tears upon seeing the four together again. In his happiness, he contacted Yoruichi and who knew how he did it.

"Araaaa, Jinta-kun is all grown up now!" Orihime clapped as she looked at Jinta, "Do you have a girlfriend now?"  
"No." Jinta pouted.  
"Do you have a prospect about it?" she asked again, "Like an ideal or something?"

Jinta did not have to look to understand or realize that there was an orange-haired older brother who was listening, waiting and looking at him. He denied himself a gulp and got up to just lock himself up in his room until the freaks were gone. With all due respect, ever since they met these freaking bastards, life had never been the same and by that he meant "kami, where the hell is peace"! But just as Jinta expected his foot to meet the floor, he hit something else instead.

Another foot.

The boy growled and looked up.

"What the cra—"

Kenseikan.

Jinta immediately lifted his foot as a red-haired fukutaichou stepped out of the sliding door portal from another world. Byakuya had only spared him a glance to signal him to remove his foot but not to acknowledge him. Jinta hated it when Shinigami treated him this way and he frowned at Renji, cursing his eyebrows for the heck and the Lieutenant glared at him. Jinta pouted and left, glad to be rid of Shinigami around him.

"Hey, Rukia, looking good! Oh, you're having sake!" Renji's face beamed upon seeing her and she simply smiled back.

"Yes, you bastard, with her husband right here and konbanwa to you, too!" Ichigo replied, a strong arm wrapping around his wife's shoulders and drawing her somehow awkwardly closer that her skirt inched higher. Ichigo noticed and pulled it back down, glaring at Renji to accuse him of something. Ten damn years had passed and this strawberry airhead was still so possessive of his wife. Ten damn years and Renji still was hoping for a separation between Ichigo and Rukia.

Ten god damn years.

"Where is my nephew?" Byakuya asked Ichigo.  
"He's asleep in the other room." Ichigo replied as he watched Rukia pour him some sake, "What're you here for, Byakuya?"

"To take my nephew to Sereitei."

Rukia gasped but Ichigo sipped his sake casually and merely looked at him as if he had said nothing. After a few blinks, Ichigo sipped again and said, "And what made you think you can take him?"

"I can."  
"Sure, little Byakuya." Yoruichi laughed, "Ever heard of kidnapping?"

Byakuya glared at Yoruichi who continued to laugh at him. Urahara was smiling under his fan as Renji looked longingly at the sake, wishing that his captain would sit down so he could follow suit and drink.

"He turned into Shinigami." Byakuya said again. Urahara and Yoruichi stopped and blinked but Ichigo shrugged, "So he did. What is it to you?"

"I'm taking him." Byakuya motioned to leave the room but Ichigo motioned to get up if he inched any closer towards the location of his son. Byakuya stopped and looked at Ichigo but only with eyes moving. The orange-haired equal-to-captain Shinigami Representative stared back. Renji gulped. Urahara just prayed they wouldn't tear down his shop.

"My son is sleeping. Don't bother him and let him savor the last moment of his innocence." Ichigo said and threw a ceramic cup at Byakuya who effortlessly caught it. Ichigo smirked with a smug grin, "The moment he wakes up, he won't be normal so if you won't sit down to drink sake with us, go back to you where you came from."

"I was also asked to get your paper work."

"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN ALREADY, BYAKUYA!" Ichigo glared and Rukia laughed. Byakuya looked at the ceramic cup in his hand before sighing and fixing his scarf before ceremoniously walking towards the group and joining. Renji then stripped himself of all ceremonious activities and picked up one of the sake bottles before making his way beside Rukia.

"Finally, a break!" Renji laughed.  
"Go return to your Captain's side, funky eyebrows." Ichigo nodded towards Byakuya.

"Who do you think you—" Renji stopped and bit his lip in annoyance upon seeing the grin that made its way across Ichigo's face. He just _knew_ Ichigo was expecting him to say that and the freaking Shinigami Representative was always so eager to answer him.

"I'm Shinigami Representative." Ichigo replied.

Ichigo used to be _just_ Shinigami Representative. Ten years later and Shinigami Representative was now a rank equal to a Captain and a Captain was higher than a _Vice_-Captain so unless Renji takes the place of old man Yamamoto, there was no way he could order Ichigo around — even if Renji became Captain. Screw it. Ten years and he still hadn't memorized it properly.

"Now go back to your Captain's side."

Renji grunted. He knew what was coming afterwards.

"That's an order."

Renji wanted to grab Ichigo and bang his body on all four corners of the room over and over again. Screw Sereitei's system! Ever since Rukia gave her powers to Ichigo, the whole of Sereitei went topsy-turvy and Renji had no idea what someone would come up with next. With much hatred towards the orange-haired rival who had stolen Rukia, Renji stomped beside his Captain who was busily sipping sake.

"Ten years, Abarai, and still you don't understand his rank." Yoruichi shrugged as she brought the sake bottle up to her lips and gulped. With a prolonged "aah", she smiled and leaned back, looking at Byakuya who was still silently sipping his sake. The man was becoming lenient. That was good.

"So, Kurosaki, your son became Shinigami today, huh?" Urahara fanned himself, "How did it happen?"

"Well, my son was hanging out with _someone's_ kids when they were attacked by a Hollow." Ichigo replied and looked at Uryuu. Renji was just about to gulp the sake in but burst it all out upon his realization. Rukia groaned in disgust and Orhime gasped. Byakuya looked at Renji as if to deny that he had nothing to do with the red-headed disgrace beside him.

"You have _children_!" Renji blurted out as he pointed at Uryuu and Orihime, "What, did you speed up their growth rate or something because we totally missed it!"

"It's complicated." Uryuu replied.

"Ishida, it's been ten years and you went to college to be an idiot?" Yoruichi said with a sarcastic frown, "Even if you said you had a kid with four eyes and can speak Latin backwards since birth, we wouldn't be surprised because the world we belong to is already complicated so complicated is normal."

Uryuu merely looked at Yoruichi. She made it sound like he belonged to a "world" of circus.

"To put it short, my father wanted me to hide them because Orihime and I were still students when she was pregnant." Uryuu looked at the sake in his shallow ceramic cup, "I had to keep my family a secret along with the children. Things only became stable after ten years so…"

"So you were forced to show them only now?" Rukia asked. Uryuu nodded.  
"Well, I knew it." Yoruichi scratched her head, "It's not complicated at all. College made you dumb."  
"Aah, but it's not easy for our kids to know they've been kept from the people we knew!" Orihime complained as she held on to an empty ceramic cup.  
"So they're Quincy, too?" Renji blinked.

"Yes! Rikka-wielding Quincy twins." Orihime clapped and Uryuu always felt something strange whenever she called their children like that. Rikka-wielding Quincy Twins, Twin Quincy Rikka, Shun Shun Rikka Quincy Pair… He was now wondering if Rukia came up with something to call her son.

"That is good. At least they know their origins." Byakuya was saying now as he poured himself some sake.  
"Life is complicated enough as it is." Ichigo said and poured sake for his wife.  
"I'm just happy I'm going to be able to teach my son kidou!" Rukia was smiling dreamily, "He will be a wonderful kidou user."  
"I'm going to teach him…" Renji began thoughtfully.

"No, you've taught him enough about star alignment already." Ichigo frowned at the Lieutenant, "Honestly, Renji, why the hell did you tell my son that the positioning of the stars affects the baby's gender? Just how stupid is that?"

Uryuu was about to drink some sake but stopped upon hearing the comment. He sent a "wtf" look at Renji and highly considered drawing a safe distance between his children and this man until they are of proper age. Considering his children's characters, Yui would probably tear off his scalp for sheer stupidity and Ryu would be plunged into a depth of a hundred and one nightmares worth of mental images.

"He heard me talking and I didn't know what to say." Renji began.  
"Talking?" Rukia raised an eyebrow, "Talking about what?"

Renji paused and eyed each one. He was going to make a big fool out of himself so if someone was going to stab him unconscious, let it happen now.

"Kama Sutra."

"WHAT THE HELL!" Ichigo blasted, spilling some of the beloved sake as Rukia pulled him back from wanting to kick Renji.  
"One time, when I was at your place, Shuuhei called me and we were talking about it." Renji busied himself with pouring sake and Byakuya eyed him disturbingly as Renji filled a cup for his Captain.  
"And…?" Rukia tilted her head with a gaze that seemed to be a threat with an urge for him to continue.

"And your kid overheard me talking and he asked me what Kama Sutra was and I said it was none of his business." Renji put the sake bottle down, "But your kid is Kurosaki so he pestered my by saying 'Kama Sutra! Kama Sutra!' over and over again and louder each time. I got so freaking ticked off and told him it was about positions."

"God damn you." Uryuu said thoughtlessly but with a tinge of horror in his voice.

"Well, I wasn't lying and I thought that'd get him." Renji shrugged and lifted his cup, "But he's a mixture of Ichigo and Rukia and the Rukia part wanted to know more. And he asked me what positions were those about. And I told him it was related to babies but that got him more interested and asked _what_ was making the positions."

"You bastard." Uryuu said again, the instincts of a father feeling for his son being fed wrong information and innocence-stripping data kicking in. Ichigo was holding back from reacting until the whole story was over.

"What did you tell him?" Orihime asked, "You lied, didn't you?"  
"Of course, I lied!" Renji exclaimed and sipped his sake, "I said the alignment of the stars determined the baby's gender."

Silence.

Abarai Renji was now President, King, Captain, Emperor and embodiment of all that was stupid and highly ridiculous — at least for that moment.

"You idiot!" Ichigo pointed at Renji, "So now my son thinks Kama Sutra is _astrology_!? You're making things hard for parents, you know that?"  
"Would you rather have me tell him the truth?" Renji shouted back.  
"Why the hell were you talking about Kama Sutra over the phone and in my house where my kid lives!" Ichigo complained as he put the ceramic cup down before he could throw it at Renji's breathtaking hairline.  
"Why should I even tell you?"  
"You_tarnished_ my son, you fool." Rukia said flatly, picking up the cup that Ichigo released and filling it.

"Remind me to keep my son away from you." Uryuu said in disgust.  
"Remind me not to have a son." Urahara said. The man had dropped his fan in surprise and his hand was looking around for it as he looked disbelievingly at Renji.

"Sheesh, Abarai." Yoruichi raised an eyebrow as she offered her cup to Urahara for him to fill, "I don't know what to say. The color of your hair probably eats so much of your brain cells."

"I remember when Ryu found the Kama Sutra CD lying around the house." Orihime said thoughtfully after taking a gentle sip from her cup. Uryuu's fingers had clumsily released his and the sake spilled on the floor. He fidgeted, shifting away from the liquid as Urahara handed him a cloth to wipe it.

"You have a Kama Sutra CD in your house?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow at Uryuu.  
"And I suppose you have a Kama Sutra _chart_ on your wall instead?" a blushing Uryuu replied as he wiped the sake on the floor.

Rukia gasped. If it helped, that could make things a bit easier.

"No." Ichigo replied, "But I don't have a CD lying around the house."  
"May I borrow that CD?" Renji asked.  
"Abarai, you just bought one from me last time!" Urahara exclaimed and then paused, realizing that he wasn't supposed to say that.  
"Yeah, but taichou confiscated it…again." Renji drank his sake.  
"You_sell_ Kama Sutra CD's?" Rukia was looking unbelievingly at Urahara since no one was interested in asking Byakuya about where he took the confiscated material, "Seriously?"

Urahara Kisuke merely put a hand on his hat, grinned and bowed.

It was probably his version of, "I'm sorry but yes."  
"Kurosaki, would you like a Shikai instruction manual?" Urahara smiled at Ichigo, "Your son is going to need it."  
"No need." Byakuya finally spoke, "I will have him achieve Shikai."  
"Why not let the father do it?" Yoruichi asked.  
"Well, first, I don't know crap about Shikai." Ichigo leaned back on his palms, "And as much as I hate to admit it, Byaku-brat over here has the elegance my son needs."  
"Finally, after ten years, the truth spouts from you." Byakuya said as he nodded in approval.

"And the truth hurts like hell." Ichigo complained, "And I'm sure old man Yamamoto would like to take a good look at my son. I'm not taking him to Soul Society until he is able to show them Shikai. I don't care what it is but once my son releases, he will surely kick ass."

Rukia looked at Ichigo thoughtfully. He was letting loose of his feelings now and she could feel his excitement. It was burning vividly in his eyes and the fist on his leg proved much. She touched his knuckles gently and he put his other hand on hers. He squeezed her fingers between his and she smiled, feeling his thoughts. Rukia was fond of this kind of communication and it never ceased to astonish her whenever they exchanged thoughts through gestures.

Ichigo wanted his son to surpass someone. It wasn't the child genius Toushiro Hitsugaya. It wasn't his uncle, Kuchiki Byakuya. Hell, it wasn't even Commander General Yamamoto.

Rukia knew Ichigo very well.

Ichigo wanted Ken'ichi to surpass him — his own father.

"How long before my son achieves Shikai?" Ichigo asked Byakuya.  
"Too early to say. We haven't even started yet." Byakuya replied, "But your son is able to control reiatsu well… Unlike his father."

Renji laughed.

"And_you_ are laughing because?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.  
"Perhaps we should see the immensely tiny glow again?" Uryuu lifted his glasses.  
"I have something _else_ that's not tiny!" Renji snickered menacingly and naughtily, "And it's not my sword."

"Renji, you even _think_ of saying something horrible and I will see to it that your hair is used as a brush." Byakuya said.

Ichigo chuckled. Byakuya was now using punch lines.

"Tsch, you're lucky my Captain stopped me." Renji waved and gulped down sake.  
"You mean you're lucky you got stopped." Ichigo sneered and Uryuu shook his head. Urahara continued to fan himself thoughtfully as he eyed each person in the room.

Ten long years, huh?

"Oi, Ichigo, when are you planning to give your boy a brother or a sister?" Yoruichi nodded at Ichigo and Rukia drank up all the sake in her cup. Yoruichi grinned at the couple as Uryuu tried to keep away from her sight to avoid being talked about. Why should he hide? Perhaps _he_ was the one who was into kinky things.

"Disturbing news reached me." Byakuya said lowly, formally putting the cup down as he looked at Ichigo.  
"Yeah? What?"

Byakuya paused. Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"I have no business with what you do when you are alone with Rukia." Byakuya began, "But please do not do it in plain sight."

Ichigo's eyes widened and Rukia's hands flew to her mouth. Byakuya better not say anything more or else…

"And if on a kitchen table, please close the windows." Byakuya continued.

It's those women's fault! Those freaky Shinigami women! That association should be dissolved for the very fact that they were peeking from his window and without his consent. How dare they even tell Byakuya about it!

"Kitchen…" Orihime began, "…Table…"

The way Orihime said it did not sound like she was surprised. She was rather interested and she looked at Uryuu who refused to look at her. He knew very well what she wanted to say.

Uryuu, we should try that sometime.

They had two children and she screamed when in pleasure. Not that Uryuu complained, though, since he loved hearing her scream but the problem was they had kids. He was seriously considering about sound proofing their room so that she could scream as much as he, er, she wanted.

"Rukia, didn't the table collapse?" Orihime asked.  
"W-what…?" Rukia turned red as she blinked at the Ishida woman.  
"I mean, it'll shake and…"  
"O-Orihime…" Ishida wanted to cover her mouth as he shook his head to tell her to stop. His wife only blinked at him but said nothing more.

"Kitchen table." Renji muttered to himself and Ichigo noticed Renji's dazed state. His eyes were venturing _past_ the wall and his mouth was slightly open and his shoulders were dropped.

"Oi, you hentai, what are you thinking about?" Ichigo motioned to throw a sake bottle at him. Renji blinked and regained composure as he cleared his throat. Ichigo grunted. This bastard better be not thinking about Rukia or he was going to use Zangetsu to erase all his body tattoos!

"I'm not a pervert…!" Renji said and it was unclear whether or not he was raising his eyebrow.  
"Ara, but you looked like one a while ago, ne?" Urahara commented and Yoruichi nodded. Byakuya nodded and Uryuu nodded.  
"It kind of looked like that." Orihime said with a blink.  
"You're all rigged!" Renji grabbed the sake bottle and drank the contents.

"Yo, Kisuke, why don't you get that sing-along microphone of yours! It's been a hundred years since I heard little Byakuya sing!" Yoruichi pointed at her friend who stood up as he agreed to her wonderful comment. Everything flashed in Ichigo's head. The drinking tryst, the Karaoke, the Ishida and Inoue make-out session, the hangover…

He looked at Rukia.

Rukia.

Ichigo smiled inwardly and got up to get two sake bottles. Byakuya watched the orange-haired brother-in-law approach and hand him one of the bottles. The kenseikian-wearing Captain looked at Ichigo and then at the bottle as a silent question about his intentions. Ichigo smirked but nevertheless wore the wide grin on his face.

"Like ten years ago…"

Byakuya looked at the bottle Ichigo was holding.

"…_Niisama._"

The noble looked convinced and took the bottle. Ichigo slumped beside him and after what seemed to be a silent signal of three counts, both men brought the bottle to their lips in a drinking contest.

"Brings back memories." Uryuu smiled inwardly.  
"We're going to hear him sing again!" Orihime laughed as she clapped, "Go, go Kuchiki-taichou!"

"What!" Renji wore his eyes wide and turned to his Captain who wasn't giving up against Ichigo who was doing the same.

"Taichou, you can sing!?"

Rukia laughed as she looked at the recording video on her phone.

Later, she was going to compare this video with the one she had taken ten damn years ago.

- End of Chapter 12 -

* * *

Author: Yay! I managed to update again today! Me ish happy! I like this chappie because it was a challenge keeping them in character and at the same time making sure they have changed according to my story. I don't know if I did fine but I hope I did. –e-showers confetti on us- Thanks to those who read! I love you guys! Please review! The twist is coming but we need a break from the Ken'ichi centering, don't you think? BANKAI TO US ALL! 


	13. Shinigami, Sake and Sounds

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Thirteen : Shinigami, Sake and Sounds**

* * *

After making sure that Urahara had readied up an expensive pill for Byakuya and Renji in case they needed to immediately sober up, the small festivity began. After all, when the need arises, the Captain and his Lieutenant had to soberly return to Sereitei or Yamamoto will kill them even if he had to use his beard in a Bankai. Although Urahara's sake did not pose hangovers, it did promise weird sensations… probably even weirder than real sake. And, yes, it could affect souls even when out of a gigai.

Urahara never failed to surprise.

And now that Byakuya was singing Hare Hare Yukai with Urahara and Renji as back up dancers, what could've been more interesting? Yoruichi had nearly killed herself laughing as she doubled over.

Uryuu and Orihime had locked themselves up in the bathroom and nobody bothered to ask what was taking them so long. And they all assumed it was the alcohol that caused them to hear weird sounds from said room and they silently swore never to speak of it afterwards for their _own_ sake. It was good that they were singing but Byakuya kept on complaining about the second voice (the Ishida couple in the bathroom) being "in the wrong key".

"Encore! Encore!" Yoruichi shouted. Ichigo slightly groaned. The woman was only encouraging Byaku-brat _not_ to let go of the mic. Not that he wanted to sing but Ichigo was a bit disturbed seeing Byakuya in his Shinigami garb as he sang around the room. If that mic had been a sword, it would've launched itself to Bankai by now.

"Oi, Ichigo." Renji called and Ichigo looked at the Lieutenant signaling him with a finger.

"You're the one who needs something. You come over here." Ichigo lifted a leg and rested an arm on his knee as Rukia poured sake for him. Renji pouted and got up as he grumbled at it was not clear whether he saw some sense into Ichigo's words or just did not want to argue.

"Ichigo." Renji practically landed on his bottom as he sat lousily in front of the Shinigami Representative who was busily telling his mind to forever rid of the horrible sitting object, um, Lieutenant in front of him. But all of Ichigo's thoughts were cut when to strong arms gripped his shoulders.

"Oi!" Ichigo exclaimed.  
"Renji, stop th—!"

Rukia was not able to finish since her jaw seemed to be immobile as soon as Renji flung his arms around her husband. Rukia released a small shriek as she watched Renji entrap her husband into what was supposed to be a heart-warming and emotional _bear hug_ no matter how _wrong_ it seemed. A highly freaked out Ichigo yelped as he struggled against Renji who was saying something no one could understand because he was speaking onto Ichigo's shoulder. Oh, great. Gross. Ichigo wanted to kill Renji that instant.

"So you must understand…" Renji was saying now.  
"If there's anything _you_ need to understand, it's let go of me this instant or I'll tear you apart!"

"Stop talking and listen to me!" Renji gripped Ichigo tighter and Ichigo was now more interested in freedom than anything else. Renji was now clinging to him with legs wrapped around his body. Nightmare! Ichigo was more than just freaked out to the bone and nothing could make him see the whole thing as something friendly and wholesome.

"Renji! Let go of my husband!" Rukia had gotten up and grabbed Renji from behind but all her efforts to pry him off Ichigo were in vain. The fukutaichou's limbs tightened around Ichigo's body and the orange-haired husband groaned more in irritation than in pain. He had never dreamed to be in the arms of a beautiful, well-endowed lady but_never_ did it cross his mind to be in a death hug courtesy of a red-haired Lieutenant with freaky eyebrows!

"RENJI!" Ichigo glared at Renji.  
"ICHIGO!" Renji glared back.

Okay, that was disturbing.

Just when Ichigo thought things could not get more _humiliating_, Renji shifted his weight and pushed against Ichigo so that both of them were lying on the floor. Ichigo was supposed to grunt but he yelled instead. What could he do? He was _horrified_ to even realize that he could simply kick Renji off.

"Oh, interesting." Yoruichi lay on her side and put her head on a hand as she watched Ichigo struggle like an idiot against another idiot's limbs.  
"Just listen to him." Urahara was busily keeping Byakuya entertained by being a one man audience, "He'll probably let go when he realizes he's done talking."

Ichigo groaned and forced his grappled body to settle down. With what looked like half of a horrified death glare, Ichigo turned his attention to Renji and menacingly told him to say what he wanted to say. He had no intentions of being strangled to death by an overly eager red-haired ape.

"Listen to me, Ichigo…" Renji began, "Listen to me and listen well. You have to listen to every word I say… I mean it, you have to listen. Hey, are you listening?"  
"What the hell else do you think I'm doing!" Ichigo was yelling with a lot of energy, "Hurry up and get your filthy limbs off me!"

"I gave Rukia to you." He began. Rukia raised an eyebrow. Since when did she belong to Renji to begin with?

"I gave… her to you… because she wanted to be free."

Was Rukia ever a prisoner? Shrine of Penitence? Who saved her again? Oh, right, Ichigo.

"So don't you ever treat her wrongly!"

Shouldn't things like this be said during the wedding day or the day before or after the wedding day? If anything, Renji was a decade late. That or there was something horribly wrong with the calendar.

"I want you to treat her right!"

Great, he just rephrased his last sentence.

"So you better treat her like the goddess she is, you hear me?"

Midget.

"You hear me!"  
"Yes, I hear you, damn it!" Ichigo struggled, "Now let go of me!"  
"Not until you promise that you will satisfy every need of hers including sexu—"

BAM! BAM!

Rukia had swung the sake bottle against Renji's head and Ichigo had mustered enough strength to kick Renji in the gut. Who did this bastard think he was to make any say about anyone's sex life? The sounds from the bathroom were probably getting into his head. But even before Ichigo could open his mouth to say something, Renji immediately shifted and was about to flung his arms at Rukia.

"OI, YOU _BAKA_!" Ichigo's foot hit Renji. He did not know where but he hit his target person. Rukia fell back in surprise and Ichigo scooped her up in his arms as soon as Renji was trying to make a comeback hug.

"Inch some more and I'll—"

Wait a minute.

Renji was now shaking.

Oh, hell. He wasn't crying, was he? Was he crying?

Short sob.

Great. What could be more mushy than a crying Raggedy Renji?

"Stop that!" Ichigo told Renji. Rukia had not bothered jumping off as she clung on to his neck while both of them looked at what Renji was going to do next.  
"You_thief_!" Renji pointed at Ichigo.  
"Oh? Well, you _pervert_, then!" Ichigo shot back.

"Give her back!" Renji lunged at Ichigo and Rukia shrieked when her husband lifted her with only one arm as his other arm rammed a fist against Renji's approaching face.

"Ichigo, don't hold me like this!" Rukia complained as Renji got up to hit Ichigo again, "This is the exact way I looked like before you tossed me down from the Soukyoku so put me down already before you get any other stupid ideas, damn it!"

"Hello, minna-san!" Orhime stepped in led by Ishida. She stopped and blinked, amazed at how Ichigo was making a punching bag out of Renji's face. Ishida blinked as well, surprised at _why_ Renji was letting Ichigo turn his face into a punching bag. Ichigo was getting tired of having to blow Renji again and again so he decided that at the fukutaichou's next comeback, Ichigo was going to make a grab for his neck. Byakuya beat him to it though by hit Renji with the sing-along mic. The impact echoed through the speakers and Yoruichi laughed at Urahara who grabbed onto his hat upon seeing his expensive microphone being used as a mace.

"What is this?" Byakuya frowned at Renji, "When did you leave the stage? Did I give you permission?"

"You know, taichou, this is your entire fault!" Renji accused as he steadied himself. Unlike Byakuya who was still able to keep his firm and distinct elegance even when blushing drunk from sake, Renji was the exact opposite.

"I beg your pardon?" Byakuya aimed at him with the mic again and Urahara gasped, "I do not remember telling you to walk out from performance."  
"Yeah, but you adopted Rukia!"  
"I do not remember telling Rukia to walk out from the performance either."

"What do you mean? She came to you to be adopted?" Renji grabbed Byakuya by his scarf and the annoyed taichou merely whammed the microphone on Renji's face. Upon seeing that it had little to no effect, Byakuya sighed and proceeded to wrap the cord around Renji's neck. Ichigo had to hand it to Byakuya. Even when trying to kill a person in the least elegant way possible, Byakuya still managed to have poise. And poise was something Renji didn't have right now. Well, you wouldn't care about poise if someone is strangling you using a microphone cord around your neck.

"Ichigo." Rukia said and Ichigo looked up. She was slightly pouting at him and it was then that he realized that he still hadn't put her down. Ichigo laughed and got her back on her feet as she grumbled something about Chappy the Bunny.

"Rukiaaaaa!" Renji wailed after Urahara had tricked Byakuya into singing again.  
"What the hell?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow as Renji hurriedly crawled towards them. Rukia gasped.

"Hands off!" Ichigo pushed his foot against Renji's face.  
"Rukia, I will dye my hair orange if I have to!"

"WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Ichigo grabbed Renji by the collar and tossed him away, hitting the currently singing Captain. Urahara immediately covered his television set from being bombarded by anything and Yoruichi took pity on the mic and snatched it off Byakuya's hands. The Captain frowned at the woman but turned his attention to Renji who had just grabbed his ten mansions worth of a scarf.

"Abarai Renji, you are annoying me." Byakuya's cold tone managed to return, "It is not pleasing to be interrupted in the middle of a performance."  
"You know, taichou, that's the only thing he has that I don't."  
"A singing voice?"  
"Orange hair."  
"Damn you, then."

Urahara gasped in horror when Byakuya started to draw out his sword. Yoruichi rolled her eyes away and in one flash step, she was beside the Kuchiki Captain as she pushed the sword back into its sheath. Byakuya glared at her and she just grinned in response.

"Abarai, even if you could change your hair color at will, you'd still be an idiot." Yoruichi was looking down at Renji who was lying on his stomach as he groaned, gulping sake from a bottle in the process.  
"Urahara-san, please give the mic to my Uryuu!" Orihime raised her hand, "I want him to sing!"  
"Oh, what?" Uryuu immediately tore off his attention from his shirt that was buttoned in all the wrong places, "No, wait. We haven't heard Ichigo sing."  
"What?" Ichigo frowned and Rukia giggled.  
"Hand it to me." Rukia stretched her arm out for the mic, "I'll sing."  
"Yaaay, Rukia!" Orihime lifted up a sake bottle and began to force sake down Uryuu's throat as she brought another bottle up to her lips.

Ichigo groaned as Rukia smiled devilishly at him as she pushed him to sitting position. She snickered as she gripped the mic and her brother heavily obliged into giving the stage to someone else. Urahara grabbed Renji by the ankles and dragged him off to one side. As soon as the song was in, Yoruichi began clapping as well as Orihime who was beside a choking Uryuu Ishida. Ichigo continued to sit and lean back on his palms as she smiled at her small party.

"Kurosaki Rukia." She introduced herself, "I sing…"

The instrumental kicked in.

"And I dance."

What?

Ichigo's eyes widened. She was going to _what_? His wife was wearing a plain dress as usual and her dancing while wearing something like that was not going to be helpful especially now that he was doused in sake. She knew and boy, did she know it well. He gulped as she brought the mic up, looked at him and opened her mouth.

_Song for you, changing sadness into kindness._

Rukia still had both feet on the floor and yet, somehow he could see her swaying. Was it the sake or his imagination? Probably both.

_Song for you Changing loneliness into strength_

Well, it better be the sake since it was the only valid excuse he could grab now.

_Everyone leaves behind proof that they've lived_

An instrumental yet again.

Everyone began to clap when Rukia's feet began to move. Her skirt was whipping in various directions as if having a mind of its own. It did not necessarily provide a good view of his legs but considering the sake in Ichigo's head, his imagination and his hormones that were equal to a man dosed with a love potion, it was more than enough. She moved in a quick pace, keeping up with the fast-beat song. She would turn, she would skip and then she would stop, giving him a glance only he could notice.

Damn this woman.

_Under cherry blossoms in full bloom…_

Rukia's voice was sound and powerful, much like her normal speaking voice. Ichigo bit his lip. No, he was not going to gulp in front of her.

…_Violets flower magnificently_

But he was sweating and he could not stop that. He knew it. She knew it. Not good.

_The delicateness holds infinite possibilities…_

Rukia turned so that her left side was facing him and oh, dear, kami-sama, she was bending backwards. To a normal man, it was not appealing. It was not seductive. It was not erotic. But to Kurosaki Ichigo, that was more then enough to make him switch his sitting position.

_Ooh…_

God damn it. That sounded like a moan.

In reality, it didn't. It sounded like a hum, a song. Something to that effect. But Rukia knew alcohol was in his head and alcohol mixed with hormones and her dancing like she did not know he was watching was going to send him to vertigo.

_It's full of them, isn't it?_

Ichigo was trying to use the sake, the bottles and the cups to distract him self from looking at her but efforts were in vain. Rukia had diverted his attention from everything but her. He could no longer hear Orihime clapping and saying nonsensical things in broken Japanese. He could not hear Uryuu trying to sing along with Byakuya who was also trying to along with Rukia. He could not see Renji who was sprawled on the floor as he groaned about rainbows and bunnies and most of all, he could not see Urahara and Yoruichi who were grinning at each other, elbowing each other and probably even taking bets about him — Kurosaki Ichigo — and how he was staring longingly at his wife.

_If your tarnished reason is crushing you to the point of tears_

Ah, no. No. No.

What was she doing? Her hips were swaying. Her legs were… were… Ichigo gulped and she smiled, noticing his expression from the corner of her eye. And yet, she continued her innocent performance. Rukia would only spare him a whisk of her head towards him so that he could see her face. She knew he was looking at her lips and how they parted as she opened her mouth. More than enticing. He knew. She knew.

Sake had probably gotten into her, too.

Yoruichi and Orihime had lifted their hands and clapped in the air. Byakuya was now singing the chorus and Uryuu was singing a different song. Ichigo saw nothing else and heard nothing else.

_Then just try to glare back to the horizon_

What the hell… He can't take it anymore!

_Song for you sha—_

"ICHIGO!" Rukia dropped the mic when Ichigo got up and wrapped his strong arm around her waist. Byakuya and Uryuu raced for the microphone but Urahara beat them to it. The store keeper gasped, clutching the microphone to himself as Uryuu's and Byakuya's eyes lit up towards him like sinister cats prowling in an alley.

"Hey!" Ichigo picked her up and stormed off, walking past Renji who was still murmuring about rabbits and rainbows.  
"Ichigo, I'm not don—"  
"You're finished! No more singing!" a beet red Ichigo headed towards the fusuma that he slid open and he looked up.

Second floor.

"Where are you taking me! Ichigo! Ichigo! Ich—"

The fusuma slid closed and then silence. A drunken Uryuu and Byakuya were now plotting on their next song as Yoruichi snickered.

"Kisuke, she didn't finish the song. I win."

Urahara fixed his the hat on his head and grumbled as Yoruichi opened her palm towards him.

"You know…" Yoruichi murmured, "I'm wondering how the kids are able to sleep with this entire ruckus."  
"And I'm wondering how we're able to stomach it all."

"Uryuu…" Orihime murmured to her husband, "You don't think they'll use the sink, do you? It'll give out soon enough."

- End of Chapter 13 -

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Author: Sorry if I'm late! This fic nearly didn't make it today because I was tossed into a "HOLY HELL ZOMFGWTF" abyss when my friend sent me a copy of an article about Bleach on the school paper. And it said Ichigo's hair was RED! Come on, even non-fans would tell you his hair is ORANGE! I was like SO ticked off! I'll be writing about it in my Friendster blog. Stuff about the "Oh My…!" Trilogy will be there, too. And I have a mini fic going on there… It's entitled "Kuchiki Rukia: Operation Strawberry Analysis". I can't post it on since the fic requires font formatting. Haha. Hope you swing by. I'm posting the address here but I'll be putting a link in my profile as well.

http://xairylle.blogs. you have no idea how many Chapter Thirteen's I have made and I think this is the best one since I had fun writing this and I had my full attention to it while I was at it so yeah, yay, us! This is pretty much like a filler ep (chap?), a cool down if you may.

To all those who have been sending me PM's, I'm sorry if I'm not able to reply! I've been really busy. Ever since I've posted this fic, a lot of things had come up from new people to new things to new knowledge and new opportunities. So far, from all the PM's, no one has guessed the twist yet and I'm glad with how things are going. Yay!

Thank you for all the PM's, the reviews, the e-given stuff (share the ice cream, you!), the Friendster invites, the Friendster comments, the e-mails, the IM's, and the like. I'm sorry if it takes time before I could reply but I hope no one takes it as me ignoring anyone. I'm not ignoring anyone! Aaah! Sot let me tell you here that I'm really, really, really thankful! And again, I'm not ignoring anyone on purpose! Kyaaaa!

I hope I'm able to post up something tomorrow. If ever, it'll be special since I'll be turning a year older! Yay!

Bankai to us all!


	14. Sake Ichigo

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

* * *

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! If you don't like lemon, do not read this. Hopefully, you're still going to be able to understand the story even if you didn't read this. If you still don't get it, CHAPTER FOURTEEN CONTAINS LEMONY SCENES SO PLEASE, IF YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN ANYTHING WITH SEXUAL CONTENT, DO NOT READ PAST THIS PARAGRAPH. All complaints about it will be IGNORED.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen : Sake Ichigo**

* * *

"I—"

The steps didn't seem to end. Ichigo wanted to curse the damn store. Even _it_ was against him! But no one was going to stop him. Not Rukia, not Urahara, not the stairs, not this house, not Byakuya, not Commander General Yamamoto and, heck, not even his conscience! He had his needs and he knew what those are and he just knew he was going into a mental state of anguish if he was not pacified now.

"—chi—"

Come hell of high waters, Ichigo did not give a damn! All the Hollows could rot in Hueco Mundo and even if Soul Society crumbled into ashes, it would probably only reach his ears when his hormones stopped raging. His work and his environment had been very cruel to him and his unfortunate sex life as of late and he was not — let it be clear: NOT — going to give in this time.

The steps finally came to an end after forever and he stomped towards the door. It was strange how Urahara's place could house them all for the night considering it did not look so spacious from the outside. But did it matter?

"—go!"

No.

Ichigo slid one room open. Was there a futon or a bed? Yes. Condition met, then. This was theirs for the night. If anyone dared to enter without permission and reason any of its four walls, its ceiling, its floor or even its corners, he would not hesitate to let heads roll. Too violent? Tell that to a man whose sanity had been rampaged by forsaken hormones and you'll get a good hemorrhage!

"What the hell is—"

Rukia's voice was lost when Ichigo stepped into the room and closed the sliding door with his foot. She gasped, realizing the darkness and registering how her husband's arm was shifting her.

"Ichigo?" Rukia blinked.  
"Shut up. I'm having the urge to rip your clothes in two just by hearing you say my name."

Wow.

Hormones and sake in Kurosaki Ichigo's body made one hell of a combination.

"We're not…"

If it did not involve anything about agreeing to his current state of hormonal passion then Ichigo was not quite interested to hear it. In a quick move, he had shifted her so that one arm was supporting her back and pushing her against him. Their faces were on level and Rukia could feel her toes touch nothing but air. Their bodies being so close would not last long in one position.

Ichigo pulled her closer and melded their lips together.

Finally!

His grip tightened as his free arm lifted her leg and she obliged, curling her legs around his torso as her arms wrapped around his neck. Ichigo moaned as he delved his tongue into her mouth and she responded accordingly. Rukia wanted this. He knew. Otherwise, she wouldn't have provoked him like she had earlier. It was good that Rukia did not scream like a mad man (woman?) when in pleasure or he'd be dealing with even weirder smiles tomorrow. What the heck, the woman was his already! Screw it if this wasn't their house. He'd rather live with the "we-know-what-you-did" smiles and looks the next day than die from his manhood entangled in desire.

After making sure he wouldn't drop her, Ichigo started towards the futon. Surprise took him when she tilted her head to deepen the kiss and at the same time, she managed to pull up a side of his shirt. The sudden contact made him gasp and wobble and he fell on his bottom.

"Never knew you were such a klutz." She sneered at him and he pouted. Rukia was straddling him as her hand continued to explore under his shirt. Ichigo had not bothered to remove it because he knew quite well that there were times that she liked the feel of just touching and not necessarily seeing the whole thing. This instant was under that circumstance. He leaned back and let her have a bit of fun as both of her palms slid against his skin. It was not the first time she had touched him. Damn it, they've been married for ten years but whenever she touched him, she was always fascinated by how chiseled his body was.

Rukia leaned towards him and her tongue playfully licked against his neck. Ichigo dared not to suppress a moan and his head tilted to one side. More access. Rukia moved upward, her tongue doing work as she slid teasingly towards his ear. His hips had been moving deliberately against hers and she moaned upon feeling his erection against her. She moaned again and one of her hands reached down and began undoing his trousers. Ichigo bit his lip in anticipation as he heard her unzip it open but just as he was about to feel her fingers around him, he grabbed her wrist.

Not now. Not yet.

Rukia gasped but even before she could send him a questioning look of disappointment, he had already moved and all of a sudden she was under him. Both her hands were on either side of her head and held into place by the orange-haired embodiment of what was handsome, strong and sexy — at least for her. Rukia groaned at the mere position she was in, as it fueled more and more torrid thoughts into her head. To top that off, the sake was definitely kicking in. She was sure to lose herself tonight.

Ichigo smirked and his head dove for her neck. It was hard for him not to suck at her and leave a mark especially that his sake-infested mind was telling him to. He moved towards her, making sure that their bodies touched as much as possible. Both of them moaned as they felt each other's contours. Ichigo's tongue continued to lap at wherever he felt like it, not knowing where to go first since each spot seemed to taste more and more inviting than the previous. It was weird since he was licking the same skin on the same body but he had no interest or state of mind to sort out thoughts or figure out logic.

While making sure he kept as much contact as possible, Ichigo's hand reached down and began to rub her thigh. Rukia moaned again but in a strange way this time. That or Ichigo was imagining things because he could feel himself flare with passion upon hearing the sound escape her lips. She writhed against him, needing to touch him, needing to kiss him, needing to do something to him. With her free hand, she pushed herself and with much effort, shifted their position so that she was on top.

Ichigo gasped and blinked before staring at her with wide eyes. She did not allow him to react and a finger immediately shushed him. Without further ado, he parted his lips and took her finger in. She closed her eyes and sighed before snickering at him and pulling her hand back. Her wet finger traced across his neck. Ichigo motioned to prop himself up but Rukia immediately planted her palms on his chest.

"You're not going anywhere." She sneered.

Wow. This was one of the rare times that Rukia was aggressive but right now was not the right night.

Ichigo smirked and motioned to stand up again but she grabbed him by the jaw and forced him back. He sent her a baffled, questioning gaze as she leaned forward, "I said you're not going anywhere."

His mouth was covered but he still managed to send her half a smile. With a quick movement from his legs, Rukia's vision wobbled and all of a sudden, he was on top of her, pinned by his body weight as he whispered huskily, "Neither of us is going anywhere."

Oh, his warm — or was it hot? — breath on her skin! She closed her eyes as her head moved to one side. It was more than enticing and she was on the verge of saying his name.

No.

This was _her_ night. He had to say _her_ name.

With a naughty glint in her eye she pushed him off her. She knew it was no use trying to roll on top of him. He was much stronger. She needed to do something else and as of now it was to have a good distance between them. Ichigo frowned as he watched her crawl backwards and away from him but somehow, he was awarded with a slightly dim and teasing view of her legs and what else in between and beneath her dress. And he gulped.

Rukia smiled again. It was the exact thing she had in mind.

Ichigo had not yet figured out what game she was trying to play but he scampered after her anyway, not minding that he looked half like an idiot after her. She laughed as she made her way towards the futon. As soon as he was close enough, she grabbed the blanket and tossed it on him. Rukia had caught him by surprise and all he could do was open his mouth upon seeing the white material walling towards him. It wasn't hard removing it from his body but when he looked, she wasn't there.

"Tag. You're it." Rukia whispered from behind him as her fingers traced across his back. He shivered, unable to move for a while as he felt her hands crawl towards his abs. Rukia bit her lip at the finely molded part of her husband and she heard him moan when her hand reached his chest. But that was it. As soon as she felt him move differently, she grabbed her hand back and hopped away.

"You midget." Ichigo grunted.

Rukia smiled devilishly again and licked her lips.

Damn it. He loved it when she did that but two can play that game. In an instant his shirt was off and Ichigo found himself grinning inwardly when he saw the expression on her face after he licked his lips. But to Rukia, all was not lost and she seductively moved back with one foot as she licked her fingers. Ichigo could do nothing else but draw his breath longingly as her hands slid down her creamy neck before opening the first few buttons. The way she moaned made it look so inviting and Ichigo felt like thrusting hungrily into her. Rukia batted her eyelids and pursed her lips.

He was close to losing it.

"Come here, you…!" Ichigo motioned towards her but Rukia took another step back, moaning louder this time that he gasped. That prolonged sound of her pleasure made him freeze. A few more buttons snapped off with ease and Rukia thanked the heavens for automatics. One hand moved through her hair and Ichigo swallowed as her other hand moved down her body, gliding over her skin, her breasts, her belly before sliding back up and licking her finger.

Rukia moaned again as her back met the wall. Her head threw to one side in what seemed to be pure bliss.

Damn, he had lost it.

In an instant he was in front of her. His eyes were hungry for her and he pinned her to the wall, pushing her as he dragged his tongue from her ear to her lips but she denied him entrance.

"Rukia…" he gasped. He was too infested by desire to even force her anymore but she did not seem convinced.

"Rukia…" he murmured again and teased her lips with his tongue. His wife obliged and parted her lips. That was enough for him. Rukia moaned, pulling him towards her as one of his hands parted the upper half of her dress. She moaned again as his hand cupped one of her mounds and began kneading. Making sure that she was still firm against him, he made his hand towards her back felt for and undid the clasps even through the material of her dress. The thing came off and Ichigo took it and tossed it away. They could bother about its whereabouts tomorrow. Right now… Well… Carpe Diem!

"Oh…" Rukia gasped as she felt Ichigo lift her so that his face was on level with her breasts. Her eyes were wide in shock when he began licking and she clung to him upon feeling is lips around her nipple. Pleasure ran through her system and Rukia began to say his name breathlessly, something that made him want her even more. He could feel her wetness on his skin and he moaned into her. He wanted to shift her higher but didn't. He ignored the hungry feeling of his tongue to taste her way down south. Only one thing was taking her and it was neither his lips nor his finger. He wanted to make sure she was jammed with shock and pleasure when he entered her. Ichigo was not going to settle for anything less.

"Ichigo… I need…"

Ichigo's eyes wandered. Nothing to his right. A desk to his left.

Desk.

Perfect.

It took only several paces for Ichigo to reach it and he laid Rukia with her back on the desk. Rukia whimpered upon the loss of touch and he had to stop himself from grinning as he undid his trousers. The girl wanted to kick his forehead for being so slow but did not dare to move. Ichigo would want to do this by himself and she waited rather impatiently, grunting as she lay on the table. After what seemed to be the entire night, he slid his hands up her thigh and pulled down the only hindrance between him and her entrance. Most clothes were still on. He had not bothered to totally remove his pants and it pooled at his feet.

Ichigo looked at her.

What did her eyes say?

Hurry up, you bastard.

He grinned. She lay there. He entered.

"Oh holy, holy, holy, holy, holy… hommmphh…" Ichigo said breathlessly as he inched into her slowly. Rukia kept on gasping his name for how many times he lost count. She was shuddering at the small shocks she was receiving as he held her legs in place.

"Rukia…" Ichigo said upon feeling him within her as she rasped for air. He remained there for a while, watching her as she adjusted. Her senses were in a wild array and if he thrust now, she would probably be driven to so much pleasure that she'd feel it in her dreams. The mere thought of her dreaming about him was enough to fuel him to another level of sensation and he began thrusting.

"Yes, yes…" Rukia whimpered as she buckled against him, moving her hips to go with his pace. It took a while before she could catch his rhythm since it was hard enough stopping herself from screaming. He helped her ease out for their sake and his hands steadied her hips, guiding her movement to take him in as he moved against her. Rukia was desperately trying to cling onto something but nothing seemed to be enough.

"Ichigo…" she gasped breathlessly, "Harder…"

Ichigo grunted. At this rate, he would climax before she did. It would take a hell lot of his will power and self-control so as not to explode before she did. She was trying to speed up the pace. The desk was wet with her sweat and whatnot and her comments about being "so good" and "so deep" was driving him insane. It was so hard stopping himself from being driven to the peak of pleasure.

"R-R-R-Ruk… ia…"

His vision was faltering. He was almost there. Dang it, he couldn't come now. Not now. Not…

"OH MY GOD, ICHIGO!" Rukia nearly screamed as he felt her walls squeeze his member. She shuddered as her hands began to dishevel her own hair, her eyes closed in pure bliss.

Another thrust.

"Nnngh…" Ichigo clamped his lips together, his teeth gritting inside his mouth as he tried swallowing a yell that had been wanting to come out for as long as he realized. The flashing white light of orgasm came before his eyes and he quivered as he blew everything he had. Rukia felt every part of him unstably moved as his fingers gripped tighter on her hips as he arched forward.

Rukia. Rukia. Rukia. Rukia. Rukia.

The name was resounding in his head and his mouth could not catch up to his mind but he was sure that he repetitively said her name. Rukia smiled. Ichigo breathed out and both of them moaned as he pulled out. Without any care for the moment, Ichigo allowed himself to collapse on the floor. Rukia giggled and allowed herself a few more moments to catch her breath before pushing herself up. She looked at her husband who was now lying on the side.

"Ichigo…" Rukia looked at him as her hand tried to fix the messed up hair on her head.  
"Rukia…" he gasped. It was more of an aftershock than answer.  
"We weren't able to even use the futon."

Ichigo groaned.

Rukia smiled and slowly approached her husband.

"Can't even pull your own pants up, eh?" she smiled and her fingers hooked on the waistband of his trousers. She did not know how but Ichigo was immediately able to regain senses and he sat up, grabbing her by the wrist and she gasped, "What?"

"You want to use the futon, hm? Good."  
"What?"  
"We're not done yet."  
"What!"  
"Stop saying the same word already!"  
"Ichigo, a—"

- End of Chapter 14 -

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Author: I have proven TO MYSELF (at least) through this chapter that I really love you guys so much because amidst my aching shoulder, I pushed through with this chapter not because I had to prove something to myself but because I didn't want to totally lose the touch. And I didn't want to disappoint those who had given me the "Goddess of Flash Updates" nickname. Well, this is also quite a filler and I've been having more than just several requests for this since people had seen Ichigo tortured enough from all that had been left hanging. So… Here it is. Yay, Bankai to us all! REVIEW! I think this is my second lemon, right? Araaaaa… Quite an experiment, really, but hope you likesh. 

Oh, and let me take this opportunity to tell you to read blushingbluerain's fic "A Night To Remember".

It's not perfect but it's cute and I like it and I really want to collaborate with her in doing it. Whee!! It's IchiRuki Bleach and AU. The title of this chapter is inspired by the title of her first chapter.


	15. I Found Another's Self

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Fifteen : ****I Found Another's Self**

* * *

Everything was white and the boy stood out in his black Shinigami garb.

Ken'ichi eyed the marble floor which looked exactly like the ceiling that was past the clouds hovering above him. He could see no sun but the surroundings were surprisingly vivid. Chunks of white marble rocks were protruding from the floor and the pillars that were arranged in a random fashion towered up to the sky, past the clouds and perhaps ended at the ceiling past the sky. Ken'ichi could not understand how the ceiling was fused with the sky but what was more intriguing was that the whole place seemed to be empty. It was spacious and no matter how far Ken'ichi looked, he could see no ending.

"Ken'ichi."

Female voice.

Ken'ichi looked to his right and saw a brown-haired woman in red and black. Her locks were neatly tied up into several braids that hypnotically moved behind her. She was sitting way up in mid-air as her long red kimono. She tilted her head as she looked at him while slowly adjusting the black obi that was strangely knotted on the side. The upper half of her kimono was draping off her shoulders and black ribbons tied to her neck kept it in place.

"Where am I?" Ken'ichi asked her. She giggled.  
"I thought your first question would be about my identity."  
"Well, if it helps then… Who are you?"

The woman laughed again and Ken'ichi noted her long eyelashes batting over her deep brown eyes. Her deep red lips curved a smile and she got up and began to walk down on what looked like an invisible flight of spiral steps. Ken'ichi blinked upon hearing her wooden sandals clack against something and yet he could not see what it was.

"Ken'ichi…" she said as she started towards him.

"How did you do that?" he asked her and she stopped and looked back. She looked up and down as if eyeing something and she paused. Her fingers with black-painted nails came up over her lips as she giggled. Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow as she slowly looked at him.

"So you don't see it." She said, her fingers still covering her lips as she faced him.  
"The stairs?" he asked as he looked past her and tried to make something out of thin air.  
"Yes." The woman's hand moved away and touched something, "You know it's here but you can't see it, can you?"  
"What does it matter?"

"What does it matter, hm?" she tilted her head and the wind blew. Ken'ichi could see the things move but somehow, he could not feel the wind against his skin. Something was strange about this place.

"What does it matter? What does it matter?" she repeated, tapping her chin with a slender finger as she looked up. Ken'ichi stopped himself from glaring at the woman who was trying to make fun of him. She noticed and she stopped, sending the boy an innocent smile as a silent coaxing for pardon.

Ken'ichi's moved to put his hands in his pockets before realizing he did not have any. He smirked and scratched his ear as one hand felt for the sword that was hitched on his hip.

Or rather _supposed_ to be hitched there.

"What!?" Ken'cihi looked. His sword wasn't there.  
"What are you looking for?" she asked.  
"My sword." He replied as he spun, looking around if he had dropped it. For some reason, he felt so uneasy without it by his side.  
"What sword?"

His… What was it called?

Zanpakutou.

"A sword! Katana!" Ken'ichi exclaimed as he straightened with his hands landing on his waist as he looked at her. There she was again in a weird pose. Her hand was up and her fingers seemed to be holding something and he blinked, squinting to try and see if she was playing a joke on him.

"This?" she pointed to thin air.

Ken'ichi did not answer.

"You don't see it, too?" she looked at what she was holding and began to seemingly pull out with her other hand. Ken'ichi could hear a blade being unsheathed but he could not see it at all.

"That's a shame…" she shook her head.  
"What is?"  
"You can't even see your own sword."  
"Tsch, how do I even know if it's there?"

"Oh, but it is." She snickered and in one graceful step, she was in front of him, holding a sword against his neck. He could feel it but could not see it. The blade was definitely there.

"Who are you?" he glared.  
"Temper, temper." She shook her head as she took the sword back, "How will you be able to see your sword if you're so jitter?"  
"Why won't you tell me who you are?"  
"I don't really give my name to just anyone, you know." She turned his back to him and sheathed the invisible sword.

"Oh, then…" Ken'ichi paused and turned as he noticed something move from the corner of his eye. He was supposed to draw and again realized he had no sword with him. Something had just ran behind him and it was too fast for him too see but strong enough for him to feel. He knew this feeling, this… this… sensation. He did not know what to call it but it was so familiar.

"What is it?" she turned towards him and realized that he had not been paying attention. Instead, the boy was busily looking around for something. The woman frowned and began to look around.

"I j—"

As soon as Ken'ichi turned back, something happened. Two swords clashed. At least that is what he saw. The woman had blocked something. Sparks flew. Everything was too fast for him to follow. Ken'ichi could not make out much of the scene, as it looked like an abstract painting in his head. He saw red. He saw black. He saw white.

He saw a mask.

Ken'ichi gasped.

What was that?

"What was…"

"Let's go." The woman grabbed him and in another kick off the ground, they were gone. Ken'ichi had no idea what happened but he was unable to open his eyes for a few moments before realizing that they had come to a stop. Where they were, he had no clue since everything looked the same. He looked up at the woman who was cautiously putting him down from effortlessly picking him up. The boy straightened and looked up at her. She was unstably looking around. Was it panic? No, it was anxiety, uneasiness… What should he call it?

"What's going on?" he asked her rather innocently and she turned her attention to him.  
"Would you like to be strong, Ken'ichi?" she asked him.  
"Why?"  
"Would you like to be strong? Would you like to understand?"

Ken'ichi had heard these questions before.

"Yes." He replied.  
"I will lend you my power." She told him, "There is not much time."  
"Time? Time for what?"

"I will lend you strength if you promise…" she continued, totally ignoring him as she stared straight into his dark violet eyes, "… Promise that it will only be my power you will use."

This was strange. Was she forcing him or something? But the circumstances and her facial expression did not seem to leave him with any choice.

"I will give you your sword, Ken'ichi." Her hand seemed to have unhitched something from her hip and she held it in front of him. Ken'ichi looked but still could not see it.

"But on one condition."  
"What is it?"  
"My name." she murmured, "Your voice will call on no other power but my name."

"Well…" Ken'ichi replied as he eyed her empty fingers. With determination, he looked up at her and asked, "What _is_ your name?"

The woman smiled.

"Listen carefully… I will not tell you twice. My name…"

"Your… name…" Ken'ichi muttered in his sleep as Yui felt the material of his uniform. She had been eyeing that gash — small as it was — on his right shoulder. Whatever caused it, she was not exactly sure but it was probably thanks to the Hollow incident yesterday. She grunted, annoyed to hell that they were going to miss school. Aside from that, it had been getting into her nerves something was torn and she got up, stomping towards her school bag as she constantly muttered to herself how she was going to regret what she'd do. Ryu blinked at his sister as she grumbled along the rustling of her things.

"What are you doing?" Ryu blinked.  
"Take off his uniform."  
"Whaaaat!" Ryu fidgeted from his seat and hurriedly crawled beside his sister, "What was that, Yui-chan?"  
"I won't say it again." She was glaring and yet not looking at Ryu, "Take it off. I have to mend it."  
"Why don't you do it?"  
"Why don't _you_?"  
"Well, one, I'm a guy and a guy undressing another guy is…"  
"Ryu, I didn't mean every piece of… URGH! Never mind!"

Ryu sneered silently as he watched his sister approach the sleeping boy on the futon. She heavily brushed away the blanket that was on top of him and began to unbutton his uniform. Ken'ichi groaned and his head shifted to one side as she gasped, grabbing her hands back before he could wake up. Ryu chuckled again as he crawled beside her and Yui grimaced threateningly at her twin before continuing where she left off. After torturous moments later, the thing was coming off as soon as she pulled one sleeve off his arm.

"WAIT!" Ken'ichi sat up and Yui shrieked in surprise, pulling his uniform off towards her and slapping Ken'ichi right across the face. The Kurosaki boy threw to one side and Ryu gasped.

"I… I…" Yui clutched onto the uniform as she looked at Ken'ichi who was trying to regain consciousness, "I'm sorry. You shouted and I was surprised and…"

"And what are you doing with my uniform?" Ken'ichi asked and she gasped, looking at her hands and blinking. She sighed and lifted it up for him to see as she pointed at the small gash on its right shoulder.

"Oh, sheesh! You tore a whole through it!?" Ken'ichi ran a hand through his hair in disbelief. The girl frowned and threw the uniform at him. Ken'ichi's face caught the material and he immediately grabbed it off as Yui proceeded to return her sewing kit in her bag.

"Actually, she was going to mend it." Ryu said, "But you woke up when she was trying to get it off you."  
"Oh…" Ken'ichi blinked, eyeing the torn shoulder, "Well then…"

"Yui-chan's needle and thread are so sacred, you know." Ryu added and Yui glared at him and then at Ken'ichi, "You're Shinigami and I'm Quincy so don't think I was going to mend your clothes because of you. I was doing it for art's sake."

"See? Told you they were sacred."  
"Shut up, Ryu!"

"Quincy, huh…" Ken'ichi said as he thoughtfully folded his uniform, "Shinigami…"

_A Zanpakutou… A Soul Slayer. You are…_

Ken'ichi felt for the sword that he was expecting to hitched to his hip but found none.

_You are a Shinigami!_

"Shinigami." Ken'ichi bit his lip, "It wasn't a dream."  
"Dream…?" Ryu blinked.

"I'm… What am I?" Ken'ichi muttered to no one in particular and Yui maintained her frown. Gradually, Ken'ichi began to change expression and she wasn't sure if he was frowning or crying as he got up. Ryu followed with his eyes and Yui got to her feet and called, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Out to kick my father's ass." Ken'ichi continued to tread towards the door and Yui grunted at his lack of response to not even turn to look at her. With much annoyance, she picked up her bag and threw it at him. Ken'ichi's reflexes kicked in, whipping around as his hand averted the coming object.

"Stop doing that." Ken'ichi frowned at her.  
"Shut up, Shinigami." She frowned back.

Ryu gulped.

Ken'ichi grunted and stepped heavily towards the girl and grabbed her by her collar. Ryu gasped, getting to his feet as he watched his sister's body wobble from the sudden movement but she continued to glare at him. Ken'ichi lifted his fist to hit her but she remained frozen with her furious eyes. The Kurosaki boy bit his lip, breathing heavily as he lost himself in finding answers in another's stare.

"Pathetic." Yui growled and she kicked him off with ease. Ken'ichi flew off, his fingers coming off her uniform she was now straightening. Ryu was telling his sister to stop as Ken'ichi slowly recollected himself.

"Don't tell me you didn't hit me because I'm a girl." Yui grimaced at him, "Get up and hit me, _Shinigami._"  
"I have a name." Ken'ichi got up with flickering eyes.  
"I don't hear you, Shinigami."  
"My name is…"

"I said…" Yui stomped towards him and grabbed him by the collar. Ken'ichi's eyes widened upon seeing her lift her arm and aim a fist at him, "I don't hear you, _Shinigami_!"

"Stop calling me that!" he yelled at her and pushed her off. Yui fumbled backwards but was able to recover immediately and straightened.

"Yui-chan!"  
"Stay out of this, Ryu!"  
"What is your problem!" Ken'ichi yelled at her.  
"What's_your_ problem, Shinigami!" Yui yelled back.  
"_That's_ my problem! I'm Shinigami!"  
"Pathetic, Ken'ichi!" she scowled and took a daring step forward, "What's so bad with you being Shinigami!"  
"What's so nice about not knowing who you are?"

"You are Kurosaki Ken'ichi, son of your mother and father. Ten years of age and going to Karakura Elementary School and…" she hurried towards him and grabbed him by the collar as she looked up at him, "… And it just so happened that you're Shinigami! Now, what's wrong with being what your parents are!"

"The hell would you understand?"  
"The hell would I give a damn now, huh!"  
"Stop it, the both of you!"

"Knowing who you are…? What do you know about identity…?" Yui was shaking as she desperately tried to further tighten her grip against his uniform, "You had a life. You were able to live. At one point, you were normal. You were accepted. You were fine. You… You… The hell do you know about identity, Ken'ichi, so stop sulking like a little girl about it!"

"Try being hidden for a decade and tell me you like it!" she shrieked at him, "You existed, Ken'ichi! The world _knew_ you as Kurosaki Ken'ichi! Being Shinigami… Being Shinigami is who you are so don't throw a stupid fit because of it!"

"Oh, so perhaps you'd be happy if your parents didn't tell you about being _Quincy_?"

"Yes!" she shouted at him, pushing further as her knuckles turned white, "I wouldn't give a damn… about… knowing… if it meant… even just a month of exposure to a normal life."

"That's crap, Yui." Ken'ichi frowned and gripped her wrists but she insisted on holding on, "My father…"  
"Your father has nothing to do with who you are."  
"My father has _everything_ to do with who I am!"  
"It's not your father's fault that you're sulking!"  
"Yes, it is!"  
"No, it's not! You can stop if you want to!"

"What's going on?" Uryuu and Ichigo entered the room right when Ken'ichi and Yui grabbed each other's throats. And even before their fathers could do anything, Ryu immediately built up the tri-link shield between the two bickering children and repelled them from each other. In one quick movement, Ryu was between them and with a glare he buried a fist against Ken'ichi's cheek. Yui opened her mouth to say something but Ryu glared at her as well, slapping her hard across the face.

"I SAID STOP IT ALREADY!" Ryu hollered at the both of them and twelve Quincy arrows appeared around him. Yui gasped and Ken'ichi shook his head to stabilize his thoughts. Ichigo and Uryuu were not moving probably because they were still in shock from the early morning argument their children were engaged in. Footsteps and voices from other people were approaching the room but no one seemed to notice.

"I've had it with all the secrets and identities and mysteries and angst and… and…" Ryu rattled off as the Quincy arrows dispersed, "So would you just shut up and be who you are already?"

"How can you _say_ that!" Yui's voice cracked, "After being cooped up for ten years, how can you not hate how Ken—"

"Hate!?" Ryu yelled at his sister and she gasped as her head darted back from the sharp look she was receiving from her brother, "Hate or _envy_? Which is it, Yui-chan?"  
"Well, it's…"  
"It's envy! That's what it is!" he said as he turned to Ken'ichi, "Envy. Envy! That's what I see in the _both_ of you and it's making me _sick_!"

"Is that Ryu…?" Orihime asked.

"Yes, it's _me_, Okasan!" Ryu hollered and his voice scratched as he shook. He was breathing heavily as he eyed Ken'ichi and Yui who were dumbstruck upon gaping at him while they sat on the floor.

"This is ridiculous." Ryu grunted, "I'm not as strong as any of you but at least I have resolve."

Even before anyone could say anything, there was a whizzing sound past Ryu and after that was a streak of white and green. Urahara thrust his cane against Ken'ichi's forehead. The boy's Shinigami form was forced out of its body that landed face first.

"U-Urahara-san…!" Orihime exclaimed.  
"They're reeeaaaaady!" Urahara announced in a sing-song voice.

What was this all about?

"If you want to fight so badly, this isn't the right place." Byakuya muttered and Ken'ichi's eyes widened upon seeing his Ojisama in the same outfit.

"O-o-ojisama…" Ken'ichi stuttered but said nothing more upon meeting the icy stare of his uncle. The boy gulped and reached for his neck upon feeling slight suffocation. Byakuya turned to leave.

"Follow him" Urahara ushered as he pulled the children up to their feet, "And you will never see pink the way you do now."

- End of Chapter 15 -

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Author: Yaaay! Chapter 15! I'm not late! Phew! Birthday chappie is long and my filler chaps are over! You know, I suddenly realized why writers need fillers. I can't explain it but I know why. I don't know if other writers or if Masashi Kishimoto or Kubo Tite share the same thought about fillers but, well… I don't know. Am I the only author who has filler chaps?

Great. The author's note has become my journal. –face faults- Anyway, I hope I have you guessing and at the same time, I hope you see something. –blinks- Araaa… Sorry for being a bit sluggish lately. I hope to quickent he pace.

Thank you for the greetings, people. I really appreciate it! READ, REVIEW AND BANKAI TO US ALL!! Come on and do the Shinigami dance!


	16. Kuchiki Byakuyasenseible

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Sixteen : Kuchiki Byakuya-sensei-ble**

* * *

"OUTRAAAAGEOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSS!" Ryu bellowed as he ran around the large space that was still inexplicably kept under the Urahara store. Tessai had been driven to tears upon seeing the boy's "appreciation". Yui was looking around and was trying to tell her self that there was a _perfectly logical_ explanation why the Grand Canyon was under a small store.

The sky must be faked. The rocks must be faked. The ground must be faked.

It was all an illusion.

Hold it, illusions defied logic, didn't it? Wait, no, what was logic again?

"Where are we?" Ken'ichi asked as he eyed everything. Ryu didn't give a damn. He was too busy trying to cover as much area as possible as he kept on telling Yui to fire at something as soon as Tessai announced that the area could be used for training.

"Ken'ichi."

Cold voice. Stern voice. Kuchiki Byakuya.

The man had only said his name but Ken'ichi knew that after it came an already-understood "come here". The boy obliged and Ichigo gulped upon feeling his son walking past him without even acknowledging his existence. It felt weird looking at Ken'ichi wearing the same robes that he and Rukia were wearing. Shinigami robes. Urahara had "caned" them out of their bodies (body, gigai, whatever) as "a means of entertainment". What he meant by that, Ichigo did not really know.

"Listen carefully. I will not repeat myself." Byakuya said and the boy nodded as he walked after him.

"Shinigami means Death God." Byakuya began without a tinge of hesitation as if he were speaking to an adult as he paused a few good paces from the group that watched them, "Normally, before one becomes a Shinigami, he undergoes education under the Academy for six years. However, you and your father are an exception."

"Exception?" Ken'ichi gasped and sent a questioning look towards his father.  
"I first acquired my Shinigami powers from your mother." He told his son to somehow keep the boy's gaze at him, "And you inherited it from us."  
"Which is quite impossible." Urahara cut in as he opened his fan.  
"Im… Impossible?" Ichigo chorused with his son.

"As Niisama said, one does not just become Shinigami." Rukia told her husband as she approached, "Being Shinigami is a specialty, which is why it requires six years worth of Academy training."

"No one is born Shinigami?" Ichigo asked and Ken'ichi blinked at how the father was as clueless as the son.  
"Exactly." Rukia nodded, "But people are born with skill to be honed to be Shinigami."  
"Explain Ken'ichi then." Ichigo put his hands on his waist, "You're calling my son impossible?"  
"No, I'm not calling _our_ son impossible…"

"As I was saying…" Byakuya cleared his throat as he fixed his gloves with a glint of annoyance from the interruption, "Your Shinigami powers are rooting for somewhere. Where or what or why exactly is not our current concern."

"All Shinigami have a sword called…"

"Zanpakutou." Ken'ichi immediately said. He had wanted to say that term from the first time he realized it and Byakuya paused, letting his nephew revel in the small knowledge he had.

"Correct."

Ken'ichi beamed.

"However, not all Shinigami are able to call out their swords." Byakuya said again.

"Call out?"

"A Zanpakutou is not a mere weapon. It is an ally. It is a part of you. It has a mind, a being, a soul. It's a part of you and yet independent of you. The way you fight with your sword and the way your sword fights with you is greatly affected by your relationship with it."

"Each Zanpakutou has a name and just like what you do with any other person, you have to call it by its name."

Ken'ichi gasped. Name. Was that why it was so important? That woman. Was that… Was she… Her… It… What?

"Here is an example." Byakuya drew out his sword. Ichigo whistled lowly and Rukia elbowed him to be quiet. He frowned at her but said nothing, rubbing his side as he looked at Byakuya who was showing his sword to his son. Ichigo felt a tinge of jealousy.

He should be the one doing that.

Byakuya held up his sword and earned a soft "Cool" from Ryu.

"It's name is Senbonzakura."

Ken'ichi gasped.

"Nothing will happen." Byakuya looked at his sword for a moment before shifting his gaze towards Ken'ichi, "Because calling someone by name just gets its attention but doesn't tell it to do anything."

"So you command it?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"Command?" Byakuya traced over his sword with a finger and lifted it, "You mean like…"

The noble sent his nephew a death glare.

"KILL HIM!"

Byakuya waved the sword at Ken'ichi and the boy immediately fell back. Yui had shrieked and Ryu was just about to cast the tri-link shield when they realized nothing happened. Ichigo had disgustingly backed away at the killer punch line and Ichigo seriously, seriously, seriously hoped that _no one_ had the release command of "Kill Him" because if that person had seen what Byakuya had done, the poor guy will be mortified. Byakuya had just tarnished the line. Renji was not sure if he would lose half of his respect for his Captain or if he'd even want to surpass something like _that_! Rukia swore she was not going to see her brother the way she used to. Urahara chuckled. Byakuya seemed to be amusing himself. Poor noble guy never had a chance to have a son… or a daughter… or even a bi-sexual anything.

Wait, what?

Um, did Byakuya try a pet?

But seriously, was that one sucky fake-ass release command or what?

"A Zanpakutou is not a slave." Byakuya straightened as Ken'ichi blinked at him, "It is an ally. What did I teach you about the sword lately?"

Sword?

"Never treat your sword… with reckless abandon."

Byakuya nodded.

"Each Zanpakutou has a unique release command." Byakuya lifted the sword again, "Like so…"

Ichigo stopped himself from grunting. He never wanted a Shikai up to now as he glanced at Ken'ichi.

"Scatter…"

Ken'ichi was not blinking. Ichigo wanted to know what was in his son's mind. Was his son disappointed that it was his uncle teaching him the way of the sword?

"…Senbonzakura."

Ken'ichi could feel his mouth open in surprise.

If someone said the whole thing was fake and that his uncle was just behind a TV screen then Ken'ichi wouldn't be surprised. There was no way in _hell_ a sword could disperse like that! Actually, Ken'ichi could let it pass if it dispersed but why was it _pink_? Didn't his uncle have a choice? Sure there's the name "sakura" or something but didn't this sword have some gender issues?

Wait, Ken'ichi did remember a woman giving him her name. Could that be his Zanpakutou? Did that mean he was going to have a pink sword? Or a purple sword? A blade in pastel colors? With flowers? Oh, please… No. He didn't want to have _sunflowers_ for a weapon.

"It's…" Ken'ichi blinked at the undeniably feminine color walling up around his uncle. While he was busily trying to figure out what this ability was and why it was making a freaky buzzing sound, Yui had engaged herself in fan girl squealing.

Hold that. What?

"It's pink!" the girl's eyes looked much like Ken'ichi's mother when seeing Chappy the Bunny, "It's pink! Kawaii! Pink! Pink! Pink! I want a sword like that! I want a pink arrow! PINK ARROW! Pink bow? Pink bow, Otousan?"

Ken'ichi raised an arrow at the Quincy girl who had lost it. Who was this girl again? Ishida Yui? No, Ishida Yui was the _serious_ soul trying to hide in the body of a girl. Her father was looking at her as she clung to his arm and tugged at his sleeve. Ryu was slowly moving away from his sister upon noticing that Ken'ichi was looking weirdly at her.

"How many petals do you see, Ken'ichi?" Byakuya was saying now.  
"Well…" Ken'ichi eyed the flashy things hovering around his ojisama and gulped, "A lot."  
"Then in front of you are _a lot_ of swords." Byakuya said and the petals moved with his eyes, "Each petal is one blade and they are all under my control."  
"That's one hell of micro-controlling, then." Ryu blinked as his sister shook him while squealing more things he did not want to understand.

"Renji. Release your Zanpakutou."

Feeling the need to show off, Renji immediately complied and his Zanpakutou changed into its saw-type form. With pride, Renji put the sword on his shoulder and stuck his chest out. Renji felt a bit unprepared. He could've at least thought up a cool pose if he had been informed beforehand. Ken'ichi only raised an eyebrow, not even bothering to get up from his sitting position.

"That sure looks useless compared to this." Ken'ichi pointed at the thousand pink petals.  
"WHAT!" Renji blasted and Rukia laughed.

"That can not be helped." Byakuya muttered as his hand removed stray hair from his shoulders. Renji felt the angry vein pop on his forehead but did not say anything since Byakuya _did_ have Senbonzakura released.

"This form is the first release known as Shikai." Byakuya continued as the petals moved from him and surrounded Ken'ichi, "As you see, no two Zanpakutou are alike just like no two people are alike. From there, you could easily deduce that no two Shikai abilities are alike."

"I know my sword's name, Ojisama!" Ken'ichi popped in and everyone gasped.

He already knew? When did he have a conversation with his sword? A Zanpakutou did not necessarily just speak to its owner let alone voluntarily just give its name just like that. Yoruichi sent Urahara a glance and found him looking at the boy. His fan was over his face as it usually was but Yoruichi had not known Kisuke her whole life for nothing. Under the wisps of his bangs beneath the green and white stripes of his hat, Urahara Kisuke had his eyes on the boy. Every muscle movement, every flow of reiatsu and even every rhythm in which the boy breathed was now subjected to his watchful eye.

"Is that so? Let me see you release it."

Ken'ichi drew a large breath but held it in before saying, "I… don't know how."

"You don't know your sword, then." Byakuya said and looked towards Ishida's children, "Quincy, I need your children's participation."  
"What?" Uryuu Ishida raised an eyebrow, "Why do I even need to oblige to that?"  
"I wasn't asking for your opinion," Byakuya sighed, "I was telling you to let your children approach. After all, they were going at each other's throats a while ago."  
"You're planning to pit my children against Ken'ichi!" Uryuu exclaimed, "No way!"

Byakuya glared at the Quincy.

"Otousan." Yui sighed heavily as she looked at her father, "You're embarrassing us."  
"W-what?" Ishida blinked at his daughter.  
"Yeah." Ryu tilted his head as he eyed Ken'ichi, "Come to think of it, we've never come across any Shinigami to fight before. This is a good chance."

Ryu and Yui grinned at each other. The sister then turned to said Shinigami boy.

"He needs his sorry behind to be kicked so badly." Yui raised an eyebrow at Ken'ichi as she crossed her arms. Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow back at her and smirked afterwards. Yui grunted and walked towards Byakuya and Ken'ichi. Ryu followed suit and waved at his parents.

"Very good." Byakuya said as Yui looked smilingly at the array of pink blades that were gloriously basking behind the Kuchiki clan leader. Ken'ichi put a hand on his waist and exchanged nods with Ryu as if the latter had not rammed a fist against his cheek. Yui was a different story and Ken'ichi thought that he just might forget that she was a girl. She was going to grow up like the snob she is and she was not going to get a decent love life in her teenage years without working hell hard for it. Ken'ichi could see it oh, so clearly. No one would want a girl who hits like she had hammers for hands.

"Now, I suppose you know how to run?" Byakuya asked.  
"H-hai." Ryu pondered on whether it was a trick question.  
"Yes." Yui said flatly.  
"Of course, Ojisama." Ken'ichi looked strangely at his uncle, "Why are you asking?"

"Right now, you are looking at thousands of petals and each is a blade by itself and can cut you by all means necessary." Byakuya was not wavering from his stature as the pink Shikai encircled the three children. Senbonzakura then withdrew and walled up behind Byakuya. A single petal made its way beside its master and Byakuya continued, "I will play a game of tag with you."

"Tag?" Yui and Ken'ichi blinked, looked at each other and then glared before looking away. Byakuya wanted to rub a finger against his forehead upon the exchange as Ryu chuckled.

"Each of you will get one petal." Byakuya said coolly and a drop of pink hovered in front of each of the children.  
"What are we to do with it?" Ryu asked.  
"Nothing." Byakuya replied, "Because it is what it will do to you that you must be wary of."  
"What?" Ken'ichi's eyes widened. That did not sound nice.

"This petal will chase after you. Retaliate if you will and must. As time goes by and you are not able to win against it, I will add another and another and another until all of my petals are after you."

"WHAT!" Uryuu and Ichigo chorused, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

Byakuya only moved his eyes as a silent response that said, "Yes, I can."

Uryuu was not watching his son or daughter suffer from amputated anything. He was not going to stand around to watch their _hair_ to be damaged by Senbonzakura or anything concerning that. Ichigo, though a bit nervous, could not say anything more since he had already agreed to Byakuya teaching his son Bankai. After all, this method was not so different from Urahara's. Although both fathers wanted to stop the whole idea that involved their children from being hurt, they did not say anything since the youngsters would only insist on how "insulted" they were.

"H-how do we win this game of tag?" Yui swallowed as she backed one step.  
"If you manage to use your weapon to hit just one petal, you're clear." Byakuya replied.

"One…" Ken'ichi eyed the whole mass of swords that were behind his uncle. If that whole thing chased after him, Ken'ichi did not think he would even decipher which was which. Even the sky would look pink.

"Hold it. Why do my children have to be a part of this?" Uryuu motioned to start towards Byakuya but the Captain's cold stare made the Quincy stop.  
"Have you taught your children your Hirenkyaku?"

Uryuu did not answer.

"I see." Byakuya looked away from him and towards the children.  
"H-Hiren… kyaku?" Yui blinked at her father.

"Hirenkyaku is the Quincy version of Shunpo." Yoruichi cut in as she tapped Uryuu on the shoulder, "Shunpo is a technique that required one to make quick consecutive steps also known as _flash steps_."

"Flash… Steps…" Ken'ichi repeated to himself. Yui was repeating the whole thing in her head. It was a Quincy technique she had not learned. Perhaps if she did then… Then…

"Ojiisan." Yui murmured to herself.

"Now, let's see who among the three of you learns first." Urahara chuckled as he fanned himself, "Hirenkyaku or Shunpo?"

Hirenkyaku.

Yui straightened.

Shunpo.

Ken'ichi raised his head.

Ryu groaned as Ken'ichi and Yui exchanged "I'm-not-losing-to-you" glares.

"I'll ask you again." Byakuya lifted his head slightly as a sign of authority, "Do you know how to run?"

"Hai." They chorused.

"Good."

The children gasped as the petals in front of them perked in attention.

"Run."

- End of Chapter 16 -

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Author: Yay! MADE IT! I made a chapter today! W00h00! Haha. Thanks for all the greetings. I appreciate it a lot! Yet again, I am overly distracted. Aside from body pain, something else. Muse on about it. Hope you can forgive li'l me. Even a dubbed "Update Goddess" deserves some rest, hmm? Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review! Love you guys! 


	17. Nigeru! Hayaku! Flash Step to Shikai!

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Seventeen : Nigeru! Hayaku! Flash Step to Shikai!**

* * *

Left. Right. Left. Right. LeftRightLeftRightleftrightleftright. Up!

Ah!

"Oh, you _idiot_!" Yui grabbed Ken'ichi's black sleeve even before he could fall forward. Now he knew why his Ojisama asked them if they knew how to run. Right now, he was forgetting! Up? When the hell did he have an "up" foot? Seriously, fifteen petals were now after him and he could feel the pressure on his head. He was forgetting how to run, damn it! If there is _nothing_ wrong with _forgetting_ that you had only a left and a right foot and no _up_ foot then the world was screwed as it is!

"Hurry up!" Ryu looked back on Yui and Ken'ich who were a few paces behind them. The Ishida boy was fast and it was not only once when all of them were saved by that triangular shield of his. Plus, he kept on moving at an irregular pace and Ken'ichi could swear he was losing track of Ryu's footing.

Flash steps?

Ken'ichi looked behind him.

How many were there? Last time he counted, there were fifteen. And now?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, left, right, left, right…

Ken'ichi groaned. Great, now he was forgetting how to count!

"I don't wanna run anymore!" Ryu complained.  
"Well, would you rather be minced by pretty pink things?" Yui asked.  
"NO!"

Byakuya had made it clear that he would slice, chop, mince, grate, shred, hash and blade them if need be. Uryuu had thrown a fit upon seeing his children being wounded by the small petal blades and Ichigo was too shocked to even open his mouth. Rukia had screamed for them to run and assured them that if they failed to comply, Byakuya would only resort to three things.

One, give them one hell of a blade party.

Two, kill them.

Three, give them one hell of a blade party _then_ kill them.

If Rukia did it to encourage them or to warn them, no one was sure but Yoruichi's side comment that reminisced on Rukia's execution in connection to Byakuya was enough to keep the children running.

"I still don't see the point why _he_ has to teach my kids Hirenkyaku when he's not a Quincy to begin with." Uryuu pouted.  
"Uryuu, you have to admit, there is no difference between Hirenkyaku and Shunpo except the name." Orihime said thoughtfully.  
"Not true. Hirenkyaku is faster."  
"Oh, can anybody say catch me if you can?"  
"Shut up, Ichigo."  
"Catch me if you can!" Renji laughed at Uryuu.  
"SHUT UP, RENJI!"

"Isn't it cute, ne?" Yoruichi sighed as she put her hands on her waist, "Little Byakuya loves kids now."

Ichigo and Uryuu deliberately raised an eyebrow at the cat-transforming woman who ignored them. Love? That was some twisted logic Byakuya had, then.

"True. Byakuya-niisama would not waste a drop of reiatsu for things, people or events he did not care about." Rukia nodded as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully.  
"I've never seen him put any effort to something that didn't concern rules and formalities and promises." Renji nodded as well, "And I've never seen Senbonzakura this _slow_."  
"That is so sweet, then!" Orihime smiled.

Ichigo and Uryuu exchanged looks. There were currently three children being chased by what looked like a hive of pink bees. Were they the only ones who were seeing this or was there actually a field of flowers where Byakuya chased the kids like in a fairytale movie? Hell, no. It seemed as though only they were the ones who could not see the "love" part in everything. If Byakuya was sadist or masochist then so help them, they were going to take their kids and Shunpo-kyaku-whatever out of the place.

"This is a very interesting way of teaching." Urahara folded his fan and leaned on his cane, "It develops various aspects of them, yes?"

"Yes." Yoruichi replied.  
"Aspects?" Orihime blinked.  
"Aspects." Urahara nodded at her, "You see, this is a bit psychological. He is trying to put Ken'ichi under pressure for him to achieve Shikai as well as nakama."

"Nakama?" another blink from Orihime and Uryuu looked at the three running children as he muttered, "My children?"

"Yes, yes." Urahara smiled as he fixed his hat and waved a finger, "Your children have this natural spark to protect other people. From the bickering we witnessed earlier, we could say that the children are fond of each other's company because they share the same world."

Ichigo was keeping his eyebrow raised. If he remembered it right, Ken'ichi and Yui were grabbing each other to rip the limbs off one another and Ryu gave them a hit and a slap consecutively. Either both love and life itself was now twisted or Ichigo was out of place. But Urahara was Urahara. Expect him to see the unseen even under the wisps of his pale bangs that shadowed his eyes.

"You would agree with me if I told you that this morning was the first time you've seen your children speak to another child of their age like that, wouldn't you?" Urahara opened his fan but did not move it.

"Well…" Orihime began.  
"Yeah…" Rukia finished.  
"That is a sign of trust." Yoruichi grinned as Urahara fanned himself with a small smile, "That is the way they are."  
"I don't understand why my children have to partake in this." Uryuu said again.  
"Oh, doggone it…" Renji groaned as his shoulders dropped, "How many times do you intend on asking the same question, man?"  
"Until someone answers me."  
"Ishida Uryuu…" Urahara sneered, "Isn't it by a method of the same effect did you establish your camaraderie with Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"What?" Ichigo and Uryuu chorused.

"Look." Urahara pointed at the scene with his fan and all heads turned to three desperately screaming children who were bickering as they ran around, "The Hollows you fought were the petals. You compete to hit it while having the same goal. You run. You fight. You find. You realize. And then all of a sudden, there is a need to unite and protect. And poof….! Nakama."

"Oh… Except that Kuchiki-taichou does not resemble a Menos Grande." Orihime blinked.  
"Well, yes." Yoruichi giggled, "Oh, I remember when I taught little Byakuya his Shikai and I had him chased by a hundred angry cats and…"  
"Nonsense, woman." Byakuya said without moving.  
"AH! So you had been listening!" Yoruichi laughed as she clapped, "Bravo for doing different things at the same time!"

Byakuya did not say anything as he looked at Zanpakutou trailing after three children who had barely done anything to retaliate. The Quincy girl had fired her arrows only to miss. Ken'ichi had drawn his sword but received the same effect. Something so small was hard to hit especially when you're the prey. Byakuya did not really need them to hit any of his petals. He just needed to see the results he desired. But if he had not been trained to be patient, he would have been yawning by now since the speed at which his Zanpakutou was moving was boring him quite a lot.

TZING!

The girl fired another arrow. Byakuya only looked as the arrow missed his petal by inches.

"Accuracy my ass!" Ken'ichi shouted.  
"I don't see you hitting anything!" Yui shouted back.  
"Well, for your information, Miss know-it-all, I haven't received any formal training regarding this world we are in right now so cut me some much-needed slack!"  
"Oh, then—AH!"

Yui fumbled forward and Ken'ichi grunted as he instinctively pulled out the sword. He had no idea about what he was doing but his instincts were telling him to do something. In a quick move, he was in front of Yui as he held the sword in horizontally in front of him. He did not know how many petals cut against his skin and clothes but Ryu was quick enough to form a barrier before Ken'ichi suffered further damage.

"I…"

"You klutz!" Ken'ichi grunted and took Yui on his shoulders much like during his their first meeting. The girl shrieked in surprise and Ken'ichi immediately assumed it to being, "What are you doing, you freak!"

"I'm not watching a girl being shred and I'm not letting a girl be the reason for _me_ being minced!" Ken'ichi yelled at her as she pushed her self up and looked at the boy. She could see nothing but the back of his head but she knew he was smirking. How embarrassing to have a Shinigami carry her! Ryu laughed as he continued to run. Yui just knew her twin brother was laughing at her.

"ICHIGO! YOUR SON IS GROPING MY DAUGHTER!" Uryuu pointed accusingly and deliberately at Ken'ichi who was still running with Yui like a doll on his shoulder.  
"Put a sock in it. She's ten. Nothing to grope." Ichigo waved him off.  
"What!" Uryuu blasted, "You're tolerating perversion in your son!"  
"Excuse me?" Ichigo glared at Uryuu.  
"Your son is a pervert! Tell him to release my daughter!"  
"You_Quincy_!" Ichigo drew Zangetsu.  
"What about it, _Shinigami_!" Uryuu positioned to draw out his bow.

"Shut up!" Yoruichi slapped them both on the back of their heads almost at the same time. Both men groaned, rubbing their heads as they looked questioningly at the dark-skinned woman who was frowning at them.

"LET GO OF ME! MY DAD IS LOOKING AT US!" Yui screamed and Uryuu fidgeted. Orihime smiled faintly at the overreacting father as Renji rolled his eyes away.

"Ichigo, tell him to—"  
"Make me!" Ichigo shouted.  
"Why you—"  
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Yoruichi slapped them again and both men's heads threw forward.

"It's not like I'm groping you! You have the body of a little boy!" Ken'ichi complained.

"ARA!" Orihime's hands flew to her cheeks and Rukia felt a whole ton of embarrassment fall on her shoulders. The kid sounded exactly like his father.

"PERVERT!" Uryuu and Yui chorused amidst the laughter of Ryu.

"Instead of wasting energy over there, why not try aiming for one of those to clear yourself, you idiot?" Ken'ichi was slightly huffing and Yui gasped.  
"What?"  
"If you're clear, we don't have to worry about you falling and breaking your nose." Ken'ichi replied.  
"But I…"

"Stop arguing with him, Yui-chan and do as he says!" Ryu said again as he looked back at them. The girl blinked and looked at her brother and then at Ken'ichi. She could not see his face and she had no idea what expression he was sporting. Yui bit her lip and stretched one arm and drew an arrow with another. Ken'ichi smiled upon feeling her do so as six arrows flew from Ryu and towards the girl. The Quincy girl aimed with all her mind as she forced her limbs not to shake from both being pressured and being on Ken'ichi's back while he ran. It took a while since the petals had thickened somehow and it took her a while before she was able to look for a target. Neither of the males she was with were speaking and if they did, she was too busy concentrating to even hear them or care.

_Release. Just let go. Release the arrow. And let it…_

"FLY!" Yui announced and in an instant, seven arrows where whistling through the air. Ken'ichi wanted to look back to see what was going on but Yui's surprised gasp was enough for him to know what she had failed.

"They're so fast!"  
"If only they weren't chasing us!" Ken'ichi complained.

Ryu gasped.

Not chasing.

That's it!

"He did say hit a petal, right?" Ryu turned slightly towards Ken'ichi.  
"Well, yeah." Ken'ichi replied between huffs.  
"What about it?" Yui asked as her limbs dangled from her arched body.  
"A petal. _Any_ petal." Ryu said, "Which means we could hit any of those that are not attacking us right now."

Silence.

Smiles.

"We could go for that!" Ken'ichi was finally grinning.  
"I agree!" Yui seconded.  
"Then what are you waiting for? FIRE ALREADY!"

Yui nodded and stretched out her hand as six arrows once again hovered around her. Ken'ichi was repeatedly chanting "This better work" in his head when all of a sudden, Yui shrieked. Ken'ichi gasped. That didn't sound like a victory shout.

"What is it?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"RUN!" Yui said frantically and both boys looked behind them.

A PINK TIDAL WAVE!

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

Ryu and Ken'ichi had no qualms whatsoever if anyone told them that they were openly screaming like girls rid of their ponies. What was going on! Why were there suddenly a thousand pink things after them! Wasn't it supposed to be one petal at a certain period of time? This was insane! Byakuya was deliberately trying to make them pee if not kill them! Ken'ichi was sure he was going to have nightmares and swore he would see pink when he closed his eyes. Urahara meant it when he said something about their perspective about pink! Ken'ichi swore that if he lived after this, he was not going to insult sakura anything or pink anything!

"Why are they suddenly after us!" Ken'ichi asked no one in particular.  
"You provoked them. If you provoke something that isn't after you then it will come after you."  
"Hey!" Yui shrieked as Ken'ichi and Ryu sprinted for their lives, "You're cheating, Taichou! You never said this was in the rules."  
"I don't remember saying it wasn't."

Yui pouted.

Shinigami scum.

"Some twisted logic but he has a point." Renji scratched his ear, "Yare, yare…"

"KEN'ICHI!" Yui said shrilly as the petals swerved. It went past them and the three children shouted in surprise but could not pivot properly. Ken'ichi fell back and threw Yui off him so that she was able to land somewhere safe. Ryu had immediately cast his tri-link shield to defend himself as Ken'ichi saw everything in slow motion. There was a good distance between the three of them and the wall of petal blades divided itself horribly into three. With a horrific buzz, the three walls of Senbonzakura aimed at them each. One bunch dove for him and Ken'ichi motioned to get up but his ankle stung.

Great. Convenient sprain.

"SANTEN KESSHUN!"

Yui's voice.

"I REJECT!"

A yellow tri-link shield formed itself before Ken'ichi and blocked the petals after him. The boy gasped. A wall of pink whizzed past him.

No way!

"YOU STUPID GIRL!" Ken'ichi bellowed and in an instant, he kicked off the ground with his foot and dove for her at an incredible speed. Yui squeezed her eyes tightly as Ken'ichi jumped at her, shielding her with his body. She grunted. Not wanting to see anyone hurt because of her and not wanting to be saved by a Shinigami, the Quincy girl then gripped him by his clothes and kicked off.

Ichigo and Uryuu gasped.

It was not perfect but those were flash steps.

But not safe enough. Yui's knees gave out.

_You're in a fit. Call me._

How!

_Call me! Now!_

Instinct and adrenaline coursing through his whole body as he held Yui's body in one arm, Ken'ichi drew his sword with the other.

_Borrow my power!_

"CURSE WHAT I SEE!"

_Shout my name!_

"SACERDOTISTA!"

Byakuya frowned. Yoruichi gasped and Urahara lowered his fan. Ichigo looked as his son exploded in reiatsu. Senbonzakura drew back towards its master who was eyeing the boy, making something out of the smoke that was before him. And what was beyond the clearing dust was more than just astounding.

It was more than just unbelievable.

"Impossible!" Yoruichi managed to say but Ichigo was not in the state of mind to ask her what she meant. His heart was pounding. His knees were shaking and he was sweating cold buckets. If he was nervous, he'd understand but this sensation was so different. Very, very different.

"Ichigo." Rukia gripped the back of his haori and only Ichigo's hand moved to take her by the arm towards him. His eyes were pasted on his son.

Two swords.

But that was not what shocked them all.

Not only did Ken'ichi hold two swords. He was holding an exact replica of Tensa Zangetsu and Sode No Shirayuki!

"I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!" Ken'ichi complained as he looked around. Ichigo and Rukia gasped and they both motioned to run towards their son but Yoruichi and Urahara held them back.

Ken'ichi… was blind?

Yes. His eyes had no shimmer.

Byakuya looked at his nephew. Without moving a limb, Senbonzakura walled up again and hurled itself towards Ryu.

_I will be your eyes. It's coming._

"From where?" Ken'ichi looked around as he swung his sword. Yui shrieked as Ryu immediately kicked off the ground and away from the massive danger of pink that was after him.

Ryu disappeared!

"Ryu!" Yui gasped.

Hirenkyaku.

The Quincy boy was a fast learner.

Byakuya's lesson with this one was over and he looked at the Quincy girl.

_Move!_

"Where!" Ken'ichi said again.

"Who is he talking to, Ichigo!" Rukia was gripping his haori tighter.  
"I don't…" Ichigo wasn't able to finish. The cold, disturbing feeling in his body was now concentrated at his throat.

_It's coming after the girl!_

"Yui, run!"  
"No, you idiot!" Yui got up and grabbed him, "You're coming with me!"  
"Oh, PLEASE!" Ken'ichi complained.

_Ken'ichi!_

"Ken'ichi!" Yui said at the same time with the voice in his head. Ken'ichi smirked as he grabbed the girl by the waist and both of them kicked off the ground. She was still grabbing him by his haori so it was unclear who picked up whom but it did not matter since Senbonzakura was making a comeback.

_Block with your left!_

Ken'ichi lifted his left arm and blocked Senbonzakura with the white blade. Byakuya's gaze narrowed. Something _else_ was happening and every fiber in his body yelled about it.

_Retaliate with your right!_

Ken'ichi growled and swung the black sword on his right arm. Ichigo suddenly felt something grip his throat and he coughed. There was a sting in his chest. A Hollow mask flashed in his head. Rukia was saying something but he could not hear her. Somehow, he could only see his son and nothing around him. What was this about? He could see something behind Ken'ichi but it was too blurry for him to see properly.

What was it?

Out of nowhere, a replica of Senbonzakura appeared around Ken'ichi and Byakuya's eyes widened.

"WHAT IS THIS!" Renji exclaimed, "NOT POSSIBLE!"

Senbonzakura in black and white. It was the same — even the reiatsu. The petal blades drew back to contemplate somehow but Ken'ichi was not risking. In a cry of command, the black and white Senbonzakura walled up but just as he was about to strike, more than twenty wounds opened in his skin from his arms to his legs and blood spewed out like sputtering pain. Byakuya was not able to stifle a gasp as Ken'ichi cried in pain and sank to his knees. The boy's reiatsu was changing pattern and in an instant, Urahara, Byakuya and Yoruichi were around the boy.

"KEN'ICHI!" Ichigo yelled with Rukia in chorus.

THWUG!

Urahara's cane met Ken'ichi's head and the boy fell unconscious. His sword changed back to sealed state on the ground. Air suddenly rushed into Ichigo's lungs and it was only then that he realized how much he had held his breath. It was as if something released his neck and as if something heavy was lifted from his chest.

This was clearly not a father thing but something else.

And he'd lie if said it wasn't a Hollow.

- End of Chapter 17 -

* * *

Author: Watch out! I might hit you! You think it's there but nooooo! Okay, figure it out. Yay, Chapter 17 made it today! I'm sick with fever but felt like I had to push through with this. Yeah, I love you guys that much. Kyaaa! Hope it's not half-assed but I tried my best! HASSHA! It's kinda long, though…

Thank you for the e-given cookies!

My fingers are trembling so I guess this is the part where I have to thank you and say "BANKAI TO US ALL! THANK YOU FOR READING!"


	18. Circumstances of Him, Her, Them and Us

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Eighteen : Circumstances of Him, Her, Them and Us**

* * *

_You called her out._

Ken'ichi was growing tired of voices in his head.

_I thought we've made a pact?_

"What?"

_I thought you were going to use MY power?_

"Didn't I?"

_You're endangering yourself. Why didn't you call my name?_

"Well, I thought it was _your_ name."

_That's not my name. Can't you tell her voice from mine?_

"No. You kinda sound the same to me…"

_Next time, listen to me and say MY name._

"It'll help us both if you tell me your name, you know."

_Don't make me say this again. My name is…_

"KUROSAKI-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"  
"GET OUT! HE'S RESTING, YOU FOOLS! GET OUT! OUT! OUT!"

Rabid female voices. Ken'ichi grunted. Women were the earth's poison, man's downfall, silence's murderer and sanity's assassin.

"Welcome back, Ken'ichi." Ryu smiled at Ken'ichi who now realized he was lying on his bed. The boy blinked at the other boy who was sitting beside him and groaned.

"AH! BUT ISHIDA-KUN IS THERE, TOO!"  
"I SAID GET OUT! NO ONE IS SEEING ANYONE! OUT! OUT! OUT! KUROSAKI-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"Is that your sister out there?" Ken'ichi sat up and Ryu nodded as he scratched his head. Ken'ichi was looking at his bedroom door. Right beyond that door was utter chaos and a siren going off like hell. Neither Ryu nor Ken'ichi would want to go past that door right now. If they did, it'd be like tossing their helpless bodies into a war field. Death from being clawed was not very attractive.

"Ara, ara… Ken'ichi needs to rest." That was Rukia.  
"Is he all right?" A random female voice.  
"H-he's okay." Rukia again rather disturbed.  
"When will he come back to school?" Yet another unfamiliar female voice.  
"Will Ishida-kun come with him?" Another girl.  
"What happened?" And another.

"Who_are_ those people?" Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow at Ryu.  
"I don't know." Ryu shook his head.

"Can't we see them?" Unfamiliar female voice. How many were out there?  
"Well…" Rukia began.  
"Why is Ishida-san allowed to see them and not us?" Whoever this speaking girl was, Ken'ichi had no clue but that statement would sure tick his mother off.

"You see, Yui and Ryu are part of family friends and their parents are coming over tonight so…" Rukia again. There was a tinge of impatience. Ken'ichi bit his lip. It wasn't nice whenever his mother was impatient. Looks like his father should buy random rabbit things to settle her mood if this continued.

"But Kurosaki-kun will be at school tomorrow, right?"  
"If you let him rest then yes."

There were murmurs and then the gradual leaving of sound. Ken'ichi and Ryu continued to sit motionlessly on the bed and they gulped, somehow scared for dear life. Whatever those girls wanted, they were sure they didn't want to be a part of it. Moments later the door sprung open and Yui came in with a frown. Ryu smiled faintly and Ken'ichi put a hand on his knee as they watched the girl approach. She was annoyed. Disappointed. Aggravated. Whenever a female was feeling negativity, Ken'ichi was kind of sure a male had to suffer for it. He was starting to believe it was the way the world worked. Was it a balance thing or something?

"I don't believe this!" Yui groaned as two fingers ran across her forehead, "Now I have to put up with the both of you…"  
"What was that out there?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"I can't believe…" Yui sat on a chair nearby and leaned back, "… You have girls after you, too…"  
"What girls?"

"Girls! Ten year-olds! Twelve year-olds! What is wrong with them!" Yui was holding back from shrieking frustratingly, "It's bad enough that they chase Ryu but now I have two boys with me and both of them have stupid fan girls!"

"Yui-chan… You have fan boys, too, you know." Ryu tilted his head as he looked at his sister who was looking out the window from her sitting position. She did not look like it but the girl was listening even if she refused to acknowledge the presence of the other two children.

"I don't like shrieking girls around me." Yui pouted.

"Not like they're shrieking for _you_, you know." Ken'ichi yawned as he stretched. Yui glared at him but said nothing. Ken'ichi finished stretching and scratched his head as he blinked thoughtfully. Yui rolled her eyes away and shook her head.

"That was a cool Shikai." Ryu said, "What's your Zanpakutou's name again?"  
"Sa…" Ken'ichi began and paused, remembering the conversation he had with someone earlier, "I'm not quite sure…"  
"What are you talking about?" Ryu blinked as he pointed at Ken'ichi, "You were able to call it out, right? A black sword and a white sword."  
"I didn't… I didn't see what it looked like." Ken'ichi shook his head as he crossed his arms, "I don't really remember much… Too many voices in my head."  
"Voices…?"  
"Don't ask about it too much, Ryu. It's a Zanpakutou. A Quincy would not understand much about Zanpakutou."  
"But, Yui-chan…"

"ISHIDA-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

That was a loud roar right outside his bedroom door. Ken'ichi's eyes widened. Those were _not_ girls. Though the voices weren't developed so deeply, it was enough for Ken'ichi to say that it was plain obvious that there were _guys_ right outside his bedroom. And they were _not_ saying his surname. He looked disgustingly at the door as his mouth remained unconsciously open while he slowly turned to Ryu.

"Uh-oh." Ryu bit his lip as Yui slapped her forehead and sighed heavily.  
"Who are those people?" Ken'ichi managed to ask.

Ryu only smiled faintly and pointed to his sister. Ken'ichi's eyes widened.

"Fan boys?" Ken'ichi asked.  
"Fans club." Ryu corrected.

Fans_club_? They were _united_ and _proud_ to be the followers of a witch? Something was wrong with these people. Ken'ichi did not give a damn if they wanted to chase her around for the remainder of their lifetime but at least they should leave him and his room out of their antics. How did they even find out that Yui was there to begin with? These guys needed to be taught a lesson — the manly way!

"Well, that's just…" Ken'ichi the proceeded to get out of bed as soon as Yui got up. The girl breathed in and simply said, "I'll take care of this."

"You sit there and I'm going to make these fools remember not to cause a fit right out of my bedroom!" Ken'ichi grabbed for his wooden sword on the wall as Yui trailed after him. Ryu shook his head and threw himself on the bed. He was not interested in getting in between Yui and the fans club or Ken'ichi and the fans club or Yui and Ken'ichi.

"YOU BAS—"  
"ISHIDA-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

KA-PLAG!

Ryu smiled. One down.

"K-Kurosaki!?"  
"Stay away from my room!"  
"I told you to leave this to me, you—" Yui began.

"Who asked for your opinion! How dare you even think about bringing your fans club over here!" Ken'ichi was yelling at Yui. .

"I don't know how they knew I was here!"  
"Kurosaki, why _is_ Ishida-san here?"  
"I should be the one asking questions. What are _you_ doing here!"  
"Ken'ichi…!"  
"STAY OUT OF THIS!"

Ryu made a face. He knew what would come after that

"HOW DARE YOU SHOUT AT ISHIDA-SAN!!!"

To these guys, his sister was a goddess figure that _had_ to be protected and appeased.

Lovely.

Ryu loved the appease part since he really enjoyed munching on chocolates and other sweets they offered his sister. He was hoping that Ken'ichi wouldn't drive them off before they were able to "offer" her something. He was thinking of, hmm, almonds.

"SHUT UP WHEN NOT SPOKEN TO!" Ken'ichi yelled and there was a sound of a body being hit by something. More yelling came after and then random sounds of cursing (Get out, you bastard!), pain (Itai desu!), blaming (If you hadn't done that in the first place…) and shrieking (LISTEN TO ME ALREADY!). Ryu was hell-bent on just playing opossum on the bed, which was not his to begin with. This part of second floor was going to give out any moment now and Ryu grinned to himself.

"OKASAN! TELL THESE TWERPS TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY ROOM!" Ken'ichi complained.  
"We wanted to know why Ishida-san did not come to school today." Said one of the boys, "On behalf of…"  
"Behalf?" Ken'ichi growled, "Behalf or behead? Take your pick!"

Ryu chuckled on the bed. Was that a joke?

"Boys, boys…" Rukia's voice was being strained and the angry vein on her forehead was making itself known across her voice, "Ken'ichi needs to rest and Yui is here because their family is a friend of our family. I do believe you understand, yes? Now, please, go home because my son needs to rest."

Ken'ichi pouted at the group of boys who were walking away from his room. Rukia sighed heavily as she ushered them away but before walking too far, she went back and kissed her son on the forehead then saying, "Go to bed, Kii-chan."

Ken'ichi gasped. Yui gasped. Hell, even Ryu gasped. Ken'ichi felt warmth crawling up his cheeks and his desire to disappear or turn back time was never as strong as right now. Ken'ichi looked disbelievingly at the back of his mother walking away from him as he tried to _forget_ that there was a girl standing beside him.

She giggled. Ken'ichi glared.

In the next few moments, Ken'ichi better not hear anyone ask him…

"What did she call you?" Ryu's voice came from inside the room and Ken'ichi snapped when Yui broke into laughter. Ken'ichi continued to glare at her as she walked into his room where Ryu was sitting on his bed as he tried hard not to laugh.  
"Shut up, okay?" Ken'ichi stepped heavily into his room and closed the door as he put the wooden sword on his shoulder.  
"Kii-chan…!" Yui giggled as she threw herself beside Ryu on Ken'ichi's bed.

"Don't call me that!" the Kurosaki boy frowned and put the wooden sword back on his wall. Ryu was still trying to stifle his laughter so as not to offend Ken'ichi who was now walking towards them. The boy stopped and Ryu was not able to hold back any longer and he burst in laughter. Ken'ichi gritted his teeth and began to strangle Ryu on the floor.

"H-ha… ha… A-aaah!" Ryu was complaining in the middle of his laughter as he tried to break free from Ken'ichi who was grappling him, "I'm sorry, Ken'ichi, it's just that… that…"  
"Kii-chan…!" Yui said again.  
"Stop saying that or I swear I'll pick you up by your skirt and throw you out!"

Yui gasped and she reddened. Apparently, the boy had no intention of sounding like he was interested in her skirt or anything about it for that matter but Yui failed to notice anyway. And she shrieked as she threw a pillow towards Ken'ichi who used Ryu as a shield.

"YOU PERVERT!"  
"Aww… Come on, Yui-chan…!" Ryu was gripping Ken'ichi's arm that was trying to keep him trapped in a headlock, "Ken'ichi won't do that to you."  
"What do you mean!" Ken'ichi looked at his hostage as they sat on the floor, "I _can_ do that!"  
"Oh?" Ryu blinked at Ken'ichi and then at Yui whose eyes widened.

No… Ryu wouldn't dare.

"You know…" Ryu continued innocently as he blinked, "… I'd like to see you try."  
"What?" Ken'ichi instantly released the Ishida boy who was grinning.  
"See!" Ryu got up, "You can't!"  
"Yes, I can!"  
"Do it, then!"

"RYU, YOU—!" Yui forgot whatever it was she was going to say when she saw Ken'ichi looking seriously at her. Blood rushed up to her cheeks as she got up from the bed. Ryu was smiling at Yui but the sister glared at him — a glare that promised hours and hours of pain and torment when everything was over. But right now, she had other things to attend to.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! KEN'ICHI, YOU BASTARD! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!"

"Isn't that from your house?" Urahara fanned himself as he looked out the window thoughtfully, "Ever since that lesson from Byakuya, those kids' reiatsu flow out with their emotions."

"Bah, let them be. After a— Oh, god damn it, Ryuken, could you just stop that?"  
"What is it with you, Kurosaki? This is _my_ hospital."  
"Yeah, but _I'm_ here!"

Ishida Ryuken shrugged and removed the cigarette sticking out from his mouth before ending its life on an ashtray. Isshin grunted as he sat on the chair and rested his chin on his arms that were on the back of the chair. Urahra chuckled as he continued to sit on the window sill. It was funny how Isshin called Ryuken by name while Ryuken called Isshin by surname. This indeed was a very strange friendship.

"Looks like your grandson is something else." Urahara said thoughtfully.  
"Narrow in on that." Isshin replied.  
"Well, I've told you about his Shikai." Urahara was still fanning himself, "We both know that inheriting Zanpakutou is impossible."

Isshin did not reply.

"His sword's name is Sacerdotista." Urahara continued.  
"Sacerdotista, huh…?" Isshin smirked slightly.  
"It means 'priestess'." Ryuken was leaning on the wall.

"I know what it means!" Isshin yelled at the Quincy who simply shook his head as he put a hand in his pocket before moments of silence pushed through between the two men. Urahara continued to fan himself even as a gentle breeze swept inside the small empty room. Ryuken looked at his cigarette thoughtfully and felt for the pack in his pocket as he played with the lighter with his free hand.

"Does Niisama know?" Isshin asked Urahara.  
"He will."  
"You can't hide anymore, I guess." Ryuken commented.  
"I wasn't hiding to begin with." Isshin stretched and leaned back, almost falling upon realizing that there was nothing to catch his back. Ryuken smirked as Isshin caught his balance back and flicked the lighter.

"I thought he'd find you when he learned about your son." Ryuken murmured, "It looks like your grandson's done it."  
"What do you plan on doing now?" Urahara asked as his hand continued to waft the paper over his face.

Isshin answered with a sigh. Ryuken smirked again.

"What's with you, eh?" Isshin nodded at Ryuken, "You're a sucky dad and a sucky grand dad!"  
"And you're just a sucky old man." Ryuken replied simply, taking out a cigarette from his pocket.  
"And you— Ryuken, stop it with the cigarettes!" Isshin pointed and Ryuken stopped and put the cigarette back as Isshin commented, "Sheesh, you're even a sucky doctor!"

Urahara cleared his throat as if to point out the matter at hand.

"You know, it doesn't quite matter if your brother finds him first." Urahara began and folded his fan, "But he might get Aizen's attention."  
"Aizen…"  
"You like complicating things, don't you, Kurosaki?" Ryuken played with a cigarette with his fingers, "Maybe my son was right about you Shinigami, hm?"  
"Complicate things my ass and — damn you, don't even think of lighting that cigarette or I'm going to…"  
"Don't use my cigarette as an excuse to change the topic."  
"You are _so_ sucky, Ryuken."

"You might have to tell your son now." Urahara interrupted the exchange of words as he lifted his leg and rested an arm on his knee, "He's twenty-six. He can't die without knowing."

"If it helps, he'd eventually know after dying." Ryuken shrugged.  
"Well, what's with you and your witty comments, Ryuken?" Isshin raised an eyebrow, "What? Have you been into pot or something?"  
"No, it's just that I don't keep secrets from my son."  
"Oh, really now? Why don't we trade sons for a night? And then let's tell them our secrets and we'll see which son pees first in surprise!"

Urahara wanted to slap his forehead. This was one of the reasons _why_ he didn't want to have a son. Ichigo's hesitation to reveal his son's true identity to himself was probably something hereditary. But Ichigo's genetic make-up wasn't really the topic.

"Yet, again, the matter at hand…" Urahara sighed before anyone could say anything else.

Several moments of silence.

"You should tell your son." Ryuken was the first to speak, "Rather than have him hear it from someone else."

Isshin smirked.

"He'd surely freak out if he heard something serious from you for a change." Ryuken said again.  
"Are you trying to help me or something else?"

"Tsch." Ryuken pushed himself off the wall and pulled out a cigarette before handing it to Isshin and said, "Put it in your mouth. At least do Masaki a favor and make yourself _look_ cool."

Isshin raised an eyebrow at Ryuken before looking at the stick being offered to him. With a smirk he took it and stuck it in his mouth. The Quincy then permitted himself a cigarette as he flicked the lighter in front of Isshin's stick before lighting his own.

"Sheesh." Isshin said as he breathed out puffy smoke and Urahara put the fan over his face.  
"What's your problem now?" Ryuken tucked the lighter in his pocket.  
"How hypocritical… You call me by surname and my wife by name." Isshin grinned, "You're not a very good actor, Ryuken."  
"Thank you."

Urahara shook his head. There are some things you can't understand but there are other things you can't help but be freaked out from.

Perhaps he should try cigarettes to understand.

- End of Chapter 18 -

* * *

Author: First off, thanks for the e-given soup, thermometers, medicine, cookies, cake, chocolates and other things to make me feel better. I couldn't help it. I had to write this down. I couldn't stay in bed. So from that, we have, dyan-dyaraaaan, Chapter 18! Yay! Hope you likes. Woot. If this thing reaches 30 Chapters, I'm going to shock myself, I swear.

Please excuse the next paragraph since it'll be in a foreign language:

_Opo, taga-Pilipinas po ako. Dalawampu't isang taong gulang ngayong taong 2007 at nakatira sa Bulacan kung saan din ako nakapiit sa harap ng aking computer upang magsulat ng mga bagay-bagay. Kung hindi po kayo kumbinsido, ako po ay may account sa Friendster. Paki-tingin lang ang profile ko sa at andun ang address. Pa-add na lang. Hahaha… Salamat sa suporta, mga kababayan, kapanalig at kung ano pa man. Kung mabagal man ako eh paumanhin na lang po sapagkat medyo natagalan ako sa pagpupulot ng utak kong nagkalat matapos ang mga araw ng nagsisimbuyong paghihirap na yumuyurak sa aking kadiwaan... Ewan ko ba kung bakit binubuo ko pa 'to eh makakalas lang din naman siya ulit__para mbigyan ng sustento ang kapitbhay lalo n kapag nag-aawy-aawy ang mga tutubi at nabuntis ng elepante ang langgam._

_Nga pala, ano yung sinasabing kinasal si Lando at Mina?!!?!?!?_

Okay, now that that's over… If in case you have nothing to do, why not check out the Mirage of the Sakura: Revelation of the First. Don't know how many times I've read this to get the spark kicking in. Muahahaha… Anyway, cheerios! THANK YOU FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW AND BANKAI TO US ALL! Hahaha…! –does the Bleach Soul Shout dance-


	19. Baccarat : Dealer, Banker, Tie

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Nineteen : Baccarat : Dealer, Banker, Tie**

* * *

Isshin watched as Ichigo sighed heavily before leaning back on the sofa and boringly switched channels using the remote he was holding while his arm was lazily stretched and placed over his knee. Rukia was still upstairs taking care of the children and Isshin was left in the living room with his son as both of them pondered on various things that neither wanted to share. The Ishida couple would be arriving any minute to take their children home after a good talk. Was tonight the night for Isshin?

"Ichigo." The father began.

"Hm?" The son did not even move from the position he was in. Isshin could hear the random sounds from the TV. Ichigo had answered rather half-mindedly, as he was busy musing on his own thoughts as well, which was probably the reason why he was not able to notice that his father did not continue whatever it was he was going to say. Isshin continued to sit, looking at the television whose screen was obviously getting tired of having to switch from one channel to another. How many times the channel list had looped, Isshin was not sure and did not care.

---

Ryuken took out a cigarette and looked at it before eyeing his surroundings. His son did not want him smoking around Orihime and his children. It was bad for their health. Ryuken turned a chuckle into a smile as he put the stick back in his pocket. Right now, the house was devoid of children. Apathetic as he was, Ryuken did have a space for his grandchildren and he thought they ought to be thankful that he was not as radical or impulsive or overboard as Isshin.

"Uryuu, what do…"

Ryuken looked at the closed door of his office as he heard Orihime's voice trail off. He sighed, wondering how his sophisticated son was attracted to this woman. Back then, Ryuken thought Uryuu would never get a girlfriend so it struck him like lightning, thunder and several calamities when Uryuu came home one day saying he was a father.

There was something more unbelievable than that. Why should he even tell Uryuu anyway?

---

"Oh, sheesh…" Ichigo groaned, "Nothing good on TV."

Isshin's mind commented on how the channel list had looped but his mouth remained shut. Ichigo yawned as his hand put the remote beside him and scratched his head.

---

The door opened with as little sound as possible and Ryuken did not change expression even though his inner self gasped as Uryuu entered the room. But unlike his father, Uryuu did not feel anything upon entering and did not even acknowledge the existence of the other person in the room.

"Uryuu." Ryuken said flatly.

---

"Ichigo." Isshin said again in an unusual tone.

---

"What?" Uryuu went straight towards one desk and began lifting folders. Ryuken slightly tugged his collar and watched his son rummage over files.

"What are you looking for?" The older Quincy leaned back and felt the cigarette case in his pocket.

"Records." The son replied simply as he walked around the table. Whatever it was he was looking for, he still hadn't found it and Uryuu straightened before sending a glance towards several file cabinets across the room. Ryuken threw a glance towards the same direction but did not say anything as Uryuu started towards the cabinets and away from him.

---

"How is my grandson?" Isshin began and noticed the sudden change from Ichigo's beam as he pondered on the reply. It was probably hard for Ichigo to respond after an array of weird events and he was caught off guard with the question.

"Well, several girls have visited him." Ichigo replied, "Um… Okay, so I wouldn't say just several…"

Isshin expected such an answer but truth be told, it wasn't the conversation he was aiming at. But it was a good start. Perhaps he could lead it towards somewhere else.

Hollow. Sereitei. Gotei 13. Shinigami. Zanpakutou. Shikai. Bankai.

Isshin knew _everything_ and more.

---

"Males after Yui, hm?" Ryuken was now feeling the lighter in his pocket. Uryuu only responded with something out of the corner of his mouth among the sound of rustling paper. Ryuken was used to such treatment from his son.

"Uryuu, what would happen if one day Yui comes home with a boyfriend?"

Uryuu dropped everything he was holding.

---

"Pops, my son is just _ten_!" Ichigo blasted in disbelief as he got up from falling off the couch. Isshin rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he looked past Ichigo who was still muttering something about his son.

"Have you taught him about pre-marital sex, son?"

"NO!" Ichigo blasted again as he gripped the sofa cover, "Why the hell would I do that! It's bad enough that he has Kama Sutra for astrology in his head and spoon-fork ideas for sex education!"

---

Ryuken took out the lighter and looked at it thoughtfully. His thumb ran across its surface as he looked at Uryuu who was busy picking up everything he dropped after an outburst about how "young, innocent and fragile" his daughter was. Uryuu grumbled as he knelt down, stacking folders one after the other and checking if the pages were all in series.

"… And most of all, Ryu is not a pervert like Ichigo's son." Uryuu said finally.

The younger Quincy had chattered off quite a lengthy speech about his children and how they were not yet getting suitors and lovers and fluffy ideas. Uryuu was blushing as he spoke but the father did not comment on it, as the son was busily trying to keep his face as obscure as possible to hide the pinkish embarrassment on his face. Although Ryuken had not been listening properly to what his son was saying, he immediately recorded that in a long time, this was one of the few instances that Uryuu had taken time to say something that was more than just a word or two sentences.

"You know, back then, I had a friend…" Ryuken began as he ran his thumb across the etched markings on his lighter, "…And we kind of made an agreement."

Uryuu did not answer as he got up with the files.

Typical.

"We agreed that we were going to marry our children if they were of the opposite sex."

Folders and paper fell.

---

Ichigo's body hit the floor again. Isshin was admitting to himself that seeing his son fall around without being hit was rather amusing. It took several moments before Ichigo moved his head towards his father and frowned. Obviously, Rukia's father was not Isshin's friend.

"What the crap?" Ichigo grunted, "Why the hell would you do something that stupid?"

"It wasn't stupid. I was preparing for your future." Isshin reasoned. Ichigo continued to grumble as he got up and sat back down on the couch. His arms were spread as he leaned back and looked at his father. Isshin wanted to smile. A "normal" conversation like this was a rarity with his son and he was hoping Ichigo would not notice yet.

"So what happened?"

---

Ryuken felt something weirdly warm upon hearing from his son an encouragement to continue. Even as Uryuu picked up the folders he had scattered again after hearing the comment about the fixed marriage, Ryuken knew he was listening. The father leaned back on his large chair that he stopped from swiveling slightly.

"Nothing, of course. It turned out that both of us got sons."

Uryuu released a sigh. Sigh of relief. Ryuken permitted half a smile on his lips.

"I wouldn't do such a thing to either of my twins." Ishida said as he reached out for one paper that flew farther from the slight breeze. He grunted and inched farther to no avail. With another grunt, he slightly shifted so that he could crawl after it and a flash of thoughts from Uryuu's childhood seeped into Ryuken's head.

Memories, eh?

"Wouldn't you want to feel secure with whom your son or daughter is with?" Ryuken asked.

"Of course." Uryuu replied as he neatly stacked the paper together and put them to one side, making sure they wouldn't get blown away again, "But I would like her to choose before I say anything."

---

"What if your son marries someone weird?" Isshin began. This was hard.  
"Weird?" Ichigo cocked an eyebrow at his father, "What do you mean _weird_?"

Ichigo wanted to enumerate how _weird_ the circumstances were already were but given that this was his father he was talking to, he chose to shut up. Isshin had already read this thought in his son's head but said nothing.

"Just that." Isshin looked at Ichigo, "You know… Other people. You see ghosts, right? Let's say a ghost is attracted to your son and vice-versa. What would you do?"

Ichigo still kept his eyebrow raised. If "ghosts" was a term that could be used to describe the things only _people like him_ are able to see then Rukia's Shinigami form would definitely count. And from there, "Kurosaki Ichigo married a ghost".

"Well…" Ichigo pouted slightly in contemplation, "I don't know. What kind of ghost?"

Shinigami? Hollow?

---

"It's too early for anything." Uryuu said with a sigh as he placed the folders back into the drawer he had pulled out. Apparently, he still hadn't found what he was looking for.

"You're a Quincy. You should know better than that."

Uryuu stiffened and paused but said nothing as he proceeded to pull the next drawer.

"What if one of your children marries a Shinigami?"

There was a gasp.

---

"What have you been up to lately, old man?" Ichigo was still leaning back as he tried to maintain composure even as random thoughts about Ken'ichi entered his head.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean, is this a Don Kan'onji thing?" Ichigo faked a yawn. "Why are you suddenly bringing up things about ghosts?"

Isshin fidgeted. If Ichigo noticed or not, Isshin did not know. There was the dreaded question but he could not bring himself to answer his son. Ichigo lazily scratched his ear as he stretched his legs.

"Ichigo, what if you were a ghost?"

_I'm Shinigami, old man._

"What about it?" Ichigo murmured, still scratching his ear.  
"Wouldn't you wonder why?" Isshin looked at the floor.  
"Why?"

"Well… If you're a ghost, wouldn't it make _me_ a ghost as well?"

Ichigo stopped scratching his ear.

---

"Why would any of my children marry Shinigami?" Ishida asked his father.  
"Why wouldn't they?" Ryuken crossed his legs and took out a cigarette stick. He thoughtfully looked at it as he kept his lighter in his pocket, "After all, I don't see other Quincy for them to marry."

"What is the Quincy legacy to you?"  
"Nothing much."  
"Why are you asking then?"  
"Why can't you answer?"  
"Ryuken…"

Uryuu had always called him by name out of despise. Ryuken had never admitted being bothered by it but he was. Although he appeared to be cold as stone, he was not completely devoid of feelings. After all, Uryuu _was_ his flesh and blood.

"They share the half of the same if not exactly the same world." Ryuken was slightly moving his chair to turn left and right, "Opposites melded with equivalence. It is a good equation."

"Quincy and Shinigami are two different things."  
"I don't see how." Ryuken twirled the cigarette in his fingers.  
"Bows and swords look different. They are even used differently."

Ryuken smiled at the implication on Uryuu's words but nonetheless, answered his son with a solid comeback, "Both of them are weapons."

Another gasp traveled from Uryuu's lips and across the room.

---

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo was tensing inwardly. His father was making sense and yet somehow not. It was almost like his father knew about him being Shinigami. But, no, he didn't, did he? And yet, the old man made quite a point back there. Ichigo was Shinigami. Ken'ichi became Shinigami. But Ichigo only became Shinigami because Rukia gave him Shinigami powers, right? Right. That part was true so there was no way Isshin could be Shinigami. Besides, his father couldn't even see spirits let alone Hollows and Zanpakutou.

"Well, if I were a ghost…" Ichigo continued from his father's unusual silence that the son still failed to notice form all the wild thoughts running around in his mind, "… Ken'ichi would also be a ghost."

"Possible." Isshin nodded, "What does it make me, then?"

_Being Shinigami can not be inherited. It requires six years of training._

Ichigo breathed in heavily. At least he could hold on to that.

"Not necessarily a ghost." Ichigo replied, "Since the whole chain could start with me."  
"Like you transformed into a ghost?"  
"Umm… Yeah, kind of."  
"How would you transform into a ghost?"  
"Someone kills me, of course, what kind of a question is that?"  
"Another ghost?"

Ichigo paused.

Rukia was Shinigami. Was "ghost" a term being used to shadow the word "Shinigami"? Did his father find out? Did his father know? Could his father see? What happened? Why? Who? What's going on? What's with the whole ghost conversation?

---

Uryuu swallowed hard. He wanted to turn and glare at his father. Back then, he normally would but right now, he didn't have the guts. He didn't know why but he just couldn't tell his father that his children would not marry Shinigami. After hearing Yui's sharp words about being kept and about being deprived of a normal life, Uryuu never regretted being Quincy as much as he did for that moment. If he had not been Quincy then his children wouldn't be Quincy and then perhaps, his children would be normal. They could live with other children, mingle, laugh, smile, play… No training. No Hollows. No worries. Nothing.

There were no other Quincy children to share this legacy with.

Perhaps for the cause of bringing his children up normally for their sake, the Quincy lineage could stop and eventually…

Uryuu gasped.

No. What?

Ryuken slightly smiled. His son was somehow getting the point.

---

"Ghosts…" Ichigo swallowed. He was now beginning to perspire.  
"Ghosts…?" Isshin's head tilted innocently as an urge for Ichigo to continue. The Shinigami Representative held back from biting his lower lip.

"Ghosts don't kill humans. Monsters do that." Ichigo replied. For a moment there, the whole thing sounded like some kids' TV show and Ichigo wanted to groan. If ever there was any implication in his father's words, he just wanted the old man to spit it out. The whole thought and question about his father knowing about Shinigami by any chance was killing him. And if it turned out to be that way, Ichigo would want to know how and why?

Did Karin tell him?

No. Karin wouldn't do such a thing. She knew better than spill something so important, heavy and serious to another member of the family.

"I thought Shinigami took human souls?" Isshin rubbed his beard as he looked thoughtfully at the floor. He had told himself that he would watch Ichigo's reaction but Isshin was unable to do so. Saying the word "Shinigami" in front of his son was not easy and Isshin missed Ichigo's mouth slightly opening in a silent gasp and "what the hell".

"Shini… gami?" Ichigo stammered. Was it just him or the conversation was going somewhere?  
"Yeah, Shinigami. It's a folklore about some supernatural thing that takes human souls…"

No, old man. Ichigo wanted to slap Isshin with his palm. No, Shinigami were from Soul Society. They kill Hollows who eat human souls. They wear a black kimono. They run around with swords known as Zanpakutou.

Hollow. Sereitei. Gotei 13. Shinigami. Zanpakutou. Shikai. Bankai.

If only Isshin knew.

If only, indeed.

---

"What did you tell my children about Shinigami?" Uryuu was trying to glare at Ryuken.  
"What did _you_ tell your children about Shinigami?" Ryuken put the cigarette in his pocket and closed his eyes, "I wouldn't tell them much."  
"What did you tell them?"

---

The phone on Ichigo's pocket began to beep. The orange-haired Shinigami Representative was unable to gasp as he felt for it and took it out. It was hard tearing off his questioning gaze from his father as he flipped it open and looked at the Hollow indicator on its screen.

He and Rukia were the only ones near it. Rukia can't go. He should.

---

"I have to go." Uryuu put the files on the table.

"Your Shinigami friend will take care of it." Ryuken commented and Uryuu sent another glare as he walked passed his old man. The younger Quincy stepped out of the room and sent his father one last stare before closing the door and saying, "He's not my friend."

Ryuken looked at the door where his son used to be. With a smirk, he lit a cigarette in his mouth.

"Not friends." Ryuken muttered and puffed out smoke, "Brothers, perhaps?"

Ryuken's cell phone began to ring.

"Hello?"  
"Hello my ass." A gruff voice said from the other line. Ryuken shook his head saying, "I'm assuming you were unable to say it?"  
"Not really but I was unable to finish anything fruitful, I think."

Ryuken fixed the cigarette between his lips.

"Urahara Kisuke won the bet now, eh?" Ryuken replied thoughtfully.  
"God damn it."

- End of Chapter 19 -

* * *

Author: AFTER A LOOOOOONG TIME, I FINALLY MANAGED TO BRING OUT CHAPTER 19! THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE ONLINE FOR KICKING ME AND TELLING ME TO GET MY STORY UP!! My YM is never lonely with you guys popping out! THANK YOU!

Yes, I add people on YM. –points to e-mail add- Feel free to do so. Just leave a message that you're from so I could put you in the right group. I'm on every so often.

Sorry it took me too long! Lots of things are going on over here! Waah! I'm okay now! Thank you for the e-given everything! I'm happy! I hope you haven't lost interest in the story! Sorry for taking so long… too long, actually. Well, something's trying to kill the Update Goddess so I was hoping you'd help her NOT die. –grins faintly- That's the only explanation I can give you right now. Haha. Dumb-ass.

Anyway, I hope the sequencing didn't confuse you. The shifting from Ishida to Kurosaki was kind of challenging but fun. I'm starting to like the Quincy-Shinigami relation Ryuken and Isshin share. Don't know why. They have a history and we know it… What it is exactly, well… That's what I'm trying to make up. Ahahaha!

Thank you for reading! Please give a review! I love you guys! Oh, and thank you to those who added me up in Friendster! I'm sorry for not being able to come up with comments for you guys! I told myself I'll only give personalized comments and nothing more, nothing less. Yeah, so if you're on Friendster and you've added me, please drop by my page and leave me a comment that you came across me via so that I might conjure up something for you, eh?

Next paragraph in Tagalog:

_Kumusta naman, mga katoto, kauri, kababayan at katutubo? Salamat po sa mga ka-comment-ang churvalu at ek-ek. Sorry na, medyo naiinfest ako ng salitang bakla. Haha. Hindi ko akalain na may mga Pilipino pala na nagbabasa nitong sinusulat ko. Kakahiya. Shy na ko. Hehe. Yung kay Lando at kay Mina, wag niyo na lang pansinin kasi ako pala yung hindi nakaintindi. Joke pala yun. Medyo may kahabaan yung kwento… Actually, hindi naman mahaba yung kwento. Malamang na talagang hindi lang ako sinisipag na isalaysay ang masalimuot na katotohanang bunga ng aking kakulangan sa pagsusuri ng mga bagay-bagay ukol sa aking kapaligiran. Kaya nga ba nasisira ang Manila Peninsula, eh. Tsk, tsk…_

Anywaaaaaaay… BANKAI TO US ALL!

And drop by my blog, will you?


	20. Andjaliria

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty : Andjaliria**

* * *

Ken'ichi gulped as he looked at his dark-skinned P.E. instructor. Yui and Ryu were beside him as the three of them were studied by the man's calm eyes. He did not look like he would do something horrible to them. His calm and deep manner of speech did not imply anything harsh, violent or painful but somehow, something about this man was rather intimidating. Was it his size? Perhaps.

"So the three of you were absent yesterday." He said as he looked at his record, "You will have to make up."

There was a young man beside their instructor. He had deep brown hair with streaks of black and was parted from one side. Judging by how his appearance and the way he dressed, this young man who was always with their P.E. teacher was probably just a high school student. Ken'ichi had always wondered why the guy never went to school. Was he a horrible delinquent or a genius? He didn't look like it especially when Ken'ichi found him peeping in the girls' locker room. Ken'ichi had no idea why their sensible man of a sensei would keep someone like him.

"Y-yes, sir." Yui was the only one who replied.  
"Well…" he said again as he looked at the field, "I want you to run laps until I tell you to stop."

"WHAAAAAAAAT!" the three chorused. The word "run" was currently on an equal standing with the word "trauma" and "pink". The dark-haired instructor did not look surprised as he continued to eye his three small pupils whose color immediately faded from living human color to horrified human deprived of sanity.

"B-b-b-b-but… S-Sado-sensei…"

Chad looked at Ichigo's son who was staring somewhat traumatically at the oval as Ishida's son plugged his ears and murmured something about not seeing pink repetitively. It looked like Kuchiki Byakuya-taichou really had them scarred from Senbonzakura and it's horrors. Chad could only imagine.

"So, what are you waiting for?" Chad pointed with his folder at the field.  
"I-i-i-isn't there any other way?" Ken'ichi gulped and looked at his instructor, "S-Sado-sensei?"  
"Well, you could—" the young man beside Chad began and the Mexican-descent teacher only looked at the teenage boy to silence him.

"Run along now."

There was a groan from the Ishida children but Kurosaki Ken'ichi was determined not to give up.

"Sensei, I have only recuperated!" Ken'ichi reasoned out.

Chad raised his visible eyebrow and the young man beside him rolled his eyes away as he muttered something along the lines of "Ichigo", "Ishida" and "strong lucky bastards".

"Kurosaki, I know your father very well and you are your father's son." Chad began, "He'd get up and run if told to run even just after an hour of recuperation."

Ken'ichi swallowed hard as the calm eyes of his P.E. teacher slammed on his ego. The boy breathed in and ran off. Yui and Ryu groaned in unison before following suit. Chad watched the three children run off as they spoke to each other, bickering along the way, chasing and threatening to pull out vital organs out of each other. Chad shook his head with a smile.

"Why do you follow orders from Shinigami Captains?" the young man beside Chad was commenting than asking. It took several moments worth of the sounds of rustling leaves in the wind and running children before Chad replied, "This is for Ichigo's son."

"I don't understand why Ichigo doesn't teach his son himself."  
"That is for him to know."  
"I still can't believe that bastard married Neesan." He pouted and sighed, scratching his head, "And nerdy-looking four eyes got the big guns. Sheesh, I'm left with Matsumoto-san."  
"Ten years, Kon. When will you change for the better?"  
"Isn't that why Urahara gave me a gigai?" Kon yawned and looked at the three children who were trying hard not to make it look like that Yui was trying to kill the two laughing boys.

"What's so funny, Ryu!" Yui glared at her twin who was running ahead of them.  
"It's just that… Ken'ichi… said…"

"It's true. Your hair…" Ken'ichi looked back at the girl who was running after them. Her hair was tied back in pigtails on either side of her head. She was pouting at him but she did not seem scary. Ken'ichi had seen this face before. Oh, shoujo manga — that thing he swore never to open again because of its mushiness. That was the same thing his stomach was churning on right now.

"GAUGH!" Ken'ichi tripped over something but was able to regain composure. Yui sneered evilly as Ryu asked him if he was all right. Ken'ichi growled at her and dismissed the stupid warmth that was climbing up his cheeks.

"Idiot." Yui commented.  
"Tomboy." Ken'ichi shot back as he continued running.  
"Lame-brain."  
"Slowpoke."

Ryu blinked at the exchange and snickered.

"Someone and someone sitting on a tree…"

Yui and Ken'ichi gasped in attention.

"K-I-S-S-I— AAAAH! NO! I WAS JUST KIDDING!"

Chad smiled quietly as Yui and Ken'ichi chased after an obviously faster Ryu. Kon was commenting on how Yui should inherit the second valley of the gods from her mother in the near future so that he could look forward to another goddess to worship when Chad suddenly felt something weird. He looked up. Kon stopped and looked up as well.

The sky was chipping open.

"What the hell?" Kon complained, "Not here, of all places!"  
"Kon."  
"Right. I'll distract it away from here and—"  
"No."

"What?" Kon was about to kick off the ground to do something when he saw Chad rolling up his sleeves and saying, "Get the children. Hurry."  
"O-okay."

With his strong legs, Kon sprinted with ease towards the three children and grabbed them as soon as the hole in the sky opened. The three uttered a few cries of pain and some curses and Yui complained about being manhandled when Kon seriously told them to keep quiet. Kon was expecting something large to land but what surprised him was that it was something with an actual shape.

"Oh, shit." Kon looked at the sky while making sure that the three children were with him.

"KON!" Chad bellowed at him but he was too busy being astounded by the large winged lion that was crawling out of the sky.

What the hell was that?

"KON!"

What was more astounding was that there was someone atop that winged lion.

"KON!"

A little girl with wavy black hair and apathetic black eyes looking over the area sat quietly. She was about the same age as Ken'ichi but she sported a rather dignified posture, as her back was rigid as she mused on and she looked towards the direction of Kon and the children. Kon shuddered at the pure wave of reiatsu that was sent towards them and he could feel the children felt the same. The girl in white lifted an arm with sleeves extending over her hands.

"Hola?" she murmured.

"KON! RUN!"

"I… Ah… YES!" With full swiftness Kon, picked up the three children rather awkwardly and kicked of to flee as fast as possible.

"SENSEI!" Ken'ichi yelled at his teacher who was still watching them leave. Sado-sensei and Kon-kun could definitely see that thing out of the sky. Ken'ichi was not having his conscience burdened by the death of his teacher from that Hollow's claws!

_Call me!_

'How the hell?'

_Call me!_

'Which of you!'

_Hurry up and change!_

"I need to get out of my body!" Ken'ichi began to struggle against Kon's hold.

"Shut up and listen to your elders!" Kon growled.

_Ken'ichi! Don't panic! Listen to me!_

'I'm not panicking!'

_Call me! She's useless against this one!_

"Ryu, classify it!" Yui screamed.  
"Hollow. Menos Grande. Adjuchas!"  
Kon raised an eyebrow, "What are you, some sort of Hollow Detector!?"  
"I can hear voices in my head!" Ken'ichi told no one in particular.

_Ken'ichi! Shinigami!_

"SANTEN KESSHUN!" Ryu yelled.

"AH! NO!" Kon knew what that meant.

"I REJECT!"

A tri-link shield formed somewhere around Kon. He wasn't able to process properly since the shield "rejected" him. Quick thinking. Worth of Uryuu Ishida indeed! Even Inoue Orihime herself was unable to use the tri-link shield in order to push something away during her time as a high school student. Kon bounced off the barrier, releasing the Ishida twins and loosening his grip on Ken'ichi. Ichigo's son kicked off and Kon cursed as the three children ran back to their sensei.

But even before Kon could do anything, the winged lion's mouth opened and blasted what seemed to be a projectile.

"SANTEN KESSHUN!"

"Shield's not going to make it!" Kon lunged in front of the three and Ken'ichi felt his jaw drop seeing Kon leap towards the quick yellow ball hurled towards them. How was a jump like that possible from standing position! What was more astounding was that Kon had returned the projectile as if it were a mere soccer ball!

"Bala!" The little girl screamed and there was an explosion of two opposing forces. Ken'ichi was unable to move as he watched the whole thing happen before his eyes Kon had not yet landed but instead remained in mid-air and began to move in what seemed to be a spin.

"ARAAA!" the little girl in white complained, "Not fair!"  
"Tsch. Brat." Kon grunted as he spun in mid-air to gain momentum towards the girl.

"SENPAAAAI!" Yui called and she outstretched her arm, drawing out her Quincy bow and arrow as six more hovered around her. As if being called by the Quincy reiatsu, the little girl in white blinked and her pitch black eyes widened at Yui. Ken'ichi and Ryu gasped in unison.

"Ara!"

In an instant she was gone.

Another instant, she was in front of Yui.

"Shit!" Kon cursed and the winged lion Adjuchas lifted its paw to swipe him. Kon dodged with ease and countered with consecutive kicks to the Hollow's eye.

"Puedo verte niña!" she giggled and gripped Yui's wrist. The Quincy girl gasped. She was so fast!  
"Let go!" Ken'ichi motioned to grab her but she disappeared with Yui. Ken'ichi grunted but when he looked, Ryu wasn't there.

What?

"Let go of my sister!" Ryu had tackled the girl on the ground. The Quincy boy was as fast as this girl. At least they have that on their side. She released Yui with a throw and Ken'ichi immediately ran after her and caught her. She was groaning but was not unconscious. Good. At least he wouldn't risk having her father in hysterics.

"Insolente!" the little girl shrieked as she grabbed Ryu to pry his fingers off her neck. The two rolled on the ground. The winged lion roared but Kon was engaging it in a tryst of their own.

"AAAAAAAAH!" The little girl shrieked and with one movement of her arm, Ryu was partially off her. That was all the opening she needed and she pulled out what looked like to be a wakizashi. Ryu's eyes widened, awaiting a stab and was about to summon out his shield when all of a sudden, the girl shrilly screamed, "Ordain and obliterate!"

Ken'ichi gasped. A release!

"RYU, GET OUT OF THERE NOW!"

"EMPERATRIZ!"

But even before anything could happen, a large hand grabbed Ryu and the girl away from each other. The little girl gasped and looked up to see a man holding her sword and halting its release.

"S-sensei…" Ryu muttered and all four children stared in awe at the red and black arms of their teacher. It was nothing so scary but rather very much… astounding. It looked like it belonged to another body. The left looked nowhere like the right and Ken'ichi immediately assumed that it was able to do two different things.

This was neither Shinigami nor Quincy. What was it?

"Enough." Chad said lowly as he looked at the little girl in white that was hanging as she clutched onto her sword whose blade he was holding. It was only then that they were able to process that she was wearing a white dress with a slightly ruffled skirt that was short in front and draped lengthily at the back. Her little feet wore white wooden clogs with straps tied around her leg.

"Release me!" she demanded with a glare.

"DIIIIEEEE ALREADDYYYYY!" Kon hollered and finished off with an equally angry and intense axe kick on the back of the Adjuchas' neck. The winged lion roared and plunged. Kon chased after it, twisting to do another hit as he came closer when from the corner of his eye, he thought he saw the sky open up again.

"Shoot to kill."

Chad gasped.

"Shinso."

Reflexes was more than just so useful for Chad and with a strong movement, he released the little Hollow girl and blocked with his right arm as he clutched Ryu towards him with his left. The Demon's Right Arm met with the high speed white blade that was shot at him. But this wasn't meant to totally attack. It was meant to divert. Chad grunted and turned to his side as soon as the sword dispersed and found no one else but a grinning fox-faced silver-haired man crouching with the girl in his arms.

Gin Ichimaru.

"My, my, aren't we spirited?" Gin said in his usual tone. Chad set Ryu aside and retaliated with his arm at Gin thus creating a crater on the ground after missing.

"Gin, let me go!" the little girl shrieked.  
"Oh, I believe I can't do that, Andjaliria-chan." Gin said as he held the girl and stopped in mid-air, "You've played around too much already."  
"At least let me kill her!" she pointed at Yui. Ryu frowned. Ken'ichi growled. Yui was unable to speak as the girl who was about her own age looked at her.  
"Some other time. Some other time." Gin hissed as the sky behind him opened.

Gin slowly stepped back into the chipped hole and the winged lion Adjuchas flew to join them in their departure. Andjaliria snickered as she looked at them and with a menacing widening of her eyes, she smiled at Ryu, "I'm going to _catch_ you next time and you won't be able to be fast enough to follow."

Ryu simply frowned as the sky began to close and the girl turned her eyes to Ken'ichi and pointed, "I'm going to eat your soul!"

Ken'ichi gasped.

The sky closed.

"What… was that?" Kon huffed as he wiped his sweat off his forehead.

"Arrancar." Chad murmured as his arms reverted back and Ryu ran towards his sister. Ken'ichi was shaking as he felt Yui's weight leave him. If only he was able to change into his Shinigami form.

_We'll get them next time._

---

"Gin, you ruined my fun." Andjaliria said as she trotted beside him.  
"Oh, fun ends like all things." Gin replied carelessly and the little girl pouted. Gin chuckled.

The long hall was rather empty and one could hear Andjaliria's small footsteps against the marble tiles. The pillars towered on either side and Gin looked at the girl who was busily eyeing the ceiling for the heck. Seriously, what would Kaname Tousen do if he were with this girl?

"Kaichzardo might have died, you know." Gin commented.  
"Araaa… You're right." she murmured as she put a finger on her chin and smiled, "Gin-Gin-Ginny is right!"

Gin and Andjaliria stopped before a two large doors that began to open. Light slowly seeped out of the growing gap between them and the little girl looked on. Gin sighed as he looked at the throne where a recognizable man in white stood looking at his precious treasure that was silently being kept in its case. He was not speaking but Aizen knew they were there. The little girl smiled brightly and ran towards him in what looked like flash steps. Soon, she was already before him and Aizen immediately caught her in his arms.

"TADAIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, OTOUSAMAAAAAAAA!" she squealed and hugged Aizen who looked at her as Gin approached.

"Okaeri." Aizen replied and the little girl kissed his nose, "How was it out there?"  
"Aww, pretty boring since Gin-Gin-Ginny had to end the fun too soon."  
"Is that so?"  
"Yesss…" she hissed as her face turned into a young homicidal smile, "To think I found a really tasty sooouuulll…"

Aizen looked at Gin.

"She found him." He said.

"Good." Aizen nodded, "We were too careless the last time not capturing the father in Sereitei."  
"Ironic." Gin said in a playful voice, "We had the mother and father back then so we could've just bred them and…"

Gin chuckled.

"Otousama." Andjaliria was smiling as her finger reached up to her little lips, "I want to eat his soul so badly."  
"You do, now, don't you…" Aizen smiled and sat down on his throne. Gin chuckled again and turned to go.

He was going to be entertained for quite a while.

- End of Chapter 20 -

* * *

Author: CHAPTER 20! Woohoo! Not late! –does the Bleach Soul Shout dance- Don't ask me what Andjaliria means. I made it up. Kaichzardo is also made up. Hehe. Yeah, Aizen has a daughter. Can anyone say "WITH WHO!?!?" –evil snicker- Well, yeah. Hopefully, the Update Goddess is back. –leans back- Thank you for reading. Please review!

Oh, and here's a translation for the Spanish stuff. I edited it. Thank you to **MitsukaiMizuno**and**Luinir**

Hola? – Hello?

Puedo verte niña! – I can see you, little girl!

Insolente! – Impudent!

BANKAI TO US ALL!


	21. Eve of the Countdown

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-One : Eve of the Countdown**

* * *

This was one moment Ichigo was enjoying — sharing a gentle kiss with Rukia on his lap as he sat in front of his table. His arms were lightly around her waist and her hands were on his shoulders as both of them moved their lips gently in a soothing kiss that made each of them earn soft moans of approval and affection.

DING-DONG!

"Coming!" Rukia tore off from her slow kiss with Ichigo who turned back to his papers as soon as she started off. He looked at the series of words on paper and suddenly got tired upon glancing at the discarded brush with ink on its end. He sighed a bit heavily and stretched to get blood circulating. He yawned afterwards, the somewhat serene afternoon making him feel a little sleepy. Ichigo rubbed his eye. Perhaps he needed to rest for a while, yes? Using "that could be Zaraki Kenpachi knocking at my doorstep" as an excuse, Ichigo pushed himself off his desk and started out the room to go after Rukia. He hadn't reached the door when all of a sudden, Rukia was running towards him. He blinked, the sleepy aura diminishing from him.

"What is it?"  
"Ichigo." Rukia immediately grabbed her husband's arms, "Niisama…"

Immediately assuming that Rukia wouldn't be so worried over Byakuya knocking on the door, Ichigo took his wife and walked down the steps. A grown-up Ururu was standing in the living room as she looked up at them. She still spoke in the same tone as she did ten years ago and her eyes maintained their soft, quiet and somewhat sad expression. Ichigo looked at Rukia who was biting her lip and then looked at Ururu as a silent query towards her.

"Kuchiki Byakuya-taichou and Abarai Renji-fukutaichou have been detained in Sereitei."  
"WHAT!" Ichigo fidgeted with the outburst and immediately wore wide eyes as he heard Rukia draw a deep breath.  
"The Manager asked me to invite you to the store." Ururu continued, "Sado-san will bring your children to follow."

Without any hesitation, Ichigo nodded and he and Rukia started towards Ururu.

Kuchiki Byakuya, the man who strictly followed the rules, was detained? Why?

Renji looked at his Captain who was still dignifiedly sitting on the bed across the small cell they were sharing. The noble Captain was able to maintain his Kuchiki posture even in such a cramped space. Renji looked around. For a cell, this one was pretty decent. It was large enough for two beds. Saying it was a "cramped space" was a bit exaggerated but for one who has seen Kuchiki Byakuya's room, this space was just enough to be called "cramped".

"Taichou…" Renji began.

"Kuchiki-taichou…" a recognizable male voice approached and Renji looked to see Toushiro Hitsugaya approaching. Renji looked around. Where was Matsumoto Rangiku?

"Kuchiki-taichou." Hitsugaya said again. Renji turned to his Captain who breathed in before opening his eyes. Hitsugaya continued to wait and Renji was surprised at how the young Captain was not looking impatient or ticked off at Byakuya's unresponsive gestures. Perhaps it was one Captain knowing another that told Hitsugaya that it was already Byakuya's way of saying, "What is it?"

"What happened exactly?" Hitsugaya asked, "You got detained because you used Senbonzakura for training Kurosaki's son?"  
"That seems to be the case." Byakuya replied, "Where is your Lieutenant, Hitsugaya-taichou?"  
"She's watching the entrance."

"Entrance?" Renji blinked and turned to his taichou who was still not looking responsive. Both Captains seemed to have understood each other. It took quite some time to process the whole situation. Matsumoto watching the entrance. Why would she watch the entrance? To tell Hitsugaya if someone was coming? Why would she need to do that?

"Others are not allowed to see us?" Renji was thinking out loud.

"The order has not officially been given so right now the security is low. That is until you're transferred to be detained in your own house." Hitsugaya began, "What happened?"  
"What happened is that I was teaching my nephew shikai using my shikai." Byakuya said coolly and Renji turned to Hitsugaya who was looking at the kenseikan-wearing Captain.  
"Why would you be detained for doing something like that?"

Byakuya did not say anything but Hitsugaya did not seem like he was bothered by it.

"Is it so bad releasing to teach a boy?"

"Taichou…!" Matsumoto's voice came from the door and Renji could only see the outline of her figure. Hitsugaya looked at Byakuya who nodded and then at Renji who bowed. With the flapping of his cape, Hitsugaya walked out of the room. A few more moments and the silence was beginning to kill Renji.

"I wonder if Rukia knows we're here." Renji said as he lay down on the bed.

Renji looked at his Captain who wasn't moving. So much for waiting for a response. Renji put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Byakuya had returned to closing his eyes as he breathed quietly in contemplation. News had probably reached Urahara and if that were the case, it would not be long before Ichigo and Rukia would now. Hell, even the Quincy would know. It would really be embarrassing if Ichigo's group would have to break through Soul Society in order to "retrieve him". Perhaps he should think of a way to tell them not to do anything stupid?

Byakuya sighed. Kurosaki Ichigo. Leave it to him to think up something stupid in the dictionary of all that was Kuchiki Byakuya.

Hopefully, Ichigo was competent enough not to think about barging into Sereitei for a rescue.

"We have to go there and get to the bottom of this." Ichigo was saying now as Urahara opened his fan, "I don't understand how releasing his Shikai in this world could mean detention. It doesn't make sense."  
"Face it, Ichigo. When did Sereitei make sense?" Ishida said thoughtfully and earned a slight nod from Ichigo.

Urahara's fan was open but he wasn't moving it as he eyed everyone in the room. Ichigo was sitting beside Rukia and across them were Uryuu and Orihime. They had taken the news with more surprise than required. Even Ishida Uryuu couldn't stay put. Urahara couldn't blame them. After all, who wouldn't be surprised after learning that the one who was strictly following the rules was detained?

Urahara looked at Ichigo and then at Uryuu. Aside from being quite surprised at Byakuya being detained, nothing much had changed. Urahara wanted to sigh. The bastards were not able to tell anything useful to their sons. If they were able to say something, it was probably only scratching the immensely thick surface.

_Great job, you two. Congratulations on making things hard for me. _

That bet really didn't turn out like he had wanted to. Perhaps he should have forced them to wager something that could mean the ruin of their reputation. Urahara groaned inwardly. Like that would work. Isshin had enough antics to ruin what's already ruined of his shambled reputation as a normal human being… not that he was normal, though, but still… Urahara sighed and the opening door cut his thoughts. Chad stepped in with Kon and the three children behind him.

"Chad." Ichigo nodded at the big man.  
"Ichigo." Chad nodded back.  
"Chad." Uryuu waved.  
"Uryuu." Chad nodded again.

Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow. Seriously, the generation his parents belonged to had quite a way of greeting each other by using just names. Wait, his parents knew his P.E. teacher? Great, more secrets were being revealed. It was obvious that "Sado-sensei" over here was no Shinigami. Perhaps he belonged to another class, say, Demon class? Either way, why were they here? Oh, was it because of the Hollow attack earlier?

Moreover, did it matter now that Kon was flying towards Orihime?

"Oh, the valley of the gods!" Kon squealed as he threw himself at Orihime and the girl gasped as Uryuu immediately slapped Kon, sending him towards Ichigo's direction. Rukia bit her lip. Ichigo knew what would come afterwards and he was not an idiot to wait for Kon's, "Neesan!" Ichigo's large hand grabbed Kon by the face and slammed him on the floor with a loud thud. The three children cringed. That certainly hurt.

"Why you…!" Kon glared at Ichigo.

"Yes, me! What about it!" Ichigo took Kon's head and slammed it again. If this mod soul got up, Uryuu told himself he was going to beat Ichigo in hurting Kon. Uryuu hated men who stared at his wife's breasts let alone try to plunge in between it. Kon had better not done anything to his daughter or he'd make sure the thing would_wish_ to be sent to Hueco Mundo instead.

"Yui…" Orihime looked at her daughter who was quietly rubbing her wrist. Yui gasped in attention and Uryuu noticed. His daughter was not normally like that.

"Did anything happen?" Orihime asked.

Yui did not answer. She was busy reminiscing the feeling of fingers around her wrist. The touch felt so cold and prickly though not painful. She had not experienced a feeling such as that — so intense to remain hours after it had happened. That girl was not normal. She came from where that Adjuchas came from. Was she a… What was it called? Vasto Lorde?

"We were attacked by a Hollow." Ryu replied. Ken'ichi grunted. Ichigo looked at his son.  
"I wasn't able to release." Ken'ichi was looking down disappointedly at himself, "I didn't know how to get out of my body so that girl attacked and…"  
"Girl?" Ishida looked at the children, "What girl?"

"A little girl." Chad sat down as the children walked towards their parents, "An Arrancar looking like a little girl and a winged lion that was probably their pet."  
"Arrancar?" Rukia asked.  
"That is not all." Chad added, "Ichimaru Gin as well."

There was a series of gasps from the people in the room except for Urahara who was now busily studying the situation. Byakuya detained. Aizen moving. The secret was now out to those who know.

"Ichimaru... Gin?" Rukia managed to say as Ken'ichi held her hand between his. He looked at his mother questionably and saw apparent shock. Ichigo and Uryuu looked provoked and bothered. Who was this Gin Ichimaru?

"That means…" Ichigo began.

"… Aizen is on the move." Uryuu bit his thumb in contemplation as his other hand held Orihime's hand tightly. He was not losing his wife and children to Aizen just because they could restore the stupid Hougyoku. He had gone through the hell of rescuing her once and he did not want to undergo it again simply because it was harder on Orihime than anyone else.

"But why?" Rukia was asking no one in particular.  
"He probably wants to do something to the Hougyoku again." Ichigo muttered as his son looked at him. Ichigo stared at Ken'ichi before putting a hand on his head and feeling the boy's hair.

Urahara wanted to slap Isshin and Ryuken for being so horrible. One possible reason why Urahara wasn't a father was because destiny had it all planned that he was going to be a shock absorber! A shock and problem absorber for Kurosaki Isshin and Ishida Ryuken after their failures to deal with their sons and secrets!

"Kon, would you please take the kids to another room." Urahara began, "The adults have something to talk about."

Kon nodded immediately and looked at the children who got up and followed. Their parents accompanied them with looks and waited for several moments after they disappeared beyond the sliding door.

At that same time, another sliding door had opened and closed in Sereitei. Two Shinigami with white capes stepped in the room where an old man with a long beard and a cane stood. They bowed at the same time and the old man nodded. The two men straightened at the silent gesture and exchanged glances as if waiting for each other to speak. Yamamoto cleared his throat and looked at them.

"Well…?" Yamamoto began as he looked at the head of the Technological Department.

"It appears that the boy has acquired one of his swords." Mayuri replied in his usual tone, "But it appears that he still uses it in an incomplete form. The case is rare and there is a possibility of it being inherited. In this situation, we may say that the boy acquired it genetically or something along those lines from his father."

"Interesting…" Yamamoto stroked his beard and looked at Mayuri.

"The Zanpakutou that Kuchiki Byakuya-taichou awakened in the boy is not of Shinigami roots. There are only two known elements that can use Zanpakutou so by rule of elimination, if it is not Shinigami's, it is a Vasto Lorde's." Mayuri continued, "However, it is clear that Kurosaki Ken'ichi has Shinigami powers so it must mean that it coexists with Hollow powers that dwell in him."

Yamamoto silently turned to Ukitake Jyuushiro.

"According to the information we have collected from the incident during the Nobles' Assembly ten years ago, Shinigami Representative Kurosaki Ichigo summoned what seemed to be a mask." Ukitake began and paused for a while, "A Hollow Mask… while maintaining sanity in his Shinigami form in Bankai."

"A Hollow Mask, eh?" Yamamoto put both hands on his cane, "How long did he wear his mask?"  
"Our sources say that it was approximately five to ten seconds that he wore the mask."  
"Was there indication that the boy could've gone longer?"  
"We have no clues regarding that, sir, since the match ended soon after he took out the Hollow Mask."  
"I see." Yamamoto was not moving and it was unclear whether he was looking at any of the two Captains in particular, "Who was Kurosaki Ichigo fighting then?"

"He was fighting Maeda Naruhiko, Shinigami owned by the Uesugi family." Ukitake straightened and took a deep breath before continuing, "Bought from former fifth squad Captain Aizen Sousuke."

"Oh…?" Mayuri tilted his head towards Ukitake.

"We have gathered all necessary information about him." Ukitake continued, "He graduated from the Shinigami Academy with flying colors and was reported to have died from a mission. All information about him is being processed further as we speak."

A thick silence enveloped the room and all three men did not move. Yamamoto's face was unreadable as his finger tapped quietly in what seemed to be either contemplation or discovery. Whatever it was, the Commander-General decided not to share it.

"What should we do?" Ukitake broke the silence. Yamamoto straightened a bit and made a low sound that sounded like a grunt or a groan when someone made his presence known. After an encouragement for Yamamoto to come in, the door slid open again and Tenth Squad Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro entered and bowed.

"Where is the Eleventh Squad Captain?" Yamamoto asked.  
"I was informed that he could not be found, sir." Hitsugaya replied.

The bastard probably got lost in the forest again.

"Very well. Kuchiki Byakuya-taichou and Abarai Renji-fukutaichou are to be detained in the Kuchiki residence and heavily guarded until further notice." Yamamoto declared in a voice that was much more solid than his earlier tone, "Hitsugaya-taichou, you will go down to the human world and return with Shinigami Representative Kurosaki Ichigo, his wife Kurosaki Rukia and their child Kurosaki Ken'ichi _as soon as possible_."

Hitsugaya and Ukitake gasped with eyebrows slightly shooting up. Mayuri wore his "Eureka" grin as he exercised his fingers in excitement.

"If you are met with any form of resistance, you are authorized to use force." Yamamoto replied, "But make sure you are able to take them here _alive_. I would like the boy to perform Shikai in my presence."

There was a louder gasp from Hitsugaya and Ukitake.

"Ku, ku, ku, ku…" Mayuri hissed, "Interesting, indeed… The Technological Department will be more than happy to welcome the boy."  
"Bring with you Zaraki Kenpachi-taichou and make sure that both of you leave_without_ your Lieutenants."  
"Y-yes, sir."  
"All matters discussed shall not leave this room. Any one of you who violates will be dealt with."  
"Understood, sir." The three Captains chorused."  
"That would be all." Yamamoto finally said, "Dismissed."

The three Captains bowed and filed out.

"Chojiro." Yamamoto called and from behind the curtains on the arched door behind Yamamoto came his Vice-Captain who immediately knelt. Yamamoto only turned his head to his lieutenant, "Send out a Hell Butterfly for Soifon-taichou. I need to speak with her regarding the boy."

"Ku, ku, ku, ku…" Mayuri said as the three Captains walked away, "I was hoping to see the Quincy and his off-springs."  
"Kurosaki might give you a hard time." Ukitake muttered to Hitsugaya, ignoring Mayuri's comment.  
"Tsch. And Zaraki-taichou…"  
"What is it about me?" Kenpachi's large body stepped in front of the three captains as he wore a smirk.  
"Zaraki-taichou, we have been instructed to go down for Kurosa—"

"Let's go then." Kenpachi turned to go. Hitsugaya opened his mouth to say something but then clamped his lips back together before going after the war-crazed Captain. The walking mass murder was probably getting hyped about a retaliating Kurosaki Ichigo to even listen to details. Well, Hitsugaya had time to do several things that needed to be taken care of as the Kido Corps opened up the Senkaimon. Said time was not much, though, since for whatever reason the Commander-General had, Hitsugaya was clearly instructed to make haste. If Shunpo could accomplish it then the Goddess of Flash, Shihouin Yoruichi would have no problem doing such things at all.

But, no.

Yoruichi had landed onto the chipping and cracking windows of the Matsukara Hospital ruins. She ignored three spirits that randomly sped in front of her and looked around. The Goddess of Flash grunted and hopped in, flipping her hair back in place as she landed.

Damn, looks like she needed more concentration.

Yoruichi closed her eyes and spirit threads shot up from the ground. She opened her eyes and groaned. The ex-noble woman was not happy having quite a hard time finding her prey but she knew they were around here somewhere. That or they had already left.

One more go.

She closed her eyes and opened them again.

There was a slight tinge of red that crossed her line of sight and she gasped and grabbed for it immediately before it could disappear. Had she been a hair slower, that red thread would have gone. Yoruichi then grinned and ran off to find the owner of the thread and found herself in one of the abandoned rooms.

"I know you're here!" she announced as she walked in and raised her hand, "It was hard but I found your thread."

There was a curse and a groan from two men.

"You and your spirit threads." Ryuken emerged from a chunk of something followed by Isshin who was busily bending his neck sideways.  
"What? It's been a long time since I last did this, you know… Trying to hide my thread." Isshin reasoned out, "And hiding's a lot better than making a run for it."  
"Urahara sent me for you." Yoruichi began.  
"Oh, and hiding in the hospital ruins is a very bright idea." Ryuken said, ignoring Yoruichi as he started dusting his pants, "You just soiled my suit."  
"Hey, stop talking like a girl." Isshin looked at the Quincy, "I don't remember you suggesting anything."

Yoruichi scratched her forehead. If she had to beat up some sense into these men — She cracked her knuckles — let it begin now! The Goddess of Flash had much to do.

- End of Chapter 21 -

* * *

Author: HASSHAAAAAAAA!! Chapter 21!! First off, thank you for those Spanish corrections! I'll change it as soon as possible! Thank you very much! Haha… I didn't know my Andjaliria was not making sense. –faint grin- Anyway, I'll change it. Thank you!

And I am also surprised at the guesses on Andjaliria's mother and stuff concerning her conception as well as Aizen's sex life!

Aizen: Give me a break! I'm not gay, you know!

Me: I think they're wondering… Are you hermaphrodite or something?

Aizen: -glares- You want to die so badly, little girl?

Me: Eep! No!

Andjaliria: Me will eat her soul!

Me: AAAAH! My own OC wants to kill me!

Ding-Dong: The dialog above is a result of being exposed to puertorrican-babe's reviews and lack thereof as of late. Hahaha…!

This was supposed to be up earlier today but the internet was down and I had some stuff to do so I turned it in kind of late. Gomen. Anyway, I love you guys! Hope you stick around! The twist's coming. Hope I don't kill you from anticipation or disappointment. Only two people have heard of the whole plot so far and, well, yeah… That's that. Hope they don't spoil you. Haha.

And, no, I have not e-spread my germs to my readers! –e-disinfects self and fic- Haha! Oh and I'm planning to start a livejournal thingie (Yes, finally…) so I was wondering if anyone could help me out with making a lay-out for it or perhaps direct me to where I can find one? Thankies! I'll appreciate the effort. OH! And I FINALLY received a reply from blushinbluerain about collaborating with her in doing her fic! –Does a silly Bleach Soul Shout dance- Yay! The problem is, I wasn't able to catch her e-mail ad… -face faults- But I'm excited, anyway! Hope you watch out for it! KYAAAAAA! –is excited-

Tagalog paragraph yet again!

_Ayos, pinagmukha kong gunggong ang sarili ko sa page-Espanyol ng wala palang katuturan. Buti na lang pwede kong gamiting excuse na hindi na tayo nabibilang sa kolonya ng mga Kastila… At mas lalo namang hindi ko inabutan yung kolonyalismo. Nagulat ako dun sa mga Tagalog na review na nagsulputan. Parang pop-up window ng mga webpage… Kakagulat. Salamat sa suporta!_

Say it with me, people: BANKAAAAAAI!!!


	22. I Tried To Be Silent But My Mind Said No

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Two : I Tried To Be Silent But My Mind Said No**

* * *

Urahara looked at the clock. It had been fifteen minutes since he sent the kids inside. Yoruichi still hasn't arrived and the former Captain didn't bother wondering about what was taking her. He repressed a sigh, fixing his hat as he eyed his impatient visitors who waited around the low table and muttered upon each other. The sounds had died down as time dragged on and what was left were their low audible musings about random things that may or may not concern the whole situation Urahara was contemplating on. And then Urahara looked at the window. Okay, he could start now.

"So…" Urahara began and heads lifted, turning towards him as his hand remained on the green and white striped hat on his head, "… Want to hear a story?"

Ichigo was the first to raise an eyebrow.

"A long time ago…" Urahara began.  
"Is this serious?" Ichigo asked.  
"Yes, yes…" Urahara took his hand back as he nodded, "Now where was I? Oh, right… A long time ago..."  
"Are you sure?" Uryuu cut in this time. Urahara sighed.

So much for foreshadowing.

"Oh, I have a story." Rukia said as he leaned forward and Uryuu and Ichigo raised an eyebrow, which she ignored, "Only several hours ago, there was a Sixth Squad Captain who was detained for teaching a young Shinigami his Shikai and his adopted sister would like to know why."

"That sounds familiar." Orihime blinked and Rukia would've normally smiled wanly but right now, she was sending a glance towards Urahara who was holding his fan.

"What is so wrong about my son learning Shikai?" Rukia asked Urahara and Ichigo straightened, sending a questioning and demanding look at the store keeper who replied with an inwardly drawn breath as he shifted to a more comfortable position.

"Well, nothing actually." Urahara said casually, "If he indeed learned the proper Shikai."  
"What do you mean? Is there such a thing as a wrong Shikai?" Rukia asked.  
"No." Urahara replied, "But there is such a thing as a non-Shinigami Shikai."

Urahara sent a quick glance at Ichigo and earned a sharply indrawn breath from the orange-haired father. Saying "non-Shinigami" was taking it lightly. Even though Ichigo tried to deny it or hinder it, the information shot through his nerves and his mind automatically analyzed the whole process.

"A non-Shinigami… Shikai?" Rukia again.  
"Yes, of course. After all… It is not only the Shinigami who can use Zanpakutou. That is why no one is born Shinigami."

Ichigo could hear his heart beating louder for some reason.

"Yes, the Espada… were able to use Zanpakutou, no?" Uryuu said thoughtfully, "But what does…"

"Are you saying my son is something like an Espada?" Ichigo was nearly glaring at Urahara not because he was mad at the man but because he was somehow confused. And Ichigo hated not understanding anything or in this case, barely understanding. He did not like patching up fragments of information and sorting out theories to form conclusions. That was mostly Rukia's role in their relationship.

"Are you something like an Espada?"

There were five gasps across the room and Chad was the first one to send Ichigo a questioning look but Ichigo did not seem to notice. There was a heavy sigh from Chad as he slightly moved his legs. Uryuu was shifting glances from Ichigo to Rukia as if waiting for them to say anything but earned none.

"Ichigo…" Rukia looked at her husband who had not removed the half-glare from Sandal Hat who did not mind at all. He was used to this glower Ichigo gave off and the ex-Captain knew that he really did not mean it as a scowl. Ichigo just had a hard time expressing feelings, at least for the non-violent ones.

"You mean that sword… Is a Hollow's sword?"

Urahara smiled. It was working. Ichigo's brain was churning its gears a bit slowly but it was a good start.

"Two Zanpakutou?" Rukia said with wavering eyes of disbelief, "Aren't Soul Slayers supposed to be something like… like… a fragment of one's soul?"  
"Exactly." Urahara was tapping his folded fan in approval, "Shinigami. Hollow. Two entities."  
"But only one soul." Rukia reasoned.  
"Housing two things that required something that was different from the other."

"What does that mean?" Ichigo was thinking out loud with a trace of frustration.

"Ichigo…" Urahara leaned back slightly as he fixed his eyes on the orange-haired Shinigami, "Haven't you ever wondered why you have a Hollow inside? It must be from somewhere…"

"I… Well…" Ichigo began. True. It never crossed his mind to actually find out why he had a Hollow inside.

"Being Shinigami itself is a question." Rukia murmured thoughtfully, "As no one is born Shinigami."  
"But, Rukia, you passed on your powers to me."  
"And it was severed by Niisama but then you were able to regain it."  
"Because Urahara helped me find it."  
"Ichigo, that alone is a question." Rukia shifted so that she could look at him properly, "You can not find something that does not exist."

Ichigo was not blinking. The woman was right. There was a low audible sound of understanding from both Uryuu and Chad. Orihime looked on, musing upon the words and found her self nodding with Urahara who was still mentally grabbing Isshin and Ryuken by their necks.

"So you're saying…"

"You already _had_ Shinigami powers, Ichigo." Rukia murmured to him, "Even before I gave you mine. I kind of just awakened it by exposing your soul to my reiatsu just like how you've awakened something in Orihime and Chad after coming in contact with your Shinigami form."

"If you only awakened my powers, why did you lose yours?"  
"I told you before that you absorbed it, Ichigo."  
"Is that even possible?"

There was a pause. Urahara was nodding in approval. The husband and wife were talking as if they were alone. Things were unraveling properly and if all went well, they just might be able to figure it out by themselves.

"I thought no one is born Shinigami and that not all souls could be Shinigami?" Orihime chimed in.  
"That's right…" Rukia nodded, "Not everyone who graduates from the Academy has a Zanpakutou…"  
"What?" Chad was asking Rukia but was looking at Ichigo.

"That is true." Urahara said cheerfully, "Asauchi is a sword with no name and are given to Shinigami who could not make it to the Gotei 13. Not all Shinigami can call on their swords so Kurosaki Ichigo is lucky to be able to have a Zanpakutou with a name, isn't he?"

"But that crosses out the statement that no one… is born… Shini…gami…" Uryuu was almost unable to finish his sentence upon thoughts bombarding with his head. He was slowly straightening, earning questioning looks from other people except for Urahara.

"What is it?" Ichigo asked Uryuu, "What? What?"  
"Then that means…" Uryuu slowly spoke as he slightly breathed in, "No one is born Shinigami because Shinigami is only a term."  
"A term?" Chad asked again.  
"A term." Uryuu nodded to no one in particular, "Souls… become Shinigami…"

He paused and bit his lip with a firm nod. Urahara chuckled and Uryuu looked at Ichigo and said, "No one is born Shinigami but can be born with Zanpakutou."

"Precisely." Urahara nodded.

"Born with Zanpakutou?" Orihime tilted her head.

"Yes, it makes sense." Rukia clapped her hands, "Non-Shinigami can use kidou. The Quincy can do Hirenkyaku, a form of Shunpo. But not all souls have Zanpakutou… Zanpakutou… Yes, that's it!"

Urahara chuckled again.

"Ichigo, you were born with Zanpakutou from the start!" Rukia laughed as she grabbed her husbands arm. But Ichigo did not look like he was convinced. Urahara was still smiling.

"I don't see how knowing anything about Zanpakutou solves anything." Ichigo said flatly, "If I already had mine, why did I have to absorb yours?"

Another layer of thick, disturbing silence draped across the room.

"Maybe because you had to." Chad shrugged, "Maybe it was part of the whole process."  
"Process?" Ichigo turned to the dark-skinned Mexican.  
"Process in awakening your powers."  
"Araaa… Wait, I'm confused." Orihime was tapping her head, "Did Rukia also awaken his Hollow powers or did Ichigo awaken it on his own?"

Silence yet again. The whole conversation was bringing a lot of questions to the table.

"We've already established that no one is born Shinigami." Uryuu bit his lower lip before he continued, "And a Hollow is born from a Plus so from there, we could say that no one is _born_ a Hollow but only becomes a Hollow after certain circumstances."

"True." Rukia nodded.  
"Then how did Ichigo have a Hollow side?"

"Well…" Ichigo began, "When I was regaining my Shinigami powers, I was a Plus. Urahrara broke the chain that linked my soul to my body and said that I had to change into a Shinigami before I changed into a Hollow."

"I almost turned into a Hollow but… But I changed into a Shinigami and broke the mask."  
"Could that have triggered the awakening of your Hollow?" Rukia asked Ichigo.

Ichigo grunted. He really hated thinking.

"URAHARA!" Ichigo turned to the store keeper who had been laying low and watching them figure out everything on their own. Apparently, Ichigo got tired of the whole brainstorming idea and just wanted answers on the table. Who could blame him? The series of events and unraveling of theories was probably too much for him to muster.

"Why aren't you saying anything!" Ichigo slammed his palms on the table as Rukia tried to calm him down, "You know something, don't you? Why won't you tell us!"  
"I'm sorry, but I am in no position to tell you about your origin." Urahara lifted his fan as if motioning to open it.  
"Oh, who is, then?"

A flying body came flying in through the window and Ichigo gasped as soon as Urahara straightened his arm and stuck his cane hard on the mass coming at him. Ichigo saw a blur of black and streaks of white fly out from the body and out of the window. There was a crashing sound as well as one body hitting another. Yoruichi landed on the window sill with a disappointed sigh, looking down at something behind her.

"You look miserable." She said mockingly.  
"GET OFF ME!"

Ichigo gasped.

Familiar.

He looked at the table.

Eyes widened.

"I-I-Ichigo…" Rukia's lip was trembling, "I-I-It… It's…"

Oh, hell, no.

A large man with dark hair was slumped on the table. His hair was familiar. His body was familiar. His clothes were familiar. Heck, even his _skin tone_ was familiar. Chad had backed as Ichigo gulped and reached for the back of the collar of the man's body on the table.

No.

Ichigo squeezed his eyes closed and Uryuu's gulp was heard clear across the room. Ichigo felt his fingers around the material he was after and with one quick jerk, he lifted it and opened his eyes at the same time.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

There was a scream from the five younger ones in the room as Ichigo released Kurosaki Isshin's body and scampered backwards. Everybody had backed away from the table until they reached the nearest wall. Even Chad was horrified. He could think about shame later! That was Kurosaki Isshin's _carcass_ on the table! No mistake about it! Ichigo immediately took Rukia under his arm as he breathed heavily. What was happening? Why was his father's body on the table?

"Y-Y-You…" Orihime had clung to Uryuu as she tearfully looked at Urahara, "You killed Kurosaki-san?"  
"Killed?" Urahara looked at her in disbelief, "Am I that mean to you!?"  
"WELL, WHAT'S MY FATHER'S BODY DOING HERE!" Ichigo did not even dare to point at the body as he clutched a shocked Rukia tighter towards him.

"Not again!"

Another familiar voice. Five pairs of wide dumb-struck eyes turned towards the window. A silver-haired man with glasses was standing and dusting himself casually.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Now everyone had backed away from the table and the window. That was Ishida Ryuken dusting himself as he grumbled. Uryuu Ishida had given out the loudest scream among everyone. Urahara chuckled and Yoruichi raised an eyebrow, admitting to herself that it _was_ somehow amusing watching the group react. After all, they were expecting more sophisticated surprised faces than screaming high schoolers trapped in the body of twenty-six year-olds.

"R-R-R-R…" Uryuu could not even say his father's name anymore.

"W-What the hell is going on?" Chad managed to say and his four other companions vigorously shook their heads. Whether it was out of disbelief, shock, denial or all that was mentioned, it was not and will probably never be made clear. But things had not subsided yet when another man got up.

"YOU BASTARD!" Isshin in Shinigami garb glared at Ryuken.

Urahara waited.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Right on cue.

"OH, SHUT UP! YOU'RE TOO NOISY!" Yoruichi motioned to aim a fist at them but stopped upon seeing the five of them pale and shaking in surprise. They had huddled together with Chad in the middle and all of them trying to phase through the corner. Rukia deliberately had her limbs wrapped around Ichigo's body and Ichigo was gripping Chad's arm with one hand and clutching Rukia towards him with the other. Orihime was in between Uryuu's legs and Uryuu's free arm held her since Chad had grabbed his other arm to use the Quincy as a shield. Wow, the surprise really hit them like a mallet on the head, didn't it?

"I-I-Ichigo… W-Why is your father calling my father a bastard?" Uryuu was trying to look at Ichigo but could not peel his eyes off Ryuken who was looking away and Isshin who was doing the same.  
"I don't even know why my father is dressed up as Shinigami." Ichigo gulped.  
"He's kind of old for trick-or-treat." Orihime tried smiling faintly.  
"Isn't it too early for trick-or-treat?" Rukia asked, trying to make sense out of the whole situation.  
"Isn't this the whole trick part?" Chad managed to say.

"I heard them scream!"  
"What's going on there?"  
"That wasn't my dad screaming like a girl, I swear!"

The four parents snapped to attention upon hearing the voices of their children coming towards them. They looked at the window and gasped, looked at the sliding door and gasped again. With thoughts coinciding, all four of them crawled clumsily and awkwardly to prevent the fusuma from opening, leaving a still bewildered Chad who was half-thankful that he was not married yet.

"W-W-We're all right!" Orihime said as Ichigo and Uryuu held onto the door. Yoruichi shook her head. Those were just three kids and one mod soul beyond the door and not Incredible Hulk trying to barge in for them.

"Are you sure, Okasan? We heard you screaming." Yui asked.  
"Y-Yes… We're fine, dear."

"Otousan…!" Ken'ichi's loud and solid voice pierced through the fusuma.  
"Y-Yeah?" Ichigo tried to sound convincing and tried _not_to look at his or Uryuu's father climbing through the window and into the room.  
"Who was that guy screaming like a girl? You or Ryu's dad?"

"THAT WAS CHAD!" Ichigo and Uryuu chorused and for a while, Chad forgot that he was freaking out but dismissed the thought of answering back.

"Now go back inside with Kon, Kii-chan…" Rukia urged as she tried settling her breath as she distracted herself from looking at the two fathers muttering to each other in the room. There was giggling and then laughter from the other side of the door and then the sound of running children and threats of being skinned alive before being tossed in rubbing alcohol.

"Okay…!" Urahara announced happily as Yoruichi took her seat near him, "Why don't we all sit down around the table and pick up where we left off, yes?"

Pick up? If there was anything to be picked up, it was their sanity. Why was Isshin wearing a black kimono with a Captain's cape knotted on his arm no less! And why did he so casually talk to Ryuken like that especially now that they were sitting side by side to Urahara's left! Ichigo could feel that even Zangetsu had grabbed his cheeks, opened his mouth and screamed till his throat was dry and sore. If it rained in Ichigo's inner world whenever he was sad then perhaps there was an earthquake every time he was shocked. And judging by the shock that was coursing through his body that instant, his inner world just might be ground zero as of the moment. Uryuu had lost or forgotten all dignity whatsoever. Hell, even his hair was twitching from all the surprise. Surprise? It was more like his reiatsu had zapped the back of his head!

"What's going on?" Rukia asked as she looked at her father-in-law who was trying to look like he was not conscious of his own body lying like a carcass on the table.

"Please sit down and we'll explain."

Silence.

"Noooooooo…" the four shook their head.

"Explain now." Uryuu insisted in an unusual wavering tone.

"Pops, why are you… you… you… wearing…" Ichigo could not point at his father.  
"Oh, this?" Isshin looked at himself, "Well, I don't know. They just made me wear it."  
"Really?" Ichigo was partly relieved.  
"No." Isshin grinned.  
"GOD DAMN YOU!" Ichigo yelled in frustration.

"Yes, hello, Shinigami son! Meet your Shinigami dad!" Isshin gave Ichigo a thumb's up pose and Ichigo visibly cringed and clutched onto Rukia for support lest he was either going to throw up or faint.

"Man, I'm so cool." Isshin murmured to Ryuken.  
"At least you wish." Ryuken muttered back and looked at his son, "Uryuu, detach yourself from your wife and sit down."

Uryuu gulped but did not move.

"Uryuu." Ryuken again.  
"No."  
"Uryuu…!"  
"No!"  
"Uryuu!"  
"NO!"

"Don't make me…" Ryuken motioned to get up.  
"No! Stay where you are!" Uryuu pointed at his father who raised an eyebrow, "I just… need… to… breathe… Okay? Okay? Okay… Okay…"

"Okay…" Orihime repeated.

"Breathe…" Rukia nodded.

"Inhale…" Ichigo began.

They drew in air.

"Exhale…" Uryuu continued.

Everyone breathed out.

"Is this working, guys?" Chad said, seemingly having an out-of-body experience from all the surprise.

Urahara sighed.

"And this is why we should've done this a long time ago."

- End of Chapter 22 -

* * *

Author: Sorry, I'm late! Something came up! Haha! And something's up my sleeve both regarding this fic and, well, not regarding this fic! I'm fixing things but I'll tell you as soon as I straighten things out! Hope you stick around for my announcement! 

Finally, they meet! I kind of had fun writing this chapter. Yeah, if they're OC, let them be. Even YOU'LL go OC when you see something as unusual as that. I know I'd go OC if I… -grins- Never mind.Thank you for reading and please review!

Shout and do the Bleach Soul Shout dance with me, people!

BANKAI!


	23. What The Hell Are You Talking About?

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Three : What The Hell Are You Talking About?**

* * *

"What the crap is this about!"

Ichigo had repeated and exclaimed for the seventh time. Isshin knew. He counted.

"Ichigo, if you would just shut up then you'd get your answers!" Isshin was half-glaring at his son. Ichigo stopped. It was the first time he heard his father in a tone as demanding as that and concerning something serious. For the past few minutes, Uryuu had said nothing and done nothing but glare at his father who was not acknowledging him at all.

"I've been asking…" Ichigo began again.

"If you don't shut up, you fool, I'm going to shove this thing down your throat and _release_ it there!" Isshin held up his Zanpakutou and Ichigo felt like he bit his tongue out of instinct. That was not just a demanding tone. That was a reiatsu wave his father sent out. Judging by how Rukia clamped her lips tighter, Ichigo summed she was stunned by it, too.

"Oh, I love energetic conversations but I'd really like to begin now…" Urahara smiled and opened his fan.  
"What is this all about?" Uryuu was aiming at his father, "You're with Shinigami?"

"Are you not?" Ryuken shot back.  
"Answer the question."

"Can we just get to the bottom of this?" Rukia was somehow complaining, "Please?"

"Oh, yes, why not, my daughter-in-law!" Isshin smiled. Ichigo cringed.  
"Good. Then you could start by telling me… WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE SHINIGAMI!"  
"Why would I? Did you ask?"  
"That's not the point!"

"What are you complaining about?" Isshin scratched his ear, "You didn't tell _your_ son he was Shinigami. He had to find out for himself. You're even lucky I walked up to you and told you!"  
"You…" Ichigo growled.

"Please!" Rukia released an exasperated sigh.

"I thought being Shinigami could not be inherited?" Ichigo was asking Urahara but was eyeing his father.  
"True." Urahara nodded.  
"Then why did I inherit it from my father?"  
"You did not inherit it from me—"  
"Shut up! I'm not talking to you!"  
"—Because you're not Shinigami!"

Ichigo stopped for the nth time and his mouth was left open. Orihime was the only one who gasped. Rukia clenched her fists in surprise and slowly turned to her husband who was gritting his teeth, gripping the end of his shirt and furrowing his eyebrows as he narrowed his gaze towards his father. He was going to do something. Rukia should…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Ichigo got up violently and grabbed his father by his haori. Rukia got up as well, appealing for Ichigo to stop but her angry husband shook her away. He lifted his father who did not even waver even as he was pressed onto the wall. Urahara and Yoruichi watched on and Ryuken only followed with his eyes, wary of Uryuu and Orihime. Ichigo grunted and released his father, using his Shinigami Representative badge on himself. Rukia gasped, catching Ichigo's falling body as the orange-haired Shinigami Representative proceeded to once again pinning his father on the wall.

"Black haori, black hakama, Zanpakutou, Shikai, Bankai…!" Ichigo said furiously, "What do you call this? What do you think this is, huh! What, you bastard! Tell me! Don't I look like Shinigami to you!"

Isshin grunted and one of his hands reached out for Ichigo's head. The son blinked for a second and it seemed as though his father was about to grip his hair but, no. Surprise shot through him when he felt his reiatsu being channeled somehow and his father's hand came down over his face, pulling out Ichigo's Hollow Mask in the process.

_HOLY SHIT!_

"AAH!" Ichigo carelessly and hysterically backed before releasing Isshin and his hands reached frantically for the mask and removed it. The Hollow Mask dissipated and Ichigo stared at his trembling fingers, watching the white fade away before feeling his face. The mask was gone. His mind was racing and he felt himself breathing heavily before sending his father a questioning look.

"Like I said, you're not Shinigami." Isshin said and sat down. Ichigo only looked at him. Unbelievable. How was the man able to pull out someone else's mask? Even other Vaizard's couldn't do that to him.

"I'm…" Ichigo stuttered.  
"Not Human. Not Shinigami. Not Hollow." Isshin said as he fixed his collar and looked at his son, "Not even Vaizard."

"What…!" Ichigo straightened in surprise. Even Uryuu was sporting plate-wide eyes at everything. If Ichigo was not human, not Shinigami, not Hollow, not Vaizard, what was he? Arrancar? No. Definitely not. Well, then, what was he? Moreover, why was his father telling him this? And why just now?

Great. Now he knew how it felt to be in Ken'ichi's shoes.

"Ichigo…" Rukia said softly as she pulled Ichigo's body on her lap, "Please calm down and try listening to what he has to say."  
"Rukia." Ichigo looked at her and sat beside her before turning her towards his father, "Look at him closely. Do you remember him?"  
"Ichigo, I…"

"Try hard. Look at him." Ichigo held her by the shoulders and Rukia sighed, taking his hands off her and shaking her head. He had cursed lightly, his body slouching forward in disappointment as he bit his lower lip. He looked at his body and then tried looking at his father but could not trail his gaze at his father's face. His vision remained nailed to the white cape that was around his father's shoulders.

White cape. Dang it. His father was a Captain? He was a son of the Captain and he did not know it?

"Who are you, really?" Ichigo managed to say.  
"I am…" Isshin began thoughtfully as he crossed his arms, "Well… My identity is not that important."  
"Just answer the question, old man."  
"It doesn't matter."  
"It does to me."

Isshin paused, allowing himself to eye his son thoroughly. He had never seen Ichigo with those eyes. Perhaps his son had been in this state of being before but Isshin was not there to witness it. Silently, he pondered on how it would have felt watching Ichigo attain Shikai and Bankai, learning his Zanpakutou's name, hearing his battle cry, watching him fight and swing his sword and trail off in slight monologues like everyone did. Twenty-six years of secrecy. Isshin had missed a lot. It was only then that it dawned on him how much Ichigo had grown. Everything passed like a dream. He had indeed missed a lot.

No use fretting now. No use regretting now. Isshin had to say what was needed to be said.

"Approximately two thousand years ago, Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni founded the Shinigami Academy." Isshin said again as his eyes tore off from Ichigo, "At the same time, he the government system of Sereitei was budding. The first of the Gotei 13 Captains and members consisted of his family, relatives and comrades from Rukongai."

"It was also at this time that the King's Key was being created." Isshin spoke as if he were reminiscing alone and he paused and looked at his son, "Do you know how the King's Key was created?"

Ichigo's eyes moved but he did not say anything. Rukia looked at her husband and then at her father-in-law before replying, "A hundred thousand worth of souls."

"Where was that information lifted from?" Isshin asked her.  
"F-from… Ukitake-taichou…" Rukia mumbled, searching the back of her head to check if she had anything wrong, "From… the archives…"

Isshin smiled at Rukia and she blinked. Did she say anything funny or wrong? She recounted. Aizen's reiatsu was traced and they found out what he was looking up. Ukitake investigated himself.

Right?

"Think." Isshin tapped his finger on his head, "Think, Rukia-chan."

Ichigo lifted his head to look at his wife who was still blinking at her father-in-law. It took several moments of summoning up his guts before Ichigo could look at his father and yet, it still didn't seem to have sunken into his brain that his father was indeed Shinigami. Rukia was not responding as she lightly held Ichigo's body in her arms. Uryuu was quietly pondering on whatever it was Isshin was trying to imply as Orihime tightened her lips in an attempt to figure out something, which was hopefully related to the subject matter.

"It's simple." Ryuken said finally, "Wh—"  
"Shut up, you." Isshin motioned to cover Ryuken's mouth, "Don't interrupt my lecture."

Ryuken sighed and looked at his watch, "We're wasting so much time that by the time we're through, Bankai would've taught itself to your grandson."

"I said shut up, Ryuken."

Uryuu stared at his father who was using Isshin's sleeve to clean his watch. Just by looking at the exchange between the two older men and noting that Isshin addressed Ryuken by name, these two must've known each other quite a lot. If that was so, why wasn't Uryuu aware of this? Ichigo did not seem to have a clue until now as well.

"Ano…" Rukia muttered, "I…"  
"Yes, Rukia-chan?"  
"I don't…" she began.

"Look, if the King's Key was _that_ important, why would Yamamoto-_taichou_ leave around information about its creation lying around in the open?" Ryuken said and Isshin's mouth flung open in disbelief as he slowly turned towards the Quincy who just shrugged, "You're taking so long."

"Stop talking, okay?" Isshin glared.  
"Well, then, why would he?" Urahara began fanning himself.  
"Because…" Orihime began hesitantly, "The Key isn't that important?"  
"If it weren't important, why would Aizen come after it?" Chad asked and Orihime shrugged.  
"Maybe there's more to creating it than just a thousand souls." Uryuu spoke.

"Think." Isshin waved his finger at the younger ones, "Why do you create a key?"

Ryuken rolled his eyes away at Isshin's methods. Shinigami could live for how many millennia so this probably explained how he dragged things around like time was not taking its toll on anything.

"To lock and unlock something." Orihime replied.  
"And where do you insert a key?"  
"In a keyhole." Rukia answered.  
"Why is that?"  
"Because the gears in the keyhole respond to only one type of key." Chad said thoughtfully.  
"And that is because?"

Ichigo and Uryuu gasped at the same time.

"The shape." Ichigo said as if it was conclusion enough.

"The instructions…" Uryuu began, "The instructions were incomplete."

"Incomplete?" Chad and Orihime chorused.  
"You mean even if Aizen sacrificed a hundred thousand souls in a spirit-enriched land, he couldn't recreate the King's Key?" Rukia asked.

"You see, it technically _is_ a key." Yoruichi leaned forward, "So if you want to create a duplicate, you either need the original or the pattern. How would a thousand souls know where the King is? Even if Aizen sacrificed a million souls in hundreds of spirit-enriched land, it would not be able to trace the King because the resulting 'key' would fit a different 'keyhole'."

"Simply put…" Urahara said, "The key works as a tracking device as well. You have to introduce it to the reiatsu it will look for before it can actually take you to it."

"I… see…" Rukia nodded.

"The King's Key is not something that _existed_ just like that. It, just like anything else, had to be created." Urahara continued as Yoruichi nodded.

"H-how then…?" Ichigo managed to say.

"The King's Key was created using Hollow energy, Shinigami energy and human souls. A hundred thousand of each." Isshin replied, "And a certain amount of the King's reiatsu."

"A hundred thousand—" Rukia began.  
"—EACH?" Ichigo finished, "How did…?"

"It was created in the land where Karakura stands now." Ryuken said calmly and there were gasps across the room.

"A hundred thousand Shinigami?" Uryuu was slightly shaking his head, "That doesn't make sense. I thought… The Shinigami Academy was just beginning so where did the get…?"  
"No one said anything about a hundred thousand Shinigami bodies." Ryuken cut in and Uryuu paused, letting his father continue,"A hundred thousand _worth_ of Shinigami _energy_."

No one was speaking and Urahara scanned the quiet room with baffled, questioning and alarmed eyes. Interesting, indeed. And Urahara's gaze turned to Isshin.

"Yamamoto sacrificed the nearly the entirety of the first batch of the Gotei 13 and some other Shinigami."

"WHAT!" Everyone burst out. Rukia, Ichigo and Uryuu had slammed their palms on the table in surprise. The first batch of the Gotei 13? How many were those and how strong were they to amount to a hundred thousand worth of Shinigami energy? That was seriously overwhelming! No, maybe even beyond that!

"Back then, even seated officers were able to perform Bankai." Isshin said thoughtfully.

There was another outburst of "WHAT!"

"W-Wait…" Ichigo's surprise over the revelation had wiped over his shock about his father's identity for a while, "I thought the Gotei 13 consisted of family members and comrades?"  
"Precisely." Isshin nodded, "And Yamamoto was _not_ the strongest Captain."

"THAT'S—!" Rukia was the only one who was able to say anything, as the others had a hard time trying to move their jaws. Yamamoto was not the strongest Captain? So they sacrificed the strong Captains for the Key? Just how important was this Key?

"But you see, back then, there was no Technological Department…" Yoruichi yawned, "None until Urahara Kisuke appeared."

All eyes turned to Urahara.

"The Technological Department was created for the purpose of strengthening the Key." Urahara spoke without looking at any of them as he shifted into a more comfortable sitting position, "Due to the lack of information, research and necessary procedures, the first key was working but not necessarily perfect and it began to deteriorate."

"I had to find a way strengthen the key. Yamamoto secretly instructed me to do something to make the key _defy_ time and deterioration. Through study, I realized that the key had to undergo several stages like a caterpillar would eventually become a butterfly and I ended up creating two things."

Everyone held their breath and it seemed to be forever as Urahara slowly lifted his head and eyed each one of them. Ichigo could feel sweat trickle down his back. The intensity… Too much.

"The Hougyoku." Urahara began.

Someone gulped.

"And the Shun Shun Rikka."

"WHAT!" Everyone except Orihime yelled and the girl sank back towards her husband who was almost at his feet. The Shun Shun Rikka was created by Urahara Kisuke? But didn't her brother… give her… the Rikka? It didn't make sense.

"The Hougyoku was created as a substitute for the over a hundred thousand souls that I needed to strengthen the key." Urahara continued as Isshin sneezed and Ryuken sent him a disgusting look. Yoruichi shook her head but didn't say anything.

"The Shun Shun Rikka Ishida Orihime possesses is a prototype." Yoruichi said as she pointed, "And I was the first one to have ever tried using its powers."

One could have expected an outburst but the revelations were all too shocking for anyone to say anything more.

"But it required constant attention for it to work so it was discarded."  
"You mean you lost it." Urahara sighed.  
"Something like that…" Yoruichi shrugged, "I used it in battle and killed off all the fairies."

Urahara sighed heavily and shook his head. Ryuken was raising an eyebrow at Yoruichi. Isshin sneezed again.

"Well, moving on…" Urahara breathed out.  
"Wait." Orihime cut in and leaned forward, feeling the hairpin with her fingers, "If you killed off every one of the fairies, why do I have it now?"

"I told you already." Urahara replied as he fixed his hat, "I was asked to create something that defied time. Yours was a prototype but even as _the Goddess of Flash_ managed to kill of all six of them, they regenerated over time while theoretically feeding on someone's reiatsu and life expectancy."

"Life expectancy?" Orihime gasped.  
"Yes. Simply put, they ate up someone else's life and absorbed that person's intentions."

What?

"O-O-O… nii…" Orihime's hand flew to her mouth as she choked into tears.

"Orihime…" Uryuu whispered as she collapsed slightly. He caught her and held her as she shook, tears streaming from her open eyes staring past everything and anything.

The Shun Shun Rikka ate up someone's life and intentions? She did remember the fairies saying they were born… to protect her. There was only one person who wanted to protect her. Her brother. And he died the same day after he had given her the Rikka. Her brother, her dear older brother — Inoue Sora — his life and intentions were eaten up by the Rikka?

It was the Rikka that killed her brother?

"ONIICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Orihime screamed as loud as she could, gripping her hair as she curled into a ball, "ONIICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"Orihime…" Uryuu began.

"I-I-I… This is all so—" she shook her head vigorously, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Uryuu held her towards him as tears streamed continuously from her eyes. She was gritting her teeth and holding on to her hair till her knuckles were white. Orihime was shaking terribly as she kept on apologizing, asking, saying things no one could understand properly. All her words were drowned in sobs and Uryuu wrapped his arms around her tightly. Rukia bit her lower lip an held onto Ichigo's hand as she felt herself close to tears upon seeing Orihime in such a shambled state. There was probably more to know about the Rikka, about her brother, about her whole identity but right now was probably not the right time for it.

"Oniichan…" Orihime wiped her tears messily, "Oniichan… Oniichan…"

"It's…" Uryuu stopped himself from saying "it's okay". It wasn't okay. He repressed a sigh as he helped his wife sit up and removed the wet strands of stray hair on her face. She was still shaking as her weak fingers held onto him and Uryuu looked at her tear-filled eyes that were looking straight back into his. Unfortunately, Uryuu held no answers to the throng of questions her orbs were throwing at him. Orihime was tired and she needed to rest. Her hearing any more would only exhaust her and depress her further.

"Perhaps you should…"

"No." Orihime shook her head, trying to sound firm and convincing in spite of her shaking and cracking voice, "Urahara-san… still has something to say… about the Hougyoku."

And she slowly turned to Urahara, "Right?"

Urahrara nodded.

"Then let us continue."

- End of Chapter 23 -

* * *

Author: Okay! Chapter 23! As you read this, I am sure Chapter 24 is already up since I arranged for them to be added at the same time to make sure I wouldn't mess up. This is a very critical moment for me since I'm trying to incorporate things from an already existing story with a different author. My god, Kubo Tite sure knows how to give me a hard time! Right now, I am APPEALING to you to review per chapter. I need it. I swear. So before you read the next chap, breathe deeply and mutter with me… BANKAI…! 


	24. Who Am I And Who Are You?

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Four : Who Am I And Who Are You?**

* * *

"But Orihime…" Uryuu appealed but his wife gently shook her head and held his arms. He opened his mouth to say something but she shushed him with her finger and smiled lightly, looking up at him and saying, "I'm okay, Uryuu. Just… stay by my side."

Uryuu blinked at her as he probed her face. He should trust her. He nodded. She nodded.

All eyes turned to Urahara.

"What happened next?" Chad asked.

"Well, after that, the idea about using something like the Shun Shun Rikka was dropped because it required too much attention for it to work continuously." Urahara continued and Ryuken cleared his throat as softly as possible. Orihime nodded as an encouragement for Sandal Hat to continue.

"It turned out that the Key was not deteriorating because of time." Urahara said again, "The Key was deteriorating because it was incomplete and the energy that was used to create it was slowly being_eaten_."

"The Key fed on it as it continued to grow. What they had created was an incomplete key. Something that had to be tended to over the years. If it lost the reiatsu it was feeding on, it would disappear. This meant that it had to feed on more thousands of souls as time went by until it reaches completion."

"But that would be a horrible waste of good souls." Urahara continued, "It was impractical to feed it countless useful souls and Shinigami. And it was very troublesome to gather Hollows. It would attract attention and would eventually expose the existence and state of the Key at that time."

"So I developed the Hougyoku."

"The Hougyoku's purpose is to cross out the boundary between a Shinigami and a Hollow. Constant reiatsu would be fed to the Hougyoku and it would manipulate Shinigami reiatsu so that it was able to provide Hollow reiatsu as well. This cancelled out the need to search for a great number of entities to feed the Key."

"But for me to do this, I had to fuse it with a soul. I needed a host to hold the Key and the Hougyoku until the key was totally complete. In total, I needed three things to manipulate — Shinigami energy, Hollow energy and a strong Human soul."

Isshin had looked away.

"But I thought I could do it using only one soul. I took a Shinigami and fused her with the Key and the Hougyoku forever."

"Her?" Rukia asked, "The Shinigami was a woman?"  
"Yes." Yoruichi nodded.

"My Vice-Captain." Isshin turned to Ichigo, "Your mother, Masaki."

Ichigo's shoulders fell as he slowly drew in air. Rukia turned to him and witnessed him change color. His mouth was partly open and his lower lip was shaking, trying to say something but couldn't. He was going to yell, actually but the intensity jarred him so strongly that he froze. There were a lot of words in his head and none of them were answers — all doubts, reactions, surprise and questions. He wanted to say many things but only one question came out.

"Okasan…" Ichigo swallowed, "…was Shinigami?"

"Yes." Isshin looked away again, "How else could she see clearly see the Hollow that was supposed to kill you if she had not been special?"

"It was supposed to be me." Isshin said with a heavy sigh as his eyebrows furrowed, "But I didn't want to lose my Shinigami powers back then. I was young and stupid. My fukutaichou took the responsibility for me."

"Apparently, we were still lacking one more ingredient — the Human soul." Urahara crossed his fingers as he leaned forward on the table, "The original plan was that the Shinigami that housed the Hougyoku and the Key would feed it Shinigami energy. After which, the special gigai I had created would then revert the Shinigami into a Human soul to feed the Hougyoku and the Key. When all was said and done, the Key would eventually consume the Hougyoku."

"But that meant…" Orihime began.

"The host would eventually die from being absorbed." Yoruichi said as she looked at Orihime and Ishida. Isshin grunted and Ichigo gasped, his hand immediately darting out for the end of Rukia's sleeve. He gripped it solidly and Rukia noticed. She looked at him and rubbed her fingers against his hand to comfort him somehow.

"But even Urahara was not perfect." Yoruichi continued, "He had miscalculated something."

"The Hougyoku and the Key ate up more reiatsu than required, nearly taking in Masaki in whole." Urahara nodded seriously and bit his lip, paused before continuing, "It turned out I needed more than one soul. I couldn't cancel out the whole operation so her Captain offered to help."

"The moment Urahara infused her body with the Hougyoku, Masaki lost her Shinigami powers since it was constantly being eaten by the Hougyoku and the Key but it needed more reiatsu than we thought." Isshin said all of a sudden with furrowed eyebrows from what was both regret and guilt, "She had to feed on my reiatsu in the end. It's sick of me, isn't it, son? If I had been the one who had taken in the Hougyoku, my reiatsu would've sufficed somehow but, no. I just _had_ to retain my Shinigami form for my sake. I should've…"

"Shini… gami…" Ichigo was speaking in a dazed state. Rukia could see something brimming from his eyes and she wiped it off with her thumbs.

"Both Captain and Lieutenant were immediately proclaimed dead from a Menos Grande mob." Urahara cut in before any emotions could interrupt, "It was assumed that both of them would be eaten by the Key. Apparently, we were still missing one ingredient — the Human soul. However, I could do nothing because adding it might create a reaction and the host as well as the Hougyoku would die, dragging the key down with them to the grave."

"Everything had to be done in secret. I had to wait several hundred years before everything could stabilize." Urahara sighed, getting a bit tired of talking but continued anyway, "But Masaki was deteriorating. If she did not have a body, she would die and result to the loss of the Key."

"If it were that risky, you shouldn't have gone it." Uryuu frowned at Urahara.  
"Urahara was Head of the Technological Department, not a god." Ryuken told his son, "Even he makes mistakes."

Uryuu grunted.

"So what did you do?" Chad asked, wiping the sweat on his face.  
"Early as it was, I had no choice. I put Masaki in the untraceable gigai and fled to the Human World with Yoruichi."  
"But I thought you were exiled for creating the Hougyoku and the untraceable gigai that ate Shinigami powers?" Rukia was slightly frowning in confusion.  
"To hide the whole issue of the Key, of course." Yoruichi leaned back.  
"What?" Rukia's confused look did not wear off.  
"We had to alter memories. Made them forget several things."

"You mean… The Memory Chikan…" Rukia nodded.

"Exactly. A stronger version of that thing." Yoruichi nodded, "Isn't that why there are certain things that do not make much sense regarding a hundred years before the Hougyoku was revealed?"

"Things?" Orihime tilted her head.

"First off, it is said Urahara Kisuke was _exiled_ and that I helped him escape before they were officially able to take him away." Yoruichi shifted from her laid back position, "Second, if it indeed was an escape, how easy would it be for the Gotei 13 to chase us — just one Captain and the Head of the Special Forces? Why would they let us slide for over a hundred years with something dubbed so dangerous in the living world?"

"That's…" Uryuu was unable to finish.

It made sense.

"We didn't escape." Yoruichi said again, "We were ordered to leave in such a fashion that made it look like we escaped. Of course, the whole ploy had to be realistic and they had people chase after us but that was only for show."

"Masaki and I headed out to the Human world ahead of Urahara and Yoruichi." Isshin added thoughtfully, "But something happened as we tried to cross the Dagai and Masaki and I got separated."

"Masaki…" Isshin looked up to somehow stop the tears from falling as he crossed his arms, "She was… She was dying. At first, she was screaming 'Taichou, Taichou' as she cried with dry eyes. The screams never died out until she was calling my name…"

Isshin sighed, not moving from his position, "Kurogane, Kurogane."

"K-Kurogane…?" Ichigo's eyes changed with a slight flash. Even Chad gasped. Isshin was not his real name?

Isshin sighed again.

"My real name..." He began. Ichigo wanted to swallow but couldn't, "Is Yamamoto Kurogane."

"Y-Y-Y-Y…" Rukia stuttered, backing from Isshin slowly until her back hit Ichigo's chest.

"I am Yamamoto Shigekuni-Genryuusai's 31st and youngest brother."

"But that would mean…" Rukia began again and Isshin shifted his eyes towards Ichigo and said, "That's right. The Commander General is your Ojisama."

"HELL NOOOOOOOOOO!" Ichigo got up so violently that Rukia nearly fell back. Isshin only watched the outburst. Ichigo was trying to glare but he fumbled as his knees slightly gave out under his hakama.

"That's a lie!" Ichigo pointed accusingly at no one in particular, "If you're that old man's brother then he would've known you! He would've found you! Or known me! Or… Or…!"

"I was in an untraceable gigai, Ichigo." Isshin said calmly — calmer than Ichigo thought his father could ever speak, "And they all expected me to die from the whole operation. Your mother, after absorbing much of my powers, had erased my traces and changed my reiatsu to something else as if editing me without knowing it."

"LIES!" Ichigo shook his head.  
"Ichigo, Kurosaki is a surname your mother and I came up with using our real names."

Ichigo gasped.

No way.

"Kuro… gane. Ma… saki. Kuro-saki."

Ichigo couldn't speak.

Kurogane. Masaki. Kurosaki.

"NO! LIES! LIES!"

"Ichigo!" Rukia got up to pacify her husband who was vigorously shaking his head. Everyone else had fallen into dumb-struck silence as Rukia whispered to Ichigo who was still shouting words about deception and lying and plotting. He refused to believe anything. Or perhaps he did believe everything but it was all too much. Whatever it was, if he wasn't able to recollect himself, he was going to be launched into something worse than a nervous breakdown.

"YOU'RE LYING, OLD MAN!" Ichigo grabbed his father by the collar but did not lift him, "My mother… Okasan was _human_! And you… You… GET OUT OF THAT FREAKING HAORI AND HAKAMA THIS INSTANT!"

"Face it, Ichigo. This is _my_ Shinigami form."

"SHUT UP! You're _not_ Shinigami!" Ichigo lifted his arm to hit his father but Rukia's arms around his made him stop and he released Isshin and turned to his wife, "What are you doing, Rukia! This is what he gets from watching that stupid Don Kan'onji on TV!"

"Enough, Ichigo!" she screamed at him, "Hear them out first!"  
"Hear them out?" He widened his eyes disbelievingly at her, "HEAR THEM OUT!? And what, wait for my bleach to go to my freaking brain!? This is stupid! All of it! This is… This is…"  
"It reveals a lot for something so stupid." Rukia told him solidly, "You _know_ so."  
"But…"  
"Ichigo."

Rukia stared at him with her eyes full of gravity. Those eyes, that stare always got him back to his feet, helped him to find resolve and knocked sense into his head. He did not know how she did it but it worked and Ichigo swallowed hard.

"I…" he was unable to say anything more and fell back to sitting, grabbing his head between his hands and squeezing it. First, his father was Shinigami. Then, his mother. And now, he was damn related to old man Yamamoto! What was next? He was seriously going to lose it any moment now and Ichigo leaned on the table. He could feel Rukia's hand rubbing his back and Chad was saying something he could not understand. Every inch of Ichigo's being was trembling so hard even Zangetsu and the Hollow could probably feel it.

But this was only a part of a lot more. Somehow he knew he had to stabilize his mind. Ichigo took a deep breath and straightened and it was only then that he realized that there had been tears in his eyes. With a strong arm, he wiped them off and looked at Rukia who was looking at him. He sighed as he held her face before kissing her forehead and uttering a low apology. She nodded and both of them looked at Urahara.

"Where were we?"

"So…" Urahara stretched and leaned back with his palms on the floor as he spread out his legs, "… Isshin lost Masaki. They were both in untraceable faux bodies with altered reiatsu so you can not imagine the horror we felt when we realized when we lost her."

"The Commander-General was _furious_. If I had not been the one who started this whole operation, he would've killed me." Urahara shook his head, "I would've returned to Soul Society out of urgency but before I was 'thrown' into the living world, Yamamoto-taichou made sure I'd return _only_ if I had the Key. I could not return to Soul Society unless I had the Key with me. Apparently, it was something that was not temporary and up to now, I still can't return."

Urahara sighed again.

"It took us around seventy to eighty years before we were able to find Masaki."  
"THAT LONG!?" Uryuu and Ichigo burst out.

"Hey, we looked for her but it was not easy since there was a really large world and who the hell knew if she had fallen to some part of Africa." Yoruichi sighed as Urahara nodded, "But her then Captain found her anyway."

"Where?" Ichigo asked his father.  
"Actually, it wasn't technically me who found her." Isshin shrugged, "Someone else did and picked her up."  
"Who?" Uryuu asked.  
"My father." Ryuken replied.

"You—EXCUSE ME?" Uryuu's eyes widened, "Your what? My what? Who?"

"Masaki had fallen in the mountains and she slept for nearly a century." Ryuken explained, "Hollows and normal souls were able to find her but she consumed them all the same as she lay unconscious in an abyss where your grandfather found her. Fortunately for my father, his Quincy reiatsu was able to defend himself from her somehow."

"Why—"  
"Stop talking and let me finish."

Uryuu nodded dumbly.

"I don't know what father was doing in the mountains but he found her anyway and took her home. I was very young then and Masaki looked a lot older than me."

"Oh, don't tell me you fell in love with her?" Uryuu slapped his forehead and earned himself three glares from Isshin, Ryuken and Ichigo.

That was a "Definitely not. Shut up, Uryuu."

"Masaki was like a sister to me and she watched after me. She knew she was not human and told me she had lost someone dear to her and that she had to find him as soon as possible." Ryuken reminisced and Isshin sighed as the older Quincy continued, "I knew she was Shinigami and back then, the Shinigami was not actually in good terms with the Quincy. Masaki told me about Shinigami ways and I felt like I wanted to be a Shinigami than Quincy."

"That's sick."  
"Talk some more and I'll pull you over my knee and spank you to the next generation."

Uryuu's eyes widened. Was this really his father talking?

"I promised Masaki we'd find this man." Ryuken resumed narrating, "And then one day, when I brought her to the hospital, she saw a man. And she began to cry. I asked her why. She did not answer. She just ran to him and I nearly got ran over by a truck for chasing after her, good god, that woman."

"Let me guess, it was Kurosaki-san…?" Orihime sighed dreamily.  
"Yeah…" Isshin blushed and scratched his head.  
"That's really sweet!" Orihime smiled.  
"They finally reunite." Chad nodded.  
"This is better than soap operas on TV." Rukia was sharing a dreamy smile with Orihime.

"Wait, what happened to the Key?" Uryuu asked Urahara.

"Well, the Key attracted souls and Hollows to her and she consumed them so she was able to survive." Urahara shrugged, "But the Key was still incomplete since it still lacked the Human part. Seeing it was such a burden for Masaki to carry the Key in her body, Ishida Ryuken gave her doses of his own reiatsu and I must admit, a Quincy's reiatsu sufficed a lot for the human part."

Ryuken nodded as Uryuu blinked at his father in disbelief. His father helped the Shinigami? Why couldn't he imagine it?

"It had been delayed for nearly a century but we had to continue what we started." Urahara said again and wet his lips, "But something that wasn't planned happened."

"What?" Orihime asked.

"Kurosaki Ichigo was born."

- End of Chapter 24 -

* * *

Author: Okaaaaay! I got past half of the critical part! On to the rest of the twist! I hope I didn't disappoint you guys. Please bear with me. It's hard trying to explain a twist from another twist from another author. Yeah, I respect Kubo Tite a lot more now since he really made me think. You have no idea how many nights I spent thinking this out properly as I lay in bed. My timeline barely helped and what I got is a zit on my chin. A stupid zit from lack of sleep and more things! I hate zits on my face.

Now my shoulder hurts like hell again but I feel quite better inside since I was FINALLY able to post so-called critical moment for this fic! PHEW! Thanks for all the support, the mail, the PM's and the IM's. "Oh My Kichigai!" will not be taken down and the "Oh My…!" Trilogy will exist! Yay!

Oh, and Chris, if you're reading this, I didn't get it. Yeah, I'm announcing your name on my author's notes so you'd better give me that pic as soon as possible.

–Threatens you with poking stick-

Fear it!

Anyway, it's begun! My body hurts and my mind's kind of still embedded in the fic. Looks like I have to crowbar it off. Come on, people, make me feel better. Do the Bleach Soul Shout dance and yell: BANKAI TO US ALL!

Read and Review!


	25. Kurosaki Ichigo

**Oh My Kichigai!  
**By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Kurosaki Ichigo**

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo.

Who was that?

Oh, right that was him.

Ichigo held back from fidgeting as he sat. Being called something that "was not included in the plans" was rather disturbing though he did not take any offense from it. He slightly closed his eyes and breathed in, making sure there was enough oxygen to his brain so as he would not throw his self out the window after another shocking revelation. He was still shaking from everything and he noticed that his sweat somewhat felt cold and dry. He should apologize to Zangetsu later and see if his inner world did not look like a bombed Nagasaki or Hiroshima. Ichigo opened his eyes slowly and found everyone looking at him as if to ask, "Are you ready?"

Wow. He did not know they cared about his next outburst.

"Okay." Ichigo nodded, "So this is the part where you tell me how I became a Vaizard, right?"  
"Wrong." Isshin waved a finger at Ichigo, "This is the part we tell you that you're _not_ a Vaizard."

"The Vaizards were an aftereffect from the Key's creation." Yoruichi said a bit lazily, "Fragments of fused reiatsu scattered, creating the Vaizards. So put it simply, being a Vaizard is just a fragment of you, Ichigo."

"What am I, then? Why do I have a mask like them?"

"What about the things you don't share with them?" Urahara asked as he wafted his fan slightly, "Like for example, they are able to wear their masks and call out Zanpakutou from their normal form at will while you have to proceed to Shinigami form to call out your mask?"

"Because…" Ichigo paused, "I… haven't developed yet?"  
"Correct." Urahara nodded, "But that does not mean you are the same as them. Did they mention the need for any development regarding the state in which you pull out your mask?"  
"No… But, well, Hiyori trains me so…"  
"Do any of them have a Shinigami form like you do?"  
"N-no…"

"Wait." Uryuu cut in, "The Vaizards were created with the Key. That was more than two thousand years ago. Are you saying it can be inherited? Wouldn't that cancel out the fact that no one is born Shinigami, which is one side of being a Vaizard?"

"You can not inherit your Shinigami form You can not inherit Zanpakutou." Urahara leaned forward after closing his fan, "But, again, Quincy, what makes Shinigami special?"

"Zanpakutou… Born with Zanpakutou…" Uryuu was speaking aloud to himself, "Then you mean the ability to call out Zanpakutou… can be passed on?"

Urahara did not respond but only smiled and straightened. Uryuu blinked with perplexed eyes behind his glasses but did not say anything more. Ryuken was looking at his son who was now looking so interested in the complicated turn-out of events.

"So Ichigo was also a white butterfly like his son?" Chad asked and Ichigo gasped.  
"You weren't just a white butterfly Ichigo." Isshin replied and seeing him in Shinigami robes reminded Ichigo of Yamamoto-_ojisama_, making Ichigo feel like he needed more air.  
"Not just a white butterfly?" Ichigo asked.  
"You were a butterfly with four wings."

Ichigo's eyes widened, "I was a what?"

"A butterfly with four wings." Ryuken repeated, somehow irritated.

"A pair of black wings and a pair of white wings. One pair seemed to work independently from the other." Isshin recounted, ignoring or not noticing the tone Ryuken was striking, "Those wings… I've never seen anything like it, Ichigo. They moved independently and phased through one another like pure light trying to materialize."

"So…" Ichigo said, looking at Rukia as both of them reminisced on their Shiro Chou-rearing days, "I fed on reiatsu, huh?"  
"You fed on Masaki's reiatsu." Isshin said, "You never fed on mine, you ingrate of a son."  
"What?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.  
"This is probably why you were so attached to your mother!"

"Which is why it became a problem." Urahara cut in, "We weren't expecting the host to bear a child while housing the Key and the Hougyoku. It created a complication since both those things fed on reiatsu so we expected Ichigo to be absorbed by it as well."

"But the opposite happened. Instead of feeding _on_ you, it fed you."  
"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked.

"I mean…" Urahara cleared his throat, "You fed on the reiatsu of your mother, the reiatsu manipulated by the Hougyoku and the reiatsu given off by the King's Key. You fed on a myriad of things, a myriad of people and a myriad of entities. That alone is a complication."

"Com… plication?" Uryuu blinked at Ichigo.

"Remember how much reiatsu was in Masaki's body." Yoruichi replied as she waved a finger seriously at them, "Her reiatsu, Isshin's reiatsu, Ryuken's reiatsu, all the reiatsu eaten and manipulated by the Hougyoku and all the reiatsu from the King's Key. Think. What made up the King's Key to begin with?"

"A hundred—" Orihime began.

"The first batch of the Gotei 13." Uryuu cut whatever Orihime was going to say. He did not intend to offend her or anything but he was too overwhelmed by what he found out that he had to share it. And he was unable to stop himself from gasping when he saw Yoruichi nodding in approval.

"Not only that." Rukia was telling everyone as she looked with her wide, surprised eyes at Ichigo, "… but the King's reiatsu as well."

That did it.

Ichigo had fallen back from his sitting position and if he had not supported himself with his arm on the floor, he would've been lying on his back. His eyes were wide and his vision danced upon the people in the room. All of them were looking at him as if he were something else. He was not used to being looked at like this and he shook his head slowly until he was gradually gaining vigor and his head was shaking strongly though his face sported more of disbelief than denial.

"It's true." Ryuken began to speak much to Ichigo's dismay, "Ichigo exists as everything at the same time and not just partial mixes to form one entity. He is anything and everything from that Key."

"What are you talking about? Then it is possible for him to use a Quincy bow?" Uryuu was raising an eyebrow at his father.  
"That is possible." Ryuken nodded, "I gave him reiatsu after all."  
"Hahaha!" Isshin tapped his leg, "A Zanpakutou-wielding Quincy!"  
"OH, HELL NO!" Ichigo and Uryuu yelled in protest.

No one wanted to imagine it — Ichigo with a blue bow as he wore Ishida's white Quincy garb. Ishida wanted to hang himself. Kurosaki Ichigo was part _Quincy_? The world was rigged and screwed! Ichigo, on the other hand, felt like he was forced to join the handicrafts club. Ichigo and Uryuu stared at each other, exchanging glances of disbelief as their thoughts ran around their heads like ghosts devoid of meaning.

"Wait a minute!" Uryuu turned to his father as he pointed, "The friend's kid I was supposed to marry back then… You… You don't mean…"  
"Pops!" Ichigo looked at his father and pointed at Uryuu, "H-he… He… Don't tell me…"  
"Well, I did tell you we both had sons." Ryuken shrugged and Isshin nodded.

Both sons' mouths flung open and eyes widened as they started to look at each other and both cringed visibly. Orihime bit her lip and Rukia was raising an eyebrow at her father-in-law who shrugged with a smile. Chad was chuckling to himself but no one seemed to have noticed.

"Good god, you nearly married me off with a Shinigami!?" Uryuu was close to pulling his hair.  
"He's not Shinigami." Ryuken replied, "And he's part Quincy."  
"I wouldn't want to be married to a female version of him!" Uryuu pointed at Ichigo.  
"Well, I wouldn't want to be married to a female version of you either!" Ichigo pointed back at Uryuu.  
"But the off-springs would really be so interesting, it'd drive Mayuri nuts." Urahara chuckled under his fan and Chad snorted to stifle a laugh.  
"You can't breed us like specimen, you bastards!" Ichigo stomped a foot on the table, "I can't _believe this_!"  
"This is insane! I was almost married to the worst part Quincy ever!" Uryuu had turned around and shook his head.  
"Hey, what do you mean worst!" Ichigo complained, "You haven't even seen me try to use your stupid little bow yet!"

"Which is exactly why you're the worst! You're the only Quincy who can't use a bow!" Uryuu burst out, somewhat flailing his arms as he turned towards Ichigo, "And darn it, I sincerely hope you did not mean that comment about the stupid little bow!"

"Well, I do!"  
"I don't have a stupid bow! And it's not small either!"

Orihime gasped. Rukia slapped her forehead. The statement had no implication whatsoever but Orihime probably saw it in another way.

"It _is_ stupid that's why I don't use it!"  
"Hah! You couldn't even if your life depended on it, Quincy wanna-be!"

"Ichigo probably can't manipulate his Quincy powers because it requires quite a level of controlling reiatsu, which he totally lacks." Yoruichi stretched her legs and yawned as if complaining from the off-topic ruckus Ichigo and Uryuu were babbling about, "After all, controlling a variation of reiatsu is not humdrum."

"So… the number of the kinds of reiatsu in his body…" Rukia muttered, "… Is the reason why he can not control reiatsu properly? It's because they ironically coexist independently in his body?"

"Exactly."

All the information was forcing itself Ichigo's head that felt like bursting. All of those were him…? Then he was human, Shinigami, Hollow, heck, even Quincy.

He was existing as everything at the same time…?

How?

What the hell was he, then?

"Ichigo." Rukia began when Ichigo had stopped moving his head and closed his eyes. He had inched away slightly as he tried to sit up, a hand flying to his head and tapping it to make sure that he was still sane. He was breathing heavily again and he didn't like it. Rukia was crawling towards him. For some reason, he scooted away as he saw her hand draw closer. She looked at him to say something but Orihime's question cut whatever it was that was going on in their heads.

"Wait, Urahara-san, what happened to the key?"

"Well…" Urahara inched back to find some comfortable position, "Just like how it was with Ichigo's son, there was a rain of Adjuchas from the sky and we were worried about the news reaching Soul Society. At such an incomplete stage, Ichigo was able to defend himself and his mother."

"Negation?" Rukia asked as she helped Ichigo sit up.  
"No." Yoruichi muttered, "Remember, the Shiro Chou has the same reiatsu and abilities as the one it feeds on…"  
"I don't understaaaand…" Orihime was scratching her head.

"Ichigo transported him and his mother into another dimension." Urahara said. There was a gasp across the room and then heavy silence. Amidst the hush in the room, it seemed as though thoughts were shouting. Eyes poured out every question, every emotion and every word.

"He…" Rukia was the first to speak, "…Took her to the King?"

"That we do not know." Isshin sighed and then glared at Ryuken who was about to take out a cigarette before continuing, "Even Masaki did not know since she was unconscious the whole time."

"Wait, does this mean Ichigo is a Key?" Chad asked again.

"Not necessarily." Urahara replied, "Ichigo was only able to use this ability because he was feeding on the Key. Now, he would have to learn it before he could do it."

"But it is possible?"  
"We don't know." Urahara shrugged.  
"So where is the Key?" Uryuu crossed his arms, "We're straying away into more complicated things."

"As of now, only the Commander General knows where the Key is." Yoruichi replied as she looked at Ichigo, "When Ichigo returned with Masaki, he was no longer a butterfly. He was a human baby in her womb."

"It's a theory that as Ichigo fed on the Key, it, in turn, fed on his growth rate." Urahara added thoughtfully, "Which means the remaining time for the Key to reach completion was equal to the time Ichigo needed to develop."

"And since he was now developing as a human child…" Ryuken muttered as he looked at the cigarette in his finger, "… It only took the Key nine months to complete itself. As soon as Ichigo was born, the Key materialized and disappeared."

"Where did it go?" Orihime asked.  
"Only the Commander General knows." Isshin answered, "But still, that posed a problem."

Everyone groaned.

"What is it now?" Ichigo sighed heavily in complaint.

"The Key was completed earlier than expected so what it was supposed to absorb was not absorbed." Urahara continued as he sighed as well, "And so we were left with a very dangerous Hougyoku."

"At first, it was supposed to remain in Masaki's gigai so that she could eventually be a normal human but we had to postpone it for several years since her soul still had to recover from everything but just as when we had infused her with the Hougyoku once again..."

Urahara paused. Isshin sighed.

"She died."

Ichigo bit his lip to stop himself from gasping. Rukia could feel the definite tightening of his fingers around her arm. She looked at him and his wavering eyes and she reached for his hand to offer comfort, which was more than just welcome. It was strange how he could determine her touch from someone else's. As soon as he felt her skin against his, he held her hand and squeezed it. He knew it would hurt her a bit but he also knew that Rukia would not like it if he did not show her any reaction at all.

Ichigo could hide things from everyone but not her. Ever since that night when he decided to reveal and give his whole self to her, he was not able to hide anything more.

"Before Masaki died, she was able to separate herself from the Hougyoku and Ichigo, for some reason, absorbed it in his soul."

Ichigo thought back. The sea, the child… And then his dead mother.

Everything in between was nothing else but pitch black.

"I don't remember…" Ichigo shook his head.

"Your mother had probably instructed you to run and keep the Hougyoku.." Isshin muttered to Ichigo, "In your dazed state, instinct must have kicked in and the ability you have earned from the Key and the Hougyoku allowed you to absorb it but not condense it. Upon checking, I found out that your mother used the Memory Chikan on you like she always did whenever necessary…"

"Wait, shouldn't he have a memory replacement, then?" Rukia asked, "It's supposed to take out a random memory from the person and replace it with what their mind is able to handle, right?"  
"Right but Ichigo did not want to remember at all." Isshin told her, "And it cancelled out the replacement and left the boy with a broken memory."  
"So that explains why I don't remember…" Ichigo muttered to himself before sighing.

"Going back on topic, it was supposed to have solved the problem." Urahara continued, suppressing a yawn between words, "But then again, something unexpected happened."

Urahara turned his gaze at both Rukia and Ichigo.

"Kurosaki Ichigo met Kuchiki Rukia."

No one was speaking and Rukia swallowed. Somehow, it felt different being referred to as "Kuchiki Rukia" once again.

"And that night when he became a Shinigami by absorbing her powers, he unknowingly transferred the Hougyoku into her soul."

"WHAT!" Ichigo got up violently, "Didn't you like embed it in her when you gave her the gigai!"

"Actually, no." Urahara shook his head and began to fan himself, "You were keeping the Hougyoku. You embedded it in her soul in exchange for her Shinigami powers… Probably an act of instinct in taking something and giving something else in return."

"That doesn't make sense!" Rukia shook her head, "Ichigo does not have the ability to pass on anything."  
"Does he?" Urahara chuckled, "How are we so sure? Remember how shocked you were when he drained out all your Shinigami powers when you only planned to share it with him?"

"But you said it yourself! The Hougyoku was in the gigai you created!" Ichigo pointed at Urahara, "You even apologized, you ass!"  
"SHUT UP AND THINK, BOY!" Isshin aimed a kick at Ichigo who dodged.  
"No, you shut it, old man!"

"Look here, if Urahara had created the Hougyoku fifty years prior to your meeting with Rukia, don't you think he would've come up with a way to hide the Hougyoku rather than wait for a random Shinigami to lose her powers?"

Ichigo paused.

"It's because someone else was keeping the Hougyoku! That person was Masaki and then you!" Isshin pointed with much drama at him, "But then you passed it on to Rukia, creating another complication!"

Ichigo was now feeling sick. First, he was the cause of his mother's death. Now, he was the cause of his wife's near-death experience a decade ago! Was he bound to be blamed for everything or was the world revolving around him and he did not know it?

But somehow it made sense. After all, it wouldn't be just coincidence that Urahara was passing by the street where Rukia was. And come to think of it, Aizen did take the Hougyoku out of Rukia's soul and not her gigai.

"So…" Yoruichi said as Ichigo and Isshin went back to sitting, "Urahara found Rukia and offered her a gigai to fuse her soul with the Hougyoku. Everything that comes after that is history."

Everyone released a sigh of relief. It was only then that they realized how much they've been holding their breaths. The ride was over. The book was closed. The story had reached its end.

"But ten years after, we have another complication." Urahara smiled and everyone else groaned.  
"What is it now?" Ichigo complained.  
"It's not a what. It's a who." Urahara was still smiling, "The complication has a name…"

Ichigo gulped, knowing very well who Urahara was talking about.

"My son?"

Urahara nodded.

Hell, no. First, his mother. The, his wife. And now his son? Ichigo just _knew_ it was his fault again. He was now beginning to feel cold and numb and his senses were starting _not_ to work.

"Ichigo."

Rukia's voice.

Who was Ichigo again?

Right. Him.

"Ichigo."

_Ichigo._

He looked up. Rukia was looking at him. Ichigo did not move. There was another voice that was talking in his head. Something was gripping his consciousness, trying to drag it some place else. It was hard fighting it since Ichigo's state of mind was not necessarily firm at the moment.

"Ich—"

The rest of his name did not reach him as he fell unconscious on the floor.

_Ichigo._

He woke up.

Oh.

"Old man Zangetsu…" Ichigo said as the embodiment of his sword towered before him.

"I have something to tell you."

Ichigo released a sigh.

"Yeah? I kind of figured."

- End of Chapter 25 -

* * *

Author: I am begging for a per-chapter review… -puppy dog eyes-

Aaaah! Sorry for the delay! This would've been up earlier but I am sick. Hospitals suck. I'm sorry. I am recuperating as I type this down and the computer I am using does not have any internet connection whatsoever and I have to ask someone else to update the fic for me so if there is something wrong with the formatting, please bear with me. The guy I'm asking to upload this is not really that techie. I have to write down the instructions. –cringes- He's my only choice. Sorry.

But, yeah, I have a personal secretary at least for now. Haha. Yay? The IM's, the PM's, the e-mails and the reviews still make their way to me. Yeah, I read them. I'm typing the replies as I go through with this.

Tagalog paragraph!

_Aaaah! Ang daming message tungkol kay Mina at kay Lando! Hindi yun tunay! Joke lang daw yun na hindi ko nagets! Tungkol siya sa dalawang bagyo! Wala po akong kinalaman sa "Pasig" by Taga-Ilog. Huhuhu…_

Well, I have pictures of Yui, Ken'ichi and Ryu in my Deviant art account. The link is in my profile. Hope you likesh. It's done using MS Paint and a mouse so spare me. Hope you swing by and check it out.

I hope to get out of here soon. I MISS ALL OF YOU!! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!! I hope to make it back as soon as possible and do the Bleach Soul Shout dance once again!

Cheerios, cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!


	26. Race For The Prey

**Oh My Kichigai!  
**By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Six : Race For The Prey**

* * *

It took a while before Ichigo could stabilize his senses and Zangetsu shared moments of silence with him and the wind in his inner world, which was thankfully not ground zero. Ichigo chose to be silent for a while and did not even bother to get up. Everything that he learned was like a bomb against his ego and Zangetsu probably chose a good time to call him into this world of his.

"So…" Ichigo began still in his lying position as Zangetsu stood beside him, "What was it that you were going to tell me."

Zangetsu opened his mouth to answer but Ichigo beat him to it.

"Is this about a non-Shinigami shikai?"

Zangetsu paused and Ichigo's eyes moved as the raven-haired man nodded.

"I see…" Ichigo looked back at the monochrome sky, "So what are you? My Shinigami sword?"  
"No."  
"My Hollow side then?"  
"No."

Ichigo blinked.

"Which?"  
"Both."  
"What?"

Ichigo propped himself up on his elbows but Zangetsu was not looking at him. Several moments of more silence passed and Ichigo frowned. Zangetsu probably knew it without looking and he stiffened a bit and began.

"You exist… with two swords. One for the Hollow side and one for the Shinigami side." Zangetsu began, "Both were dormant while your powers were dormant but when you took in the Hougyoku, things started to be complicated."

"God damn it, my life was already complicated and it took me more than a decade to realize." Ichigo groaned and resumed to lying down. Nothing could surprise him at this point. If there was indeed something else that was more intense than not knowing what the hell he was then he would probably die of hyperventilation if anyone told it to him right now.

"Well, what happened?" Ichigo looked at Zangetsu.

"Both swords fused." The sword replied, "And it created me. The Hollow was left without a sword and had no choice but to succumb to me while he was still weak."

"So is this why you're always in Shikai?" Ichigo asked, still not getting up, "You're two swords in one?"

Zangetsu nodded.

"Damn."

Ichigo was about to sigh.

"But still incomplete."

The Shinigami Representative sat up and looked at Zangetsu. Did he hear that right? Still incomplete? Ichigo continued to look on as if asking him to continue but the old man did not say anything. Ichigo assumed Zangetsu wanted him to think like he always made him do and he tracked back.

That's right. Zangetsu did not have a proper handle and not even a cross-guard. It did look like just a blade with a make-do handle. Ichigo had unknowingly flung his mouth open and Zangetsu stared, understanding that Ichigo had probably grasped the thing he was trying to make him comprehend.

"You mean… You're…" Ichigo did not finish and he got up and grabbed Zangetsu and began shaking him, "Whose side are _you_ on! I mean, come on, you've been in my head ever since you knew it and you had to take _this long_ before you told me? What are you, some Urahara Shoten spawn?"

"I can only tell you what your mind can handle, what you want to know. I do not answer questions unless they are asked."  
"STOP GETTING SO DEEP ON ME!" Ichigo complained as he continued to shake Zangetsu.

"I mean I only tell you things when your subconscious asks." Zangetsu replied in his usual tone, not even bothered that the "King" was gripping his collar, "Look back — the recovery of your Shinigami powers, your discovery of Getsuga Tenshou, your discovery of your Hollow powers, your encounter with your son's inner world… Whenever I appeared to you, it was only because you wanted me to. It was never out of my own will alone."

"After all, Ichigo, this _is_ your world."

Ichigo was still gritting his teeth but forced himself to relax.

"So you mean I'm here now not because you grabbed me?"  
"If I grabbed you, it was because you wanted me to."  
"Grrraaagh!" Ichigo released Zangetsu and heavily scratched his head, "Other people know more about me than _I_ do!"

Ichigo shook his head as his hand rubbed his forehead. He could feel the strange wind against his skin. He was starting to feel sick and Ichigo looked up. Was it going to rain even if he was here? Ichigo continued to stare at the apathetic sky as he sighed, "Zangetsu… What am I?"

Silence.

"You are…" Zangetsu began, "The king of this world. That is all I know."

Ichigo's eyes moved to look at Zangetsu who was still rigid as a pole and the King smiled to himself.

"King of this world, huh?" he said thoughtfully, "So tell me… What does your King have to do?"

There was no answer. Ichigo removed his vision from the sky and looked at Zangetsu, "Maybe it's about time you reach completion?"

"Interesting as that might seem…" Zangetsu began with a tinge of hesitation, "But I believe you still have your son to attend to."  
"Ken'ichi?" Ichigo's eyebrows slightly furrowed, "What about my son? He has an inner Hollow?"  
"That remains to be seen." Zangetsu muttered as his hair flowed with the wind, "But that is not the issue."

"What's wrong with my son?" Rukia asked as she looked at Ichigo's body after returning his Shinigami form in it.

"Ken'ichi has two Zanpakutou — one from the Hollow and one from the Shinigami." Urahara replied, "His Hollow side is still dormant but for some reason, Ken'ichi is able to tap into his Hollow's Zanpakutou."

"It's probably because he was able to kill Ichigo's Hollow's fragment ten years ago. He must have subdued his own Hollow in the process." Rukia reasoned, taking Ichigo's hand in hers and felt the slight roughness of his skin.

"That may be the case." Urahara nodded, "Sacerdotista is a Hollow's sword that has no entity of its own. It only copied the two Zanpakutou it was ever exposed to — Zangetsu and Sode No Shirayuki. However, it has a skill, which is entirely independent from its image."

"Judging from what we've seen, the white sword absorbs an attack and the black sword returns it. However, the boy must be able to suffice the right amount of reiatsu. That explains the wounds after trying to copy Senbonzakura in an instant."

"A Hollow's sword… Is it why Ken'ichi was devoid of sight when he released it?" Uryuu asked as Orihime covered her mouth to yawn.

"Well, just like Ichigo, Ken'ichi exists as a Hollow, a Human and a Shinigami at the same time." Yoruichi began, "The way I see it, the Hollow side is incomplete. Like a Shinigami can not use a Hollow's sword just like a Hollow can not use a Shinigami's sword."

"Which means?" Uryuu raised an eyebrow.  
"The boy is still missing something." Chad answered deeply, "He's missing the mask."  
"Exactly." Yoruichi gave a big nod and Isshin gave a thumbs-up pose that would've sent Ichigo to groaning.

"Wait, if Ken'ichi has two swords, it means Ichigo also has…" Rukia's mouth remained open and she exchanged alarmed looks with Orihime who seemed to have realized it at the same time.

"That is for him to find out." Urahara lazily fanned himself, "When Ichigo's Shinigami powers were revived, he was able to regain the sword and wear the mask at the same time. However, the Hollow's sword remains to be unseen in that incomplete sword and at that time, the Hollow side only made a partial appearance as if only being awakened."

"Zangetsu is still incomplete?" Orihime asked.  
"Does it look complete to you, Inoue?" Yoruichi threw a question back, "Do you see a whole sword or just an immense blade?"  
"But it has Bankai." Chad reasoned out.  
"Does that give any justification that it's already complete?" Yoruichi replied with another question, "What does his Bankai grant him? Speed? And then? What else?"  
"But Madarame Ikkaku's Bankai is…" Orihime began but Yoruichi's gaze cut whatever she was going to reason.

"Madarame Ikkaku is Madarame Ikkaku. Kurosaki Ichigo is Kurosaki Ichigo." Yoruichi said firmly, "For someone with a character and history as complicated as Ichigo, the sword that would mirror his soul could probably do much more."

"Bear in mind. He has the King's reiatsu even if just a part of it… And a lot more besides."  
"What does this say about Ken'ichi then?" Rukia asked.

"Your son has a Hollow sword but not a Hollow side." Urahara looked at Rukia, "His blindness during Shikai is probably a manifestation of this deficiency. Ken'ichi's Shinigami form is incomplete since he has Shikai but can't use it."

"What if Ken'ichi doesn't find his Shinigami Shikai?" Rukia was hesitant to ask.

"Then it will only be in due time before he eventually taps into his Hollow again, awakens it and gets taken over." Urahara replied seriously, "But that is not the only problem. It seems as though your son also has that special reiatsu from the King."

"How is that a problem?"  
"Think back. Don't you need the King's reiatsu when you recreate the Key?"

Everyone gasped.

"You mean Aizen…" Orihime began as her fingers flew to her mouth.  
"No, wait." Chad cut in, "Ichigo also possesses the same reiatsu. His is more developed than the boy's."  
"True." Ryuken nodded, "But it would be much easier to manipulate something that is still in its growing stage."  
"And if Sereitei finds out…" Uryuu straightened, "If Sereitei finds out…"

Who knew what was going to happen if ever news reached Sereitei? What was even more disturbing was that the boy was in danger and he did not know it because if he did, then Ishida Yui would be the least of his problems.

"You say something stupid again and I'll…!" Yui aimed to hit Ken'ichi with something again. Was that a chair? Ryu was getting bored blocking the flying things with his shield and Kon could care less if the children eventually dug out each other's guts out. The Playboy magazines lying around had engaged him and his mentality and it would take a hell lot for someone to pull him off his lazy position.

"Kon-senpai, aren't you going to do anything about this?" Ryu pointed at Ken'ichi and Yui who were both rolling on the floor. Kon lifted his eyes from the page and looked. There was screaming (that was Yui) and clawing (again, Yui), punching (still Yui) and kicking (which was still Yui). Ken'ichi was just trying to keep himself alive while trying not to hurt the little Quincy girl in the process. He had repeated the "I don't hit girls" mantra in his head for how many times he dared not count but he wasn't Boddhitsava and nirvana was not necessarily going to make it right now.

"GET OFF ME!" Ken'ichi finally lost it and pushed her away. Yui gasped as she felt her body being thrown off around a few feet above the ground. She waited for her body to hit the floor but was surprised to feel her body against something that wasn't painful at all but was instead warm and smelled good.

Firm hands. Strong arms.

She looked up at her savior.

Oh, wonderful shimmering eyes!

"Are you all right?"

Yui's mouth was open as she stared at the good-looking boy who was holding her. She was clutching onto his clothes as she felt her body go numb. His voice was so — well, her father would kill her for it but what the hell — so damn sexy…! And his white hair was freaking awesome!

"I… I…" Yui began as she felt a rush of blood up her cheeks. Apparently, the world had stopped for her and she did not hear the screams of the three males who saw Zaraki Kenpachi enter from the sliding door that was now disappearing.

"Are you all right?" Hitsugaya asked again.  
"I…" she was unable to reply.  
"Hey, Yui, stop harassing that kid already!" Ken'ichi complained and looked at Hitsugaya, "Let go of her, you pervert."

"What did you call me?" Hitsugaya felt the angry vein pop in his head. The "kid" was talking to him as if they were on the same level. He was not a "kid". He was Captain and a boy genius at that! And he no longer looked like he was ten. He looked like he was fourteen already! That should at least count for something! And he was no pervert! Seriously, did he really look like a hormone-deranged _young man_ even without his well-endowed fukutaichou? Hitsugaya refused to believe it.

"Is that Ichigo's kid?" Kenpachi looked at the girl who immediately shrieked and flung her arms around Hitsugaya Toushiro and she jumped at the Captain whose eyes widened even more when he found himself carrying her. Ken'ichi sported the same face only his were of disbelief than surprise as he watched Yui bury her face into Hitsugaya's shoulder. Something was gripping his stomach and he was not sure how he was supposed to tear off Yui's arms from Hitsugaya's neck without looking like an idiot.

"Is this Ichigo's kid?" Kenpachi pointed at the girl that Hitsugaya was carrying, "She doesn't look as strong as her father."  
"Because she's not Kurosaki Ichigo's kid." Ken'ichi frowned as he pointed at himself with his thumb, "_I'm_ Kurosaki Ken'ichi. What do you want?"

Kenpachi grinned and Ken'ichi's facial expression changed upon seeing Kenpachi draw out his sword — a rather ill-looking one at that. Regardless, Ken'ichi and Ryu began to rasp for air. Yui felt the same as she cringed against Hitsugaya's body. The young Captain only moved his eyes and said firmly, "Zaraki-taichou, you'll have time to fight Kurosaki after everything is said and done."

"Pshaw, but I'm interested in his son. He even talks like his dad." Kenpachi was not sheathing his sword and Ken'ichi had stepped back. Kon had gotten up and Ryu was busily trying to get air.

"Zaraki-taichou…!"  
"Just one hit."  
"ZARAKI-TAICHOU!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

All eyes in the room turned towards the door where everyone with the exception of Yoruichi, Ryuken and Isshin were standing. Ken'ichi, Ryu and Kon had fallen back to sitting on the floor in partial relief. Yui had her eyes squeezed tight as she clung onto Hitsugaya. Zaraki was still holding his unsheathed sword and Hitsugaya only shook his head. Ishida raised an eyebrow at the young Captain and realized that he was carrying his daughter.

"Toushiro, would you please detach yourself?" Ishida Uryuu pointed.  
"Well, first off, it's _Hitsugaya-taichou_ to you, you non-connoisseur!" Hitsugaya glared at the Quincy, "And it's not like I'm groping her, you know!"  
"Pervert." Ken'ichi muttered out of the side of his lip and Hitsugaya felt like kicking the boy back to where he came from. But, no. Hitsugaya Toushiro was a sophisticated _young man_ who was not going to give in to such provocations.

"Where is Kurosaki Ichigo?" Hitsugaya looked at Rukia.

"You might want to put my daughter down first." Uryuu said again.

Hitsugaya blinked, realizing that the Quincy was right. He looked at the girl who forced him to carry her. She was smiling to herself as she leaned on him, her eyes closed as she breathed dreamily. Hitsugaya did not understand what was wrong with her and he shook her slightly to catch her attention. Yui blinked slowly, blushing again as she looked up at him and she had totally missed the displeased look he was sporting.

"Your father says let go." He said simply and she gasped, jumping out of his arms. She had landed face-to-face with a rather disappointed Ken'ichi who had gotten up and she blinked at him. He was pouting at her and his eyebrows were furrowed, arms crossed before looking away. She shrugged at him and looked at her father who was somehow sporting the same expression. Her mother was smiling, though. Was that a good thing?

"What do you want, Hitsugaya-taichou?" Rukia rushed towards her son and came between him and the two Captains.  
"You and your family are being called for by the Commander-General." Hitsugaya replied formally, "He wants your son to demonstrate Shikai in his presence."  
"What for?" Rukia asked again.  
"Those were the only details that we were given." Hitsugaya replied, "It is something you can not refuse to comply with."  
"We will go after Ichigo wakes up." Rukia had considerably backed with her son.  
"No, we must go now." Zaraki Kenpachi said, looking around for Ichigo, "Where's his unconscious body? We'll just have to carry him."

"Excuse me, but what happened to Niisama?" Rukia asked in an attempt to prolong the conversation and praying that Ichigo regain consciousness as soon as possible. Hitsugaya frowned and hesitated but answered nevertheless.

"Kuchiki-taichou and Abarai-fukutaichou are both detained in the Kuchiki mansion for using Shikai without proper reason." Hitsugaya said, "You will learn the details when we get there."

"But…" Rukia said again.

"We are authorized to use force if deemed necessary." Zaraki Kenpachi cut her words and Rukia gasped, taking steps further back. Ken'ichi looked at his mother and then at the two Captains.

"I will wait for my husband to wake up." Rukia insisted and felt for her Soul Candy dispenser.

"Well, in that case…" Kenpachi advanced and Ken'ichi grunted, stepping between the Captain and Rukia. The Eleventh Squad Captain blinked at the scowling boy who was looking defiantly at the larger man.

"You touch my mother and I'll kill you."

Kenpachi raised an eyebrow.

"Ohoho… Big talk for a small boy."

"I MEAN IT!" Ken'ichi glared and pulled out a Soul Candy dispenser threateningly.

"K-Ken'ichi!" Rukia gasped, "Where did you get that!"

"I bought it after asking Jinta-kun and Ururu-san a while ago while you were still talking." Ken'ichi replied without peeling his eyes off Zaraki Kenpachi, "I know what it does. Okasan, please trust me and change into Shinigami form now."

Rukia only nodded and both of them took in Soul Candies. Kenpachi grinned at the image of two smaller Shinigami in front of him.

"This is not a problem." Kenpachi shrugged and lifted his sword and swung. Rukia was about to take her son and shunpo to safety when a blur of black, brown and red came between her and the attack. Kenpachi blinked and looked at what seemed to be a demon's shield.

The Demon's Right Arm.

"Chad…" Rukia murmured.

"I'm sorry but Ichigo and I had promised that one would protect what the other would." Chad muttered to Kenpachi, "So I believe I won't allow you to pass."

"Enough of this n—" Hitsugaya grabbed Hyouinmaru and was about to unsheathe it when he found a large yellow triangular shield in front of him. He looked to one side. There could only be one person capable of it.

"Ishida Orihime…" Hitsugaya began.  
"I am sorry, Hitsugaya-kun, but if you move any more, I will be forced to trap you within walls."  
"Stop it." Hitsugaya turned towards her but found Ishida Uryuu ready with his Quincy bow and arrow aimed at him.

"Hold it right there, Toushiro." Uryuu said with a steady aim, "You do something I don't like and I won't hesitate to let my arrow fly."

Hitsugaya grunted. This was getting out of hand.

"Urahara-san, would you please take Rukia and Ken'ichi to a safer place?" Uryuu asked without anyone moving.

"Oh, of course…" Urahara smiled and nodded at Rukia who took her son by the hand and hurriedly walked towards Urahara. The store owner chuckled to himself as he lead Rukia and Ken'ichi to take Ichigo's body and hide them in his vast underground shelter. He doubted that he could kill time with them, though, since there were two men who were going to need assistance soon.

"What the hell is taking them?" Isshin was sitting in front of Urahara's house as Ryuken put a cigarette in his mouth. The Quincy then looked up. The sky was opening and two people in white came out. Isshin grinned at the sight of a dark-skinned man in visors and a silver-haired fox face step out of the gash in the sky. Ryuken grunted and took out the cigarette.

"Everyone hates your cigarette breaks, Ryuken." Isshin smiled as he got up.  
"Which is why I hate everyone." Ryuken replied and put the stick back in its case.

"Shinigami." Tousen was looking at Isshin, "I don't know him."  
"Well, maybe he's new." Gin was smiling and he waved, "Hello, there, new person! May I know your name?"  
"Hello! My name is Isshin!" Isshin waved back, "Hajimemashite? May I know your favorite number?"  
"Oh…" Gin paused to think, "Well, I was ex-Captain of the third squad so let's just say three."  
"That can't be right." Isshin pouted and look at Ryuken, "It's too low."  
"Multiply it by ten then." Ryuken shrugged.  
"So if I get him, I score thirty?" Isshin scratched his head and Gin grinned in amusement.

"You bet it's not right, gentlemen…!" Gin smiled as he and Tousen started to step down from the sky, "After all, the guy beside me's favorite number is nine. Would that be a ninety? I don't think that's fair."

"Tsch. Let's split it to fifty each then." Isshin pulled out his sword, "Good enough for you?"

Gin's smile did not wear off.

"Good enough."

- End of Chapter 26 -

* * *

Author: OKAAAAAAAY! There are a great amount of characters! This is kind of challenging! I've never experienced writing about so many characters at one time! Is this how it feels to control Senbonzakura? –cringes- Yeah, I can dream. I hope this reaches you in time, people! I will write as much as I can so that the fic will update with several chapters! Bear with me! Thank you! I look forward to reading your PM's, your reviews and other messages! You guys make me happy! I MISS YOU A LOT!! –wails then glomps-

When I return, shout Bankai with me and do the Bleach Soul Shout dance, mkay?

Cheerios, cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!


	27. Emergence

**Oh My Kichigai!  
**By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Emergence**

* * *

Byakuya silently sat in one of the sitting rooms as he felt a pinkish piece of cloth in his hand. If his upbringing only allowed him to then he would have sighed upon reminiscing his deceased wife, Hisana. But Byakuya had been raised to keep everything in check even in subconscious and sighing deeply in reminiscence was not actually allowed — not prohibited but not allowed. Renji was right outside the large open fusuma to his right that lead to the pond. Even if Byakuya did not look, he could see from the corner of his eye Renji's vibrant hair yelling. Although he was bored to death by just sitting and doing nothing, Renji had refused to leave his Captain's side, which was one reason why the fukutaichou was dragged into detention.

"Rukia would hate me if I left you." Renji had said earlier.

The Captain put the pink cloth in the small box beside him and was about to get up when Renji stood up violently followed by muffled sounds. Byakuya spared a quick glance, feeling for his Zanpakutou but was disappointed to remember that he had been stripped of it for the moment. But his normally apathetic eyes slowly widened upon seeing their visitor covering Renji's mouth and stealthily dragging him into the room.

"Hello, little Byakuya." She smiled at him as she hid behind the fusuma. She had not bothered closing it probably so as not to attract suspicion. The woman was wearing Shinigami clothes and Byakuya assumed she had stolen it from one of the guards she had knocked out right after changing from cat form.

"You're coming with me." Yoruichi said again and Renji responded with a "Mmrph!" It was unclear whether the red-haired Vice-Captain was for it or against it but it did not matter. Byakuya eyed her and then Renji before resuming his sitting position and saying nothing.

"Tsch, you don't get it, do you?" Yoruichi grinned at him, "This is not a request."

Byakuya's eyes moved to look at her. It was a silent inquiry to her intentions and it would take someone who actually knew him to understand his gestures. Renji was not struggling as he blinked at his Captain.

"I'm kidnapping you, Byakuya."

"MMRRRRMPH!" Renji's eyes were wide and Yoruichi had to hold him properly so as not to break anything while trying to send him into a calmer state before he tried to flail his arms. Byakuya had not shown any proper reaction and Yoruichi continued to wait for him to make up his mind.

"Ichimaru Gin and Kaname Tousen have arrived in the living world." Yoruichi said again and clamped her hand tighter around Renji's jaw to signal him to shut up as she continued, "Hitsugaya Toushiro and Zaraki Kenpachi are there as well."

"Is that so?" Byakuya did not even tilt his head.  
"Yeah, so I have to kidnap you." Yoruichi nodded, "I'm a law-breaker, remember?"  
"And if I refuse to comply?"

Yoruichi shrugged and from behind the fusuma was an unusual shadow of a person with a hat. Byakuya stared, figuring out who _else_ it could have been and was not even surprised to see a pink and floral cape-donning man with a wide hat on his head.

"I believe you have no choice but to comply." Kyouraku Shunsui was smiling widely at the Kuchiki clan leader, "Or would you rather stay with me and look at pornographic materials, Kuchiki-taichou?"

"I highly disapprove that." Byakuya was not looking at any of them.  
"I told you, we're here to kidnap you." Yoruichi sneered, "We'll have to beat you senseless and drag you out here before Yamamoto and Aizen gets their hands on your nephew."

"Ken'ichi?"

There was an obvious change of expression upon saying the boy's name. Apparently, Byakuya did not see the boy as a nephew at all but probably as his son. To be able to send Byakuya into an oblivious readable state of surprise and care, that boy indeed meant something. It was a short while of visible emotion for Byakuya and it only took a few moments for him to regain composure but that was enough for Shihouin Yoruichi.

"Okay…" Yoruichi said now, "This is the part where we knock you unconscious and drag your carcass to the living world."

Byakuya slowly got up and looked at Yoruichi.

"So are we skipping that part?" Shunsui smiled and held up two Zanpakutou as he stepped towards Byakuya. The Sixth Squad Captain looked at Senbonzakura for several moments of brief contemplation before his fingers reached out and gripped his sword, hitching it back in place. Yoruichi released Renji who immediately darted for Zabimaru.

"Let's go, then."

"I believe not."

Female.

Yoruichi sighed heavily and Shunsui scratched his head. Byakuya had not shown any reaction and Renji swallowed as the Second Squad Captain stepped in.

"Sheesh, I don't have time for this Soi Fon!" Yoruichi complained. The portal was still open. Not good.

Urahara Kisuke was waiting.

"She sure is taking her time." Urahara yawned atop a rock as he looked at a small open portal to his left. It was something that was still in beta — a small portal to Sereitei for quick exit and entry. The one beside him was the entry side Yoruichi had to activate the exit portal from her side for her to be able to come out to this spot. Urahara just hoped she was able to make it in time with the Captain before it expired.

"Ichigo…!" Rukia was shaking her husband, "Wake up!"

Whatever Ichigo and Zangetsu were talking about, it sure needed a lot of time, which they were scarce on. Urahara was sure that his store would be in ruins after this but it didn't matter. Ishida Orihime could fix things for him after all. Thank heavens for the Shun Shun Rikka. He looked up, wondering how things were with the Quincy. They had indeed tried to slit each other's throats. Urahara got up. The Quincy and his wife would need help against two Captains.

"I have to go." He announced, "Do not leave this place."

Rukia only nodded and looked at Ichigo as Urahara left. She sighed, holding his cheeks between her palms as she lifted his face towards him. What was taking him so long to get up?

"O-Okasan…" Ken'ichi stuttered as he looked around. Rukia blinked at her son and moments later, she felt a wave of reiatsu surge towards them. Partly familiar.

Aizen Sousuke?

Rukia whipped around and looked up. The sky was chipping open! Not possible! This place existed on an entirely different plane so how could one throw open a portal from Hueco Mundo? Rukia immediately drew out her sword and Ken'ichi followed suit but his mother grabbed him and put him behind her. Whatever was coming out of that portal was something she might not handle properly. Rukia glanced at Ichigo.

_Wake up, please._

"Hola!"

That voice did _not_ belong to Aizen Sousuke not unless he had shifted into the body of a little girl with hypnotically waving black wisps for hair. She was sitting atop her winged-lion of an Adjuchas pet. What was going on? Why did this girl have a tinge of reiatsu from Aizen Sousuke?

"You again!" Ken'ichi glared.  
"Araaa…!" Andjaliria snickered and her eyes widened in psychotic delight, "I told you I'm coming back to eat your soul!"  
"Ken'ichi, stay back!" Rukia said immediately, "Dance! Sode No Shirayuki!"

"Ohhh, look, she has a pretty Zanpakutou!" Andjaliria squealed and Kaichzardo roared in response as his mistress pointed, "I'm going to have to take that, too!"

"Wh—"

"CERO!" Andaliria announced without even moving a finger and out of nowhere, a Cero blast was suddenly hurling towards them. It was not an ordinary Cero. It was probably twice than what Grimmjow could pull off. And that was a hell lot. Rukia gasped, realizing that she had to pick up her husband and her son and shunpo to safety but there was one problem. She was not as fast and strong as Ichigo! No time to evade! She had to endure then…!

"BANKAI!"

Last resort!

"HI NO SHIRAYUKI!"

It will have to make it!

"INITIAL WALTZ!" Rukia announced and Ken'ichi could barely see her from all the white light that was around them, "WHITE SENTINEL!"

Ken'chi's knees wobbled from the reiatsu wave that his mother had sent surging through the area. Out of instinct, he grabbed his father and looked up to see what seemed to be a giant crystal snowflake that stood between them and the Cero blast. That small ball made quite an explosion and Ken'ichi could not see anything amidst the flying dust. He glanced at his mother but could only see the outline of her. Something was very different about her.

"O-Okasan!"  
"Don't move!"

Ken'ichi gasped. He had never heard his mother speak like that to him or anyone else. But there was no time for him to understand the situation.

"Hola!"

From behind!

Rukia grunted. Fast little girl!

"Curse what I see!"  
"Ken'ichi! NO!"

"KWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Andjaliria laughed mockingly with a sadistic look across her face as her fingers darted for Ken'ichi to grab him by the hair. Rukia grunted and brought down a pure white sword, which the little girl dodged in disappointment. Glistening powdery white crystals traced the path Rukia's sword had created and Andjaliria gasped and backed. She tumbled away as if it was nothing and her large winged Adjuchas landed behind her.

"Ok… asan…?"

Ken'ichi eyed his mother wearing a pure white Shinigami robes with crossed stitches on the sleeve and white gloves resembling those of Kuchiki Byakuya's on her hands. The giant snowflake had not disappeared and Ken'ichi swallowed upon seeing its grandeur as it spun slowly like a pinwheel. Andjaliria looked at her self as if to check if she was fine and saw a gash on her skirt. She bit her lip and sighed heavily before lifting her gaze at Rukia.

"B-Bankai…" Andjaliria murmured, "Oh, I like her Bankai!"

Rukia frowned. She made it sound like Bankai was just a thing. And on another note, this girl felt strangely similar to Aizen Sousuke.

"Who are you?" Rukia inquired.  
"Ara!" Andjaliria straightened and put her hands behind her as she smiled and curtsied, "Hajimemashite? I am… Aizen Andjaliria."  
"A-Aizen…?" Rukia's eyes widened in surprise. Was she his daughter? Sister? Niece?  
"Haaaai!" The little girl straightened, "Daughter of Aizen Sousuke and therefore the only princess and rightful heir to the throne of Hueco Mundo…"

And her eyes narrowed in a fox-faced snicker.

"… And the rest of the world."

"D-daughter?" Rukia asked again, slightly backing, "H-how? H-how did…"

No way. Even if Andjaliria was his daughter, there was no way he'd have a reiatsu similar to her father's. One reiatsu could not ever be the same even for related people! So how…? Why…?

"It is no use explaining things to miniscule Shinigami like you." She waved Rukia off and flipped her hair behind her, "When you become a part of me, you will understand."  
"What?!"  
"Only one can exist." Andjaliria looked at Ken'ichi and pulled out her wakizashi, "I am the only one."

What was she saying?

"Ordain and obliterate…"

Rukia was taken aback. She was no ordinary Hollow. That Zanpakutou was clearly of Shinigami descent!

No time to think!

Rukia kicked off the ground and sprinted towards the girl but the winged-lion Adjuchas blocked her and Rukia had to slash it out of the way. Rukia swung her sword in an upward slash. Her blade did not hit the Adjuchas but from the ground shot up glistening white snow that tore through the winged-beast's flesh. Rukia side-stepped with ease.

Too late!

"… Emperatriz."

What? Why was she calling it like it belonged to a Hollow?

The wakizashi disappeared and the entire place turned black. Rukia looked around in surprise as she glimmered in the pitch black environment. No, she was not blind. Everything just became black and she looked down on the ground that seemed to be elegant undisturbed black water. Everything seemed to exist in an entirely different world. She looked behind her. Her White Sentinel was still there. Ken'ichi and Ichigo were also there.

Was this an illusion?

What was happening?

Andjaliria giggled and in an instant, she phased through the black water and disappeared. Rukia immediately backed towards her family. Ichigo had not yet regained consciousness. When was he planning on coming back? Damn, she should just kick him awake but she had to make sure that this black water was no threat.

"The Subsequent Waltz." Rukia muttered and held up her sword with point towards the ground, "White Carpet."

With Rukia at the center, the black water they were stepping on turned into pure white snow. Ken'ichi gasped, eyeing the contrast between his mother's ability and the whole place. The snow only covered a certain radius, creating an islet that seemed to be sanctuary in the shadows. Ken'ichi looked at the edge of the carpet of snow and reached out to feel it.

"Don't touch it." Rukia's voice stopped him, "It is made out of the same particles. Don't touch it."

Same particles? Ken'ichi then began to deduce things on his own. His mother obviously did not want to share much knowledge. Rukia had halved the possibilities of everything being false. Therefore, the Ken'ichi beside her could fifty percent be fake but she did not want to risk hurting him if he indeed was Ken'ichi. What she said was enough. If this boy was indeed her son, he would be able to figure out at least half of her sword's ability.

The White Carpet was a Bankai ability that creates a certain area covered with snow. Each particle is a tiny blade that cuts anything at Rukia's will but it requires a certain level of concentration to control the patches of snow that were _not_ supposed to cut Ichigo and Ken'ichi. Just like the White Moon, the ability of the White Carpet covers everything above and below the ground so anything that would come into its covered area would immediately be minced by the fine blades. But Rukia knew this was not enough.

_Ichigo, wake the hell up_.

"OBLITERATE!"

Andjaliria's voice echoed and like a tragically-ending fairytale the White Carpet disappeared in a puff and at the same time, two hands grabbed her foot and pulled.

"No, you don't!" Rukia aimed and quickly brought her sword down, effectively wounding the white hands that had grabbed her. The limbs sank back quickly. Rukia bit her lip and was about to grab her son when ten hands shot up from the water and grabbed her husband.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia reached but only managed to grab nothing but air. Ichigo sank rather quickly into the water and Ken'ichi gasped, pulling out his sword. Rukia's mind was racing. If she went after Ichigo, she would have to leave her son, which was not a good thing. What should she do?

_God damn it, Ichigo, snap your eyes open!_

"Ichigo!" Rukia called in a desperate attempt to wake him up. She had to pull him up but first, he had to stop his falling. There was a bit of difficulty and it was very risky but Rukia had to try.

"First Dance!"

She had to use Shikai ability while in Bankai. Her Zanpakutou better help her.

"White Moon!""

A circle of white light formed on the water and a white pillar shot down and ate up Ichigo. At least she had stopped him from sinking but now she had to break at will because doing it another way could very well kill her husband if she was careless.

"Initial Waltz! White Sentinel!"

The white pillar of ice dispersed and the enormous snowflake appeared behind Ichigo and pushed him to surface. Ken'ichi was about to run to the body of his father but Rukia grabbed him back. The water might have some effect she was not aware of. For some reason, Rukia could feel two versions of Ichigo's reiatsu. One was before her and the other was around her. It was impossible to duplicate reiatsu so how?

"My world, my world, my world…" Andjaliria's voice echoed again and Rukia looked up. From the pitch black vastness, the little girl in white stepped out and stood in mid-air as she grinned.

"That man has wonderful reiatsu." Andjaliria commented with a smile, "I was getting to the good part but you really had to ruin it, didn't you?"

"What do y—What?" Rukia gasped in mid-sentence as if realizing something. Ichigo in the water, duplicated reiatsu around her, "eating"… Could it be? This girl…

"Cero!" Andjaliria announced again and White Sentinel immediately blocked the attack. Rukia lost no time waiting for another attack and declared a third skill.

"The Near-End Waltz! White Footsteps!"

White powdery snow projected from of Rukia's heels and she disappeared in what seemed to be a higher version of Shunpo. Ken'ichi could not follow properly and he could barely see the streaks of white. Andjaliria did not seem to be so troubled and all of a sudden, a wall of shadow formed to her left, blocking Rukia.

"You fight in vain, Shinigami." She looked defiantly at Rukia.  
"We will see."  
"O-Okasan…!"

"FINAL WALTZ!" Rukia declared again and reiatsu rose up. Andjaliria's eyes widened in surprise. Something was coming and she knew it. Even before Rukia could finish whatever she started, a ball of shadow ate her. Andjaliria had considerably backed in horror as the dark globe began to bulge indefinitely and something that seemed to be light was trying to escape.

"NO! NO!" Andjaliria glared and the sphere began to compress as if to squeeze Rukia in it.

"OKASAN!" Ken'ichi got up.

_Call me!_

"Curse what I see!"

_NO!_

Andjaliria's eyes lit up and turned her attention to Ken'ichi.

"SACERDOTISTA!"

_THAT'S NOT MY NAME!_

"AHAAAAAA!" Andjaliria disappeared as soon as Ken'ichi's double swords appeared.

_Stay out of this! You're not going to be able to do anything. Seal back and let me handle this.  
__No, YOU stay out of this!_

"Huh?" Ken'ichi gasped. There were two voices in his head. He did not know who was who.

_She's a Hollow! SEAL BACK and let me handle this!_

"Stop arguing! I can't see!" Ken'ichi complained while trying to feel around him.

_He called ME!_

"Oh, GOD DAMN IT!" Ken'ichi wanted to stab the arguing voices in his head. They couldn't have picked a worse time than here and now! But all thoughts were cut short when Ken'ichi felt something that seemingly rustled to his right and out of something, his left arm lifted and the white sword blocked a Cero. He swung with his right and the dark sword returned a black version of the Cero back at Andjaliria who effortlessly averted it with her hand.

_This is pointless!  
__Why don't you stop talking and start thinking?_

"Shut up, both of you!"

"Talking to your self?" She tilted her head, "I'm getting tired of playing. This is why Otousama told me not to play with my food."

_Ken'ichi let's kill this little prick!  
__You CAN'T do that. LET ME OUT ALREADY!_

"Screw the both of you! You're going to get me killed!"

"I don't know who you're talking to but…" Andjaliria looked at her fingers before smiling and reappearing before Ken'ichi and murmured, "… But you're right about the killing part."

"I…!"

Ken'ichi gasped as he felt something grab his throat. He reached for his neck but felt nothing but air. But the pressure was there — sheer pressure. He could not breathe. Andjaliria grinned at the effect of her fully released reiatsu on Ken'ichi. Well, she should not be surprised. After all, she _was_ spawned from Aizen Sousuke's reiatsu.

"You know…" Andjaliria traced a finger across the dark blade Ken'ichi was holding, "… It's a shame you don't know how to use your immense power."

Ken'ichi grunted but he could not move.

"Unfortunately for you, only one of us can continue exist. She continued playfully, "There can only be one Key. That is me. After all, you lack something. You know what it is?"

He grunted again, his body struggling from whatever it is that he's holding.

"You're lacking a mask!"

Ken'ichi was about to ask her what she meant when all of a sudden, she grabbed him by the hair. There was a great surge of pain from all parts of Ken'ichi's body like his soul was being dragged out of his body by force. He opened his mouth and released a loud cry of pain.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Ken'ichi roared in retaliation as he gripped Andjaliria's arms and tried to remove it from his hair but her fingers seemed to be attached to something. He would not know. He could not see.

"Yes, such a wonderful soul you are, indeed!" She cackled in a frenzied way. He was desperately clawing at her but she received no wounds.

Sacerdotista dispersed as soon as Andjaliria hooked her fingers on the eye holes of the mask she had pulled out of nowhere on Ken'ichi's head. She was laughing hysterically as she continued to drag Ken'ichi's Hollow Mask into materialization. In the middle of his painful screams, Ken'ichi had refused to let go of his sword, searching his thoughts and grabbing every bit of courage and endurance he had in him so that he would not lose consciousness. Every bit was painful to the point of crying. It stung like hell. It burned like hell. But never, never… Never treat your sword with reckless abandon.

_Now. NOW! _

"SLAY BY MY SIDE!" Ken'ichi lifted his sword and there was a new surge of reiatsu from his body. He could see something that seemed to be a red-haired girl wearing a fox mask as she reached out to him. Ken'ichi made no time to hesitate and immediately grabbed the offered help. Perfect! The name made its way into his head.

"KAIFUKURYOKU!"

_FINALLY!_

Ken'ichi's Zanpakutou immediately changed into something that seemed to be transparent crystal from end-to-end. Andjaliria gasped and Ken'ichi's already open eyes were granted with vision and he angrily looked at her as he gritted his teeth but she refused to be shaken.

"You're not going to make it!" She screeched and pulled harder on his Hollow Mask.

"LET ME GO!" Ken'ichi demanded and swung his sword at her arm. There was a loud swishing sound as he brought the blade down. He could see it happening like a countdown to explosion. The blade hit her but she was not wounded. Instead, her limb began to crystallize like a plague crawling from her shoulder. Andjaliria screamed louder and pulled harder.

"NOOOOOO!" Ken'ichi groaned loudly and motioned to hit her again.

He swung.

"FUTILE!" she laughed.

It did not make it in time. The mask came off. Ken'ichi fell back as his sword sealed back as well. He tried steadying everything — his footing, his mind, his vision. Nothing worked and he could feel his back hit nothing but air. His half-lidded eyes gazed at Andjaliria. She was holding up a white mask and fitted it on her face.

"That's…" Ken'ichi tried reaching out but his back hit the water. The boy felt himself plunge deeper and cold fingers touched his skin.

…_Mine._

Was he going to die?

No.

That strong hand that grabbed him by the arm told him he was not going to die just yet. And that voice…

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

- End of Chapter 27 -

* * *

Author: PER CHAPTER REVIEW HIGHLY ENCOURAGED… Begged for, actually! Rukia's Bankai's name drove me nuts. I had no access to the internet and my Japanese books and dictionaries were inaccessible to me as well. You have NO idea how long it took me to come up with a name… again. Urgh! I was about to toss myself out the window! So now we have Hi No Shirayuki and a really terrible headache… The name I originally came up with was supposed to mean "Light of the Snowflake" or something along those lines. I couldn't find the name in my head and my computer is locked at home so no one but I can find those files. I sincerely regret not having backed up information in a CD or a flash drive. URRRRGGGH. CURSES! I had to tell my inner self to run around my head and look for it so imagine my agitation when even my inner self failed! –bangs head on table- Yeah, so that explains this chapter's delay. –cringes- Sorry.

About that name again, if anyone of you knows how to translate it (in case it doesn't make any sense AGAIN… -face faults), please do help. Hi No Shirayuki is supposed to mean Light of the White Snow… Which now confuses me since it's kinda supposed to be Shirayuki No Hi (White snow's light) but deriving stuff from Sode No Shirayuki (Sleeve's White Snow)… Okay, I'm confusing myself and everyone. Just help me if you can, okay? Rukia's Zanpakutou nearly killed me. –is half-dead- See? –half-brain dead-

Longest chapter in the history of the "Oh My…!" Series so far! I didn't know if I did well on this one since I REALLY, REALLY wanted to see the scenes full-animation with sound. –wails- Too bad. It's all going to be in my head. Rukia didn't get to use her Bankai's ultimate technique. Anyway, let's move on to the next chap.

BANKAI!

Hisashiburi desu, ne? – It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Kaifukuryoku – Resilience (Resistance)

Hi No Shirayuki – Light of White Snow


	28. Bow Down To The King

**Oh My Kichigai!  
**By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Bow Down To The King**

* * *

"YORUICHI-SAMA!" Soi Fon's speed was unable to do anything when Yoruichi threw a crystal ball at Byakuya's feet. It broke and the portal opened, immediately consuming Byakuya. Without being told, Shunsui grabbed Renji and threw him into the portal. Soi Fon flash stepped to block Yoruichi but the woman was not called the Flash Goddess for nothing and both women ended up being eaten by the portal. Shunsui sighed as he looked at the still open gateway and looked over his shoulder. A lady in glasses stepped from behind the fusuma.

"Should I close it with my kidou now, taichou?"

Shunsui sighed again.

The Hentai merchandise will have to wait.

"Go ahead, Nanao-chan."

---

"WHERE ARE WE GOING! OUR PARENTS AND SADO-SENSEI ARE STILL THERE!" Yui complained, trying to kick out of Kon's hold, "LET'S GO BACK!"

"MRRMPHF!" Ryu was trying to second the motion but Kon had clamped his fingers around his jaw.

"I'm not doing this because I want to, okay?" Kon leaped between buildings in an attempt to flee to as far as he could. Zaraki Kenpachi's reiatsu nearly killed him and even though he had strode so far, he could still feel all the energy from Urahara's place. For as long as he could feel the intensity, there was no guarantee that they were safe and that was why Kon kept on striding like hell after him.

"Trust me! I know these guys!" Kon said again, "This is for your own good!"

---

Urahara's place was a wreck. Zaraki Kenpachi had torn out a good deal from it and he emerged from the thick smoke that Uryuu had jumped out of with Orihime. The tri-link shield had not left them for one second and at the same time Orihime was able to heal Uryuu's injuries. For as long as she was able to restore him and Chad to full-strength, they had nothing to worry about.

Who was she kidding?

Hitsugaya had not yet released and they were having trouble already.

"For the last time, I don't want to fight you." Hitsugaya told Chad.  
"I don't want to fight you either." Chad replied.  
"Then don't."  
"But I can not allow you to take Ken'ichi."

Hitsugaya grimaced in disappointment.

"I'm getting bored with this. I should just kill them off." Kenpachi growled and lifted his sword.  
"DON'T, ZARAKI-TAICHOU!"

"I REJECT!"

The tri-link shield appeared and blocked Kenpachi's blade but it was not long before it broke like shattered glass. Uryuu was not going to crouch like a stupid duck waiting to be killed. With force and speed, he came between his wife and Kenpachi and Seele Schneider came between him and Kenpachi's ragged sword. Zaraki Kenpachi flashed his menacing mass-murder smile and hurled a great wave of invisible reiatsu at Chad who blocked.

"Oi, Hitsugaya-taichou…" Zaraki nodded at Hitsugaya, "I can take on the three of them. Leave them to me and get the boy."  
"But…"  
"It'll be fun. You have to get back before I kill them and I have to kill them before you get back." Zaraki sneered, "Let's see which happens first."

"Neither." A calm voice interrupted, "Because no one's going anywhere."

All eyes turned into the house where a raven-haired man with kenseikan had stepped out from the destroyed fusuma of the house and was followed by his vibrant-haired fukutaichou.

"K-Kuchiki… Kuchiki-taichou!" Hitsugaya's eyes widened, "What are you doing here?"  
"More importantly, where is my nephew?" Byakuya replied.  
"The hell…" Zaraki had not moved from his after-hit stance at Uryuu who was still blocking, "You see him here? What are you? Blind or something? He's with Urahara Kisuke!"  
"No, he isn't." Renji replied.  
"What do you mean?" Hitsugaya was asking Renji but was looking at Byakuya.

"The underground was empty when we arrived." Renji explained with a hand on his waist, "Ichigo, Rukia and their son are all nowhere to be found. Urahara-san, Yoruichi-san and Soi Fon-taichou are looking for them as we speak."

"Bullshit, I won't get to fight Ichigo!?" Kenpachi had now lost interest in Uryuu and drew his sword back as he stormed towards Renji, "Where the hell are they!"

"That doesn't make sense." Uryuu cut in as he straightened, "I can still feel their reiatsu though but faintly."

"According to Urahara, it is a duplicate." Byakuya replied sternly, "A decoy to cover up their disappearance. Just a trace of their reiatsu. Even their spirit threads can not be found."

"Urahara-san said he left underground to help the three of you fight but as soon as he got out, he felt a strange reiatsu sweep over the place and he could not return like there was a shield over the whole place." Renji added as his Captain nodded only but slightly, "And when the reiatsu that blocked him dispersed, he was able to set foot in the underground place of his but the Kurosaki family was nowhere to be found."

"Who could seal Urahara-san's place like that?" Orihime asked and looked at Uryuu who did not answer.  
"This is not good." Hitsugaya crossed his arms.  
"Didn't they just sprint out of detection?" Chad asked without sealing his arms back.

"Quite but not quite." Uryuu began as he contemplated, "Urahara-san was sure he left Rukia and Ken'ichi underground, right? If they were to run out of that place with Ichigo still unconscious, it would take them quite some time before they could run out of detection since Ken'ichi is not yet that fast and I doubt Rukia could carry them both."

"Running away with Ichigo conscious is also impossible since Ichigo is not able to hide his reiatsu." Uryuu continued as he rubbed his chin, "So how…?"

"I can only think of one answer." Hitsugaya was still sporting the contemplating look and all eyes turned to him. The small Captain sighed and looked up, "They're not in this world anymore."

"Hey, you mean Ichigo's _dead_?" Kenpachi complained, "He's _dead_ and I wasn't the one who killed him? Don't joke around like that! It ain't funny!"

"You mean they're in another dimension?" Orihime asked as everyone ignored Zaraki Kenpachi's comment.

"Possible." Uryuu nodded, "Ichigo and Ken'ichi do have those abilities…"

"So he's not dead?" Kenpachi asked again.

"Abilities?" Byakuya queried with what seemed to be a raised eyebrow, "What abilities?"  
"But there are only two other dimensions that exist." Chad reasoned out, "Are you saying they went to either Hueco Mundo or Soul Society?"

"If they were taken back to Soul Society, the information would have reached us by now." Hitsugaya replied with a frown of disappointment at the situation, "And granted that they've been taken to Hueco Mundo, it's not like you can open a portal from a sub-dimension in the human world just like that. It's just not possible."

"Sub-dimension?" Orihime asked.  
"Damn, I hate thinking." Zaraki Kenpachi scratched his head.

"Urahara's underground place is a sub-dimension." Uryuu explained, "It is a dimension existing within another dimension, which is the living world. To enter a sub-dimension, one must first enter its principal dimension. Simply put, they have to enter the living world before stepping foot in Urahara-san's underground."

"And if they did something like that, we would feel it." Hitsugaya seconded as his arms uncrossed, "Just like how Kaname Tousen and Ichimaru Gin did."

"BUT THERE ISN'T ANY OTHER CRAPPY DIMENSION TO GO TO UNLESS THERE'S SOMETHING YOU BASTARDS AREN'T TELLING ME!" Zaraki Kenpachi complained in exasperation and unknowingly released reiatsu that everyone but Orihime ignored. But that stupid statement made Uryuu realize something.

"There _is_ another dimension."  
"What?" Everyone chorused.  
"The King." Uryuu said, "Only Ichigo and Ken'ichi know how to find the King."  
"SO YOU _WERE_ NOT TELLING ME SOMETHING!"

"The King?" Hitsugaya blurted in disbelief and Byakuya wore wide eyes. Renji's jaw had fallen and Chad nodded as Orihime gasped.  
"How would Ichigo and Ken'ichi know where the King is?" Byakuya's taken aback expression had not changed.

"What the hell…!" Zaraki Kenpachi complained again, "You're the only ones understanding each other!"

"You see, it's like this…" Uryuu began.

"CRAP SHIT, I'M NOT STANDING AROUND TO BE LECTURED BY A FOUR-EYED MORON!" Zaraki glared at Uryuu and motioned to hit him, "I'm going to go to beat shitloads out of Tousen and Ichimaru!"

Zaraki Kenpachi grunted again and dashed _through_ the house and Orihime bit her lip as she looked at the whole that the Captain had torn through. Restoring it would take time and she sighed.

The Eleventh Squad Captain stopped upon reaching the other end of the house and looked around. There were potholes on the ground, dust, smoke, debris — battle traces. He looked around.

Shit, it looked like he would have to _find_ the stupid ex-Captains.

There was a reason why he wasn't for search and rescue and Kenpachi cursed.

Damn.

This was one reason why he should've brought Yachiru. No, wait, the kid would probably just lead him to the park or something. Actually, the park was kind of good because if Kenpachi did go, he would see two blurs running around and a giant black dome looming over it.

Two ex-captains versus a Shinigami and a Quincy.

Isshin had to admit, he kind of missed doing Shunpo but he had to warm up a bit while fighting not to get killed. Tousen had engaged Ryuken and both of them were in that giant cricket-thing Bankai of his. Well, at least Ryuken could _smoke_ there for all he cared!

"Aren't you going to release, Isshin?" Gin Ichimaru asked as he landed atop a lamppost.  
"What, you blind or blinked and missed it or something?" Isshin frowned. Ichimaru tilted his head and Isshin lifted his hand to reveal a handle without a blade.

"You broke your sword?"

Isshin blinked and looked at his Zanpakutou before grinning.

"Oh, so you don't see it?" Isshin turned his eyes towards Ichimaru.  
"When did you release it?"  
"Well, for starters, you just have to call your Zanpakutou and ask it to come out." Isshin explained, "You talk to _it_, not the enemy so if you missed my Zanpakutou's name, that's a shame."

"Yare, yare…" Ichimaru scratched his head, "I'm rusting."

"Okay, let's start again but pay attention. I won't do you this favor again." Isshin sighed and the sword reappeared as if being reformed. Ichimaru's expression changed and his fox-face wore out with the replacement of an observant mask.

"Bring down the hand of god as I bring down my sword…"

Ichimaru Gin made sure he would not miss anything.

"…Sekai No Megumi."

And as soon as those words were said, the sword disappeared as if phasing out of sight. Ichimaru was unable to hold back the surprised look on his face.

"Judging by that expression, I assume you still don't see it." Isshin released the handle which remained suspended in mid-air before disappearing like its blade, "Either it's too fast for you or your reiatsu can't follow or both."

There was no reply.

But Ichimaru was not going to be provoked and he wore back his poker face before waving a finger.

"It will have to hit me eventually to find out, yes?"  
"Aa."

---

Ryuken looked at his hand… or at least tried. He had nothing on him. Sight, hearing, smell, touch — nothing. He sighed. If he were not able to taste anything then screw this stupid Bankai. He was getting out of here as soon as possible.

"Don't despair. I shall make this quick." Tousen's voice echoed within the dome of his Bankai.  
"You have it all wrong." Ryuken said lowly, "It's just that I can't find my cigarette and I really want to smoke."

Tousen did not reply.

"And you wouldn't want to make an enemy out of a Quincy suffering from withdrawal…"

---

Ichigo grunted as he held Tensa Zangetsu in one hand and his unconscious son in the other. He hated being late, which he was now.

Damn it.

"One down." Andjaliria snickered as the mask phased into her face and she pointed at Ichigo, "One more to go."

"I hate pricks." Ichigo spit and lifted his sword. With one shunpo he was gone and in another he was atop the ball of shadow that was still trying to eat Rukia. Andjaliria gasped, disappeared and reappeared in front of Ichigo. Ichigo frowned and motioned to hit the darkness with his equally pitch black blade.

"NO!" she glared at him and Ichigo grunted, swinging his sword at her but surprise caught him when she effortlessly captured her blade between two fingers.

"W-What?!"

Where had he seen this scene before?

The situation did not allow him to think. A white glistening butterfly made its way out of the small gash it created on the shadow ball. Andjaliria shrieked as she backed and Ichigo leapt away. Seconds after, the black sphere was eaten by light and a thousand white butterflies came out flying followed by Rukia in her white Shinigami robes tearing through the darkness. Ichigo landed with ease to one side and looked up. Rukia's eyes suspended on him.

"ICHIGO!" She exclaimed and she flash stepped towards him and her son, "What happened?"  
"I'm sorry. I didn't make it on time." Ichigo handed the boy to her, "But he's not yet dead."  
"Ken'ichi…?" Rukia held the boy in her arms. His eyes were open and Rukia wheezed upon seeing her son in this state. Ichigo cursed.

"You…!" Ichigo pointed her sword at Andjaliria who was holding onto her bleeding arm, "What are you! Who are you!"

"She is Aizen Andjaliria, Aizen Sousuke's daughter." Rukia replied as she looked at the little girl. The white butterflies fluttered around her as she glared at Andjaliria.

"His what!?"

"My daughter."

Rukia and Ichigo gasped at the same time and looked up.

Brown hair. White clothes. A man sitting on a dark watery throne hovering above them.

"Aizen…" Rukia began.  
"… Sousuke." Ichigo finished.

Aizen smiled as he leaned on his hand.

"Hisashiburi desu, ne, Kurosaki?"  
"HISASHIBURI MY FOOT!" Ichigo yelled, "WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU—"

Ichigo was unable to finish. Andjaliria appeared before him and aimed a Cero right at his face. Ichigo lifted his sword to strike but Rukia's white butterfly that landed on the tip of his sword seemed to have done it. Andjaliria backed frantically and flash stepped beside her father. Ichigo paused and looked at his wife.

What? Why was that little girl so scared of Rukia's Bankai?

"Interesting, Kuchi… Kurosaki Rukia." Aizen said as his daughter gripped his sleeve, "You have grown indeed. You can use Shikai abilities while in Bankai. Your Bankai has multiple abilities that can be used at the same time…"

Aizen straightened and looked at his daughter and said, "Plus you have two elements in one sword. Impressive, Kurosaki Rukia."

"How long have you been watching?" Rukia asked him sternly. She was trying to sound convincing and it was all thanks to her Kuchiki upbringing that she was able to hide the shaking in her voice. The feeling of his fingers digging for the Hougyoku in her suddenly came back and inwardly, she shuddered.

"I have been here ever since Andjaliria released."  
"Here?" Ichigo looked around, "Where is here?"  
"Where is here?" Aizen said calmly as he shifted his gaze towards Ichigo, "Here is here. This is my place."

"Hueco Mundo?" Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed. No, this wasn't Hueco Mundo. Aizen chuckled.

"You see a throne, don't you?" Aizen pointed with his hand, "Who sits on the throne, Kurosaki?"

Rukia's world was shaken like a thousand intensities. It can't be!

"THE KING!" Rukia yelled as she motioned to get up violently, "YOU KILLED THE KING!?"  
"Otousama _is_ the King!" Andjaliria glared back at her.  
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE KING!" Rukia insisted, tightly gripping her son toward her.  
"Nothing." Aizen replied, paused and said again, "At least nothing yet."

"I'm currently sitting on _my_ throne, the throne of the one and only King… After I crush his."

His throne? So the King wasn't in the same place? Was the King all right? Rukia was finding it hard to think. Ken'ichi groaned and she gasped, stroking his hair and murmuring to him.

"Your son's Hollow reiatsu is splendid." Andjaliria commented, "I look forward to absorbing him further."

Absorbing… further?

"Like you ever will!" Ichigo grunted and swung, "GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

The black projectile hurled itself angrily at the little girl. Aizen did not move a muscle and Andjaliria sighed in what seemed to be annoyance.

"Pointless." Andjaliria replied and painlessly grabbed the dark crescent with her hand and crushed it to nothingness with her fingers. Ichigo's mouth opened but not a sound came out.

"H-how the hell…"

"Perhaps I should explain…" Aizen smiled at Ichigo, "Andjaliria is my daughter. I made her out of my reiatsu and the Hougyoku. Simply put, she is my clone and more…"

"M-more…?" Rukia stammered. That didn't sound right. Clone? That meant Andjaliria could do everything Aizen could — reiatsu, kidou, shunpo… everything. So that was why she felt like Aizen because the reiatsu she had _was_ Aizen's… And more. More? The girl was Aizen's edited form — reiatsu manifested and tampered upon using the Hougyoku. She was part Hollow. She was part Shinigami.

"Yes, more." Aizen nodded, "You seem to understand somehow but that is all you need to know for now. You will have to ponder further on the details."

"Ponder while I get to work. Shall I, Otousama?" Anjdaliria stepped forward, "The sooner I absorb them both, the sooner you become King and the sooner I become Princess."

Aizen chuckled to himself.

"I will have a problem dealing with that woman, though." She pouted at Rukia.  
"Not to worry." Aizen finally got up and Ichigo and Rukia felt their inner selves shudder from the action.

"I will take care of her."

- End of Chapter 28 -

* * *

Author: PEOPLE, IF YOU LOVE ME AND THIS STORY, PLEASE GIVE ME A REVIEW… At least per chap. –cries- Okaaaay… I revealed quite something. Lots of stuff unclear. I need my internet connection back. I need my computer back. At least even just my Japanese books! –cries openly like Rukia mourning for Chappy the Bunny- This is hard but I really, REALLY want to continue writing.

Thank you for the messages. I am very flattered. Sorry if it takes time before I could reply. Please bear with me. shoots fist up in the air GAMBATTE! GAMBATTE!

Tagalog Paragraph:

_Gaano daw ba ko ka-addict sa animé…? Humihitit ako ng chakra at bumubuga ng reiatsu habang iniinit ng lighter ang batong gumugulong sa papel mula sa pinilas na Death Note (tinatamad kasi kumuha ng foil saka mas practical yung Death Note page kasi reusable) at patuloy ang malalam na liwanag na mukhang munting Hadouken sa cockpit ng aking Gundam hanggang sa ako'y mag-Limit Break at sumayaw ng Hare Hare Yukai na may ternong Sharingan na naka-Bankai. Ngayon, addict ba ako? Hindi naman. Mi ultimo bagot lang, _

_Ayos. Durog._

Hahaha… I'd translate it if I could but no words could equal the thought of this paragraph. It's a result of my boredom. If you know Tagalog and STILL don't understand, it's okay. You're probably better off that way — unharmed. Um… To those who are wondering, I don't smoke and I don't get drunk... most of the time. It's complicated. My only vices are animé, games and the internet.

Anyway, I hope for a review.

BANKAI!

Sekai No Megumi – World's Blessing


	29. Evolution, A Bankai's Bankai

Before anything, I sincerely hope and plead that you give this chapter a review because I NEED opinions about it for future purposes. Please. If you care for my withering sanity, please review.

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Evolution, A Bankai's Bankai**

* * *

Both Aizen and Andjaliria disappeared. Ichigo gasped as the little girl appeared before him with her wakizashi to strike him. He blocked with Tensa Zangetsu as he tried finding a way to safeguard his family. Rukia whipped behind her and was surprised to see Aizen as he held one of her butterflies in between his fingers. Ichigo opened his mouth to say something but in an instant, Aizen and Rukia were gone, leaving Ken'ichi's body above the black surface.

"RUKIA!" Ichigo disappeared but Andjaliria followed.

"No can do…!" She reached out for him to take his mask just like how she did to Ken'ichi but Ichigo grabbed her small limb and threw her away. With another shunpo, he disappeared and reappeared beside his son.

"Found you!" Andjaliria's small voice said playfully. Ichigo frowned and disappeared again. Andjaliria followed suit.

Ichigo cursed. It was so hard trying to lose this little girl! She was cackling like an insane hyena and he didn't like it He would love to slit her throat for the world to know.

"CERO! CERO! CERO!"

Andjaliria had said "Cero" thrice but thirty projectiles shot out towards Ichigo. The orange-haired Shinigami Representative growled and blocked every wave in full speed. Ichigo disappeared in a flash step but Andjaliria had grown tired of their game of cat and mouse and grabbed him by the leg. Ichigo grunted and hurled a Getsuga Tenshou at her but the girl only deflected it. Ichigo gasped and looked at the direction of the projectile.

Not_there_ of all places!

"KEN'ICHI!" Ichigo spun and pried Andjaliria off with his sword. Instinctively, he pulled out his mask. In an instant, he was gone. Another second, he had picked up his son and he tumbled away from the horror of his own technique.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Andjaliria was suddenly behind them and Ichigo whipped around to kick her. She blocked effectively with her small limb and Ichigo's eyes widened under the mask.

"Stop running already!" she laughed at them, "BAKUDOU ICHI!"

_What the hell…! KIDOU!?_

"Obstruction!"

Kidou and a low-level one at that. But her reiatsu was so intense that it was enough to bind him. Ichigo cursed a million times inwardly as he felt his son's body slipping from his grasp.

"Ken'ichi…!"

His son plunged way below him.

"KEN'ICHI!"

_Shit, not now!_

"Bye-bye!" Andjaliria said and she grabbed Ichigo's mask.

_Burning pain!_

"GYAAAAAAUUUUUGHHHH!!" Ichigo hollered in pain and released himself from the binding technique. It was like his head was being removed and everything in him was being sucked out. He felt like he was bleeding. He wanted to throw up. Every fiber in his body was tingling in a bad and painful way. Helplessness… He hated helplessness.

"LET GOOOOOO!" Ichigo complained and he swung Tensa Zangetsu and reinforced with a kick. The little girl squirmed as she threw off him but Ichigo's mask broke in half. One half was on the right of his face and the other was in Andjaliria's hands.

Ichigo reached for his visage. The mask wasn't there. Was it going to grow back? His mask had broken several times before but never felt as incomplete as now.

_Shit. Something's not right._

"ARAAAAAAA!" she squealed and held the halved mask in two hands, "It's a bit ugly but I can manage."

To Ichigo's horror, the little girl placed the mask on her face.

_No…! She's going to…!_

The mask disappeared into her small face. Ichigo nearly stopped breathing as he watched the transition of his mask that became her face. It was… It was…

UNBELIEVABLE!

"Don't be so surprised, Shinigami." She smiled and in an instant, Ichigo was again bound by kidou, "I'll have that other half and everything else that's left of it."  
"You… little…" Ichigo struggled from the obstruction.  
"And when I'm done taking that power from you, I'll take the King's reiatsu from you and your little boy."  
"WHAT!" Ichigo exclaimed.

The King's Reiatsu!? What was she going to… No, wait.

Ichigo's eyes widened. Andjaliria sneered and glanced towards her father.

"Hold still." Aizen said as he gripped Rukia's neck in one hand and eyed the butterfly in another. The thousand butterflies were still hovering around her as Aizen continued to study the insect in his hand while standing in front of the throne in the dark sky.

"Most impressive." Aizen nodded, "It's trying to penetrate my reiatsu instead of my flesh."

Rukia grunted.

"You kill from the inside." The former Fifth Squad Captain muttered, "That is so unlike you, Kuchi… Sorry… Kurosaki Rukia."  
"It's…" Rukia managed to say but Aizen tightened his fingers around her small neck. She squirmed as her hands reached for the spasm around her throat.

"LET HER GO!" Ichigo yelled at him but the binding technique stopped him from doing anything.

"Andjaliria, don't play with your food." Aizen said without even looking at her.

"Food!?" Ichigo complained as he kicked in mid-air, "What am I to you?! I'm not some kind of litter, you bastard! What are you up to!"  
"SHUT UP!" Andjaliria's small palm slapped Ichigo right across the face with a loud clap. Ichigo did not seem fazed and recoiled with a glare at her.

"Kurosaki Ichigo gave this Bankai to you, didn't he?" Aizen said again, refusing to release the winged thing between his fingers, "He gave it to you when he marked you as his own."

"I don't…" Rukia stuttered.  
"Cut your gibberish, Aizen!" Ichigo was shouting after him, tearing him limb-by-limb if only words could.

"There is no way a Zanpakutou can have two elements and yet you do — ice and light." Aizen continued, "Light. Such a rare element. Kurosaki chose a very nice element in his alteration of you."

"SHUT UP!" Ichigo again.  
"Ichi…" Rukia whimpered.

"It is out of instinct to protect you perhaps as well as a counter measure to protect him self."

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Ichigo continued to shout, "I don't know what you're talking about!"  
"_You_ shut up!" Andjaliria slapped him again and his mask chipped, "This is one reason why only I should be the one to exist!"

What?

"_I'm_ the only one who is able to acknowledge _my_ existence!" the little girl shrieked at him. Ichigo's mouth was partly open as his mind tried to deduce her shrill words.

"It's a shame that your powers are put to waste!"  
"My… My powers?"  
"The powers granted to you by the Key!" She pointed a small finger at him and she glared, "If you don't want to be who you are, you can just be a part of me!"

"WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Ichigo protested.

"This place is the incomplete dimension of the new King." She began, "I am the Key to this place. I am the sole Key to everything."

"The sole… Key…" Ichigo repeated and Rukia's eyes widened.

"It took ten years for me to create Andjaliria from all the souls I was gathering." Aizen sighed as he shook his head, "But it all paid off. My reiatsu, the fallen Espada, the fallen Privaron Espada, the fallen Numeros, the Hougyoku… Everything. But it was not enough."

"Soul Society figured I'd get Karakura Town… But that is too troublesome. I never wanted to attract unwanted attention when I work."

Rukia was now choking.

"The reiatsu from the Key itself — that includes the King's." Aizen smiled at her, "That reiatsu is in your husband and your son. With that, I will find the King, kill him and replace him. There is no need to trouble myself with a hundred thousand souls."

"You will never—"  
"Never what?" Aizen looked at Ichigo, "Never can do it? How so? We are on the way to the King's palace as we speak."  
"WHAT!" Ichigo's eyes widened.  
"As soon as Andjaliria _stops playing with her food_ and consumes the reiatsu from the both of you… This place will overlap that of the King's."

"Shut…" Rukia said again and in an instant, Aizen's clothes were torn in various places to his surprise. Wounds appeared on his body and blood spurted from the open flesh. Rukia snickered and Aizen released her but not before digging his bare hand _through_ her mid-section. Her body arched forward as Aizen grabbed her head and pulled out his hand from the hole he had torn in her body.

"RUKIA!" Ichigo called in frantic and with every ounce of strength, he broke the obstruction. The little girl chased after him in surprise.

Rukia wore her eyes wide but she gripped every inch of her presence of mind so as not to be distracted. The flying butterflies surged towards Aizen's hand and the King of Hueco Mundo drew back and pushed her so that she was plummeting.

"Psch." Rukia managed to say as she fell. Aizen looked at the wounds on his body and noticed the sparkles.

There was something more to that Bankai than those butterflies.

"RUKIAAAAA!" Ichigo yelled and flash stepped with all his might and will towards the body of his wife. Andjaliria blocked his way.  
"CLEAR OUT, YOU BRAT!" Ichigo glared before shoving the little girl as far away as possible. Another flash step. He was gone.

"RUKIA!"

He almost did not make it. Ichigo caught Rukia's falling body and both of them plunged into the dark water. He was holding her body towards him as her arms hung from her body. She had changed from Bankai back to her normal form. Ichigo was more than just worried as he wiped a trail of blood from her lips.

"Ichigo." Rukia spoke with her eyes closed. It was strange how the dark water did not seem to be water but just air and space.  
"No, don't talk." Ichigo told her, "I'm getting the three of us out of here."  
"No time." She murmured, "Listen… To me."

She paused and winced before rasping for air. She opened her mouth to breathe in and slowly opened her eyes.

"Devour me."

"WHAT!" Ichigo's eyes widened, "I can't do that, Rukia! I…!"  
"Listen…" her weak fingers reached for his haori and tried gripping it, "The light… in me… can hurt her… Since… she uses… the shadows…"  
"Then you have to…"  
"Shh." Her finger was trying to reach his lips, "It… can kill her… But… My skill is not enough… And so is my time..."

What was she saying?

"You… don't look… so fine yourself…" she looked at him with his half-mask on, "At this rate… We're all going to die…"  
"We're not going to die, you stupid midget!" Ichigo glared at her, "I won't let us die!"  
"Perhaps…" she swallowed and wet her lips, "If you… used this power…"  
"Rukia…!" Ichigo shook his head.  
"Then you could…"  
"NO!" Ichigo insisted, clutching her to him as he continued to shake his head.  
"No choice…" Rukia murmured, "I… was able… to hurt Aizen. Use this power… If you indeed gave it to me…"

Gave her what? He didn't remember anything like that. He was no god!

"I didn't give you anything!"

He was _just_ Kurosaki Ichigo!

"Maybe you did… but did not know it… Hmm?" she was trying to smile as she tilted her head. Ichigo wiped the trail of blood again.  
"That night you made me yours… That night you swore to yourself to protect me forever…" she continued with much effort, "Neither your Hollow powers… Nor your Shinigami powers… Can do anything."

"You have one option left…"

Ichigo swallowed hard.

"Tap onto the power of the King's Key… And borrow the portion that is in you…"

Ichigo shook his head slowly and she saw the eye of his Hollow beneath the mask — those pitch black eyes with pools of what looked like brown and yellow — she saw that exposed eye cry.

"Manipulate... Alter... Absorb... Use..."

He bit his lip. He hated it when his wife made sense in a bad way.

"Do it…" she muttered, "If you don't… We're all going to die here…"  
"Rukia…"  
"You can do it…" she nodded at him, "Just like the first time… But now, do not hold back. Take everything and use… everything… I will… I will…"  
"Why are you trying to leave me!" Ichigo glared at her in spite of his cracking voice.  
"Stop arguing with me, you idiot." Rukia managed to say and with another deep breath, she held her sword.

"Rukia… No!"

"Bankai."

"NO!"

"First Waltz. White Sentinel."

A giant snowflake appeared and pushed them to surface. Andjaliria was now headed towards them. Ichigo's eyes widened as Rukia leaned forward towards him. He felt every inch of her body against him. There was no way he was losing her. No way. There was no way. No way. No way.

"Ichigo." Rukia's stern voice made its way towards him.

No way…

Andjaliria charged towards them as they surfaced. Ichigo could hear his heart say various angry things and for some reason, it was Rukia's life that was flashing before him.

"Final Waltz…" Rukia's fingers touched the hand that was holding Tensa Zangetsu. Ichigo could feel the tears building in his eyes. He could not change her mind.

"White Light."

The thousands of butterflies reappeared and Rukia looked with her violet orbs of gravity and calmness at him, "Do it."

"I…" Ichigo stammered as Rukia lifted his sword, "I can't."

"Do it now."

"GWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Andjaliria laughed as she sped towards them, "The light is faint! So faint!"

"Ichigo…!" Rukia coughed and her eyebrows furrowed. Her vision was swaying.

"Do this! For me!"

She might not make it.

"ICHIGO!"

No, she _had_ to make it.

"HAYAKU!"

Andjaliria gripped her wakizashi and in one movement, she had thrust the blade through Rukia's chest from behind. Rukia's weak fingers gripped his haori in shock and pain. Ichigo's eyes widened as he looked at Rukia's small face that was looking past his shoulder. There was a short grunt from the girl and Ichigo shuddered as his fingers gripped his wife's body that was now slowly losing the heat of life. Andjaliria smiled and Ichigo cursed. Rukia managed to look up at Ichigo and she smiled faintly.

This was the first and last time he saw her look at him like this.

"Ichigo." She said softly and Ichigo looked at her as her eyes shimmered and she whispered, "Just in time."

A trail of blood made its way from her lips but Ichigo was unable to wipe it off anymore. And in parallel, a single tear slid down across Ichigo's half-exposed face.

Andjaliria gasped and looked down. Tensa Zangetsu had been pierced right through Rukia's body. The little girl shrieked in horror and she backed as Rukia's body began to phase in disappearance. She began to sparkle and turn into dust of reiatsu that Ichigo's body consumed. Ichigo could feel the energy flowing through him like mad but it felt nothing close to good. He could not feel her body anymore. He could not see her. He could not… He could not…

_Ichigo._

Ichigo bit his lower lip as he shuddered uncontrollably upon feeling dainty fingers on his hand that held his sword. He looked. No one was there yet it felt like someone so familiar was touching his hand — so near yet so far.

_Arigatou._

Ichigo cursed and did not deny the regret he felt. Perhaps they should've just died. Why couldn't he think of his self first for once? They've been together as husband and wife for only ten years. _Just_ ten years.

There was still so much ahead.

_Saa… I'll fight by your side._

If there was anything he wanted right now, it would be having her back.

"Return…" Ichigo murmured to his self as tears fell down from his Hollow-infused eyes. He had never shuddered so badly like he did now. He had never felt so incomplete, so devastated, so torn, so… so… miserable…

"Return to me…"

"W-what?" Andjaliria was continuing to back away from him.

Ichigo lifted his sword to Bankai stance. Ichigo had no idea how he was able to manipulate reiatsu as much as he was not good with words. But he knew one thing, though. He wanted her back. She had wished for him to use her and her power. There was only one thing he could use so well and if he wanted to be with her in the only way he knew, Ichigo would have to learn Shikai. Ichigo had not experienced calling out a sword in Shikai.

"RETURN TO ME!"

Perhaps this was the first.

"RUKIA!"

Reiatsu exploded like Ichigo's tears streaming and brimming from his eyes. The thousand white butterflies changed into black and reformed behind Ichigo as the black chain on Tensa Zangetsu disappeared and was replaced with the white strip of cloth like the one on Sode No Shirayuki's end. Aizen's eyes widened. He had never fathomed such a display!

Kurosaki Ichigo had turned Rukia into reiatsu and materialized her as a sword!? The transition was too abrupt for so many processes to occur especially with Ichigo's low ability to control reiatsu. There had to be a logical explanation for this.

Ichigo lifted his head as he looked sternly at his sword in one hand.

"You killed your own wife to absorb her. How does it feel, Kurosaki?" Aizen spoke in his normal tone and earned a sharp glare from Ichigo's black Hollow eyes. His half-mask was still on the right side of his face and Aizen could see the mark of a snowflake on the left side of his forehead.

"Not Shinigami. Not Hollow. Not Vaizard. Not Human." Ichigo spoke as if he were alone.

"Ore wa…" Ichigo raised his head as a sign of defiance as the thousand hell butterflies fluttered in gracious madness, "… KUROSAKI ICHIGO DA!"

- End of Chapter 29 -

* * *

Author: Oh my gigai! I killed Rukia! What have I done! How dare meeee! –is e-tasered-

This was supposed to have been out with Chapter 28 buuuut, well, nuff said. I hope I have you stumped. I am under the impression that nearly half of you have lost interest in the story because I killed off Rukia. But if you're observant (especially if you've followed my works since "Oh My Gigai!"), you'll have a pretty good idea of the ending.

Well! I guess that's a wrap FOR NOW. I await reviews and hate/flame mail!

Cheerios, Cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!

-flees-


	30. Sovereignty

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Thirty: Sovereignty**

* * *

With a sharp glare, Ichigo disappeared. Aizen lost no time and disappeared as well. Anjdaliria, getting the hint, immediately flash stepped towards Ken'ichi and picked him up. She cracked her fingers for a while before thrusting her hand into his stomach. There was a sound of a spasm against what seemed to be flesh Ken'ichi was not bleeding at all. The boy wailed as her hand painfully phased through his soul without a wound. She grunted as she searched while her father engaged the orange-haired Shinigami Representative.

"Another level for Bankai." Aizen said simply as he blocked Ichigo's attack with his own sword. Ichigo did not answer and instead, he swung again. Sparks flew and small sparkles of white traced across the path the sword had made. Aizen noticed. Interesting, indeed.

Ichigo disappeared and reappeared in another attempt to bring his sword down. He spun in mid-air, threatening to plunge head first but was stricken by baffled alarm when instead of seeing Aizen, his brown eyes cast sight upon his wife.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia cried and he drew back with wide eyes. He landed to one side and looked at her. Ichigo then looked at his sword.

All black again.

What?

"Ichigo." She said as she shook. She was standing in the same white robes that signified her loss of Shinigami powers. Ichigo swallowed hard as he eyed black chains on her neck and wrists.

"R-Rukia…!" he gasped, motioning to run to her.  
"Don't come near me!" she glared at him and he froze with eyes in baffled alarm as he watched her open his mouth again, "Don't… Come near…"  
"But…" Ichigo looked at her.  
"Didn't I tell you…" She continued, "…To kill me, Ichigo?"

Ichigo had never heard his heart beat so loudly. His mouth was open and yet he could not grasp for anything to say. Didn't he kill her? Didn't he absorb her? Ichigo looked at his sword again. The white strip of cloth was gone and the black chain was there again.

But the chain wasn't broken.

Ichigo traced it with his eyes. The chain rest of the chain had submerged into the black water. He looked at Rukia and followed the chains on her limbs. Black chains wound her body and its supposed end was also dipped into the water. What was the meaning of all this?

"R-Rukia…!" Ichigo gasped.  
"I told you to kill me, didn't I?" she glared at him, "What did you do, you idiot?"  
"B-but I…!"

"That is enough!"

That was another voice. Familiar.

Exactly the same.

Ichigo looked around.

Another Rukia.

Ichigo gasped. He looked at the one that used to be in front of him and the one that was now behind him. Two of them? This one was not chained but had red spirit threads all over her body.

"W-who are you?" Ichigo asked as he eyed the new depiction of his wife.  
"Who do I look like to you? This is not the time to hesitate, Ichigo." She told him sternly, "Cut these threads that bound me. Now."  
"NO!" The first Rukia shouted at him, "You have to kill me now, Ichigo!"  
"Look…" The second Rukia lifted the red spirit thread and showed him that it was linked to his own, "… I'm still bound to you. You have to free me and absorb me."

"Ichigo!" The first Rukia.  
"Now, Ichigo!" The second Rukia.

"I… I…" Ichigo was too busy looking back and forth at the two images of his wife to even think about what he should do. He was still in the state of longing for her, mourning for her. Everything around him now was not very helpful.

Could it be an illusion? Aizen's sword? When did he release?

"Ich—"

"SHUT UP!" Ichigo hollered. He was trying to solidify his resolve as he looked at the chain that was linked to his sword and the red spirit thread that was shared with his. He had fused Rukia with himself, creating a sword with her. It was understandable that she would be linked to Zangetsu. However, the images from their wedding occurred to him — the spirit thread. Which was the real Rukia?

"Listen to me! Hear my voice, Ichigo!"

Ichigo shook his head.

"Can't you tell who your real wife is?"

He gripped his sword. No, he couldn't tell at all.

"Listen to your heart, Ichigo…!"

_Ichigo._

---

"Ken'ichi."

The boy sat up and looked around.

What world was he in this time? This wasn't his inner world. It was full of snow.

"Ken'ichi."

The boy looked up.

"Okasan?" his eyes widened upon seeing the smiling face of his mother in a white kimono. He got up immediately, not minding that he was barefoot against the damp and only mild coldness of the snow against his feet. With unstoppable tears in his eyes, he ran to her, flinging his arms around her and hugging her by the waist and his relief was unthinkable when he felt her arms move around his body. She was so warm. Ken'ichi shook against her, hugging her tighter as she stroked his hair.

"Okasan…" Ken'ichi sobbed, "Let's go home. I want to go home."

"Ken'ichi, I want you to listen to me." Rukia said softly as she continued to feel the soft strands of black against her fingers, "You have to wake up now."

Ken'ichi stopped and lifted his face towards his mother before sending her a questioning look.

"You have to wake up." She said again, "Your father… is not well."  
"Otousan?" Ken'ichi fought the tears, "What happened to Otousan?"

"I have no time for that." Rukia continued as she wiped the remaining tears on her son's face, "But right now, I'm having a hard time reaching him. I only have a fragment of me in you, Ken'ichi but I will try to help as much as I can."

"Okasan, I don't under—"

"Your father can not grasp what is his. Please, Ken'ichi. You have to wake up." Rukia's eyes were starting to shimmer amidst the falling snow that didn't seem to touch her as she somehow glowed, "I… You need… to return now, Ken'ichi. This is my inner world. You do not belong here. I am… only lending you this place for a while."

"Lending this to me?" Ken'ichi asked, "What? Why? What happened to my inner world?"

"I have no more time." She shook her head and slowly released her son. Ken'ichi grabbed her sleeves and refused to let go but Rukia shook her head again, "I still have to reach your father."

"B-but, Okasan!" Ken'ichi gripped her kimono tighter but his small fingers phased through as she began to step back. His eyes widened as his mother moved away.

"Okasan…!"

"You have to wake up now, Ken'ichi."

"Okasan!"

Rukia smiled at him.

"Take care." Rukia's tears fell across her cheeks, "I love you, my little baby Kii-chan."

What did that mean?

"Okasan!"

Ken'ichi chased after her. She was now disappearing behind the snowfall as she nodded at him.

"Okasan!"

A firm hand suddenly grabbed his wrist. Ken'ichi looked behind him. It was an older girl with red hair and red eyes. Her fox mask was drawn back on the side of her head and she wore a white haori and red hakama.

"K-Kaifukuryoku…!" Ken'ichi exclaimed, "Y-you have to he—"  
"Enough, Ken'ichi." She told him and he looked back, seeing his mother who was now sinking into the ground.  
"OKASAN!" Ken'ichi struggled against Kaifukuryoku's tight fingers, "Hanase! My Okasan… Needs me…!"  
"She needs you to wake up!"  
"NO! I need to save her!"  
"KEN'ICHI! ENOUGH!"  
"OKAAAASAAAAN!"

"Ken'ichi, if we don't leave now, you're going to lose me!" she told him, gripping his arm tighter and pulling him so that he would turn towards her. He stopped, letting himself grasp the situation with much effort and disdain. The young Shinigami stared with tearful eyes at her and she gasped when the boy's lower lip started to tremble but was taken aback when Ken'ichi began to wail as he hugged her by the waist. Kaifukuryoku blinked once and then twice as she eyed the shaking body that was supposed to be her master. Master, not little brother. But he was trembling so badly and it really stung her whenever he cried. She breathed deeply and hesitated for a while but managed to give the boy a gentle hug.

Swords were not really meant to do this.

"Ken'ichi, if we don't go, you're going to totally lose Sacerdotista."

Ken'ichi stopped.

"Sacer… dotista?" he looked up at her, "I… haven't… lost her?"  
"Well, not yet." Kaifukuryoku replied with a slight embarrassed smirk, "If you wake up now, we might still make it."

---

"Ichigo!" that was the second Rukia.  
"Shut up!" Ichigo glared at her, pointing Tensa Zangetsu but not being able to do anything.  
"Ichigo!" that was the first Rukia.  
"I said shut up!" Ichigo turned his sword towards the first Rukia and then at the second, "Shut up! Shut up! Shu—"

WAP!

"YOU SHUT UP!" An intense female voice hollered across Ichigo's head as he felt his cheek meet his palm and his body flew to one side. He was unable to regain balance and he fell off the bed and onto the floor.

Wait.

Bed?

He looked around. Ichigo's eyes widened.

It was his room… Ten years ago.

"Get up now!"

Ichigo turned to his window and both happiness and disbelief struck him upon seeing Rukia in their high school uniform standing on his bedroom window. Her feet were apart and her arms were crossed as she lifted her head at him and gave him a defiant glare. She was frowning. He did not care.

"Rukia…!"

"Don't 'Rukia' me, you fool!" she yelled at him and in an instant she had flown a kick at his face. It hurt and yet Ichigo did not seem to mind. She landed with ease and Ichigo remained on the floor for several moments more.

"What do you think you're doing calling yourself my husband but not being able to distinguish me from them!" she glared at him and pulled him by his collar, "You absorbed me already, didn't you!? What the crap is wrong with you!? How can they be me if I'm with you!"

"How can you say that!" Ichigo yelled at her, "Give me some space over here! I just lost you using my own sword!"  
"You absorbed me, baka!" she glared back as she slapped him and his head threw to one side but he did not move, "If you don't hurry, I'm really going to die!"

Ichigo gasped and slowly veered his head towards her.

_Really… Going to die?_

Rukia was frowning at him. Her violet eyes were narrowed with intensity at his direction. She was saying something and yet he did not hear her. Even though she was disappointed, even though she was annoyed, even though she was frowning, even though she was glaring…

"Rukia…" Ichigo muttered softly and his hands shot up, pulling her towards him and he met her with a kiss. Her eyes widened in surprise but Ichigo could not care less as he pulled her closer, his arms circling the small body he was tensing against. He moved his mouth slowly, enjoying every time tick of it as she responded accordingly. He could care about the world later. If he indeed had to save it then he better get his mind straight and there was no one and nothing else in the world that was able to reassemble his fragmented resolve but his wife and her presence. She gripped the front of his haori as she began to shake and released a soft moan.

How could she have fallen in love with such an idiot? Perhaps it was because she was an idiot her self.

With much difficulty, Ichigo pulled away to look at his wife. He would register everything in his head — her eyes, her hair, her lips, her scent… everything.

"Better?" she asked him.

Ichigo nodded.

"Good." Rukia smiled, "Wake up now, Sleeping Beauty."

---

"I FOUND IT!" Andjaliria exclaimed and looked at her father who was holding up Ichigo's unconscious body as his other hand searched his mid-section in the same way Andjaliria did to Ken'ichi. The girl's hand was still in the boy's body and she began to laugh as she slowly pulled her hand out. Aizen smiled, seeming satisfied him self and he looked up where a white light was forming just above Andjaliria.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Andjaliria cackled like a psychotic killer, "Such reiatsu! It's going to be so delicious!"

"I have found the one in this one." Aizen said calmly as Ichigo began to groan, "You will have to pull it out of him when you're done with that."

"HAAAAAAAI, OTOUSAMAAAAAA!" She replied shrilly in a scary playful voice.

Aizen looked up again. The King was just beyond that opening portal. He just knew it. He felt the alarming reiatsu that was between his fingers. It was intense, indeed. He had not felt anything like it. Whoever the King was did not matter now.

That King was going to die and be replaced.

"Hold it right there."

There was a thrust.

Aizen gasped.

The sound of blood spurting.

He looked down.

A black sword thrust right through his mid-section.

Impossible!

"Tsch." Ichigo grunted and gripped Aizen's arm whose hand was in his body, "Stop trying to do shit…!"

"You…!" Aizen glared and motioned to pull his hand out of Ichigo but the Shinigami Representative held on tighter. Aizen frowned and raised his hand to do something but Ichigo only snickered.  
"Kidou… will not work…" Ichigo growled at him, "Rukia's Bankai had already scathed you."  
"What…!" Aizen glared at his victim.

What lies did this boy spout!

"White Light… The butterflies try to penetrate reiatsu… The powdery snowflake blades that fall from them do the cutting." Ichigo started to explain, "But the whole aim of this is to distract you from the real purpose of the Bankai."

"Real purpose…?"

Ichigo snickered.

"Severing of reiatsu."

"STOP LYING!" Aizen yelled and tried to pull his hand out but Ichigo held on. It was the first time he had seen Aizen react with aggravation. So there was something that startled this man, after all. Ichigo knew that the King of Hueco Mundo knew he was not lying. He could not pull off that demon art he was going to cast. Blood began to drip from the side of Ichigo's lips but he gripped on Aizen's arm tighter. If this man pulled his hand out, who knew what was going to happen.

"As long as this sword is in your body…" Ichigo was half-smiling through the half-visible part of his visage, "… I have… total control… of your reiatsu. You can't... even... release..."

That's right. This sword…

As long as this sword made from Rukia's entirety was in him…

"Your reiatsu… IS MINE!" Ichigo mocked Aizen who sported eyes of disbelief.

Rukia's reiatsu flowed in Aizen's body and negated his every movement from within. Ichigo was never good at controlling reiatsu and Rukia was an exact complement to that gaping hole of skill.

So Kurosaki Rukia had not thoroughly disappeared?

"What now, Aizen? Do you regret not having used Bankai earlier?"

No. Aizen refused to be beaten. There had to be another way around this.

"You do realize that by doing this, you are endangering her." Aizen gripped the sword but Ichigo held on firmer, "After all, she has turned into nothing more but reiatsu and…"  
"Wrong." Ichigo cut Aizen's words, "I lost consciousness. Rukia never did. Her soul… Is still in me… It has not… fused thoroughly."

It was not clear whether Aizen chose to say nothing or he was too flabbergasted to speak but nevertheless, he looked up and saw that the portal was growing.

"If I hurry, I could still bring her back!" Ichigo seemed to be speaking to himself.

_Just… Just… Don't overdo it, Rukia…!_

The thousand hell butterflies surged like a wall and flocked around Aizen. Ichigo winced as he struggled to control Rukia's reiatsu while making sure Aizen did not remove his hand or take out any of his reiatsu. The whole process will take time but Ichigo will have to make it.

_Hold on, Ichigo. I'm here to help you._

He_will_ make it.

"ANDJALIRIA!" Aizen called for his daughter, "HURRY UP WITH THAT!"  
"I'M ALMOST DONE, OTO—"  
"Not quite."

The girl growled and looked straight into the violet eyes of an angry raven-haired boy who was pulling her hand towards him as if to return the reiatsu she was trying to pull out. She squirmed, jerking at him as she struggled but he merely grunted and grabbed her by the hair. The girl shrieked as Ken'ichi clawed at her scalp but more horror struck her when she found a white butterfly on Ken'ichi's forehead as well as the mark of a snowflake.

Light!

Wasn't that woman supposed to be dead!?

"Give me my mask back!" Ken'ichi demanded upon seeing the girl in her dazed state.

"NOOOOOO!" Andjaliria screamed shrilly as she insisted on pulling her arm back. She had an intense need to break free and Ken'ichi held onto her arm and pulled on her hair. He could do this. He could find his mask. He could find his sword.

_Calm down, Ken'ichi. Remember her face. Feel her. Call her._

"This is harder than it seems…!" Ken'ichi was talking to his sword.

_She is close. Find her._

"You're not taking it! It's mine!" Andjaliria screeched.

"No it's not! Give it back!" Ken'ichi glared and all of a sudden, he felt a strange surge of reiatsu that brushed against his fingers. He grunted and continued to feel it as it grew thicker towards him.

_Ken'ichi!  
Ken'ichi!_

Two voices! Ken'ichi could finally distinguish one from the other!

"GIVE IT BACK!" Ken'ichi glared as he closed his fingers that seemed to have latched onto something, "THAT MASK IS MINE!"

With full force, Ken'ichi pulled a mask off her head. The girl shrieked but nonetheless was able to pull out her hand out of Ken'ichi's body along with the reiatsu she had wanted. Ken'ichi hollered in pain and Andjaliria, in spite of absorbing the Key's reiatsu into her body, was hysterically feeling her face with her fingers.

"IT BURNS!" She shrieked, "IT BURNS!"

Ken'ichi rolled to one side, clutching onto his midsection and spitting blood as he held on to his sword to seemingly ask for some strength.

_Calm down._

That was Kaifukuryoku.

_Sacerdotista is fine._

"I… I see…" Ken'ichi managed to say. His vision was swaying and he was feeling weaker than usual. He had obviously lost a great deal of power and he looked at Andjaliria who was glowing as she shrieked in pain.

_The absorption is not yet complete._

"Absorption?" Ken'ichi asked.

_Yes, if you stop her now, you might be able to regain the reiatsu she took from you._

"I see." Ken'ichi pushed himself up. Sensing danger, Andjaliria did her best to endure the pain as she aimed a Cero at Ken'ichi. The boy smirked and to Andjaliria's alarm, he pulled out a mask over his face at the same time.

"Curse what I see, Sacerdotista."

"CERO!"

The projectile hurled towards Ken'ichi who blocked with the white sword and returned it with the black. Wounds opened in his skin but he did not mind. Andjaliria effortlessly deflected the returned Cero. The great deal of reiatsu she was trying to absorb was rendering her quite vulnerable. She glanced towards her father who was being drowned by a reiatsu of Hell Butterflies as he struggled to pull his hand out of Ichigo's midsection. She looked up. The portal was almost open. She had to hold on.

For royalty!

"Slay by my side, Kaifukuryoku."

The twin swords disappeared and changed into a single crystal-like sword that was as tall as Ken'ichi. With much strength and swiftness, he charged at her. Andjaliria took out her wakizashi and blocked.

"CE—"

"SHUT UP!" Ken'ichi slapped her with his other hand and she fell on one side. Ken'ichi then lifted his sword and brought the blade down on her leg. She screamed in panic but not in pain and her frantic eyes caught a glimpse of the boy's eyes under the slits of his mask before looking at her supposedly decapitated leg.

There was no wound. It did not bleed.

But her whole left leg turned into crystal.

"W-what…!" she looked at her limb in horror but nevertheless tried to get up.  
"Useless…" Ken'ichi muttered as he took angry steps towards her, "It's now made of diamond just like my sword. No can do."

Andjaliria remained in alarmed silence for a while.

"D-diamond…?" she murmured.  
"Yes… And only one diamond…" Ken'ichi raised his sword, "… Can cut another diamond."  
"WHAT!"

Losing no time, he brought down the blade and hit her crystallized leg. The moment the clacking sound of crystal echoed was the same time that the crystallized leg was pulverized into nothing.

Andjaliria released a prolonged scream of pain and at the same time, Aizen had fallen onto the ground with Ichigo. Aizen was able to take out his hand but not Ichigo's reiatsu. After all, he had no ability to absorb reiatsu. He looked up at the portal. A negation-looking light had shot down from it as if inviting.

All or nothing!

Aizen immediately got up with much effort. The butterflies had not left him at all. In one painful pull, the black sword was out of his body before he proceeded to shunpo towards the door towards the King's dimension. Ichigo gasped and coughed blood. Right now, he could not get up.

"AIZEEEEEEEEEN!"

The swarm of butterflies fled after him. Ichigo was finding it hard to control them and their slower movement was proof.

Andjaliria squirmed as she sprawled helplessly with tears streaming from her wide apathetic eyes. She was going to break down any minute now and she did not know how to contain the energy she had absorbed. She was glowing unstably as she felt something trying to activate something else. Was it the Key? And she looked up and her lips trembled as her father entered the light that had shot down from the augmenting hole in the sky. Her eyes widened and her small hand shot up to reach for him.

"Otousama!" she called and she smiled as she saw Aizen's soft eyes turn towards her.  
"Andjaliria." He said calmly as he ascended, "You have served your purpose well."

Time froze for the Aizen clone.

No.

"O-Otou… sa… ma…"

"Make me proud, Andjaliria." Aizen said again with the same smile that deceived Hinamori Momo, "Keep the portal open for as long as you can."

Andjaliria continued to stare in the helpless state she was in. Their purpose… Her purpose… Everything was meant to be exactly as her Otousama wanted it to be. Amidst and against all odds, perhaps… perhaps…

Ken'ichi walked behind her and lifted his sword. Andjaliria sighed heavily and bit her lip. Aizen nodded.

"Hai…" she said with a heavy nod, "Otousama."

Andjaliria disappeared in a puff of silvery powder of reiatsu that immediately flew towards the negation-looking light. Aizen looked pleased at everything and watched as the remains of his daughter replenished much of his lost reiatsu.

_Ken'ichi! Get up! That reiatsu is YOURS!_

_She is right. Ken'ichi, let her get it back for you. Seal me and release her now!_

"Curse what I see, Sacerdotista!"

The diamond blade turned into two swords of black and white.

Ken'ichi winced slightly as he released again. Switching between two different swords so many times was taking its toll on him but the boy had to ignore it. With a quick dash, Ken'ichi lifted his white sword as he came between Aizen and the flow of silver reiatsu. The white sword began to absorb the surge of energy and Ken'ichi coughed as the new form of energy flowed back into his body. Aizen frowned but slightly. He lifted his hand. Ichigo grunted.

This man was _not_ killing his son!

"YOU BASTAAAAAAARD!" Ichigo hollered after Aizen whose eyes widened slightly upon seeing Ichigo speeding towards his direction. Aizen could feel reiatsu making its way back into his body. The King of Hueco Mundo grunted and he looked up. He could see beyond the portal.

He could see something. It was a shadowy figure of a human… that spoke.

"I don't forgive infidelity."

The King!

"YOU…!" Aizen's eyes widened.

There was silence. Aizen braced himself but the King's retaliation was nothing but a word.

"Enough."

- End of Chapter 30 -

* * *

Author: -looks at self- I'm still alive. I wonder how long before you kill my pixels…

_This_ is what took me so long. I'm sorry. This chapter had undergone like TEN revisions or something. SERIOUSLY.

Cheerios, Cookies and Bankai love!


	31. Days Of The Same Number

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Thirty-One: Days Of The Same Number**

* * *

Ichigo's body lay side-by-side with his son's on the dark water.

It started to rain.

A hand picked up Ichigo's half-broken mask and put it on his face.

"Well done."

---

Opening portal. Aizen ascending. Speeding after Aizen.

Darkness.

The next thing he knew was that he awoke at Urahara's store after being healed by Orihime.

Ichigo hated not remembering anything.

From what the others told him, it was unclear whether or not Aizen died. Gin and Tousen were taken back via Negation to Hueco Mundo in the middle of their losing battles. It took Zaraki Kenpachi overnight to find his way back to Urahara's place and Yamamoto summoned all officers back to Soul Society.

Ken'ichi had been out cold for three days and had cast himself into deep silence since then. Due to his trauma, his meeting with Yamamoto was postponed after Unohana-taichou announced that the boy was not fit to perform even the lowest form of kidou at this point. It seemed as though he had lost his Shinigami powers from anguish but it would only take a while before he regained it.

And Rukia…

Ichigo grunted to himself.

Rukia was nowhere to be found.

He was unable to bring her back. He was unable to reform her. He was unable to use her as part of him as well. He could no longer feel her in him. He could no longer feel her.

Where did she go?

Well, he did remember her say that when a Shinigami dies, that Shinigami becomes part of the spirit particles that is found in the environment.

Shit, no.

Ichigo sat thoughtfully in front of his desk as he mused on. It had been a month since the incident and Ichigo reminisced as he looked at the discarded brush lying between the ink and paper with an unfinished character. Ken'ichi had returned to school but was always in deep thought and was very silent even around Yui and Ryu — even around Ichigo. Isshin and Ryuken both acted and spoke as if nothing happened.

Kuchiki Byakuya and Hitsugaya Toushiro were both suspended as Captains for a certain time for "acting in such a way unbecoming for a Captain". Apparently, Hitsugaya refused to obey orders when he refused to fight Chad or any of Ichigo's companions as well as for stopping Zaraki Kenpachi from carrying out "force when necessary". Matsumoto Rangiku argued for her Captain but was turned down. Renji was detained for half the time of his Captain's suspension.

For Byakuya and Renji, detention was more of therapy and recovery from what happened to Rukia. Renji had gone into a drinking spree and even challenged Zaraki Kenpachi to a "fight to the finish". The Captain gladly obliged and Soi Fon had to step between them before Renji emerged as a corpse. Byakuya had said nothing but he refused to even look at Ichigo but Ichigo knew that Byakuya's eyes were trying_not_ to blame him simply because "Rukia would not want it". And because he said that he was very, very, very disappointed for being so useless after being "kidnapped from detention" ("It would've been the same if you had just left me alone and followed the rules"), the noble Captain made it clear that he did not want to be disturbed, approached or spoken to unless it was of high importance.

Detention.

For some reason, the Commander-General was forbearing because if he were in his usual self, he probably would've sentenced them all to death. And since the Central 46 still hadn't been reformed, Ichigo could not figure out who could be pulling some strings of luck for them.

What could have happened to Aizen?

And the King?

The Key?

"Augh."

Headache. Ichigo could not really remember. And unlike the situation with his mother where he only felt like he had been tossed into an unconscious state to miss everything, this one felt like the whole situation was erased.

Ichigo sighed heavily and got up upon hearing the chimes sound with the opening door. He walked out of the room and made his way to the stairs where he stood looking at Ken'ichi who had just come in from the genkan.

"Ken'ichi." Ichigo called and the boy looked up at him before saying, "Tadaima."  
"Okaeri." Ichigo nodded at him.

Ken'ichi smiled faintly and started up the steps. Ichigo watched his young son towards him and held back from sighing.

"Son…" Ichigo managed to say without looking when Ken'ichi was standing on the same step as he was.  
"Yes, Otousan?" Ken'ichi replied lowly, not looking at his father.

Moments of silence passed but neither of the two said or did anything. Ken'ichi slightly veered his head afterwards and Ichigo finally broke the thick stillness of uncertainty.

"I tried again." Ichigo said with a sigh.

Ken'ichi did not answer as if waiting for Ichigo to continue.

"I… couldn't."

Ken'ichi's back straightened. There it was again… That Kuchiki posture that reminded Ichigo so much of Ken'ichi's mother.

"I see." The boy's voice cracked and attempted to take another step, "It's okay, Otousan."  
"No, it's not okay." Ichigo finally turned to face Ken'ichi, "It's not okay that I can't bring your mother back."  
"I don't blame you, Otousan." Ken'ichi looked farther away, "It's not your fault. We both did not make it in time. Okasan would not be happy with us this way."

Ichigo failed to reply.

"Excuse me." Ken'ichi bowed slightly and proceeded to hurriedly run to his room. He tried to hide it but Ichigo still heard his son's short sob. Ichigo sighed heavily and sat on the stairs as he gripped his hair. He gritted his teeth to repress the tears. After all, his son was right. Rukia would hate seeing them like this.

It was her decision to be part of him, right? She was happy about it, right?

Ichigo had been forcing himself to give an affirmative answer but every time he tried, his guts twisted to scold him. It wasn't really his nature to do something he didn't want to begin with.

Perhaps it would've been better if he just let them all die than to live without her. So what if Aizen killed the King and took over? Would it matter if he died? At least if they died, they could've died together. Now he was living without her. It was not that he was complaining that he only had his son but…

But...

But it hurt seeing Ken'ichi in such pain without being able to do anything about it. And it hurt twice as much every time he recalled his son's face after finding out that his mother was gone. He had wailed and cried, accusing his father of lying. His mother was not dead. His mother was not gone.

The hardest part was telling her how she disappeared. As much as Ken'ichi loved his mother, he could not bring himself to hate his father and the son was speechless for days.

Ichigo groaned behind his sealed lips. It was just like his mother's death. No one was blaming him. Why wasn't anyone blaming him?

Ichigo would do anything to just have Rukia back.

He could've just died with her. He didn't care why or how. Death was better than this.

"Tadaima."

Ichigo looked up as his fingers released his hair upon hearing the greeting with the sound of the chimes and the opening door.

Tadaima?

No one else lived in that house except him and Ken'ichi.

"Rukia?" Ichigo muttered and he ran down the steps. The distance between the stairs and the genkan was only so short but he was already out of breath. The excitement was so intense, he seemed to be suffocating himself with his own reiatsu trying to shunpo. Running seemed to be forever and Ichigo felt his heart skip a beat upon reaching the door.

Black hair. Petite body. Violet eyes.

"Rukia?"

Empty.

Aside from the shelf and the shoes and the slippers, the genkan was fairly empty. The door was slightly open and there was a gentle breeze.

Ichigo felt his spirits fall.

No petite woman with black hair brushing over her violet eyes that shimmered when she smiled.

Stupid. Imagining things like that. Rukia would slap him across the face for it.

But he did hear someone, right?

Yes, in his dreams, probably.

With a heavy heart he walked into the genkan and closed the door. He gripped the knob as if waiting for someone to knock but further moments of silence told him to wait no more.

Kurosaki Rukia was not coming back.

"Bullshit." Ichigo grunted and loosened his fingers off the knob.

Ichigo walked heavily towards the stairs as one hand rubbed his forehead. He had been thinking so badly. Thinking too much. Perhaps he was tired. He should sleep for a while. The walk from the stairs to their room had never seemed so long as Ichigo made his way to the bedroom. He glanced towards the genkan till it was out of sight. He knew he had told himself that she wasn't there but still, he still hoped she would come from behind with a kick to the back of his head. Ichigo sighed heavily upon reaching the door to his bedroom. He twisted the knob heavily and opened the door. Stepping in, he glanced to one side where Rukia's discarded gigai lay on the bed as if she were sleeping. Ichigo shut the door silently and walked towards the faux body and sat beside it on the bed.

It was still asleep.

Thoughtfully, he brushed the strands of hair across the body's face.

It all started with the gigai, didn't it?

The Spirit Phone in his pocket began to beep.

He flipped it open and was not surprised to see an order. One Hollow. There were three Shinigami near it.

This could be good exercise.

Getting up, Ichigo took out his Shinigami Representative badge and used it on himself. His human body fell on the bed beside the gigai and he looked thoughtfully at it.

_Gone is that day._

Ichigo glanced at the phone again.

The two other Shinigami were not moving. Psch. Who could those two be?

What did it matter?

Ichigo then stepped on the window to leap out but was taken by surprise when someone else's foot landed beside his on the window sill. He gasped upon looking at the end of the black hakama and he fell back landing bottom first. Ichigo shook his head and looked up to curse but his brown pools met solid violet orbs.

She was standing after a gentle landing as the wind softly blew against her raven hair and she blinked as if surprised to have been seen by him. It took a while for Ichigo. He had to register all the facts and feelings. He had to check if he was awake. Nothing seemed to matter — not even the continuously beeping Spirit Phone in his hand.

"A… A…" he stammered and he clumsily got up but she only raised an eyebrow at him as she tilted her head and asked, "Do I know you?"

Ichigo's knees froze on the spot.

What did she say?

"Y-You don't know me?" he stammered as she gaped with her questioning eyes at him, "I'm…"  
"You seem to know me." She pointed at him as if it were nothing, "Do you know me?"

Wait a minute. Wasn't she Rukia? Or had she lost her memories?

"Y-you're…" Ichigo started taking heavy shaky steps towards her, "… Kuchiki Rukia, aren't you?"  
"No, I'm not." She frowned and her violet eyes narrowed at him, "I'm…"

Ichigo swallowed.

"… Kurosaki Ru—"

"RUKIA!" Ichigo shouted and he lunged at her. Her eyes widened but Rukia was unable to say anything when she felt his arms around her even as they fell right out the window. Ichigo had hit something. If it were the wall or the tree, he really could not tell and did not care. All that mattered was that he was actually holding Rukia in his arms, clutching her towards him, feeling her warmth and knowing so well that she was there. Rukia was saying something but all Ichigo could process in his head was the sound of her voice every time she said his name. They had hit the ground with a crash. It hurt quite so but it was nothing compared to the overwhelming happiness that was sweeping over him.

Happiness, relief, excitement, fulfillment…

"Ichigo!" Rukia piped at Ichigo who lay on his back against the ground as he held her head towards his chest. He laughed and rolled to his side so that he could wrap his legs around her small body. Rukia was saying something again. He didn't care. He just laughed.

"What's so funny!" she complained.  
"Nothing…!"  
"Then why are you laughing?"

Ichigo just continued to chuckle as he felt her locks against his face while he whiffed that scent of hers. She pouted and bit his arm.

"OOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Ichigo yelped in pain but refused to let her go. Although her teeth sank into his flesh, Ichigo actually considered it a welcome feeling.  
"You're crushing me!" Rukia said, "Is this how you welcome me back? Strangling me to death!?"  
"Is this how you react to my happiness, you ingrate!" Ichigo glared at her, "And how dare you call my hug strangling!"  
"Grappling, then!" Rukia drew her face closer in a challenge.  
"It's a _hug_!" Ichigo insisted, "And aside from that, you still have hell to pay for scaring me!"  
"_Scaring_ you!" Rukia's eyes were wide in retaliation, "_You're_ the one who seized me all of a sudden!"  
"Well, that's because you were acting like you didn't know me at all!" He shot back as he squeezed her tighter, "How _dare_ you even think of making me feel I was forgotten by you!"

Rukia paused.

"I'm just…" he said before taking in some air to calm himself down, "I'm so relieved."

He squeezed her tighter and she yelped slightly.

He could let go later but not now.

Ichigo looked down on her small visage and she blew on her hair that was over her face. It was something that had only been in his dreams lately. Now it was real. Her glare then softened and she smiled at him before opening her mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry I took so long before I was able to…"  
"Shh." Ichigo kissed her forehead, "Okaeri nasai."

"OTOUSAN!" Ken'ichi's voice came from the bedroom window and Rukia saw her son's head pop out and peek.

"Otousan, are you all right? I heard a stran—" Ken'ichi's mouth practically flung as open as possible upon seeing Ichigo sprawled on the grass with Rukia between his limbs. The distance between mother and son was certain but for some reason, Ken'ichi could clearly see her smile and heard her say, "Tadaima."

"O… Oka… Okae…" Ken'ichi muttered and bit his lip before running from the window and towards the door to run down. His voice trailed off and Rukia could not understand what he was shouting about. It was then that Ichigo's limbs tightened definitely around her. She looked up at him and smiled again.

"I missed you." He muttered.  
"I did, too." she whispered back.

Ichigo sighed and slowly drew her closer into a kiss. Rukia only released a soft moan as she felt her husband's lips against hers. This soft and warm feeling was one of the things both of them had long for along with each other's presence and touch. Ichigo held her tighter as if he could draw her any closer and she gripped the front of his haori as she tilted her head. Ichigo's mouth began to move on its own as he moaned in contentment. Nothing could tear him from her now. Nothing. Nothing at all.

"OKA— Otousan?" That was Ken'ichi's voice.

Rukia's eyes snapped open and from its corner, she saw her son standing and watching them lip-lock. Rukia began to tap rapidly on Ichigo's shoulder to let him know about that they were being watched (by their son, no less) but the orange-haired Shinigami Representative did not seem to care even if it were Commander-General Yamamoto who had been watching with a released Zanpakutou aimed at him. He groaned in complaint and refused to let go of her lips as he gripped her closer.

"Ew, you two!" Ken'ichi complained and stormed towards them, "STOP THAT!"

Ichigo merely shifted away but did not break the kiss as a red-faced Rukia continuously pushed against him. She was making weird sounds as if to tell him to stop and her mouth had stopped responding at will. Ichigo could manage, though.

"OTOUSAAAAAAAAN!" Ken'ichi stomped and grabbed his father by the shoulders, "STOP THAAAAAAAAAAT! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!"

Ichigo pulled away.

"Then don't look!" the father glared.

"OKASAN!" Ken'ichi had practically ignored his Otousan and began to insert himself into the small space between them. Ichigo sighed and loosened his arms to make way for Ken'ichi who immediately wrapped his arms around Rukia's neck. As soon as he was able to whiff her scent, Ken'ichi started to cry and Rukia looked at Ichigo as she held her son close. Ichigo smiled and wrapped his limbs around his family.

"Okaaaasaaaan…" Ken'ichi sobbed and Rukia winced as she felt Ken'ichi's nails digging into her skin but she did not complain. The boy was mumbling as he choked on his words and Rukia continued to smile. Ichigo's thumb came up and wiped off the small drops that were coming from the side of her eyes as she kissed her son on the head.

"Ichigo." Rukia's attention perked up.  
"Hm?" He asked as Ken'ichi started placing kisses on his mother's face.  
"What's that?" Rukia raised an eyebrow as she looked around.  
"What's what?" Ichigo asked again.  
"That." Rukia blinked, "You hear that?"

Ken'ichi and Ichigo looked at each other. Ichigo paused.

Spirit Phone beeping!

"Oh…!" Ichigo sat up and both his wife and son followed suit as he picked up the complaining Spirit Phone that he had sandwiched between his body and the ground.  
"It's an order and you're ignoring it!" Rukia pointed at him.  
"Oh, shut it." Ichigo closed the phone, "After all, there are three Shini…"

The image on the phone's screen flashed back. The three Shinigami were not moving.

He paused.

Kurosaki Ichigo. Kurosaki Rukia. Kurosaki Ken'ichi.

THREE SHINIGAMI.

"AWWW, SHIT!"

- End of Chapter 31 -

* * *

Author: Araaaaa, this was supposed to be out the next day but I kind of thought I needed to make up for lost time. Aaaaand, yes, this chapter did not give any conclusions. Yesh, yesh… I am evil. A good friend of mine says "Everyone wants to be good so I want to be true and say that I'm evil."

–is chewing on e-given munchies-

One more chapter to go before the ending… or two… Er… Let's see how everything turns out! BANKAI! BANKAI!

Hitsugaya: It's your story and you don't know how long before it _ends_?

Xairylle: Ara, Shiro-chan! I'm kind of half-spontaneous when I write and…

Hitsugaya: So how is that KenYui fic you're trying to do?

Ishida: WHAT WAS THAT!? You're all PERVERTS! My daughter is not growing up yet! My daughter… My daughter… -mumbles to self while sitting in one corner-

Hitsugaya: Woot for him. I just wanted his daughter to stop bugging me.

Xairylle: Uh… Bankai?


	32. Unlock The Epilogue Epilogue

**Oh My Kichigai!**  
By Uchiha Xairylle

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Unlock The Epilogue – The Epilogue**

* * *

Ken'ichi had lost count on how many people had greeted his father as they walked along the wooden corridors. Ohayou, Kurosaki-daikou. Ohayou, Kurosaki-san. Ohayou, Kurosaki-dono. His father had a rank equal to a Captain. At first, Ken'ichi did not understand what that meant but after seeing the elite treatment his father was receiving, Ken'ichi felt like he had to walk in a dignified manner. Chest out. Stomach in. Solid footsteps. If they only knew that _Kurosaki-daikou_ was someone who was crushed by a basin used by a certain petite Shinigami…

_Ken'ichi, why didn't you show me to them?_

Ken'ichi cleared his throat and his father only glanced at him but said nothing. Sacerdotista had been bugging him to release her in front of the Commander-General and when he didn't, she began to throw a fit.

_What are you saying, Sacerdotista? You're going to get him into trouble.  
I don't see why he has to show YOU to them when I look so much better!  
What did you say, you copy cat blade!?_

Byakuya was the one who told Ken'ichi to release only Kaifukuryoku in front of Yamamoto because it was a Shinigami Shikai.

_Hidoi! How dare you call me a copy cat, you ugly-named sword._

_Excuse me!?_

Great… Two female swords having a cat fight in his head. Ken'ichi really wouldn't mind if they just left him out of the whole conversation.

_You heard me, flat-chested woman blade!  
Oh, and you're going to use your breasts to kill people!? Left breast to absorb and ri—  
HENTAAAAAAAAAI! Kaifukuryoku is hentai!_

Ken'ichi shuddered at Sacerdotista's shrill voice in his head. Why couldn't he just have had male swords or something that could co-exist in harmony?

"URRRGH." Ken'ichi shook his head and Ichigo looked at him to ask him what was wrong. Ken'ichi grunted, "They're at it again."

Ichigo just chuckled and shook his head.

_Ken'ichi has to use Hollow powers to use you and he has to wear his mask so that he won't go blind!  
I don't see where you're getting at.  
Damn, you woman, don't you understand that Ken'ichi can't show his Hollow side to that old man!_

Ken'ichi was now frowning visibly but Ichigo let him deal with his swords alone.

_Well at least admit that you wanted to show off, Kaifukuryoku.  
Hey, I HAD to show off, you know.  
You have nothing to show off, you underdeveloped blade!  
And you have one big identity crisis, boob-blade!_

"BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP OR ELSE I'M GOING TO THROW YOU INTO THE WATER!" Ken'ichi aimed to hurl his Zanpakutou towards the pond nearby and Ichigo's eyebrows shot up at this.

_HIDOI DESU!  
HIDOI! HIDOI!_

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT AS MEAN AS THE TWO OF YOU RAMBLING IN MY HEAD!"

"What's this racket?"

Ichigo looked up.

"Yo, Toushiro." Ichigo nodded and Ken'ichi stopped upon seeing a white-haired boy wearing a Captain's Cape and behind him was a tall woman with a scandalously low-cut haori.

Who was this guy again?

"You mean Hitsugaya-_taichou_."

Oh, right. The one Yui had forced to carry her and he was gladly willing to oblige.

"Hitsugaya-hentai." Ken'ichi said flatly (as well as impulsively) and Hitsugaya glared at the smaller Shinigami who was hitching his Zanpakutou back in place. Not that Ken'ichi actually cared if anyone picked up Yui. He just didn't like perverts, that's all. But in the dictionary of boy-genius-youngest-captain-white-hair-that-kicks-your-ass, Hitsugaya Toushiro was _not_ hentai.

"What did you call me?" Hitsugaya frowned at Ken'ichi who frowned back. Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow.

"Hitsugaya-hentai." Ken'ichi said again and Ichigo rolled his eyes away as Matsumoto giggled. Hitsugaya sent her a warning glance and she clamped her lips together as her cheeks puffed to restrain herself from laughing.

"What's_your_ problem?" Hitsugaya nodded at Ken'ichi, "At least I don't threaten to throw my sword."

Ken'ichi grunted, wanting to say "At least I have two swords" but just opted to shut up as he eyed Hitsugaya.

"Ken'ichi, Toushiro is…" Ichigo began.  
"Hitsugaya-taichou!"  
"… Is a boy-genius Captain so at least call him…" Ichigo continued as if ignoring the small Captain.  
"Hitsugaya-taichou!"  
"… Hitsugaya-kun."  
"I SAID THAT'S HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU TO YOU!"  
"Fine." Ken'ichi crossed his arms, "Hitsugaya-kun."

"You little insect." Hitsugaya glared and felt his strands of hair twitch out of place as Matsumoto laughed unstoppably in the background. He sent her a heavier warning glance and her hands covered her mouth to stop herself before her Captain freezes her on the spot.

"HELLO, SHIRO-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth behind his lips. It was more aggravating than dealing with Hollows!

"I said that's—"  
"Shiro-taichou!"

Kusajika Yachiru smiled widely at him as she raised her hand. Hitsugaya paused. The adult way… The adult way… Do not pick on kids. Do not pick on kids. Do not pick on kids.

"Yare, yare…" Ichigo scratched his head and Ken'ichi eyed the lieutenant's badge on Yachiru's arm. Lieutenant? This girl? She was smaller than he was and she looked like she was only two years younger. And she had pink hair.

Pink.

Ken'ichi cringed.

His father had orange hair. Hitsugaya-_kun_ had white hair. Abarai-san had red hair. Now this girl had pink hair. He wondered how many more colored heads he was going to see. No wonder why Madarame-san didn't have any hair. Perhaps that rainbow-haired bully was a Shinigami and he did not know it? If it were so then he was probably the worst Shinigami in the history of the worst Shinigami. It would take time before he got used to this but in due time, he would.

How long? Well, what about six years after?

"KIICHI-NII!!" a little boy's voice shrieked with the sound of a flying body in the air. Ken'ichi was able to see streaks of what seemed to be chestnut brown.

"KYAUGH!" a sixteen year-old Ken'ichi groaned as a five year-old boy landed on his stomach while he was lying down on his bed, "HIDEKI, DON—AURGH!"

"KIICHI-NII!" a little girl's voice this time and Ken'ichi's face met two little feet. Between her little toes, Ken'ichi could see her long locks of beautiful orange.

"GET OFF ME!" Ken'ichi complained and shoved off the two kids. The little boy fell off the bed as the little girl scampered to the edge and gripped the end of the blanket to her self. Ken'ichi groaned. He was now regretting having two siblings who only had a year between them while he was a teenager suffering from adolescence, hormones, pimples and quadratic equations.

"Ohayou, Kiichi-nii!"  
"Ohayou, Kiichi-nii!"

It was also annoying how Mai repeated what Hideki said.

"Ohayou…" Ken'ichi yawned as Mai crawled towards him and sat on his leg. He sighed and scratched the raven mess on his head from just waking up. Hideki was getting onto the bed and was probably getting ready to hurl another attack. Urgh, these brats were annoying whenever they tried to attack him. He should've considered breaking into the weird noises he heard from his parent's bed room back when he was ten then perhaps he might've stopped the horror that was Mai and Hideki. He could not remember how embarrassed he was upon realizing what Kama Sutra actually was. After all, he actually tried asking about it in Science class and his teacher fainted from a nosebleed. Since then, he vowed to take second thoughts on believing _anything_ from Abarai-san.

Kurosaki Mai was Ichigo's apple of the eye. Probably even the fruit salad of his eye. Right now, she was still oblivious that her exact copy of Rukia's pout could send her father to doing various things like buying her a large doll house half the size of their living room. Rukia shipped the whole thing to the Kuchiki mansion. Apparently, Mai enjoyed being hugged and kissed and pampered by orange-head "Daddy". Only Mai called Ichigo "Daddy". As stupid and overly childish as it sounded, Ichigo seemed to like it and he would wear the stupidest of all grins whenever his daughter would do something "cute". He also shifted to Shinigami form and started to scare the hell out of one of Mai's classmate's mother for calling "his little tangerine angel" an "orange little bimbo". It would be either hilarious or horrific to find out what would happen to Mai's very first suitor, prom date, Tango partner and so on and so forth.

Ken'ichi had grown out of all the attention and had no qualms whatsoever with his mother squealing over her little baby Deki-chan. Hideki was a mama's boy and damn _proud of it_. Ken'ichi could not remember how many times that hideous little monster was able to get out of random fits because of that. No matter, though. Ken'ichi was still Byakuya-ojisama's favorite. At least _he_ didn't have silly things in mind. But Ken'ichi had to admit that he kind of felt bad after making Rukia cry when he lashed at her when she tried comforting him from the so-called "Ken'ichi-got-dumped" rumor. No truth to that, if it mattered. He hadn't taken any interest in girls and it was all thanks to his not-so-good experiences with Yui. The Ishida girl was enough to fill in the "female exposure" blank on his life's application form.

Ishida Yui was enough.

HOLD IT! NOT IN A MUSHY WAY!

Ken'ichi diverted his attention towards the clock.

7:00 AM.

Time to get ready for school.

Ken'ichi looked at the two kids who were now knotting the sheets together. He had to do something about these little twerps first or he was never going to even start the day. After all, his mother and father left suddenly for Sereitei and Ken'ichi wanted to blame Yamamoto for it.

"Hey, you two, I have a game for you."

The twins face brightened.

"Nani, nani, Kiichi-nii?" That was Hideki.  
"Nani, nani, Kiichi-nii?" Mai repeated.

Ken'ichi scratched sighed heavily. They should stop doing that, really. He did not care if his Karin-obasan called his father "Ichi-nii" but he did mind being called "Kii-chan" let alone "Kiichi-nii"…!

"I want you to go to Urahara's store and return to me the single black strand of hair on his head."

There was silence and Hideki was quizzically looking at his older brother. Hideki was the one who always asked, "What's in it for me?" And Mai was the one who "If Deki-nii does it, then Mai-chan will do it, too!"

"Winner gets a prize."

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!" They chorused and started speeding out of his room. His father would kill him for this but what the hell? Ken'ichi grinned and shook his head before getting up. He paused and looked at a smaller version of his father's Shinigami Representative Badge hanging on his bed post before looking out the window.

It was really hard changing to Shinigami form when your father looked young enough to be your brother. Ken'ichi remembered how flabbergasted he was upon learning that his mother was almost ten times as old as her husband. That was just… wow. Talk about age gap. That just proved that age and time did not defy love.

Boy, was that a girly line.

---

"Ichigo would you please get up?" Rukia complained as she poked Ichigo with her foot. He was sitting on the roof of the Kuchiki mansion and he glared before turning so that he had his back to her as he listened to the phone he was holding to his ear. Rukia's angry vein popped out and picked up her husband by the back of his haori.

"I SAID GET UP!"  
"NO!" Ichigo complained, "I'm not doing anything until my daughter answers her phone!"

Rukia sighed heavily. Six years ago, Ichigo would've just sped off to look for the way back towards his target but now that he was a bit older, he had learned that acting out of total impulse would have him suffer under Yamamoto's _cane._He had been under the mercy of said horrific cane for around three hundred seventy-two (and a half if you count the time he was able to escape) times after burning paper work, losing paper work, not attending meetings, answering back casually, kicking Captains in the face and so on and so forth. It was really unlike the Commander not to just kill off Ichigo or lock him in the Shrine of Penitence for life.

He was not as impulsive (only for certain circumstances) but he was still incorrigible as ever.

"We still have a lot of work to do!" Rukia complained. She still did not hold any notable seat in the Gotei 13 all thanks to Kuchiki Byakuya and her husband, Kurosaki Ichigo. In spite of her being able to perform Bankai, those two still insisted on their (rather insulting) theories that "higher-ranked officers get more dangerous missions".

"I don't care!" Ichigo growled at her, "I'm not going to move unless I get to talk to my daughter!"  
"Ichigo, Mai is _fine_!" Rukia replied, "Ken'ichi's over there to take care of things!"  
"And what if he accidentally leaves his Shinigami Badge lying around _again_ and Mai-chan gets into her Shinigami body _again_ and is almost eaten by a Hollow… AGAIN!" Ichigo ranted as he got up.

Rukia sighed again.

Time did change several things…

"Kurosachi…!"

And yet, some other things just refuse to change for their own good.

"God damn it! It's Ku-ro-sa-ki!" Ken'ichi complained as he frustratingly held back from strangling the three older delinquents who had stepped from behind. The raven-haired Kurosaki Ichigo carbon copy in his gray Karakura High School uniform stood with a smirk on par with his father's.

"It's been _six_ years, you morons! Prove your worth by at least remembering the surname of the guy you're _trying_ to bully!"  
"That's something." Ryu laughed as he fixed his hair, "Ken'ichi, you don't even know their names."  
"Why should I, baka?" Ken'ichi grunted as he put a hand in his pocket, "They're not worth knowing."

"Eye for an eye, then." Yui sighed as she fixed the end of her sleeves of her gray Karakura uniform and the wind blew. Her hand came up so that the wind did not mess up the natural flips and waves of her deep brown hair as she said, "Hurry up or we're going to be late."

"ISHIDA-SAAAAAAAAN!" The three bully wanna-be's sighed as they squeezed their hands together. Yui sighed and Ken'ichi annoyingly threatened to throw the nearby trashcan at them. When the three of them started to rattle on about Ken'ichi being so _gay_ for not liking "Ishida-san"; that if they had been him, they would have gone out with her a hundred times, the Kurosaki boy lost it and began beating the hell out of the three delinquents before they could start another sentence.

"You try too hard but you don't really have to protect me." Yui sneered as she combed her locks with her fingers. Ken'ichi's eye twitched as he looked at the last falling body and said, "You're in over your head."

"You're being too modest, _Kurosaki-kun._"  
"And your ego is waving its ugly head at me, _Ishida-san._"  
"Ugly Shinigami."  
"Tomboyish Quincy."

Ryu rolled his eyes away.

Six years and this idiotic bickering still went on. Ryu amused himself with the invisible bond between his sister and his best friend. It was in plain sight and yet shrouded by something else. Whatever. He had no intention of playing matchmaker for anyone. He would rather play the role of the Cheshire Cat. Ken'ichi could be Alice and Yui could be the Queen of Hearts.

He should write a story about this and read it to Hideki and Mai.

But that would have to wait.

"Ara." Ryu shrugged and looked up casually to the sky, "Well, what do we have here?"  
"What is it?" Ken'ichi and Yui looked at Ryu who replied, "Coming, coming. Menos Grande."  
"Sou da na?" Yui muttered as she looked up.

"Menos Grande, huh?" Ken'ichi felt for his Shinigami Badge and immediately used it. The special badge was built in with a mod-soul that Urahara specifically designed for him.

"This one's mine." Ken'ichi said as the mod soul ran to safety with his human body.  
"You wish." Yui flipped her hair and flicked her wrist.  
"Both of you do." Ryu smiled as he, "That Vasto Lorde's mine."

The sky cracked open and a human-looking Hollow landed with much force on the ground. Ken'ichi stood in his Shinigami body before pulling out his sword and pointing at the adversary as Yui strung her webbed bow. Three points formed a triangle in front of her and a light blue shield formed as an instant shield. Ryu stood calmly with over fifty arrows around him.

"The two of you try too hard." Ken'ichi smirked at Ryu and Yui.  
"That's my line." Yui replied.  
"Hoo boy." Ryu wore his usual smile, "Let's get along with each other, ne? Not that I'm going to let you score in on this one."

---

"You sincerely think your son will jeopardize his siblings?" Rukia tilted her head.

---

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ken'ichi's ears perked up and he nearly changed color upon hearing two familiar little voices.

Oh, dear lord, no.

From behind the hundred-point worth of a hollow, two black blurs leapt from behind. Ken'ichi did not have to hear those voices twice and he did not have to check that reiatsu again.

Kurosaki Hideki.

Kurosaki Mai.

DOOM!

Kurosaki Ken'ichi could very much be a dead young man if he did nothing about his two siblings in Shingami garb that were about to use their still unnamed Zanpakutou to slash the Vasto Lorde from behind. It would hit… _if_ the Vasto Lorde was just going to stand _still_ to receive the blow that probably would just dent its armor.

"YOU IDIOTS!!!" Ken'ichi yelled and the Vasto Lorde turned to look at the two delicious Shinigami children. What the crap were those two doing here without Urahara!

"Change of plans!" Yui told the two young men upon seeing the Cero that was forming in the Hollow's mouth.

"Santen Kesshun!" Ryu announced and two triangular shields appeared in front of Hideki and Mai, "I reject!"

The tri-link shield immediately pushed the Kurosaki children away from the Hollow. Yui's bow disappeared. Someone should really do something about that Cero that was threatening to blast into a disaster.

"Soten Kisshun!" Yui declared and a small bluish barrier enclosed the Cero inside the Hollow.

_Got you!_

"I reject!"

The small bluish barrier started to squeeze the insisting ball of energy in the Hollow's mouth. The Vasto Lorde yelled in retaliation and glared at Yui. Although the Cero blast was "rejected" and disappeared, the Hollow then proceeded to shoot needle-like projections at them.

This should not get out of hand.

Ken'ichi grunted.

"BANKAI!"

---

"It's not that I don't trust him." Ichigo sighed as he redialed his lovable daughter's number, "It's just that… Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hel—Hello?" Ichigo got up and Rukia blinked at him as he frowned. She mouthed a "Who is it" at him but he shushed her with his hand. Ichigo raised an annoyed eyebrow and said, "Hello? Who is this?"  
"Hello? Ara, well, the number you have dialed is currently unattended by Mai-chan. Please try your call lat—"  
"DAMN YOU, URAHARA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER'S PHONE!?" Ichigo yelled and Rukia gasped.  
"That didn't sound right." Urahara's sing-song voice came from the phone.  
"Shut up! Where is—"  
"The subscriber can not be reached." The shopkeeper was trying to sound convincing, "Please try again later."  
"URAHARA!"  
"Beep! Beep! Beep!"  
"URA—"

Click!

The ex-captain hung up. Ichigo gripped his phone without stirring from his form as he listened to the beeping sound from the receiver. Curse that Urahara Kisuke. Ichigo held his breath in and Rukia bit her lip as she backed to safety.

"RUKIA!" Ichigo yelled and his wife squeezed her eyes at the sudden outburst of reiatsu.  
"Y-yes, darling?" Rukia tried smiling faintly.  
"Don't you darling me! We're going back!"  
"B-but, Ichigo…!"

Without waiting for her to reason out properly, Ichigo grabbed her by the wrist and they both disappeared to head for the portal to the living world. Rukia just prayed that this better not be Ken'ichi's fault or even that long crimson Bankai of his can't do anything if Ichigo sees a scratch on his daughter's young skin.

---

"KWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Mai wailed as Ryu began to tell her it was all right as he healed the small wound on her knee. To Ken'ichi, it wasn't even bleeding but it looked like a grounded week for him.

"I WANT MY DADDYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Otousan's not here." Hideki frowned, "Stop crying. It's annoying. The germs love crying little girls and if you don't stop crying, they'll rip the wound larger."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Stupid Hideki.

"Hideki, would you please stop talking?" Ken'ichi was scratching his head.  
"But, it's true, Kiichi-nii!" Hideki reasoned out.  
"No, it's _not_." Ken'ichi glared.  
"Yes, it is."  
"It is _not_ or I'm going to break apart those action figures in your room!"

Hideki gasped. His lower lip trembled.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Great. Now he had two crying kids to shut up. To top that off, they were going to be late.

"I am _so_ dead." Ken'ichi slapped his forehead. Yui looked at him and smirked. Men air such airheads. She looked at her watch and shrugged. Perhaps she should help him out.

"Ano sa, ano sa…" Yui said as she stooped beside Hideki who immediately clamped his lips together as he blushed upon seeing Yui's face. Oh, that's right. Ken'ichi's _ototou_ had an enormous crush on this Ishida amazon.

"You know, Hideki-kun…" Yui began, "Crying little boys aren't cute."  
"I…" Hideki stuttered as his cheeks puffed to suppress that wail from the image of his broken action figures, "I'm… not crying…"  
"I see. That is good." Yui smiled and Hideki was now blinking dreamily at her. The little twerp had forgotten all about his decapitated action figures in his head.

"Hideki-kun, if anyone happens to know what happened today…" Yui said again as she looked away, "I will be extremely sad."  
"I don't want Yui-oneesan to be sad." Hideki said with full determination, "I'll see to it that no one finds out what happened today."

The witch had one follower.

One down. One to go.

"Ano sa, Mai-chan." Yui whispered, "Do you love your Ken'ichi-oniichan?"  
"H-hai…" Mai nodded teary-eyed from the pain that existed only in her head.  
"If you keep crying like that…" Yui inched closer, "Ken'ichi-oniichan will disappear."

Yui gasped. Ken'ichi raised an eyebrow.

What the crap?

"A black moon will eat him and slice him and take him and…"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mai shrieked and at the same time, a sliding fusuma opened beside Ken'ichi who gasped in surprise as he backed.

"Mai-chan!" Ichigo deliberately leaped out of the portal and Rukia stepped out ceremoniously.  
"Daddy!" That was obviously the tangerine princess.

"Has Daddy's little princess been crying?" Ichigo asked as his strong arms scooped up the small body on the street. The girl opened her mouth and looked at Ken'ichi who had now lost color.

_A black moon will eat him and slice him and take him and…_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mai yelled and Ichigo's eyes widened as the little girl continued, "A Hollow appeared and Mai-chan got scared and Kiichi-nii saved Mai-chan! I don't want anything to hurt Kiichi-nii! KIICHI-NII! KIICHI-NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Holy hell.

"Oh, oh… Stop crying, dimple buns." Ichigo rocked his princess who was trying _so hard_ not to break into tears, "Nobody's going to hurt oniichan."

Did that mean Ken'ichi's ass was saved?

"Run along and go to school now, Kii-chan. You're going to be late."

Ken'ichi sighed in relief and let the "Kii-chan" nickname slide as he nodded lightly before walking away with Yui and Ryu.

His ass was saved.

"God, Yui, I love you."

Yui stopped and looked at him. It was only then that he realized what he'd said.

"What?"

Her tone was half-irritated but her face was pinking. Ken'ichi could see Ryu grinning and hear him said, "Yay, finally!"

"N-no, wait!" Ken'ichi began frantically, "It's not like that…!"  
"Oh, so you don't love my sister?" Ryu raised an eyebrow. The Ishida boy loved these moments.  
"What?" Ken'ichi was lost, "It's not… It's… I mean… Wait…"

Yui stared at him but managed to regain Quincy composure and put her nose in the air saying, "What do I care?"

"Right, what do you ca—" Ken'ichi began, "Wait, you don't care?"

"Yes, I don't care." Yui said snobbishly and stormed off ahead. Ryu put his hands at the back of his head and commented, "Oh, well, I was just kidding. After all, I did see you looking at Chiharu-san during P.E., Ken'ichi."

Yui stopped. There was an angry vein and then a shrill, Quincy female voice.

"KEN'ICHI, YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERT!"

A flying fist. A flying body.

Damn, Ryu was such a bastard.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

Author: Okay, I'm sorry I'm late. First off, I've been through hell with this last chapter because I had to redo it from scratch for how many times I lost count! It's a long story. I'd rather not share it here. Yes, it didn't answer a lot of questions. I did it on purpose. I swear I would've gone longer with Tousen, Gin, Isshin, Ryuken and more but the chapters were piling up. I had to wrap it up. But still, thank you. I hope I didn't disappoint you too much.

Anyway, THANK YOU! The "Oh My…!" Bleach Fanfic Trilogy has come to a close! I am SO GRATEFUL! And I am SO HAPPY! I am glad. I am happy. I am… I am… I am… I am running out of words!

Thanks for all the e-given stuff, the reviews, the concern, the support, the constructive criticism, the error alerts, the PM's, the e-mails, the "quoting", the link, the confidence boost, the hits, the faves, the alerts, the Friendster invites… AND EVERYTHING ELSE I MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN!

Thank you for sticking with me and my series. It matters to me — a lot. I enjoyed writing with you, guys.

Credits! Yeah, I arranged them alphabetically because this IS the last part of the trilogy, ne? Haha. There are some names that I CLEARLY remember ever since "Oh My Gigai!" and I'm REALLY thankful to you guys!!

If you reviewed and didn't see your name here, your name is probably included in the review pages that I can not open as of the moment. Sorry!

As of now, 819 reviews for "Oh My Kichigai!" chapters 1-31. Way past "Oh My Kichigai!" I'm not laying down the stats to brag. It's a mark. I'm not changing the Author's Notes as much as possible. Yet again, guys… Arigatou.

**HONTOU NI ARIGATOU.**

Hopefully, this is not the last time I say this... Cheerios, cookies and a whole lot of Bankai love!

* * *

**As of January 2, 2008, GMT +8:00**

Justin aka Fairwinds - THANK YOU for sending me that mail review. I appreciate it so much! THANK YOU!

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